A/N: From this point on, this story is not structured in a linear fashion. Well, sort of, this is not exactly a part of the plot of the story proper, but this is a little episode in the characters' lives that is pretty important, that happens in between later events.
It was one day, in late spring, when Elizabeth made a phone call to McDonagh Electric, and had left a message with a secretary there, telling her that she was an old friend of Blane's, who had to get in contact with him immediately. She left their telephone number for him to call back, and was surprised when the phone rang an hour later.
"Hello?" Elizabeth said.
"Yes. Uh…is this Ms. Elizabeth Grey?" said a male voice on the other end, who had a kind of halting quality to it, she noted. "This is Blane McDonagh."
"Yes." Said Elizabeth.
"Uh…you left a message for my secretary, saying that you were an old friend of mine?"
"Yes." Said Elizabeth. "I…did."
"Well…" said Blane. "I'm sorry…I…I can't place your name. Where exactly did we meet?"
"Well…" said Elizabeth. "I'm sort of a…friend…of a friend of yours."
"Oh." Said Blane. He laughed. "Well-
"You remember….in high school…Stefan? Stefan Grey?" Elizabeth asked.
"Stefan…oh." Blane trailed off. "Steff."
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "You see…I'm his wife."
"Oh." Said Blane. "Uh…"
"Steff," she said, using the hated nickname only because she thought that it would jog Blane's memory. "talks about you all the time."
"Oh?" said Blane. "He does?"
"A lot, yes. But I was curious."
"About me?"
"About Steff. And you. About your friendship." Said Elizabeth. "Does that…bother you?"
"Bother me?" said Blane. "Well…it wasn't a call I was expecting to get today, but what the heck." He laughed.
"I'm glad, Blane." Elizabeth said, a laughing sound to her voice.
"I'm…glad you're glad." Blane said amusedly, though with a seemingly ubiquitous tone of nervousness in his voice. "What did you want to know?"
"Well…why haven't you spoken to him for nearly thirty years?"
Blane laughed. "Uh…well…I guess it was because Steff caused me almost nothing but trouble in the odd…decade of our friendship." He laughed again.
"What kind of trouble did he cause, you Blane?" Elizabeth said conspirationally.
"Well…" said Blane. "Trouble like…setting off fireworks in the neighbor's yard when we were in fifth grade, and getting me to take the rap for it. Trouble like stealing raspberry doughnuts from the neighborhood bakery. Trouble like forcing me to smoke cigarettes, and cigars, too…when I didn't want to. At ten years of age. Trouble like-
"What made you stay friends with him all those years, if he caused you all this trouble, then, Blane?" Elizabeth asked.
"Well, I guess…he was always…a leader. In our class. He had some degree of…pull. That I didn't manage to have all those years ago, with people." He cleared his throat. "That's another thing." He said. "Steff was always calling me a wimp, too. Always berating me about the way I looked, acted, dressed…you name it."
"I see." Elizabeth said. "But Blane…when you first knew Steff in kindergarten…did he have all this pull? With people?"
"Well…" Blane trailed off. "Uh…I guess…not at first, no."
"Was he very shy?"
Blane sighed. "Yeah…I guess he was. Sort of. He was very odd, he rarely spoke to anyone, and he was always off by himself, playing alone. And everyone was sort of…grossed out because he was always-
"Sneezing?" Elizabeth suggested.
"Yep. Yeah, I guess that's true." Blane said. "He was. And everyone was afraid they were going to catch something."
"Which was silly of course. Because he had allergies."
"Yes. That's right. But, you know. We were five, right?"
"Of course." Said Elizabeth. "But what about you? Why did you befriend him?"
"Well, I was shy, too, you know, and…not very cool, as I noted, so…I thought we'd make a good pair."
"And did you?" said Elizabeth.
"We did." Said Blane. "We had a lot of fun together….that is until he became a little Hitler spawn."
"What about girls?" Elizabeth said. "Did he get with a lot of them? You can tell me, Steff already tells me about all the women he slept with."
"Uh…" Blane laughed nervously. "Yeah. Yeah, Steff was a man-whore."
Elizabeth laughed appreciatively. "Yes."
"What does he do now, out of curiosity?"
"Oh…he's a lawyer." Elizabeth said.
"Right. I remember. His stepfather was a lawyer."
"Your family owns McDonagh Electric?" said Elizabeth.
"Yes. That's…that's right." Said Blane.
"Hmmm." Elizabeth said. "Too bad for Steff that you didn't own a lozenge company, right?"
Blane started laughing, and she did as well.
"Uh…" said Blane. "I'm sorry…I'm terrible with…what do you mean?"
Elizabeth laughed. "He could…use one is all." She said. "You know…the way Steff sounds like he has throat cancer."
Blane started to laugh, a lot less uncertainly. "Oh…I see. I do know." He said. "Yeah, he has that low….he sounds like the devil."
