More~
Clashshipping, angst.
I spent a hella lot of effort looking for direct quotes here. I'm oddly proud of them. Though I apologise if this seems a bit like a run-through of ep 128 onwards. *Sigh*
All characters (c) Kazuki Takahashi
Chapter Four
Joey was falling, falling down.
"Joey has five seconds to rise," Roland said dubiously, looking at his employer for guidance. Kaiba remained silent. Yugi and his friends exhorted Joey to get up, tried to rush onto the duelling platform to assist him, but Kaiba's men restrained them. "The duel is now over."
"My brother!" Serenity cried, hands to her mouth and tears in her eyes.
The holograms of the monsters dissipated and the Shadows retreated. Immediately Yugi's friends ran to their fallen classmate.
Yami stood stock still for a few moments, staring at Marik. Marik stared right back, and although he grinned from the victory, his eyes were serious and sad. See, Pharaoh? They seemed to say. This is who I am.
Tristan was cursing Marik, trying to get near enough to land a blow, but luckily Duke and Tea held onto him. Yami was grateful for this as he woodenly walked to stand beside his kneeling friends. He of all people knew how strong Marik was, and Tristan didn't deserve to get knocked out. He dimly heard Mokuba trying to persuade his brother to send for a medical team from the mainland, but Kaiba would not be moved. He insisted that the team he had on board the blimp was the best in the world. Naturally.
Serenity wept hysterically as she shook her brother's shoulders, valiantly but vainly trying to wake him from his apparent coma.
Yami understood what had happened, and he couldn't stop staring at Marik. Those damn ShadowGames. The pulse attached to Joey's life-force had connected him to his monsters, and when they lost life points, Joey lost life-energy. And he was on zero life-points, by the looks of it with just barely enough energy to keep breathing.
He wanted to get on his knees, hold Joey like Serenity was, demand that Marik reverse the effects, scream at Kaiba until that medical team got here, but all he could do was stare. He wasn't even sure of what he was feeling, be it guilt or horror or loathing or shame, and all he could do was stare. Like some sort of idiot.
And an idiot I am, he thought grimly. Marik, how could you? I thought I knew you. I thought you wouldn't do this, not after everything that's happened between us. He hid his thoughts from Yugi, however, and said nothing as Yugi wept through their soul link.
Marik said something about being close to world domination, and Yami performed his part as his friends expected him to, though if anyone had cared to look at his face they would have seen Yami's inner turmoil. Only Marik, however, was looking. Of course. Marik was the only one who had ever really looked at Yami, and their faces wore the same expression. Kaiba gloatingly announced that he would beat Marik in the finals, and through his haze of shock Yami heard Marik defend him, pay him a compliment in typically-oblique fashion.
"Well, you have it all figured out. But perhaps you should focus on getting past the next round first."
Everything around him seemed abstract and dull, like he was numb, and although Marik's compliment made him feel momentarily better, his confusion returned quickly. Kaiba's team arrived and hauled Joey away on a stretcher, followed by his litter of friends.
Roland announced that Kaiba and Yami would duel next, and Yami persuaded Kaiba to give him time to see slowly walked down to the blimp, world in a haze. He knew he had to duel Kaiba soon, but he wanted to make sure Joey was alright first.
Throughout the entirety of Marik and Joey's duel, Yami had been so conflicted it hurt to watch. He didn't want Joey hurt, though in his heart he knew Joey had no choice but to lose. Until he had survived the Winged Dragon of Ra's attack and there had been the chance to defeat Marik, take the ultimate choice away from Yami, but Joey had collapsed before he could call Gearfried's attack. Yami had wanted to laugh in relief that Marik was still there, that they still had some previous time together, and yet weep that Joey was fallen and most likely taken by those infernal Shadows that Marik insisted on summoning in his duels. He had known, the previous night when he and Marik had held each other and promised not to pretend anymore, that it would be hard to watch Joey or Kaiba going up against Marik, but he hadn't realised just how difficult it would be to contain his inner struggle between wanting his lover to survive and wanting his friends to be safe.
