/Edit 5-22-06/ o0O THREE EXTRA PAGES ADDED! O0o I added an Omake part 2 to the end, everyone! Whoopy!
I'm a T.A. for a freshman English class, and I have nothing to do. So, what do I do? I write kakairu. How awesome is the fact that I'm surrounded by English teachers, little freshman, and two other seniors, while writing fluffporn? So cool. You have no idea. But I've decided to give you Fluffy Protest No. 4.
If this little wide eyed freshman beside me knew I was writing gay Kakairu and sasunaru fan fiction… I wonder what she would do? Maybe she would stop asking me questions and giggling when I answer? Maybe she would just fear me? Or possibly she would malfunction and freak out before spreading rumors about me.
Kids. Aha, they're fun. (throws crap at the freshmen between scenes)
Internet Perditions, part four
Kiba sighed and looked around himself, noting the buzzing of the fluorescent lights above were just sonic enough to aggravate his ears. He followed the aisles, all the while plotting vehement ways to turn the obnoxious lights off. The sound of electronics buzzing mixed with the lights in a harmonious nails on chalkboard serenade. Sometimes, he really despised having extra sensitive qualities. Only sometimes though.
Another noise blasted above the sonic buzzing of the lights and methodic humming of electronics. Bugs.
He looked around for Shino, spotting the infested boy finally a few aisles down the row of speakers, ipods, and computers. Present task instantly forgotten, he zig zagged his way to Shino's side jubilantly. "Hey, what's up?"
"Hm? Nothing." Shino murmured, one hand reaching up to run a light fingertip across a laptop mouse pad, the screen jerking to life. "You?"
Kiba shook his head. "Nodda. I was looking at new flash drives because Akamaru ate my last one." he explained grumpily, eyes flitting outside where the dog was currently tied to a tree, napping.
"Hm. I believe they're over there."
"Yeah, I got it, I got it… are you looking for a new laptop?" he motioned at the Toshiba computer, brightly displaying an obnoxiously fake background photo of the Hokage mountain.
"Yeah." Shino stated simply. "Help me find a good one?" he grunted, eyes glancing to Kiba curiously, but always hidden behind the round dark sunglasses.
"Sure, I suppose." Kiba glanced at the laptop in front of Shino currently. "That looks like a pretty nice one. Wide screen, extra buttons for movies…"
"Hn. I thought so, too. I don't really watch a lot of movies though." He muttered, a bug crawling from his sleeve across the keyboard and beneath a key.
"Uhh… what's-uh…what's it doing?"
"Hooking up the phone line so I can see if it has a good internet connection." Shino put his fingers to the keyboard and several other bugs filtered out meticulously, sliding beneath the keys and into the disc drive.
"That's… weird." Kiba didn't receive an answer, for the screen flitted sideway before snapping on again. Shino's fingers danced across the keys and an internet box popped up instantly.
"Hm. That's nice." The mysterious boy talked mostly to himself, but Kiba listened anyway.
"Let's look around!"
"At what?"
"I don't have internet! Let's find cool stuff!"
"… I know a Myspace that has funny pictures."
o0O0o
Iruka settled into his desk with a contented sigh. The children had all scampered out the room with hoots and hollers for being allowed to leave a total of forty-five seconds before the bell rang. Though Iruka knew it wasn't a momentous occasion, he still enjoyed their faces when being granted such a privilege as leaving school early.
He picked up his coffee cup and glanced inside at the stale yet still warm liquid. Through out the day it had been heated up three times, and he was yet to completely finish it. Maybe those extra forty-five seconds had really been for him, so rest would come sooner than forty-five seconds later.
"You've got mail!"
Iruka despised that cheery voice. He didn't need his private matters blared throughout the classroom speakers, and he especially did not want it in a happy 'the world is full of flowers and candy' voice.
