A/N: Thanks again for the reviews, follows and favorites. This chapter will include both ladies as well as a little about their new identities but I'm not giving it all away just yet. Even though it may have moved quickly from their stabbing/shooting to them going into the program, their journey is just beginning. Usual disclaimers apply, I own nothing but my own characters. Again a thank you to Little Miss Nicap for trusting me with the idea for this story, I hope I do it justice. Let me know what you think. I hope you enjoy!
Chapter 4
It had been three weeks since the stabbing, and three weeks since Olivia had spent more than two nights in one place. While her wound had healed nicely the emotional scars were still healing. At night she would have dreams of being stabbed again only this time she lay bleeding out on the sidewalk, the worst one was when she would dream she was kidnapped by the gang and was forced to watch as they killed her friends. After leaving LA there were stops in Nevada, Arizona, Colorado, Kansas, Missouri and their final stop was in Madison, Wisconsin, her new home. They had spent several days in New Mexico since that was where her new identity said she was from. She was now Rachel Martin, age thirty five, short blonde hair, born and raised in New Mexico. While in New Mexico the Marshals took the opportunity to take pictures of her at a few locations to add to her story. The entire time she was traveling she felt as if she were suffocating. People were around her at all times, barely leaving her a moment alone. Marshal Carson was still with her and he would also be who she contacted for any issues or emergencies. The nurse who was traveling with her had finally left once she had healed.
She was now settled into a small two bedroom ranch style house in a quiet neighborhood just outside Madison. When she was a kid she had lived in a house with her Mom but after graduating from the academy she had only lived in apartments. Olivia had to admit as much as she hated her situation she did kind of like her new house. It was nicely decorated, even if it wasn't her style, and the Marshals had assured her that she could redecorate any way she wanted. She was sitting on the couch with the large binder that included her entire life, her new life. Rachel had been born in Santa Fe but grew up in one of the quieter neighborhoods just outside the city. Her father had took off shortly after her birth leaving just her and her mother. Her Mom worked as a secretary at the high school she had attended and had passed away a few years ago. After graduating high school Rachel attended Santa Fe Community College and had taken a job at St. Vincent Regional Medical Center working the admit desk in the emergency room.
She looked up from her studying when Marshal Carson entered the home. He was staying with her for a few more days and in case any neighbors stopped in to introduce themselves the story was that he was her cousin who helped her move and would be sticking around for a few days. "Well Tyler, what's the real world like?"
He took a seat in the chair on the opposite side of the room "I've told you that you can go out if you want. You will have to get used to going out alone."
She leaned her head back and stared at the ceiling "I know, it's just every time I'm about to I get nervous."
He nodded at the notepad next to the phone "Well you'll have to get over that pretty quick. I forgot to tell you that while you were in the shower you had a phone call. That daycare that you applied to, in the Woodburn office building, they called and want to set up an interview."
"I…I don't know. I don't know if I'm ready to go out yet."
"Look it's a good job from the sounds of it. Day time hours, no weekends. And didn't you say you like being around kids?" she nodded. "Well there you go. Give them a call." He then leaned forward in his seat "We don't know how long you'll be with us. Now I'm not trying to sound like a dick but you need to get out there and get on with life. I know it sucks but this is reality now."
While Tyler had annoyed her at times she had to admit she liked him "Whether you meant to or not you do sound like a dick." She smiled then "You're right though. I'll call them as soon as I finish going over my info again."
Later in the evening she was once again reviewing her story for her interview the next day. The thing she had found most difficult was answering to Rachel and not Olivia. She had been Olivia for thirty five years that was not something you could change overnight. Tyler, as well as a few others on their trip to Wisconsin, had repeatedly worked with her but it wasn't without mistakes. She had finally gotten to the point where she could hear Olivia but not look at the person who was saying the name. She was sitting on the bed in her room reciting her name and address in preparation for her interview.
"Hey Rachel?"
"Hmm?"
Tyler broke into a wide smile "You did it."
Rachel cocked her head sideways "Did what?"
"You answered to Rachel right off the bat. You're getting the hang of it."
She smiled but it was a sad smile "I'm trying but its hard being someone you're not."
He stepped into the room "I understand."
Rachel stood from the bed and began looking through the sparsely populated closet "I really hope I get this job I need to get some more clothes."
"What, you don't like the clothes the government provided?" he smirked.
She gave him a thumbs up "My tax dollars hard at work." They had provided her with money for necessities until she got a job. They had provided her with some clothes to get through until then as well, considering the only clothes she owned when she left the hospital were the ones she was wearing. "It's not that I don't appreciate what I've been given but they're just not exactly me."
