Yeah, sorry the last chapter was short, but I'll make it up to y'all… somehow… Hey, I made this chappie longer than usual, so give me some credit!


Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Shino, Ino, Itachi, (-sob-…) Kisame, Sakura, Lee, e.t.c. But I do own this fanfic, and if you steal it, YOU WILL PERISH UNDER THE WRATH OF THE GODESS OF PAIN AND MISERY! MWAHUHIHEHOHAHAHIHUHOHAHEHIHUHAHOHUHWAHWUIHWEHWO!


Uchiha Itachi's eyes fluttered open into a very unfamiliar room. He finds it strange that he was sleeping in a room filled with plushies, all in the form of cockatoos, foxes and boxes of pocky. He looked up to the walls, only to find that the walls were imprinted with designs of ramen bowls.

With this, Itachi immediately shot up of his bed in alarm, checking for the potential crazy or overly creative shinobi who put him into this room.

Nothing.

Not even the slightest trace of an on-looking mortal. Yet, Itachi noticed the particular room had signs of a recent fight. No, not the shinobi-ish fights with Justus and all, just a fight that involved scratching and hair pulling. Itachi then thought hard, thinking about yesterday's happenings.

Oh yeah… I was a four year old…and my name's Katsuhiro… Itachi remembered sadly. Why can't Sasuke think of a better name! Why Katsuhiro! Katsuhiro! Uchiha Katsuhiro! With a name as gay as that, he would be a laughing stock forever!

Itachi held his hair. His soft, glorious hair! How he dreads the day Lee gets his way… Oh, the evil! The in-humanity! How could Sasuke even let him have his way? He has to get out of this place A.S.A.P! But alas, there was no choice, as Itachi's nursery was like a prison. There was no way out.


FLASHBACK…

Sasuke had placed "Katsuhiro-chan" on a baby-chair and was now eyeing the young Uchiha suspiciously. This young Uchiha looked almost like Itachi when Itachi was "Katsuhiro-chan's" age. Yesss….. Sasuke has seen Itachi when he was four. From… the one and only…

AN ALBUM!

But that wasn't important.

What was important was that Sasuke needed to do something with the young Uchiha. Why?

Number one, "Katsuhiro-chan" looks too much like Itachi now.

And number two, No one (or so in Sasuke's little world of his own) could ever have better hair than him. And since Sasuke's hair is like an ass now, "Katsuhiro-chan's" hair has to be equally bad, worse, or just slightly better than Sasuke's that no one notices.

After pondering for what seems like eternity, Sasuke decides.

"I'll give you a haircut!" Sasuke chirped excitedly (and a little too loudly) he then squealed excitedly, making passerby's wonder if Sasuke was raping anyone, and Itachi wonder of Sasuke's true gender.

Suddenly, as if on cue, three mysterious shinobi barged in, wearing Akatsuki-ish cloaks and straw hats. But instead of red clouds, the cloaks contained different designs.

The rightmost one contained randomly placed bowls of ramen.

The middle one contained had the word 'youth' printed all over

While the leftmost one contained pictures of Sasuke's head (before haircut) of various sizes all over it.

Cherry Blossom petals fluttered around them and landed elegantly on the floor around the three not-so-mysterious shinobi. The two shinobi on the right and left were kneeling, while the middle one stood there doing the Ultraman style laser shooting thingy. (Without the laser) Then, all of them stood up, and slightly lifted their straw hats, which this revealed a spiky haired blonde, a bowl-cut Nin, and a pink haired kunoichi. They then quoted together

"We are the 'SHINOBI CUT, GIVE US THE MONEY AND GET YOUR BUTT OUT SERVICE!' We do hair, backside hair, armpit hair, and the latest, chimpanzee hair! We have temporarily abandoned shinobi duties and became barbers!" they all said not-so-together.

Itachi mentally scoffed at their outfits. "Copycats…" he thought.

"Err… Saku…" started Sasuke

"Noo! I am known as 'Scissorsra'" said the girl, who sounds suspiciously like Sakura.

"While I'm Rip Hair!"

"And I'm 'Cut-masterruto'! Future Hokage and the best nin…ehm… hairdresser of all time!"

