Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.
Sam checked the angel warding in his room. Then, he checked it again. He felt Lucifer at the edges of his consciousness, trying to get in but unable to. The Serpent was trying to slither into his head, and he understood why he was made to be the perfect vessel for Lucifer. It was his symbol as a snake, injecting venom into others. Killing them. He checked the warding a third time and thought about putting them up in Dean's room, too. Just to be safe.
Especially since it seemed like Dean wasn't sleeping well anymore. Were the angels bothering his dreams, too? Was it like the Apocalypse all over again and Michael escaped The Cage wanting to use Dean as his vessel? Was Sam's swan dive only meant to delay the inevitable fiery death of the world?
Sam forced himself to take a deep breath, inhaling the frankincense that he'd taken to continuously burning in his room. Strength and protection, that's what he read. Purification. Things that he needed, but didn't feel like he was receiving. Dean was just exhausted from all the shit happening to them. It wasn't the angels bothering him, it was everything else.
The scent was calming, at least. It reminded him of days spent in Pastor Jim's church, when it still felt like there was enough light in the world to fight off the darkness.
He wished that he had asked Chuck why he had been allowed to set foot on holy ground throughout his life while he had evil in his veins, but they all had bigger problems to deal with at the time.
He took another deep breath. If he started drawing wards all over Dean's room, then there was no way that Dean's suspicion wouldn't skyrocket. Sam wouldn't put it past Dean to lock him down in their demon prison room until he got answers.
He wished Cas would call him back. He wished that they could get this all over with so that Sam could be back where he belonged and Dean could move on with his life, finally free from the burden of Sam.
It'd already been longer than the week that Lucifer predicted, but Lucifer was nothing if not patient when he knew that he was on the verge of getting what he wanted. Though, Sam still felt his presence at the edge of his consciousness, trying to lure him into hurrying. Just say 'yes' already, it said. What's the use in delaying?
When his phone vibrated and the screen lit up, he stopped breathing for a second, his heart lodged in his throat as a thousand second thoughts ran through his head and made him reconsider it all in a single moment. But the name on the text message was Crowley's, not Cas'.
It was a short message, just letting Sam know that Crowley figured out a way to manipulate The Cage without the key. Sam replied that he should tell Cas about it, as Sam feared his mind was not entirely safe from Lucifer's prying. Not yet.
And his entire plan revolved around Lucifer and Dean staying out of the loop.
"You're scaring me, Sam," Dean said. "Ever since Mom died again."
Eating together in their kitchen had become a regular occurrence since Sam's deal with The Devil. It almost felt like they were a normal, small family. The first few times, Dean questioned it. But now it was a habit for both of them, and a time that Dean used to try and find out what Sam was up to.
Sam wouldn't let that happen.
"I told you already," Sam said. "Losing someone like that makes you want to appreciate what you still have left."
"Well, the last times you were this quiet never ended with anything good. You spend your entire life wanting to talk things through, and now that I'm offering, you're more tight-lipped than ever."
"I don't know what to tell you," Sam said.
"The truth would be nice, because I'm not buying that this is all out of losing Mom. We've lost her before, and it hurts, but we've made it through those losses."
It felt like they were warped back to the first time that Lucifer walked the Earth. They were thrown back to the days of distrust and being manipulated against each other. Days when Sam wanted nothing more than to have stayed dead in Cold Oak because that would have been the best for everyone.
That was the one thing that was abundantly clear throughout the years after Stanford: everyone was better off when he wasn't in the picture.
"Sam?" Dean asked.
Sam jerked his focus from his food (mostly uneaten) to Dean. "What?"
"Dude, now you're spacing out on me? I've been trying to get your attention for a solid five minutes while you stared at your food like it insulted your hair."
"Sorry," Sam said.
Dean ran a hand down his face and shook his head. "I can't help you if you don't give me anything to work with, Sam."
"Dean…"
"Sam. Sammy, I'm begging you, man. Talk to me. What's with the angel wards and the lack of sleep and the bouts of clinginess?"
"I took your gift away, Dean."
"What?"
"Mom, I took her away from you again," he said. He wanted Dean to be able to understand all the things he wasn't saying. That he shouldn't be helping someone who ruined his life so thoroughly.
"Sam, that wasn't you. You didn't do anything. We'll figure out what did it and hunt the bastard down just like we did the first time around, okay? You don't have to punish yourself like this. I don't blame you," Dean said. "I don't blame you. Not this time, not the first time."
"You should," Sam said. "You should. It's always been my fault."
Dean took a deep breath, releasing it slowly. "How about we go stock up on junk food and beer and spend the night catching up on Netflix?" Dean asked. "Just like old times."
Sam nodded. One last movie night with his brother sounded pretty good, because he wasn't sure that there would be another chance. He felt his time slipping through his fingers. Once Cas finally contacted him, it would be gone.
Sam's phone rang early in the morning, before sunrise and only an hour or so after he and Dean ended their marathon of B-rated movies and horrible dramas. He answered, voice thick with sleep and words a groggy slur.
"Sam, I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get back to you. Heaven has poor reception for cellular devices."
"Cas, can you come to the bunker? I'll meet you outside, just make sure that you don't wake up Dean."