"You're not Olivia anymore." He said gently.
She sighed as she pulled a blouse and dress pants from the closet "Don't remind me." she then looked into the mirror over the dresser "And why blonde hair?" she asked as she ran her fingers through her now short cropped hair.
"We had to change your appearance. In the event someone followed or anything. I know you find a lot of this annoying and an inconvenience but we are trying to keep you alive."
"And I appreciate that." she sighed. "I'm trying to adjust but it's hard."
"I think the color suits you."
She gave him a withering look "Really? Are you blind? I haven't been a blonde since I was sixteen and I swore that I would never do that again." she leaned in closer to the mirror "I couldn't wash it out fast enough. Plus it's awfully short, I just managed to get it grown out again."
"It's just hair Rachel."
She looked to him and then down to his wedding ring "I certainly hope you don't talk to your wife that way."
He smiled brightly "No ma'am…she can kick my ass."
Rachel burst into laughter "In case you've forgotten I can kick your ass."
He laughed as well "Yeah but I'm only going to be around you for a few more days and then I'm gone. I'm spending the rest of my life with her."
As much as she hated her situation she was grateful she at least had someone who was nice and tried to be understanding to her situation, but at the same time wasn't afraid to call her out. "I'm sure it will be a good life too." She then put her hands on his arm and pushed him out the door "Now I have to go to sleep I have a big day tomorrow. It'll be the first job interview I've done in more years than I care to count."
The following afternoon Rachel pulled into the driveway of her new home. She had been nervous at first about going out alone but slowly began to relax. After her interview she had decided to drive around her neighborhood a bit to familiarize herself. It was nothing like LA that was for sure but she figured there were worse places she could be spending her time.
She walked in and wasn't surprised to see Tyler sitting at the dining room table on the phone while going over paperwork. She held up the grocery bags and smiled as he hung up. "I'm tired of takeout and microwave meals, and I'm sure you are too, so I stopped at the store and I'm going to cook for us."
"You cook?" he asked with raised eyebrows.
"Very little. How does salad and roast chicken sound?"
"Sounds great."
"Good," she nodded "It's the only thing I can make anyway."
After changing and getting dinner started she returned to the dining room table and began looking over some of the papers that were for her.
"So how'd the interview go?"
She smiled but her head was still down. "I got it. Well if my drug test comes back clean I've got it."
"That's great."
"They'll call me back tomorrow or the next day but as of right now I start Monday. The lady who runs the daycare was very nice and I think I'll like it there. She said we have anywhere between thirty and forty kids a day, all ranging in ages from infants to five years old. She said during school holidays and summer vacations that number can increase as well as the age range. The pay is good, not what I made before, but good plus it's got great insurance. Never mind it's Monday thru Friday seven thirty am to five thirty pm and weekends off." she laughed lightly and shook her head "I don't remember what it's like to have a weekend off."
"Maybe you can have a life." he offered.
At that her smile faded "And all it took was losing my life."
On Saturday morning Rachel was cleaning up the kitchen after breakfast while Tyler was preparing to leave. Her drug test had come back clean, as she expected, and she would be starting work at the daycare on Monday. She had spent the last couple days going out and learning more about her new town and neighborhood, as well as going shopping for some new clothes. She had lucked out with getting on at the daycare since they dealt with kids all day and messes were a given she would be allowed to wear jeans and they would provide polo shirts with the daycare's logo on them. She was so lost in her thoughts she didn't hear Tyler approach from the hall.
"Olivia!"
"What?!" she shouted as she jumped and turned to face him.
"Wrong!" he said.
"Damnit!" she said as she realized she had failed another one of his tests.
"I didn't mean to scare you but I had to test you. You've gotten pretty good at not responding to Olivia in a normal conversation but what if someone yells out Olivia on the street? If you are being watched and you respond to Olivia that's it."
"I know. I know."
Three more times that morning before he left Tyler tested her by shouting Olivia. Finally on the third time she didn't respond. As he stood at the door with his bags in hand he reached out and shook hers "You're going to be fine."
"I know." She didn't exactly sound convinced.
"You have all your papers and my number. I will be checking in on you from time to time but if you need me just call. Like I already told you, if you think you've been made call me immediately."
"I will."
He turned and made his way out to his rental car. After backing out of the driveway he rolled the window down and waved "See ya next time Rach!"
She smiled and waved while speaking under her breath "I hate that name."
