A/N. Everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
Just to let you know, I'm a very sarcastic person, so don't take everything in this story seriously. Read it with a pinch of salt...not literally though, that could really mess up your computer.
Thank you so much for the support as well. Every little helps, if it's a review or just a quick read, it all counts to me. Big thanks! Big love!
Oh and this chapter contains a small homage to my favourite scene from the Twilight novel. See if you can spot it.
As always, please review.
Chapter Four
I hadn't slept. My eyes were burning and my joints were stiff. I'd sat on my bed all night with my knees tucked into my chest and my arms wrapped around them trying to literally hold myself together. I wanted to scream, punch something, scream, run away, scream, hide under my bed, scream. Everything in my head was a mess!
She couldn't be. They weren't real, were they? She was just messing with me, right, yeah, a joke after I made the 'robot' comment. Wasn't she? I don't know! I don't have a clue! Do I want to know? Would life be simpler if the weird things could still be explained by science and mythology was still only alive in books? So many questions and I wasn't even at school!
I dragged myself off my bed and into the shower. I scrubbed and scrubbed my skin. Maybe the hot water could wash away last night. Maybe the water could introduce some clarity into my life. I was gasping for breath now. The water was burning my skin but I didn't move. I stood there and let it pound on my face and shoulders. The heat was good, it reminded me that I was awake and this wasn't some nightmare. After a few more minutes and with my skin violently red, I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself. I made my way back into my room and tried to decide on today's outfit. I pulled out a pair of dungaree-shorts, a red vest-top and my favourite pair of hiking boots. I dressed quickly and decided on plaiting my hair, letting it hang over my shoulder in a nice, neat braid. Satisfied with how I looked I made my way down stairs. Charlie was already up and dressed, he was talking on the phone. I went into the kitchen and poured myself some coffee, waiting for Charlie to finish. He held a finger up letting me know he was almost done. He laughed into the phone before hanging up and facing me.
"Going to school?" I shook my head. I didn't think it was the best idea to go to school given the events of yesterday. Charlie nodded but he had a look on his face that conflicted with his agreement.
"I'll call the school, tell them you have a doctors appointment or something. He ran his fingers over his moustache and I had to swallow a laugh. He looked so...cliché when he did that! I walked over to the sink and grabbed myself an apple from the basket at the side. I bite into it and felt the juice pool over my tongue. I chewed greedily and swallowed the apple-mush whilst watching Charlie shuffle about the house. He kept checking his gun, making sure he had his keys, wallet, phone. After patting down his pockets one last time he placed a sweet kiss on my cheek and headed out but not before reminding me that the shot gun was under his bed if I needed it. I rolled my eyes and waved him off.
Still munching on the apple, I wandered aimlessly around the kitchen before deciding to finish my snack outside. I opened the back door and sat on the small wooden steps. I finished the apple quickly and threw the core into the forest surrounding my house. I just sat there for a while. Letting the rising sun wash over me, watching as the wisps of morning-mist disappeared into the trees and listening to the birds and animals scurrying and flapping about.
What was I going to do? Should I tell Charlie about last night? I let my body slump forward slightly and rested my face in my hands.
"You could always run away...yeah and where will that leave Charlie?...All right then maybe tell him...are you kidding? Charlie is the guy who'd take a bullet to protect me from the common cold! He might over-react to something like this...Is it even possible to over-react to something like this? What's the perfect way to react?...Probably not running away..." I was talking to myself...or rather arguing with myself. It was something I'd done ever since I was young. Growing up there weren't a lot of people to talk to. If it wasn't orders to be obeyed or requests for blood samples then it was explanations about the correct procedure for snapping an enemy sentry's neck with your bare hands. Talking to myself was the only decent conversation I ever really had when I was growing up...well apart from my talks with Charlie.