"Sam, I—"
"It's important," Sam said, cutting him off. "Believe me, it's really, really important. Please."
"I'll be there shortly."
The call ended, and Sam threw on a sweatshirt to keep away the night chill. He walked with silent steps through the bunker, anticipation buzzing through his veins at the realization that he could set everything into motion soon. That thought alone was enough to fill him with mixed emotions. Fear, he knew that The Cage was far from pleasant and his first stay had severely damaged his soul. Relief, Dean would have a family that never got the people he loved killed. Dean would be free of the responsibility of taking are of him. Anxiety, he just wanted it over with now. Before he had the chance to change his mind.
The door to the bunker wasn't quiet when opened or closed, but Sam did his best to make as little sound as possible. He did not need Dean waking up, not now.
"Hello, Sam," Cas said, already standing on the other side. Waiting.
"You weren't kidding about being here shortly."
"No, I was not."
Sam tried to find the words, but they stumbled out of his mouth before he could think of how to phrase them in a non-shocking way. "Lucifer is still walking around Earth, and he wants me to say 'yes' again."
"No, that can't be. Lucifer is in his cage in Hell."
"He's not. He spent weeks invading my dreams and trying to convince me to be his vessel. He killed our mom and offered to bring her back if I agreed. He even offered to bring our dad back, too. For Dean."
"Dean would not want you to agree to that."
"Well, this isn't about what Dean wants," Sam said. "This is about what's best for him, and what's best for him is to have the family that he's always wanted. What's best for him is to be rid of his little brother who can't do a damn thing right. I'm going to take Lucifer back where he belongs, and I'm going to send myself back where I belong."
"Sam, you should really talk to Dean about this. You know how much it hurt him the first time you jumped into Hell."
"Cas, you know that dealing with Lucifer is more important than anything else right now. Promise me that you'll help me handle it, and once it's done, you can tell Dean all of it. You make sure that our parents find their way here, to him, and you can tell him the whole story. Until then, please, just keep it between us."
Sam hated the tone of his own voice, the pleading in it. The desperation.
"We don't have the key anymore, how are you going to open The Cage?" Cas asked, monotonous as ever now that his protests stopped.
"Crowley has a way. You'll have to talk to him about it," Sam said.
"Then, what exactly do you need from me?"
"Work with Crowley and make sure that I end up in The Cage with Lucifer after I say 'yes'. Don't rely on me being able to overpower him this time, I think that was just a fluke," Sam said. He laughed a bit at the end, but there was no humor in it. "Make sure our parents meet up with Dean. And erase my memories of the plan. Only let me remember that Lucifer offered me my parents in exchange for being his vessel."
Cas paused for a long time. "Are you sure you don't want to talk to Dean first? There has to be a way to deal with Lucifer that doesn't involve casting yourself into Hell again."
"Even if there's another way—which we don't know if there is—how much damage will Lucifer do to the world before then? I know that you've always been more of Dean's friend than mine, but I just need you to be my friend for a couple of days."
"I've always been your friend, Sam."
Sam smiled at that, but shook his head. "Maybe, but there's always been something holding you back. Like you've never fully trusted me. I was always just the boy with the demon blood to you."
"This is really what you want?"
"It is. It really is, Cas."
"When are you planning to say 'yes'?"
"How long will it take you and Crowley to put together a trap?"
"Since Crowley figured out how to use The Cage without a key and if we get Rowena to agree and use her magic, not long. One day should be sufficient."
"Okay," Sam said. "Okay. Let's do it."
Cas touched two of his fingers to Sam's forehead with a quiet apology.
Sam woke up to knocking on his door.
"Sam? You up?"
It was Dean on the other side. He sounded calm enough, and Sam sat up, trying to figure out why Dean would knock instead of barging into the room as he usually would. When had Dean given him boundaries and respected them?
"I am now," he said, loud enough to reach through the thick, wooden door.
Dean opened the door and leaned against its frame. "I saw Cas this morning. Weren't you trying to get through to him awhile back?"
"Was I? Must have not been for anything important if I can't remember," Sam said, thinking back and finding only blank spots when he tried to figure out why he wanted to speak with Cas. "At least, we know he's doing alright. Did he say what he's been up to?"
"Not really. Just something about seeking knowledge and guidance in Heaven. Sounded like back when I first met him and he was just another dick with wings."
"Huh."
"You doing okay?" Dean asked.
"Yeah, why?"
"I don't know," Dean said. "Something just seems different today. Maybe I'm just imagining things. Get cleaned up, I'll whip up something for breakfast."
Dean turned to leave, but stopped at looked at Sam for another minute. He shook his head and closed the door behind him.
Sam took a deep breath and sat still for awhile. He knew beyond doubt that it would be his last day on Earth, that he would finally be taking up Lucifer's offer tomorrow morning, even if he didn't completely remember coming to that conclusion.
The knowledge, despite also knowing his destination, left him feeling almost at peace.
Author's Note: There aren't many chapter left because this was never intended to be a long story. I was going to be mean and say that I'll base the ending on the number of reviews the chapters before it receive, but I think I've decided on the ending I want to use.
Please review, it means more than you can imagine to a writer!