Alex groaned as she went through her exercises with her nurse. Her wound from her gunshot was healing nicely and she was now doing physical therapy to regain her strength and mobility. It had been four weeks since the shooting and she was now settled in her new home just outside Madison, Wisconsin. The townhome she was now living in was nice but it wasn't her apartment in Manhattan, it wasn't home. On her way here from New York she had spent a little time in several different locations. She didn't like the stops and starts and only spending a few days at a location before moving again but riding in the SUV wasn't kind to her shoulder. The location they had stayed at in Indiana had been her favorite, it was peaceful and the fresh air had helped her to relax a bit. She wasn't sure how to feel about her new home, at least not yet. She had secretly hoped for a location a little further south, at least she could avoid the snow and cold that New York and the North was famous for. She had a feeling that the winter wouldn't be kind to shoulder.
"Do you think I'm well enough to start work?"
The older woman who was her nurse smiled "I think so. The wound has healed up nicely and your therapy is going well. As long as you're not lifting anything heavy you should be fine."
"I start tomorrow with an insurance agency. It's a desk job and right now it'll just be handling claims and assisting one of the agents. She told me that if everything goes well and I do a good job I will move up to researching fraudulent claims." She secretly hoped that would happen quickly. While she couldn't do anything in the law field she would take what she could get, even if that meant researching fraudulent insurance claims. At least she would be helping put a stop to people who were breaking the law.
"Emily?"
"Emily?"
"Emily!" Marshal Wilson said a little louder.
"Huh?"
Kelly walked over and took a seat facing the other woman. "You've been doing pretty well in responding to your name. What happened?"
She sighed "I wasn't paying attention. I was thinking."
"That's understandable but that won't work every time you don't respond to your name. You're starting work tomorrow."
"I know and I think being called Emily all day by multiple people will help." Emily stood and stretched lightly after finishing her exercises. She walked to the door with the nurse and said their goodbyes. The older woman was staying at a hotel and would be leaving in the next few days. The story for Marshal Wilson was she was a childhood friend who had helped with the move and was staying on to visit for a while. Just before closing the door, and just like she had been doing every time she opened the door, Emily looked around to make sure she wasn't being watched. She had never been a paranoid person and she hated that this had turned her into one.
She returned to the couch and pulled a blanket around her shoulder to ward off the chill. "So what now?"
"Let's go over your info again."
The former blonde, now brunette, sighed as she began to recite the story she'd been studying and reciting for weeks. "My name is Emily Dawson. I'm twenty nine years old, born and raised in Tulsa, Oklahoma and graduated from the University of Oklahoma."
Kelly smiled "Good. Now when people ask try not to stumble over your words but don't rattle them off like you're reciting it."
"Yeah, sure, that should be easy." She grew quiet for a bit and stared out the window "How are my parents?"
The dark haired woman shook her head "I don't know how Mr. and Mrs. Cabot are doing."
"Can you find out from someone? I mean I've been in the justice system long enough to know that cops will check in with a victim's family. I would think the Feds would do the same."
"Emily you know that you are not to seek out anything related to your old life."
At that she slid forward on the couch and stared hard at the other woman "I know that but they are my parents. My name might be Emily Dawson but James and Danielle Cabot are still my parents! Now it's not like I'm asking for a phone call or a visit I just want to know how they are."
Kelly sighed and ran her fingers through her hair, Hammond was right, this one was a pain in the ass. "Okay, no promises but I'll see what I can find out."
"Thank you."
Later that evening Emily was going through her closet looking for what she would wear her first day. She had purchased clothes that were appropriate for an office setting and a few things that would work for trips out, although there hadn't been many of those. She had only been out on her own twice, once for the interview and once to the grocery store. She and Kelly had walked to the park that was a few blocks from her house and while it wasn't Central Park it was a nice little space. She could see herself going there when the weather was nice and sitting on a bench reading a book or having a cup of coffee. As much as she hated to start seeing herself as becoming comfortable in her new town she was slowly admitting that this could be her home for the rest of her life.
While going through her nightly routine she stared into the mirror at how much she had changed in the past month. Her hair was now brown, she'd been a blonde all her life but she didn't look bad as a brunette she thought. She did look tired though and not the tired that she always looked from working long hours. This was a different tired. Her eyes showed the stress and worry she had been under for the last month or so, her skin was paler than the fair complexion she'd always had. She had also lost some weight and it was showing too, her appetite had left the same night she found out about the hit that had been put out on her. Emily picked up the bottle of lotion and began to gingerly rub lotion around her wound. She knew there was going to be a pretty good scar left but she was determined to make it as minimal as possible. She flicked the light off and crossed the room to her bed. She could hear Kelly moving around downstairs and wondered how she was going to handle being on her own again when the Marshal left in a few days. She reached out and turned the lamp down a bit. This was a new habit, sleeping with a light on. She was doing better though she was no longer sleeping with it on as bright as it would go. She hoped that eventually she would be able to sleep with it off.