The mail box jumped open on command, and the loading window didn't seem to stop loading all the emails.
ramenluver.at.shinobiline .org (Naruto) Sub: Lunch?
teachingsupplies.at.shinobiweapons .com (Shinobi Weapons) Sub: Iruka-sensei! Your 37quantity #2 type semi-hazardous traps are
SPRINGTIMEOFYOUTH.at.shinobiline .org (Gai-sensei) Sub: HELLO IRUKA-SENSEI! ARE YOU INTERESTED IN REFEREEING FOR ME AND MY ETERNAL RIVAL ON SATURDAY?
icha.icha.paradise.at.ichaichaparadise .com (The Pervert) Sub: Saturday lunch? All day?
Senbon.at.shinobiline .org (Genma-san) Sub: If Kakashi emails you, say NO.
Raidoh.at.shinobiline .org (Raidoh) Sub: If Genma emails you, tell him that he's not allowed to ref on Saturday at all.
med.nin.gurl.at.shinobiline .org (Sakura-chan) Sub: OMG I THINK THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH NARUTO. HE DIDN'T FINISH HIS...
icha.icha.paradise.at.ichaichaparadise .com (The Pervert) Sub: Hey, Sakura emailed me and said Naruto didn't finish a bowl of free Ramen. Should I send him...
Kino.at.freemail .com (unknown user) Sub: HAHA! Iruka-sensei's been naughty!
Iruka stared at the subject of the last email for a while, re-reading the message in his mind and mulling the words over. He didn't know any Kino, and he certainly didn't like the fact that it was an unknown user. Then again, the subject proved that at least he was somehow acquainted with this person. He double clicked on the email, unprepared.
"Uwaaaah!"
The poor teacher could only stare in horror and violation, stomach crawling and spine tingling. Had there been anyone in or near the classroom, Iruka would have contained himself. Seeing as how most of the school was zipping off campus at Mach 5 speeds, he was very much ignored by the rest of the academy at the moment.
"$!&$!" He smashed the mouse to the reply button, missing and instead hitting the send button. There came a series of curses directed at the computer for disobeying his will and instead listening to his fingers. On the second attempt he got into the reply window, burning eyes scorning his old class comp. He violently attacked the keyboard in a series of semi-coherent angry half-sentences.
NOT FUNNY. AT ALL. DISGUSTING IS WHAT IT IS! I AM VERY VERY DISAPPOINTED IN YOU. I DON'T EVER WANT TO SEE SOMETHING LIKE THIS FROM YOU EVER AGAIN. NOT LAUGHING. PISSED OFF. DON'T DO IT AGAIN.
He hit the send button, growling beneath his breath and hoping that by sounding as if he knew who the person was, they would maybe apologize in reply. Then he could really ream which ever little student fessed up to the crime.
He exited the computer entirely, to angry to deal with any of the drama the rest of the emails seemed to be talking about. Packing his briefcase and returning weapons to designated areas around the room, he de-booby trapped his door from one of Konohamaru's stink bombs and left in a huff.
On his way past Sasuke's long driveway, he thought of Naruto, and the emails from Kakashi and Sakura stating he hadn't eaten his Ramen. Though as serious as the case may be, it wasn't the lack of ramen eating that worried him. It was the reason for the lack of ramen eating.
Without second thoughts, he turned sharply and walked down the gravel road to the Uchiha residence, hoping one or the other would at least be home to talk to him.
Sasuke answered the door, peaking out dully to see who dare bother his mid-day nap. "Iruka-sensei…" he pushed the door open and gave a half-assed bow. "It must be important." he noted, covering any sleepy qualities with the usual mystery.
"Sort of." Iruka kicked his shoes off in the entrance hall when Sasuke stepped aside to let him in. "Is Naruto home?"
The slowly moving boy shook his head, the motion making his bangs flop back and forth lifelessly. "I believe he said something about being forced to see Tsunade. Sakura wouldn't tell me why." There was an awkward pause before the dark haired boy yawned, unable to muffle it. "Something about ramen… and… flowers… I don't know." he turned around and walked towards the living room, Iruka following out of habit. "What's up?" he asked casually, flopping down on the couch and turning over a clean cup from the tea table in between them.
