Realizations come when the lighting flows across the sky

Part 4

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Disclaimer: Grey's Anatomy and other related characters/ideas are owned, ™ and © by The Mark Gordon Company and Shondaland Productions in association with Touchstone Television and ABC. No copyright infringement is intended. So, in conclusion: Don't sue.

AN: This is the un-beta-ed version of this chapter.

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It was just after midnight and Derek was singing loudly and off-key as he merged onto the highway. He had a long night off driving ahead of him. Richard had been rather accommodating about giving Derek the a few days off once he knew that it was for Addison.

This was the first time in a long time that Addison had asked him for something. It was his chance to prove to her that no matter what their marital status was that she would always be family and he would be there for her if she needed him. So, Derek had spent the last hour writing notes on his current patients so that the doctor covering for him would have no reason at all to call him back early.

It was just before 9am when Derek pulled into a gas station. As he filled up his gas tank, he leaned against his car and started to dial a familiar phone number.

"Hello?" a soft voice asked.

"Addison?" Derek asked with a smile.

"Derek. Hello," Addison replied.

"I just wanted to let you know that I should be arriving around 4pm," Derek said as he ran a hand nervously through his hair.

"Okay," Addison answered, "I'll see you then."

CLICK.

"I can't wait to see you. Bye," Derek whispered to the dial tone.

- - -

After one cup of coffee, two energy drinks, 3 candy bars, a gas station pre-packaged sandwich and many hours spent venting about the idiot driving habits of Americans as a whole, Derek finally pulled up in front of Addison's address. He had made very good time and had arrived more than an hour before the time he had told Addison. He was so tired that had driven the last two hours on sheer force of will.

The lack of sleep coupled with the daunting thought of seeing Addison again was giving Derek a light headed feeling. He tiredly rubbed his eyes. He took a moment to look at himself in the sun visor's mirror, giving himself a small pep talk about how he was not afraid to face his soon to be ex-wife. Noticing the disarray of his hair, he paused to smooth down his hair, giving up when he realized it was a lost cause. He stretched out his legs as he got out of the car. He cursed under his breath when he dropped his keys. He admitted to himself that he just a little bit nervous when he dropped his keys a second time.

After pausing to try and get some measure of calm back Derek arrived at Addison's door. Derek took a few shaky breaths before raising his hand to knock on the door. As he waited for the door to open he absently rubbed his bare ring finger on his left hand.

As the door slowly opened, a surprised Derek exclaimed, "Mom? What are you doing here?"

Megan Shepherd smiled when she saw her son, "Derek!"

"Addison asked me to stay with her until you arrived," She said after hugging him.

"Where is she?" Derek asked as he looked around the apartment.

"She went for a walk on the beach," Megan replied as she gestured, "We're only about three blocks from the beach. Just follow this sidewalk to the beach."

"Okay. Thanks, Mom," Derek replied as he turned to head out the door.

"Derek, before you go after her. Remember she needs her family's support, not anger and if you hurt her you will answer to me," Megan said with a soft smile while her eyes spoke volumes.

A confused Derek nodded before saying, "Okay, Mom."

- - -

Addison was on leave from the hospital for a few days. Telling Derek required a lot of courage on Addison part, knowing this her mother in law had asked her to call her when she was ready to tell Derek. Megan Shepherd knew just how impulsive and temperamental her son was. She hoped that by her being there that he wouldn't lash out at Addison too much. After a call to Mom and Dad Shepherd, Megan Shepherd had flown the day before.

Derek quickened his pace as he headed to the beach, thankful that the day had been a cloudy day. He adjusted his sunglasses as he looked around for a familiar red head. He smiled when he saw her sitting on some rocks, not too far away.

Even though Jared kept her busy most of the morning she still found plenty of time to worry about Derek's reaction to her news. It was now just after 2pm, and she had just put Jared down for his nap. She was a nervous wreck as she waited for Derek. When the anxious threatened to overwhelm her she asked her mother in law to stay with Jared. After thinking about what she needed to calm down she headed to her favorite spot on the beach.

Addison could finally found a measure of tranquility as she watched the waves crashing back and forth. After spending considerable time agonizing over what she had to tell Derek she forced herself to relax. Her eyes drifted shut as she turned her face into the win. A bird's piercing call made her open her eyes and there he was. His hair disheveled and his eyes unfocused as he looked at her, apparently lost in thought.

Still smiling, Derek paused a few feet away and just looked at ex-wife to be. Her face was turned into the wind, allowing the wind to tousle her loose hair. Her feet were hanging down the side of the rock, over the water. She was wearing sunglasses but Derek had a feeling that her eyes were closed as she enjoyed this quiet moment. Just by seeing her posture Derek could tell that Addison was also anxious about seeing him again. The butterflies in his stomach settled down a bit at that thought.

"Are you going to just stand there? Or are you going to give me a hug?" Addison asked with a laugh.

While Derek had been lost in thought, Addison had made her way down off the rocks and stopped in front him.

With a laugh Derek wrapped his arms around Addison, giving her a long and very tight hug. He pressed a soft kiss to her temple before he buried his nose in her hair. He smiled as he inhaled the faint scent that he always seems to associate with Addison. Derek was relieved that Addison's grip on him was just as tight as his grip on her was.

When they parted, Derek whispered, "I missed you, Addie," as he brushed some wind blown strands of hair off her forehead.