He had executed his performance as expected, cheering Joey on in his moments – and there had been many – of weakness, but all the while he had been staring at Marik, hoping that this moment wasn't the last he would have to absorb Marik's features or hear his voice. He remembered thinking, Gods, just a little more time, please, each time Joey had looked like he would best Marik, and praying for Joey's safety with every blow Marik struck against him, beating down his life-points.
Serenity and Tea huddled by Joey's bedside in the medical wing of the blimp while Yami, Tristan and Duke stood awkwardly. Yami stared fixedly at Joey's unmoving form, trying to tear himself into the present, trying to stop thinking about Marik while Serenity's sobs filled the room, accompanied by the baffled murmurings of the doctor.
Ishizu and Mokuba arrived and left, though Yami barely noticed. His emotions, kept under tight concealment lest his friends think him a traitor, swung between shock and rage at Joey's condition, and relief that Marik was still alive and wandering about. Do the gods truly wish for me to be unhappy? He wondered, knowing it was selfish with Joey lying there, but unable to stop himself. Is this some sort of punishment, giving me a lover who I must destroy? All I want is to be with Marik, but his actions prove I cannot let him continue to cause damage to my friends and to the world. What am I supposed to do? I can't bear this!
Yugi wept and knelt at Joey's bedside, translucent, visible only to Yami.
"I should have faced Marik!"
Yami could only weakly protest, engrossed in his own personal pain.
"I knew that duel was too dangerous, and I should have stopped it! Now it's too late. Marik is pure evil! First he got Mai, and then Bakura, and now this. It's not fair. Maybe we should stop fighting, it just seems to make things worse. I can't take it anymore!"
Yami tried to soothe his distraught young friend, speaking the empty words expected of him that tore at his heart like knives, briefly taking off the duel disk to rest his wrist, sore and cramped from carrying it for so long without respite. Taking it off at night helped, but when you wore it every day… and today had been a very long day. And he still had the duel with Kaiba to get through before he could lie down and rest… rest in Marik's arms—but no. He shouldn't want to see Marik at all after what he had done to Joey!
Yugi, of course, mistook his heightened emotions for rage over Joey's condition. He truly did not understand the spirit that lived within his Puzzle.
The vision from Ishizu's Millennium Necklace only made him more conflicted – if it was correct, and Joey woke up from his coma "after all that was done with", what did that mean for Marik? He tried not to feel the pain Yugi's seething thoughts caused him.
Through a dizzied haze of confusion and exhaustion, Yami duelled against Kaiba and won, though it was without a doubt his toughest victory yet, made bitter by the knowledge that in his next duel, he would face Marik. And he would have to decide what to do: protect his lover – who was changing for the better, Yami knew he was, if he could just have a little more time – or kill off that future, kill Marik, to save the world.
The decision would stretch him to his very limits, he knew that. Seeking some stillness in himself, later that night in the darkness of the witching hour, Yami made his way to Joey's bedside, obscurely comforted by the soft bleeps of the medical equipment and the steady rise and fall of Joey's chest. His mind drifted into wordless repose, floating away from the issues and worries that plagued him. He just watched Joey breathe with an vague kind of relief. Yugi did not ask for control of his body back and rested too, sleeping in his soul room. Ashamed as it made him feel, Yami was glad Yugi was asleep. Yugi's vengeful thoughts had been too strong to block out, and Yami had hated how coldly he had to react to them so as not to arouse suspicion. It was good not to have to think.
"So this is where you are, Pharaoh."
Yami didn't register the voice for a good few minutes. Slowly it pervaded his consciousness and he turned to see Marik, limned in moonlight and the gentle green glow of the equipment, leaning against the wall and watching Yami, expression grave and melancholy.