Iruka leaned forward to accept the cup, then motioned to the computer room he knew existed upstairs beside the bedroom. "I got an interesting email today at work. It was… a hand drawn picture. Lewd and indecent. I thought Naruto may have seen it and that was his reason for not finishing a free bowl of Ramen. It may be a stretch though."
A single graceful eyebrow rose on the pale face. "Ah… that was what she was babbling about. A lewd and indecent picture? Ino had shown him some sort of picture. I believe it was of me and Sakura though. Is that what you saw?"
Iruka frowned, perturbed at the thought, but shaking his head to answer the question. "No… it was of… Naruto and I." His cheeks tinted pink, so he hid behind the tea cup as best he could. "I sent an email in reply, but I doubt I'll get anything back. It was from one of my students, I believe. The email addressed me as sensei."
Sasuke tilted his head lazily to one side, considering. "Everyone calls you sensei though. Even Kakashi-sensei. And Genma-san. Doesn't necessarily mean it was from a student."
Iruka scowled, "You're right. That just broadened the suspects, didn't it? Well, there was also a picture of Kakashi and Sakura that Tsunade found. She called him to her office to discuss it. He came home in a pissy mood, too. So... three pictures?"
"Four." Sasuke corrected quickly. "Shikamaru found one while he was surfing the net of Naruto and Hinata and thought it would be funny to make me mad." he explained darkly.
Iruka's lips pursed and he leaned back, hands clasping behind his head as he examined the ceiling. "You realize what this means, Sasuke?"
The boy didn't need to be asked twice. "Someone's gonna die."
Iruka stared at the light fixture flatly, wondering vaguely where he went wrong in his teachings. "No. It means someone's going to be in trouble. You're too violent."
"Sorry."
"S'okay."
There was a long silence as the two stared off in their own directions, lost in thought and to perturbed to think. "He's really asking for it though." Sasuke murmured in finality.
Iruka was getting to the same level of aggravation just thinking about it. "I believe we need to have a meeting."
oO Sorry this took so long.
Next chapter! The meeting!
-Aia
Omake!
Iruka tossed his briefcase onto the couch, watching it thud right onto the floor. He took a moment and looked around the apartment only once before tilting his head back and bellowing provocatively, "I BOUGHT YOU AN ICHA ICHA!"
Within seconds, there was a pop and fizzle. Kakashi stood naked and dripping wet, wide disbelieving eyes regarding his lover. "You what!"
"Actually, I need to talk to you about something."
The half showered and middle-of-shampooing man glared darkly and disappeared again in a pop.
Iruka trudged down the hall undaunted and into the bathroom.
"You know that picture that Tsunade brought you in about? Well guess what I just got in an email." He planted hands to hips, assuming the 'teachers gonna scare you to death in about two seconds' look.
Kakashi's foamy head popped from around the curtain, "Don't tell me it's circulating in emails now! That hag is going to DIE!"
Iruka waved a dismissive hand. "No, no. A different picture. By an anonymous source. It's of Naruto and I. Lewd and indecent." He snarled, staring at his reflection in the mirror and suppressing a shiver at the thought.
"Oh yeah? What were you two doing in it?" Kakashi wondered, generally just curious but earning a warning glare anyway.
"It depicted me... never mind. Just-no. Shut up." he turned to leave, but hung in a second longer. "We are going to have a meeting. Because this is going too far. Naruto and Sasuke both got one, too. I don't know what's happening in this village, but they just screwed with the wrong person." An evil smile passed Iruka's lips.
And Kakashi feared for the perpetrators sanity once his beloved was done with the would be artist.
I added that in two minutes. Because we needed some kakairu goodness. Sorry about the lack of fluff.Okay, upon answering everyone's wonderful reviews, I saw a bit of confusion as to who Kino was/is, so, I give you…
OMAKE PART 2!