"That wasn't in the script, baka," whispered the girl who sounds suspiciously like Sakura.

"Right…" said Sasuke.

Suddenly, all of them went towards Itachi, placed him on a chair, tied him up, and turned towards Sasuke.

"What to do boss?" asked coughleecough.

Sasuke pondered for a while. With Lee (author gets banged in the head by Rip Lee), Sakura (IT'S SCISSORSRA!) and Naruto (Cut-masterro please!) 'Katsuhiro-chan's' would be worse than his!

Itachi's dreaded answer came out.

"Do whatever you want" said Sasuke.

AND THUS, THE BICKERING BEGINS!


"So what should we do?" asked coughsakuracough. (Sakura mumbles very colorful words)

"HOW 'BOUT A BOWLCUT!" chirped coughleecough (It's Rip Hair!)

"Dun think that's a good idea, how bout Sasuke-kun's hairstyle?" Said… Oh, you know who said that!

"Nah… not good." Said Cut-Masterruto -Or Naruto- (Cut-Masterruto!)

"So, what do you guys want! You refused Sasuke-kun's hair, and Bowl-Cut would never do!

"I was thinking more of the…"

"What!"

"MOHAWK!"

"MOHAWK?"

"Yup! MOHAWK!"

"NO WAY!"

"YES WAY!"

"NO!"

"YESSS!"

"NOOOOO!"


Meanwhile in the flashback (Be'cha forgot this was a flashback huh?)

Kisame wandered around, in an attempt to search for food. He was starving! Yet he refused to eat anything non-meat. It's something like turning vegetarian, but I think the preferred term would be

Meatenarian

So, like I said, Kisame wandered around, in search for food. Who knows? Maybe he'll stumble upon an unlikely herd of walking fish, (Him being the shark) who knows?


BACK IN THE ORIGINAL FLASHBACK

"NOOOOOOO! NOT MOHAWK! IT DOESN'T GO WITH KATSUHIRO-CHAN'S CUTE LITTLE FACE!" screamed Sak… err… I mean Scissorsra.

"Goddamnit! Don't pick any of those and think of another!" Thought Itachi. Yet alas, Itachi couldn't say anything since he turned four, and he had a ginormous cloth tied around his mouth.

"Then! You don't want the Mohawk, and if we put Sasuke's hairstyle, we won't be able to differentiae between him and Sasuke!" said … uhh… Crab-Masterru-what? (CUT-MASTERRUTO!)

"You got a point there…" mumbled Sakura

"Bowl-cut then…" all three hairdressers coughshinobicoughsaid at once.

WHAT? Thought Itachi. Lee bent down closer to uphold the evil haircut. Itachi turned towards Sasuke for support. Sasuke just shrugged and turned to the right. Itachi mentally swore to use Tsukiyomi on Sasuke again.

But he couldn't plot his revenge at the very moment, as the scissors of Scissorsra (Rip Hair is cutting, but it's Scissorsra's scissors) were coming closer to his million-dollar hair.

"Think, Itachi, Think! Don't let the idiot cut your hair!" Thought Itachi. (A/N: Itachi is thinking about thinking…. 0,0) but the panic was making it hard.

The scissors were just three inches away…

"Think!" Itachi urged himself…

Two inches…

"THINK!"

One inch away…

"THINK ITACHI, THINK!"


MEANWHILE

The Akatsuki leader was annoyed. Kisame and Itachi haven't returned on their errand to collect his little toy… err... I mean, merchandise.

His very own, super ginormous and one of a kind…

BEYBLADE!

He was getting so anxious; he almost pissed in his pants. Where were Itachi and Kisame! They have never failed a mission yet! Well, except for the Kyuubi mission though… but that mission is now very inferior compared to this mission! WHERE ARE THEY! He needed the BEYBLADE, NOW!

He called out Deidara, Sasori, Zetsu, Tobi, (Dunno why I added him) Kakuzu and Hayden. (A/N: Forgot if dis was his real name… maybe it is, maybe it's not…)

"Get Kisame and Itachi" he said


BACK TO THE FLASHBACK (It rhymed!)