Elizabeth laughed, feeling a pang of disloyalty, mixed with a strange excitement. "Yes." She said. "And it's only been exacerbated now, by…well…"
"By what?"
"Well," Elizabeth said, before she could stop herself. "Steff is…really fat now."
"Really." Said Blane. "Hmmm. Didn't picture that."
"Yes. You'd be shocked." Elizabeth said.
"Huh." Blane said. "Does he…um…everything all right at home, there?"He laughed nervously.
Elizabeth narrowed her eyes, but said sweetly. "Of course. Why wouldn't it be?"
"I don't know." Said Blane. "Just a…just a thought."
Elizabeth sniffed. "I just thought you should know."
"That he's really fat now?" Blane said. "Well, thanks. Thanks for telling me. I thought I might…die if I didn't know."
"No, I thought you should know…that Steff feels really hurt about….your estrangement. He valued your friendship, and….he's a different person now. He's made a lot of changes, and…he's a good man." Elizabeth said. "And everything is all right at home. Steff is a wonderful husband. Of course. I only said he was fat because…I like the danger that he might find out. I'm…bored, and crave excitement, you see."
"So he's not really fat, then?" Blane said.
"Oh, no. He's fat." Said Elizabeth. "Well, more like…chubby, than out and out fat."
Blane began to laugh. "Oh, my goodness. Okay. Hard to know what to say to that." He sighed. "But…to the other, I say…well, I'm not too sure that Steff really valued our friendship that much, Elizabeth."
"I am." Said Elizabeth. "Even back then, with all his flaws…he had sense enough to realize that you were the only true friend he had, Blane."
"I don't know, Elizabeth." Said Blane. "All that was a long time ago, you know."
"Is there…some other reason you're angry at Steff, Blane?" Elizabeth asked.
"What do you mean?" Blane said.
"Well…was there…was there a girl?"
"Yeah." Blane said. "Yeah, there was a girl."
"A redhead?" Elizabeth said.
"She was. Andie." Said Blane. "I guess…he must have told you that."
"He did." Elizabeth said. "But Blane. He told me that Andie liked you, and didn't like him at all."
"Right." Said Blane.
"So…what do you have to be so angry about?" Elizabeth asked. "It wasn't you who was rejected, was it?"
"No." said Blane. He sighed. "He acted like a real ass, though, always putting her down. She's a great girl. Always was. Still is, I'm sure."
"You haven't…seen her in awhile?" Elizabeth bit her lip.
"I saw her at our twentieth high school reunion a long time back. She and her husband. Didn't see Steff there, incidentally."
"Well, I can't imagine he would be." Elizabeth said. "For a number of reasons."
" Yes. Well…he really showed his true colors back then. Trying to tell me she was trash, and that I shouldn't date outside my income class, stuff like that."
"He liked her, Blane." Said Elizabeth. "Surely you must know that."
"Yeah, I know." Said Blane.
"So if he wanted to date her first, you should have known that he didn't really believe all that stuff he was saying about poor people and whatnot."
"I guess." Said Blane. "That didn't make it any easier, then, though."
"Well, why didn't you stand up to him? In a reasonable way? Tell him to mind his own business."
"I don't know." Blane said. "I was afraid of what he would have done."
"What would he have done?"
"He'd probably have asked me who the fuck I thought I was talking to."
"And…?" Elizabeth said. "That's it?"
"I don't know."
"That's what you were so afraid of?"
"Well, everyone around the school knew, Elizabeth, that there were few people you'd meet that were as unpleasant as Steff."
"But you knew he had problems. You knew his parents…weren't the best people."
"Well, we all have a sad story, I guess." Said Blane. He sighed.
"You just decided not to speak to him anymore? For thirty years?"
"After high school." Said Blane. "I decided it was best we go our separate ways. We didn't really have anything in common anymore."
Elizabeth sighed. "Are you still…angry with him about…Andie?"
"No. No, I'm not angry with anybody I knew thirty years ago, Elizabeth." Blane said. He paused for a minute, and then said. "I guess…I hate to say it, but I realized to myself that he was…a bad seed, of sorts."
"Watch it." Elizabeth said, placing her hand over her round, bulging abdomen where the two babies resided. "That's very untrue."
"Well, Elizabeth." Said Blane. "He was hell-bent on destroying himself to make his parents angry. And he might not mean to, but he would take anyone down in his path. Me included, so...I didn't need that."
"I see." Elizabeth said, sadly. It was a struggle for her not to cry, a lot of times, these days, whether it was for a legitimate reason or not, which at this moment she felt that she did.
"Blane…" she said. "Can I tell you something?"
"Uh…sure." Blane said.
Elizabeth moistened her lip, sniffling. "When…when Steff was twenty, he…" She shook her head. "I shouldn't be…but I wanted you to know…he doesn't know I'm doing this, you know."
"Oh." Said Blane.
"Calling you. Contacting…anyone from his past." She took a deep breath. "And he'd freak out if he did."
