Dean stood behind Sam, behind most of the mourners, and listened to the preacher talk about God and how Jessica's soul would be accepted into his house. Every single time Jessica's name was mentioned Sam's shoulders shook a little more, finally, unable to take it any longer, Dean put his left hand against this brother's back. Palm flat, giving him the most support he could through a simple touch.
When Sam had become a pre-teen he had become leery of touch, of hugs and kisses of any kind. Especially if they came from Dean. Dean, because he was a teenager himself, never understood that that was what children did as they grew older, they resisted physical contact from those who served as parents. Dean was that parent, and therefore Sam cut off physical contact with him. Had Dean known that, he probably wouldn't have felt so rejected and unwanted. He probably would still allow someone to offer that type of affection to him. But now that it had been so long since he had hugged or kissed someone he truly loved, and didn't know how the gesture would be received, he settled for the palm against his brother's back, and hoped desperately that that would be enough for his little brother. Sam's back relaxed with the touch, and that was enough for Dean.
Once the ceremony was complete, Sam was enveloped in a cloud of people that were obviously Jessica's family and close friends. They whisked him away and into the limo that would drive the family back to the church. Dean was headed to his car when a tall blonde girl came running towards him. He stopped, keys in his hands, looking at the girl with the striking blue eyes and the sad expression.
"Are you Dean?" she asked.
"Yes, I am."
"You are Sam's older brother right?"
"Yes I am." He said again unsure of how this conversation should proceed.
"I'm Jessica's younger sister Olivia." She seemed to think for a moment. "Are you driving back to the church?"
"Yeah."
"Can I ride with you?"
"I thought that you would want to--"
"No. I want to talk to you."
"Does your mom know?"
"She barely notices anything since Jess's death. Who could? It's okay. I don't think you are some psycho killer or anything, not if you are Sam's brother." Dean nodded and she followed him to his car. "Wow this is a nice car."
"Thank you. Been in our family for years." He said as he walked with her to the passenger's side and opened the door for her. She smiled weakly and sat down, he shut the door gently and went to his side, got in and started the car, and waited for the others to start making their way out of the cemetery.
"Umm." She started and fingered her purse. "Sam said something yesterday while we were at the funeral home getting ready to have her service." Dean braced ready to be told off by this girl. He hadn't been able to save Jessica, that was the person that Olivia cared for most, she was going to ask him why he hadn't made any more effort to save Jessica than he had. Hell, he had been asking himself the same question.
"Yeah," he encouraged. "What did he say?" He pressed down on the accelerator as they headed out of the cemetery.
"He said that you tried to save Jessica and that you couldn't. That she was too far gone by the time you got to her." Dean swallowed. "I want to thank you for getting Sam out." Dean was shocked. "Jessica loved him very much, and she would have been devastated if he had died."
"Yeah, but I'm sure she didn't mean to leave you behind. I wish I had been able to save her for you."
"Sometimes things happen that are beyond our control." She said and a tear slipped. "Thank you for all that you did. My sister talked about you. Said she couldn't tell Sam that she spent that weekend with you in the motel. Said that he wouldn't understand that she needed to get to know you."
"She told you that?"
"Yeah. She felt really bad for you. Felt like you could give the world so much and you just weren't letting the world give anything back. She admired that about you."
"I don't deserve her admiration." Olivia let out a small laugh.
"She said you were humble. But I really didn't expect this humble, not after looking at you. But I saw what you did for Sam at the funeral. You really worry and care about him. I'm glad he has you." To Dean's surprise they were back at the church and he got out of the car and opened her door before she did. She smiled and thanked him. He closed the door and she enveloped him in a hug. He felt her start to cry. "Please take care of Sam. My mom loves him like a son. Please. And thank you for trying." Dean was having more difficulty than normal reigning in his emotions, and he didn't trust his voice so he hugged her a little tighter and nodded. She let go. Looked up at him through tears and tried to smile.
"I better get inside." Dean nodded and watched her follow friends and family back into the church. He got back into the Impala and headed back to the motel room. He had to be composed before Sam saw him again, Sam needed him strong. He couldn't fall apart over a girl he had supposedly never met, and he could never tell him that he knew her. Never. She trusted him to do his job, just like their father had. He couldn't let them down.