I slowly let the air out of my lungs through my lips before drawing it back in deeply through my nose. Calming myself down, clearing my head, focusing on anything that wasn't unbelievable. I felt the blood flowing through my veins. I imagined watching a single blood cell as it made it's way around my body. Starting at my heart, making it's way past my lungs, down through my body and back up towards my head. It was kind of entertaining, in a weird, geeky way. When I felt my head was clearer and my thoughts weren't so jagged and crazy I let myself look up. It had turned into a beautiful day. There was barely a cloud in the sky, a light breeze, warm sunshine, and I had the day all to myself. I made sure my boots were on tight before getting off my step, locking the door behind me, and setting off into the trees.
I jogged at first, keeping a nice, steady pace. I felt free. The moss-covered trees became green blurs as I sped past them. Rabbits, squirrels and birds moved past me. I could feel the tightness in the air as the forest became more dense. The trees were packed tighter and closer together. I was getting to the 'wild' part of the forest. Through my panting and footsteps I could hear the rushing of water and the roaring as it crashed down a cliff and into a deep pool at the bottom. Waterfall. I loved waterfalls. I could literally spend days just watching the water rushing over the edge and trying to count the bubbles in the foam at the bottom. It was mesmerising, hypnotic, soothing. This was the first time I'd come across a waterfall in Forks. I sped off in the direction of the water. Weaving a path through the trees. My heart was thumping in anticipation. I was so excited! If I'd ever experienced a Christmas before, I imagined the excitement might have felt something like this. I could feel the extra moisture in the air. I was getting closer. A few seconds later I broke through the tree line and straight into a clearing. The water fall was beautiful! A perfect, cool blue, the foam at the bottom looked almost like snow. I gasped at it's beauty. I just stood there and marvelled at it for a moment. I wished I could just pick my house up and move it to this spot. I contemplated that for a moment and chuckled to myself as I had the mental image of Charlie carrying our house on his back and me telling him where to set it down. Letting the image pass, I walked towards the shores of the pool. There were a number of large boulders nearby. I leant against one and pulled my boots off. I pulled my vest over my head and pushed my dungaree-shorts down my legs. I let my clothes fall into a pile on top of my boots and walked towards water in only my underwear. The grass tickled my toes as I walked. There's really no feeling like grass under your bare feet.
I walked slowly into the pool of icy-cold water. I let it wash over my feet and I kept walking until I was waist deep in it. I slowly knelt down until the water was lapping at my chin. Closing my eyes I submerged myself, feeling the water rush over the top of my head and swallowing me whole. I sat cross-legged on the floor of the pool. I opened my eyes and blinked furiously as I got used to the cold water and the sting against my retinas. After a few seconds I could sit there comfortably. I watched as the water churned at the base of the water fall, I watched the fish swim by me. I watched as pieces of wood and leaves floated above me. I smiled to myself. The underwater world is truly beautiful. I was at peace until I noticed a shadowy figure at the edge of the pool.
How could someone sneak up on me? I must have let my guard slip. I stayed submerged, waiting to see what the shadowy figure did. They came closer, their image was distorted by the water. From under the pool it either looked like a two-headed man or a three-legged woman. I slowly allowed myself to rise out of the water until my eyes and the top portion of my face were free of it's waves. I frowned when I realised who it was and stood up angrily. I could feel my face turning red with fury.
"What the hell are you doing here?" I had my hands on my hips, digging my fingers into my wet skin, trying to keep myself calm and stop myself from doing something reckless.
"I just wanted to talk." Alice was standing next to rock where my clothes were. My clothes! It was then that I realised I was practically naked. Now my face wasn't red with rage but embarrassment. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to shield my body from her arms. She raised an eyebrow and gave me a weird look.
"What are you doing?" She took a step forward and I took a step back. I was extremely vulnerable right now
"Just get back Alice. Go back to your family. I'll stay away from you if you stay away from me. Everybody wins and nobody gets hurt." I was trying furiously to figure out a way out of this situation.