"Where else could I be?" Yami asked hoarsely, voice ragged from overuse that day.
Marik gave a tiny smile. "With me. In my arms, in my bed."
Yami scowled, pushing aside the longing those simple words had stirred in him. He gestured shakily to the supine Joey. "After what you did? Really?"
"Yes, really," Marik said softly, looking just a little hurt. "One way or another, this is our last night together, my Pharaoh. Do you really want to spend it beside little Joey, throwing insults like children, when we could be doing something much better?"
Yami looked away, shamed and too tired to want to think, to feel. But at that moment, his feelings were the most pressing things his mind could register. And they hurt. "I shouldn't go with you," Yami whispered, closing his eyes and turning back to Joey. "My friend is comatose because of you. Yet another one!"
Marik frowned, though of course Yami couldn't see it. "Come away, Pharaoh. You'll just make yourself upset."
Yami lurched up and tried to punch Marik in sudden unbearable anger, though being so exhausted he naturally missed. He stumbled and would have fallen, but Marik's strong arms caught and hauled him upright, cradled into Marik's chest.
"Careful, Pharaoh," Marik said softly, almost gently. "You'll hurt yourself."
For a few moments Yami was content to be held, getting his breath back and feeling his legs shake from sheer fatigue. To be held like this, so securely, so safely, was what he had been craving all day. But with Joey there as reminder of all the wrong Marik had done, it was impossible for Yami to be at ease for long.
He pushed away to stand on his own, though he braced a hand on the wall.
"I know you're angry," Marik said in a low voice, eyes steady on Yami's face, the picture of composure. "And I know you're upset, and tired. But do you really want to spend our last night together full of bitterness and regret?"
Yami shook his head, utterly defeated.
"Well then. Are you coming?" Marik gestured to the general direction of Yami's room, the closest to the medical wing. Yami hesitated, looking back at Joey.
"If Joey remembers any of this when he wakes up, I am so screwed," Yami mumbled and set off after Marik, trailing one hand on the wall for balance. He moved in a fugue of weariness, barely aware of anything but Marik beside him and the route they took. He couldn't remember the exact moment Marik's supporting arm came around his waist, or when he ceased to walk and was more carried, legs dragging on the floor and head bobbing as he threatened to sleep where he stood.
He only became aware again when Marik sat himself down on Yami's bed, cradling Yami on his lap and stroking his blonde fringe out of his eyes. He blinked drowsily up at Marik, resigned and defeated.
"Why did you have to use the Shadows, Marik?" He mumbled, one hand unsteadily rising to cup Marik's cheek. "Why was it necessary?"
Marik kept stroking and didn't answer for a long time. "It is how I exist, how I duel," he said eventually, his rhythmic stroking almost sending Yami to sleep it was so soothing. "I know of no other way."
Yami melted into his touch, eyelids drooping as he dozed for a few moments. He was exhausted from the day's events. First of all had been the Four-Way Duel, the first of its kind Yami had ever done. He had duelled against multiple opponents, of course, but usually as a team member. Like with – with Joey, against Para and Dox during Duellist Kingdom. Or with Kaiba against Malik's Rare Hunters. But never before had he needed to duel three other people simultaneously, one his friend and the other his secret lover. The sheer amount of mental agility needed to battle three others, keeping all their possible strategies in mind, all their possible moves and what they had in their hand, Graveyard and deck, on top of the emotional strain of concealing how he really felt, had been almost too much to bear. Never mind his natural urges to protect Joey and take Marik's hits himself. It had been exhausting on its own, with the added worry that Joey would then duel Marik.
Then during Joey and Marik's duel… he thought he might have lost weight just from the heart-breaking stress of watching them, unsure who he wanted to win, knowing what was at stake.