Rip Hair was very pleased. He can now uphold the beauty of Bowl-cut hair! Gai-sensei would be so proud! Suddenly,

"Katsuhiro-chan" started crying.


Crying was the only thing Itachi could think of to stop the scissors from reaching his beautiful, shiny hair. IT WORKED WONDERES! YES! HIS HAIR WAS SAVED! But Itachi only mentally cheered, as he knew looking happy would ruin his act. Luckily being an ex in ANBU helped a lot.


Lee panicked. Had he hurt the little child? Sasuke gave him the official Uchiha glare, while Sakura and Naruto chanted.

"YOU MADE HIM CRY! MURDERER!"

"No I'm not!" demanded Lee

"LIAR!" Naruto and Sakura chanted together again.

"It's the truth!"

"WE DON'T BELIEVE YOU!" They should join chorus speaking or something…

"IT'S THE TRUTH!"

"GO EAT BIRD POO!"

And with that, Naruto and Sakura chanted around Lee, saying "GUILTY" over and over again. Sasuke decided to step into the problem, and untied the crying "Katsuhiro-chan"

Bad idea

Because then, "Katsuhiro-chan" flailed his arms around like mad and hit Sasuke squarely in the blls. "Revenge is sweet…" thought Itachi. After Sasuke got over the pain, he decided to calm the mad Uchiha down. He picked up "Katsuhiro-chan" and put him down beside the table.

Another bad idea.

"No!" yelled Sasuke, but it was too late as "Katsuhiro-chan" had already spilled Sasuke's beloved Arabica coffee on himself. Okay, it was only a drop or two, but kiddies aren't supposed to be open-minded aren't they? Itachi cried even louder. Sasuke panicked and tried to calm him down. Yet alas, another fruitless effort.

"YOU GOT HIM MAD! BAD PARENT!" Sakura and Naruto chanted together.

"I'M TRYING MY HARDEST!" demanded Sasuke.

"DON'T LIE!"

"Why would I lie about this!"

"GO EAT YOUR OWN POO!"

"WHY MY POO?"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE A BIRD AND BIRD EAT THEIR OWN POO!"

And Sakura and Naruto chanted "GUILTY" over and over again around Sasuke and Lee, who was cowering in fear and whimpering "It wasn't me…" over and over again, sobbing. Itachi was still in his act of crying and flailing his arms, ever-so-happily getting his revenge on Sasuke. Itachi mentally smirked, but didn't smirk physically as crying babies don't smirk. The wind was howling oh-so-loudly outside.

Suddenly, the door burst open, and a curious Hinata came along with Ino and Shino. Hinata was holding acone of chocolate flavored ice cream.

Itachi instantly stopped, spotting the heavenly treat. He went over to Hinata, snatched the ice cream, and went to his old room to savor the heavenly treat.

"Ano… what happened here?" asked Hinata.


Back to original time

Itachi smirked, remembering the moment of his revenge. He checked the watch.

"It's 8.50! I'm gonna miss it!"

Itachi thought as he got up, and went all the way towards the TV. He opened it, and flicked the channel to "Breakfast With Buddy". Ten more minutes before the show, and he almost forgot! Itachi never misses this show; it was one of his favorite shows. But he has to wait for another ten minutes as the news went on.

"We report a missing school of missing unlikely herd of walking fish from the streets on the way to Konoha. Full news after "Breakfast with Buddy" Thank you."

Said the reporter. Itachi was interested, but he didn't have to wait to know the culprit. He had a very good idea who it was…

Just then, a certain girl with shoulder-length black hair came into the room holding a tray of soup. Itachi turned around, and immediately recognized the face.

"U!" (You!) Said Itachi, pointing at her accusingly.


And therefore, I shall leave this fanfic right there. This is my best cliffhanger yet! (Chuckles evilly) Thanks for reading, but if y'all can, please do me a favor…

RATE AND REVIEW! PLEASE! (Does sad puppy face of doom)

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B.T.W, the "Breakfast with Buddy" thingy, no offence. I just always thought Itachi would make a great cook. Somehow… Haha, lol. I know it's a crazy idea, but whaddaya think? Should I make Itachi the best cook yet? Or in the verge of being one. Review for suggestion please!