"I'm not going to hurt you Bella. I just want to talk." She sat on the rock and just looked at me. I lowered myself back into the water, trying to hide my naked body.
"We have nothing to talk about, Alice. Just go home, leave me alone." Her gaze fell and I felt a twinge of guilt. I quickly cemented over my guilt. I had to keep as far away from her as possible. I couldn't let her get close to me. I couldn't put myself and especially not Charlie in danger like that. I stood out of the water and walked purposefully towards Alice, or more specifically towards my clothes. Alice stepped away from the rock and looked away as I pulled my clothes on again. She didn't look back at me until I was tying the laces of my boots. I straightened myself out and stared Alice down. I utilised my height, squared my shoulders and took a firm stance. She couldn't intimidate me. She couldn't scare me. She couldn't beat me. Alice didn't blink though. She didn't back down, she didn't even break eye contact.
"We have plenty to talk about Bella. I told you my secret, it's only polite for you to return the favour." Her voice was sweet with the slightest hint of menace behind it.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." I mimicked her tone of voice and batted my eyelashes at her. If she wants to play games then I'll go along, for now.
"Dammit Bella." Alice raised a fist and slammed it down against her thigh. I jumped slightly at the aggressive gesture. "Can't we just talk, like regular people?"
"You're not people Alice!" I was getting angry now!
"Neither are you! What the hell are you?" Her face was contorted in anger now. I could the blood pumping in my ears.
"None of you're fucking business!" I spat the words at her, putting as much anger and hate into them a possible.
"It is my business when you attack my family!"
"I was defending myself! I'd do it again in a heartbeat...you know heartbeats right? Something you don't have!" She looked surprised at my words, visibly stung.
"I know what I am Bella. I know what I have and haven't got. I have a family. I would kill to protect them. DO NOT underestimate me!" She was squaring off with me now. I could feel the tension on the air.
"You push me and I swear you won't get the chance to kill me. I'll put you in the ground." Alice growled at me. She actually growled, like a wild animal. She flicked her wrist out and caught my arm just above the elbow.
"You have no idea who are you are messing with little girl." She had hold of my arm, gripping it tightly. I could tell it was going to leave a bruise. I lashed out. Swinging my arm so her grip broke. I swung my other arm up between our bodies and grabbed Alice round her throat. In less than half a second I'd position my left leg just behind her body. I swung my right hip and used the momentum to propel her body onto the ground. I landed on-top of her. I tightened my grip around her throat and shifted my body so I was straddling her hips. Alice tried to claw at my face but I grabbed her wrists with my free left hand and pinned them against her stomach. She bucked her hips wildly, trying to flip me off her but I centred my weight weight and pushed her hips back down into the ground.
"Never, touch me again! We both know I'm not normal. And we both know I can defend myself. Don't force me!" To emphasise my point I tightened my grip on her wrists, making Alice hiss. Whether that was in frustration or pain I couldn't tell. I didn't want to get into a fight, but I wanted to make sure she understood my point. Keeping hold of her wrists I got to my feet and pulled Alice with me. I get her wrists pressed against her stomach and removed my hand from around her throat. I wrapped that arm around her body and pulled her close to me so she couldn't break free. We were millimetres apart. I could feel her breath on my lips.
"I don't want to fight you Alice. In about five seconds I'm going to let you go. I'm going to step back and you can walk away." She chewed on her lip and nodded her acknowledgement. I removed my arm from around her waist first, letting her shift her body away from mine. Then I released her wrists and took a big step back, holding my hands up in a peaceful gesture. Alice didn't move. She crossed her arms over her stomach and stayed rooted to the spot.
"Thank you for letting me go Bella. But I'm not leaving. I still have questions." I sighed in annoyance. She just wasn't getting it!
"I'm not answering any of your questions Alice! I can't!"
"I just need to know what you are! How can you...how can you do what you do?" She was gesturing at me furiously with her hands.
"I'm not normal and I'm not like you Alice, can't you just accept that?"