As Emily lay in bed she listened for sounds of sirens, car horns, or just people out on the street, but that didn't happen here. Her little neighborhood was very quiet and she found it was another thing that affected her sleep. She was used to the sounds of a vibrant city filtering in all hours of the night. She tilted her head and looked at the alarm clock, it was only nine thirty. She decided to go downstairs and get some water then try to go to sleep again.
Kelly was sitting on the couch reviewing some papers when the brunette came down. She looked up and nodded "Alex."
"Hmm?"
"Nope." Kelly replied with a shake of her head.
"Fuck!"
"I know it's hard but you have to stop responding to Alex. As much as you don't want to hear it you are no longer Alex Cabot, you are Emily Dawson." She said following the brunette into the kitchen.
Emily swallowed a couple ibuprofen to ward off the growing headache then turned to go back upstairs. She stopped and looked Kelly in the eye as she passed. "I'm not sure who I am anymore."
The next morning Emily climbed into her used BMW and started toward her new job. To say she was nervous was an understatement and there was more than once that morning she considered calling and quitting before she even started. Then while standing in front of the mirror after her shower she heard her Dad's voice saying she was a Cabot not a quitter. Even though she broke into tears momentarily at the thought of her Dad she knew that she wasn't a quitter. Deep down she was still Alex Cabot and she was going to fight.
It was nearing lunchtime and while she was used to having tons of paperwork Emily was bored out of her mind. Her job mostly consisted processing payments and starting claims. She prayed that she would soon be able to work her way up to investigating fraudulent claims. She looked up when her boss knocked on her door.
"Hey Emily I'm ordering lunch is there anything you would like?"
"No Janet I brought something from home, but thank you."
The red haired woman stepped into the office and took a seat "How's it going so far?"
"Okay. I'm still getting used to everything."
"Well based on how quickly you've gotten through some of this paperwork you're a quick learner." She smiled.
"Thank you."
Emily was just finishing her lunch when Janet knocked on her door again "I'm sorry to bother you but you couldn't possibly do me a favor could you?"
"Sure."
"Could you possibly run my daughter's medicine down to the daycare? I forgot to send it with her and she's due a dose but I have to be on a conference call."
"I'd be glad to, besides I could handle stretching my legs a bit." She took the bottle and started toward the elevator.
Stepping off the elevator onto the fifth floor Emily smiled at the brightly painted walls that led to the daycare. Aside from the couple offices the daycare used and the small kitchen where they prepared the kids meals the daycare took up the rest of the fifth floor allowing the kids plenty of room to play. The sound of laughter met her as she turned the corner and looked through the several glass panels that lined the hall allowing her to see inside. For a brief moment she flashed back to the children she had encountered while working SVU, it was nice to see kids happy and carefree for once.
Emily opened the door, A Place to Grow painted in bright colors across it, and stepped inside. She was lost in her thoughts of watching a little boy and girl pretend to have a tea party when she was aware of someone approaching causing her to startle slightly.
"Can I help you?"
Emily looked to her left to see a blonde haired woman wearing a polo with the daycare's name on it. She had an olive complexion and kind brown eyes. Emily immediately felt herself begin to relax.
"Uh, yes. I'm Emily Dawson I work upstairs at the insurance office. My boss is Janet Greene she asked me to bring her daughter's medicine down for her." she said as she held the bottle out.
The other woman chuckled "Sophie is going to be so excited when I tell her I have her medicine. Like most kids she hates taking medicine."
"Lucky you." she laughed. "I better get back upstairs it's my first day, don't want to make a bad impression."
"I've met Mrs. Greene she's a nice lady, you'll be just fine with her as a boss. I'm new here as well. My name is Rachel."
Emily smiled "Mine's Emily, it's nice to meet you."
Rachel nodded again as she looked into bright blue eyes "It's nice to meet you too." She looked over when she caught sight of Sophie rushing past "Well, I better get moving. I have a three year old to do battle with."
Emily shook her head as she turned to go, 'Don't even think it Emily.' She thought to herself.
As Rachel chased Sophie down she looked through the glass and watched as the brunette made her way down the hall 'Get over it Rachel, a woman like that wouldn't give you a second glance.'