Derek after a moment's hesitation offered her his arm. Addison just looked at it for a moment before wrapping her hand around his arm. They fell into a comfortable silence as they walked back to Addison's apartment.

As they walked into the living room Addison asked "What do you want first, the good news or the bad news?"

"The good news," Derek decided after a moment's pause.

Addison whispered, "Congratulations, Daddy. It's a boy!"

"What?" Derek whispered as he stumbled backwards into the love seat.

"It was a parting gift from our last night together," Addison said as she sat down next to him. Smiling, she grabbed a photo album that was lying on the coffee table.

"I named him, Jared Montgomery-Shepherd. It was an easy birth. He weighed 6lbs and 2 ounces," She said. Opening it, she handed the photo album to Derek.

"I have a son," Derek whispered to himself. His eyes darkened as he realized something.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Derek yelled as he stood up to stand in front of Addison, "I missed everything!"

"Oh, yes. This is all about you," Addison shot back with a glare.

"Don't you think I would have wanted to be there for the pregnancy or at the very least the birth?" Derek yelled as started pacing in front of Addison, "Or to be there for his first smile?"

"Honestly? No," Addison replied as she got to her feet, "You're too self-centered to make time for anything other than your career. Would you have really moved down here and made the baby a priority in your life?"

Derek glared in reply as he realized that there was some truth in her words.

"I didn't think so," Addison said sadly before turning away from Derek.

Megan Shepherd had made her way to the living room and she was just in time to see a teary eyed Addison disappear into Jared's bedroom. She smiled faintly as she saw that a frowning Derek was staring moodily out the window.

"Go take a walk," Megan said as she rested a hand on her son's shoulder, "Come back when you're done with your temper tantrum."

"Mother," Derek started to say.

"You can't meet your son for the first time when you're acting like this," Megan said, "He deserves the best from you."

"Why didn't she tell me?" Derek whispered hurt, "Was it because I slept with Meredith?"

"You know better than that. Addison didn't tell you to be mean or petty. She did was she thought was best for the baby and on some level for you," Megan whispered back, "She wanted you to deal with your issues on your timetable not because of impending fatherhood."

"Would you really have been able to give Jared your best six months ago, to put his needs above your own?" Megan asked left her son alone with his thoughts.

Derek slammed the door behind him as he stalked outside. Lost in thought he just walked and before he knew it he was standing in a small park. Sinking down onto an empty bench, Derek's eyes drifted towards the playground. When Derek had finally let go off his anger, he made his way back to Addison's apartment.

Deep in thought Derek didn't noticed when the door opened softly after his rather timid knock.

"I didn't think you'd be back," Addison said as she held the door open for him.

Derek just shrugged as he slipped past her into the living room. He settling down onto the couch he reached for the previously discarded photo album.

"Are you ready to meet him?" Addison asked softly from the doorway.

Derek smiled, "Yes," He was staring down at a photo of a very pregnant Addison showing off her belly, when he heard a voice call his name. When Derek looked up, he saw Addison standing in the doorway holding a baby.

Derek's breath caught in his throat as he slowly made his way over to his son.

"Jared, this is your Daddy," Addison said quietly, "Derek, this is Jared. Do you want to hold him?"

Derek just nodded in response before allowing Addison to place Jared in his waiting arms. It was literally love at first sight for Derek; he never thought he could love anyone so instantly. Derek had so many emotions running through his head as he gazed into his son's green-blue eyes all he could do was trace his son's features reverently.

"My boy," Derek whispered as he pressed a kiss to Jared's dark curls, "I have a son."

Meeting Addison's eyes he whispered in an awed tone, "We have a son, Addie."

"Yes, we do," Addison laughed as she watched Derek count Jared's fingers and toes.

Derek spent the next few hours just getting to know his son, his eyes rarely straying from his son.

Addison smiled as she watched Derek try to wash their playful son. She laughed out loud as Jared splashed his father. It was a great weight of her shoulder's that Derek had taken the news of his fatherhood so well. She had expected yelling, lots of yelling. She was certain that she had seen tears in Derek's eyes when he had first taken Jared in his arms.

"He has your eyes," Derek observed as he smiled down into his son's eyes as he gave Jared his bottle, he lovingly kisses his son's fingers when they grabbed for his son.

"He had your hair," Addison commented back as she ran her fingers over Jared's hair.

"I always imaged our first child as a little girl with your red curls and my blue eyes," Derek said as he glanced at Addison, "Thank you for telling me. I realize I lost the right to know anything about your life when you left Seattle."

Addison smiled her eyes unreadable.

Later when Jared had been put down for the night that Derek remembered that Addison had mentioned bad news as well. He waited until his mother made up an excuse about picking up some food before he broached the subject with Addison.

"What's the bad news, Addie?" Derek asked as he led her over to sit down on the couch.

As they sat down, Addison avoided Derek's intense eyes.

Derek knelt down in front of her, forcing chin up so that he could look into her eyes, "Addie?"

Taking a deep breath, she reached up to move her hair to the side, turning her head so that Derek could see the side of her neck.

Derek's eyes widened as he saw a small lump on the side of her neck.

"No," he whispered as his fingers reached out to run over the lump. Speechless he moved to sit down next to her.

"Its Alveolar soft part sarcoma," Addison whispered with tears in her eyes, "I have a surgery scheduled for Monday in Boston. Will you come with me?"