"No I can't!" We were scowling furiously at each other now, the silence began to fill the space between us.
"You're not going to leave me alone until you find out are you?"
"No I'm not." She jutted her chin out slightly.
"Well then I hope you enjoy disappointment." I turned on my heels and tried to walk out of the clearing but Alice was in front of me in an instant.
"Bella wait, I was honest with you. I've never told anyone that before but I told you."
"Great so it was a reciprocal agreement then?" I huffed at her, trying to side-step her body but she moved in the same direction, blocking my path again.
"No, no, I didn't mean it like that. I meant I thought you deserved to know the truth. I want to be honest with you, I want to get to know, to be your friend!" I was stunned by her words. I took a step back. Friend? What?
"I don't...I don't need any friends." What was this? Some kind of mind game? Was she trying to manipulate me? I tried to turn around and run the other way but she was there. I turned again and again and again...she was always there!
"Why won't you just leave me alone?" I was shouting now, I was straining my voice so much that my throat was beginning to sting.
"I can't Bella!" She took a step closer to me. I was so frustrated now that I could feel the tears starting to prick the corner of my eyes.
"Stay back Alice!"
"I'm not going to hurt you." She kept inching closer.
"You're a fucking Vampire! I'm a snack to you! Don't give me that bullshit about not hurting me."
She stopped moving for about a second. I saw this and darted to the side but she was there again!
"I'm not what you think Bella. I don't hurt people, I'm not a monster."
"Vampire...monster...is there a difference?" Alice began to shake slightly. I'd angered her.
She took a furious step towards me. "I am not a monster!" Her hands were in tight fists by her side. I felt like I should apologise but I swallowed the urge.
"Then what are you?"
"I'm a mistake! A walking corpse! An affront to nature! I can't choose what I am but I can choose what I do. I choose not to hurt people. I choose to try and live a better life. I fight every second of every day to not be a monster. My family and I, we're different. We're not like others of our kind. We value life and humanity. I value keeping hold of what little humanity I have left!" She was pointing her finger angrily at me now. On impulse I stepped back from her. Alice noticed this and visibly calmed down. She lowered her arm and flexed her fingers.
"I'm sorry if I frightened you." She lowered her gaze and scuffed the ground with her feet. A huge part of me wanted to tell her everything. I wanted to tell her all about myself, what I'd been through, what I was...but I couldn't. It wasn't safe, not just for me. Charlie had always told me that if anyone ever found out about the Institute, it was like giving them a death sentence.
"It takes more than that to frighten me." I steeled my gaze even though she wasn't looking at me. I guess I just did it for effect.
"Bella I just...I don't know, I guess I just want someone I don't have to lie to." She was pleading with me now. I could hear the strain in her voice.
"Why me Alice?"
"Because you have a secret too. Maybe you could understand..." Her voice trailed off and she lifted her face to look at me. She looked into my eyes and I saw hers darken slightly.
"Alice I understand secrets. I understand fear and loneliness. I understand completely. Which is why you should understand I can't." She nodded, I saw her jaw tighten and she looked back at me.
"Maybe just friends then? You know my secret and I forget yours?" She had a sad smile on her face now. She was still pleading, just not as desperately as before.
"I don't know Alice...I...I've got to go." I walked towards her. She didn't stop me this time. She stepped aside and let me pass. Just as I got level with her she reached out slowly and took my hand. She squeezed it gently and rubbed her thumb along mine.
"I'm sorry Bella." She smiled weakly, and then she was gone. I felt something in my fingers. She'd slipped a note into my hand. I lifted it up and unfolded the small piece of paper slowly. As I opened it up it released the faint scent of Alice. I turned it over in my fingers and saw a row of numbers written in elegant script on the paper. It was a cell-phone number with a short message.
"Whenever you want a friend". I smiled to myself and tucked the note into my pocket. I headed back towards the trees and made my way home.
That night I fell into a deep sleep. That night, I dreamt of Alice.