And his duel with Kaiba… each time he faced Kaiba his victory got narrower and narrower, his lead shorter, his strategies less effective. Kaiba was a ruthless opponent who, if he saw an opportunity, would take it with both hands and strike while his challenger was stunned. Although Yami was still reeling from Joey's condition, Kaiba had been merciless, giving no quarter and accepting no excuse. Yami's distracted mind had been stretched to its utmost to beat him.
Belatedly Yami realised he hadn't had anything to eat or drink for hours, all day in fact. That would probably account for at least some of his lethargy.
He dimly felt Marik's hand cup the back of his neck and turn his head to rest on Marik's shoulder, his hand still stroking Yami's forehead. Yami let him, too weak and overcome with anguished desire to protest. He wanted this, so badly… His arms looped themselves around Marik's neck and he fell asleep, dreaming of a time where he and Marik were together without consequence, where his friends were safe, where the sun was hot and the wind dry, ghosting half-recalled smells of ancient Egypt over his dreams.
He awoke when he was gently placed down on the bed, alone. He raised his head and blinked in confusion; what was happening? Why was Marik leaving?
But he was soon reassured; Marik had gone into his bathroom and from the sound of it was using the toilet.
For some reason it amused Yami that Marik, a being born of hate and pain brought to flesh by accident, had to answer the call of nature like anyone else. He smiled and sat up properly, a little refreshed from his – for want of a better word, though he winced inwardly – nap. He looked at the bedside clock and saw that precious hours had been wasted with him asleep. They had so little time left together.
Yami determinedly rubbed the gummy tiredness from his eyes and silently stripped himself. He laid his clothes in a neat pile on the floor and sat waiting, breath coming just a little bit faster. When Marik emerged, Yami couldn't see his face for the light at his back, but he heard Marik's startled laugh.
"I see you've woken up, Pharaoh," he chuckled, coming closer to sit next to Yami on the bed, one arm siding around Yami's narrow hips.
"I'm sorry for wasting our time dreaming," Yami mumbled, leaning closer with one hand splayed on Marik's chest.
"You were tired," Marik said generously, pulling Yami closer. "I still got to have you in my arms, in any case."
"Have me in your arms again," Yami whispered, a blush glowing across his cheeks. No pretending. "Have me one last time."
"Yes, my Pharaoh," Marik whispered back, an acknowledgement of command that made the already-dizzy Yami breathless as Marik leaned in to kiss him slowly, tenderly.
Marik's clothes dropped away from him under both their efforts and Yami lay back, pulling Marik over him and spreading his legs wide, hooking his feet around Marik's waist. Marik murmured sweet things in his ear as he slowly, carefully, pushed into Yami, arms tight around him.
As they rocked in a unhurried rhythm, relishing each blissful moment of contact, their hands and mouths explored each other for what they knew was the very last time. Marik kissed Yami's neck while Yami ran his hands down Marik's back, not to try and decipher the hieroglyphs like he had yearned to do before but to feel Marik's warm body against his palms. They breathed each other's names and little guttural sounds of pleasure and desire into the heavy air. Marik rained soft, tender kisses on every centimetre of Yami's skin he could reach and Yami clung to him tightly, hands wandering with feather-light touches that made Marik want him even more while his inner muscles tried to take Marik yet further into himself.
The pent-up desire and bittersweet longing built and built, bringing them closer to climax with each movement of their hands and hips. As Yami's breath grew ragged and little moans of lust escaped his throat, Marik smiled and wrapped his fingers around Yami's length, squeezing gently even as he thrust. Yami's back arched and he bucked against the contact, craving more.
"Marik," he moaned, gritting his teeth.
"I know," Marik said soothingly, stroking gently and hitting the sweet spot deep inside Yami, firmly telling himself not to let go too soon. "I know, Pharaoh, you can't take it much longer. Shh, you'll get your release soon…"
Yami groaned, hands fisting in Marik's hair and head dropping into the crook between Marik's shoulder and neck, breath hot and wet on his skin. Marik stroked his fingertip along Yami's slit and he gasped, the pressure building unbearably. Marik suddenly kissed him hard, tongue plunging between Yami's lips as he came, his hot seed jetting deep into Yami's body. Yami kissed him back just as passionately, every muscle in his body contracting as he too released.
