Mini Story: Bobby's New Catchphrase
(Written by a kind friend and coauthor)
It was well-known throughout the halls of Storybrooke High that Bobby Gold never showed up to class for anything except test days, yet would always manage to pull perfect scores on everything. No one knew how he got the material exactly right without being present for it, or why his grades were so high, but it was just another mystery that added to the enigma of Bobby's character.
Bobby was strolling to his locker after Algebra class, smirking at yet another perfect test score. Per the usual, he had been one of the first finished, and had had time to critique the drawing of the killer whale he'd been practicing. He flipped it over, revealing his crude drawing. It portrayed a rather rotund whale with bulging eyes, and a long, thin lump on its back that was meant to resemble its fin. The whale's vampire-esque fangs dripped with the blood of several small fish, the dismembered bodies of which lay at his feet…er, flippers.
Swinging open his oddly orderly locker, Bobby carefully inserted his textbook back into its designated spot in the stack. He was about to lay his test paper neatly on top, when the woeful cries of yet another high school drama assuaged his ears.
"He broke up with me. OVER. THE. PHONE!" Faye Bleu cried, throwing herself into the arms of her best friends, Fiona and Fleur. "I mean, SERIOUSLY! We hadn't even KISSED yet! I just feel so untalented and useless now." Faye sniffled as Fiona put an arm around her and delicately brushed Faye's tears from her cheeks. Fleur cooed in sympathy and produced tissues from a pocket in her backpack. Faye took them and began to cry passionately into one.
"Oh my gosh, that's so sad, Faye!" Fiona whimpered.
"I know. I thought you guys were totally getting married!" Fleur wailed, beginning to tear up herself.
"So did I," Faye whispered. "So did I." Her first tissue now completely soaked, she pulled a fresh one from the pack and began to sob even more furiously than before. Fleur and Fiona put their arms around their friend, forming a protective circle around her.
Bobby snickered, slipping his test paper behind his back. He stepped into the adjacent hall, sneaking past other classrooms so he could enter the other hall and creep up behind him. As he made his way over, he could still hear Faye's wails of, "Woe is me!" and Fiona and Fleur tearfully agreeing.
Bobby peered around the corner to see Fiona stroking the fiercely vibrating back of Faye, whispering "Shh," softly. Faye finally lifted her head to ask in a voice dripping with sorrow, "Is my mascara running?"
"No," Fleur reassured her. "You always look perf, Faye."
Faye pulled yet another tissue from the pack, tossing her second one (now completely soaked as well, Bobby could clearly see) behind her. She buried her face in it, weeping with a renewed vigor.
"You guys, I think I'm going to have to miss my next class to cry," she finally managed to gasp out between her tears. "It's just too much!"
At these words, Bobby saw his opportunity. As Fiona and Fleur promised valiantly to skip class with her to cry, Bobby leaped out from behind the corner to land in front of them. He flashed his whale drawing at the three girls, before hurling it at them with all his might, with a mighty battle cry of:
"SAVE THE WATER FOR THE WHALES!"
His balled up test hit Faye right in the face. After a moment of shocked silence, in which Bobby grinned triumphantly, Faye looked surprised and murderous at the same time, Fiona and Fleur's heads swiveled between their friend and Bobby, Faye finally burst into a fresh round of tears. "I'm too depressed to care anymore!" she wailed, running down the hall. "I'm going to the bathroom to finish crying!"
Fiona and Fleur, looking worried, quickly followed suit. Bobby, satisfied with his work, headed down the hall as well in the direction of the cafeteria. He placed a hand on his stomach; after all the hard work he'd done today, he deserved at least three brownies. As he headed downstairs, he passed the girls' bathroom, where Faye's sobs were clearly audible. Bobby began to get a wickedly appealing evil idea. He retraced his steps to where he had cut off Faye's dramatics with his whale drawing, and stooped to pick up the (clean) tissue she had dropped as she ran off. He quickly ran to his locker, grabbed his Sharpie, and hurried back to the girls' bathroom.
Since Bobby was, after all, a gentleman, albeit a strange one, his plan did not involve entering the ladies' room. Instead, he scribbled a quick message on the tissue. Bending down, he inserted his tissue under the crack in the door, so the words were clearly readable. On the tissue, he had scrawled six simple words. These words were:
"SAVE THE WATER FOR THE WHALES."
Bobby hovered outside, waiting for the girls' reactions. He was not disappointed; there was a moment of silence as the Faye, Fiona, and Fleur bent down to read Bobby's handiwork. Then, they all screamed in unison, and Faye began to cry once again, more profusely.
"YOU GUYS!" she shrieked. "I think I'm going to miss two classes now, because I don't think I'll be finished crying by then! That creep just made me MORE depressed!"
Faye's sobbing was now practically blowing Bobby's eardrums out, so he snickered evilly and headed down to lunch. He was starving for those brownies now.