(set directly after Shino shows Kiba the myspace with the eeevil pictures)
"Aha! That's hilarious! We should send that picture of Iruka and Naruto to Iruka-sensei and see what he does!" Kiba delightedly took over the controls to the laptop, double clicking the picture and saving it to the My Pictures.
Shino's slender eyebrows raised above his sunglasses. "This isn't even my computer yet, we're still in the store."
Kiba waved off the petty hesitance. "Bah, no biggy. Oh! I bet I can get Iruka's address from the Academy website! Ahaha! This is great!"
The boy behind him watched idly, unsure as to whether his friend's evil plan was genius or crazy. It was a fine line between the two after all. Though, in what honesty he allowed into his mind, Shino enjoyed a good prank when the opportunity presented itself. There had been the time in fourth grade when he put a bug in Ino's lunch just to see her and Sakura scream and make a mess of the girls' table. It had been a victorious day for bugs and their kind.
"Got it!" Kiba's obnoxious whoop snapped Shino's train of thought.
"…How do you plan on sending it to him? I'm not using my email."
The dog boy looked put out for only a moment. "Hmph. Hey, lets make one of those free email account things!" he eagerly opened a third window, searching 'free email' into Guggle. Upon finding a free email service, he opened a new account. "What should the name be?"
Shino shrugged.
Kiba glared.
"What?"
"You're no help."
"I don't care."
"Hn." Kiba turned back to the screen and picked out his letters carefully from the forty or so other buttons that littered the keyboard in front of him. "I'll put our names together! Shiba?"
Shino stared off to the side a moment, then tilted his head back to his haphazard partner in crime. "I think that's a Hindu god."
"Really? Huh. How bout… Kino?"
"Isn't that a game?"
"Shut up, I'm using it." Kiba snapped good naturedly, proceeding to fill out the form required.
Email address: Kino.at.freemail .com
Name: Kino
Address: 666 Prankstah Wayz
Pranksville, Leaf Village, Fire Country
66666
Would you like to receive free adds in your email? If yes, check the box below!
"No way, be-otch!"
Password: heyhotty
"That's a stupid password."
"Shut up, it's not like we'll ever use this again anyway."
Would you like to upgrade your account for only $1.99?
"Why the hell would I pay for a free email service?"
Thank you for using Freemail for your email service plan! Please continue to your mailbox!
Kiba grinned ruthlessly and copy/pasted Iruka's email address into a waiting open email. He dragged the picture in and made a quick subtitle. There wasn't enough jacket to hold in Kiba's bouncing excitement. "This is so awesome, maybe we should go watch him open it."
Shino scoffed, "He lives with Sharingan Kakashi. If you want to die, you go right over and peak into Iruka's bedroom window." he murmured coolly, staring down an employee that looked to be questioning their motives on the displayed laptop.
Kiba solemnly agreed and removed his previous wish. "Yeah, maybe that's not such a good idea. –We should get out of here, we're getting dirty looks from people."
Shino scowled from behind his high jacket collar. "I came here to buy a laptop!"
Kiba grinned wolfishly, "And I came here to buy a flashdrive. How bout we skip the technology crap for now and we go get lunch?"
Shino parted his lips to speak, but closed his jaw tightly to think. "Hn. Fine. But you're buying."
Kiba shut the lid of the computer and smirked, "Maybe. I bet by the end of lunch I can get you to pay for it.
"Yeah right." Shino muttered, waiting for Kiba to untie Akamaru from beneath a shady tree. Then again, the stupid dog had a way with wheedling Shino out of his money. Kiba, not Akamaru. Kiba could always get money from him one way or another.
Smashing hips with Shino playfully, Kiba started walking without him towards their favorite and cheap eating joint. "I'm hungry, lets go!" He prodded unnecessarily.
Moments later, Akamaru could have sworn the bug-boy had muttered something about eating dogs. Akamaru would never repeat the words though. There was no need for more perverted thoughts going through his master's mind.
Was that pointless? I don't know. I felt like you all deserved more because of all the wonderful reviews I've been getting. Thank you all! (glomp)