For a few seconds they merely trembled and held each other while sweat dried on their skin. But soon they were kissing again, hands moving to cup and caress each other's flesh, trying to get the most out of every last second they had together, for dawn was racing up on them and their time was running out.
They were laying in a tight embrace when dawn's first rays broke through the window and struck their naked skin. Both took a moment to admire the other in solemn appreciation.
"It's time, Pharaoh," Marik said softly, holding him tightly.
"No," Yami whispered in a broken voice, frantically stroking his hands over Marik's face, looking into his eyes.
"I don't want this to end either," Marik sighed, hands warm on Yami's back and hip. But it must. The unspoken words were loud in the room.
Marik reluctantly got up, cupping Yami's chin in one hand and smilingly gently down at him. "Pharaoh, this time we've had together… it's been the best of my existence."
Yami choked back a sob and nodded, knowing Marik knew what he wanted to say back. He rubbed his cheek against Marik's hand, rising up slightly on his knees to get closer.
Marik sighed absently as he watched Yami's body bathed in the pale dawn light, bedsheets falling down around his knees. "My dear Pharaoh."
"What if we didn't duel?" Yami said, grabbing Marik's hand. "What if we – if we – if we ran away, didn't duel against each other ever, would that stop the decision? Would it delay it indefinitely?"
Marik gave a sad smile. "That's not how destiny works, my Pharaoh, and you know it. But I wish that it were otherwise with all my being."
Yami kissed his palm, looking up at him with those wide, sad eyes. "I don't want to lose you," he whispered.
Marik bent and hugged Yami hard, burying his face into Yami's shoulder. Yami hugged him back just as tightly, arms wound around his waist as if he would never let go. His body trembled and Marik tried to soothe him, stroking his back reassuringly and murmuring fondly into his ear.
"You complete me," Yami mumbled in a heartbroken voice.
"And you fulfil me," Marik returned, stroking his hand through Yami's strange hair one last time before pulling away to dress himself. Yami watched, nude and despondent, from the bed, eyes wide as he drank in the sight of Marik in his bare magnificence, covered up after all too soon. Marik paused at the door and looked back.
Yami opened his mouth to say something, something so small and yet so huge, three little words that shimmered in his eyes. Marik was at the bed in a single stride, his thumb gently closing Yami's lips, forestalling the words that were on his tongue.
"Don't say it," Marik said brokenly. "I don't want to hear it hours before one of our deaths. That would be too cruel."
"B-But you feel the same, don't you?"
"Yes," Marik whispered, eyes tortured as he drank in Yami's face. Yami's lip trembled and Marik couldn't stand it any longer; he cupped Yami's face in his hands and kissed him for the very, very last time.
It was sad from the knowledge that soon one would be as good as dead, and a lament that they had had so little time to discover each other. It was filled with if onlys and regrets that they had let their precious time together melt away until it was almost too late. But it was also joyful. They had found each other, found excitement and lust and sweet longing, found acceptance and completion with each other. It didn't matter that Marik had done unspeakable things; all they wanted was to be with the other, the one person who understood them better than they could themselves.
Bittersweet. That is the word for their final kiss.
Tears ran down Yami's face and Marik ever so tenderly wiped them away, kissing his fingertips with his eyes boring into Yami's.
"Goodbye, my Pharaoh."
"Goodbye, my Tombkeeper."
Marik turned away and closed the door behind himself, leaving Yami to weep alone in the dawn light.
...I probably shouldn't be this emotional about something I've written but screw it I honestly don't want to write the next chapter. 'Cause we all know what happens in that duel *sobs* But I'll man up and write it. Then afterwards I'll do something cracky and silly to lighten myself up.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go distract myself with fluffy yaoi. TwT