"I bet he would." Said Blane.
"I mean…he'd freak out, because he's…paranoid. About talking to people outside our…household. He's very….inwardly focused, you see."
"Oh." Blane said. "I'm surprised. He was always around people when we were in high school."
"Yes. Well." Elizabeth said. "Anyway, as unwise as it may seem…I thought you should know…just for your information."
"Okay." Blane said. "I'm listening."
"I…it's true that when Steff was younger, he did a lot of things that were very…immoral. And self-destructive. And that…took its toll on him…I guess. And he…he had had a lot of things happen. His mother died, and he'd had a girlfriend that had had an abortion, without telling him, and…anyway. He was depressed a lot, in college. I mean, clinically." She sniffed. "He told me that when he was twenty, he tried to…cut his wrists. And…I guess, after that…it was a wakeup call."
"Oh." Said Blane. "Well…"
"He didn't tell me to tell you this, you know." Elizabeth said.
"No, I know." Said Blane quietly.
"You ever read Stephen King, Blane?"
"I'm sure I did at least once. Why?"
"Well, in The Stand, there's this observation made by this character called Larry Underwood, where he says he's seen people who are in a bad way, in the case of the person in the book, drugs, but it could be applied to other situations, 'come out the other side'." Said Elizabeth." And…I think…that Stefan had to…come out the other side. Back then. Before he could turn his life around, and make the choices he made, that made him into the man he is today. Which is a very good man, Blane."
"I'm sure." Said Blane. "I'm…I'm glad, that he's doing well, I mean, he's a lawyer, and…well…he's got a wife. You have any kids?"
"We will." Said Elizabeth. "In July."
"Oh." Said Blane. "Oh, so you're pregnant."
"I am." Said Elizabeth.
"Well, congratulations, I guess." Said Blane.
"Thanks." Elizabeth said. "You have any kids?"
"I do." Said Blane. "Two daughters."
"That's very nice."Elizabeth said.
"It is." Said Blane. "This your first baby?"
"Yes." Said Elizabeth.
"Well, like I said, I'm glad he's found someone to have a family with." Blane said. "Kind of a strange someone, but…"
"You think I'm strange?" Elizabeth said.
"In the nicest way." Blane said.
"I see." Elizabeth said. "Because I called and talked to you?"
"Sort of. And because of some of the stuff you said. I mean, not the last part…the uh…" He cleared his throat. "
"Because I said he was fat? Steff?"
"Things like that. Yes." Blane said.
"Well, he is."
"Well, come to think of it, he was always eating a lot of the time, when I was around him, so I guess it caught up with him."
"Or saying some witticism about food?" Elizabeth asked.
"Yes, as a matter of fact." Blane said.
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "And I'm a baker, so…"
"Oh." Blane said. He tsked. "It's your fault."
"Maybe it is." Elizabeth said.
Blane laughed. "Well." He said. "This has been quite an interesting conversation, Elizabeth."
"For me, too." Elizabeth said.
"Good luck, with…everything." Blane said. "The baby."
"Thank you." Elizabeth said. "Same. Good luck with your life, too. And…think about giving your old friend a call, will you?"
"Maybe so." Blane said. "Maybe I will, Elizabeth."
It was late the following October, and the twins were three months old, when the phone rang. Elizabeth picked it up.
"Hello?"
"Hey. Hello there." A male voice, with a semi-laughing undertone said. "It's Blane. Remember me?"
"Of course." Elizabeth said.
"Of course." Said Blane. "Well, um…I was just checking. Calling back to see how things were. With you, and, uh…Steff."
"Good. They're good." Elizabeth said.
"Good. Have that baby?" Blane said.
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "Two, in fact. Twins."
"Oh, twins. Wow." Blane said. "Bet you're busy."
"I am. We are." Elizabeth said. "Did you think what I said over? About calling your friend?"
"I did, actually." Blane said.
"And…?"
"And here's what I'd like to do. I'd like us all to have dinner some night, so we can catch up. The two of you, and myself and my wife. What do you say?"
"I say…I'll have to talk that over with Steff, Blane." Elizabeth said. "He might…be reticent to, at first."
"Of course." Blane said. "Well, talk it over with him, then, and see what he says."
"So, he just called." Stefan said. "Out of the blue?"
"Well, not out of the blue." Elizabeth said. "He said next year is your…thirtieth reunion, and he got to thinking about how good it would be to see you again. He'd like to catch up."
"Would he?" said Stefan. "Well, I don't want to catch up with him."
"It'd be good for you, Stefan." Elizabeth said. "To see your old friend again."
"Why?" said Stefan.
"So you two can…talk over old times, and…get to see what each other is like now."
"Old times when he said I was shit?"
"Come on." Said Elizabeth. "That was one incident. You had a lot of other good times together besides that." She stroked his arm.
Stefan sighed. "Why are you Little Miss…Cheerleader, all of a sudden, Elizabeth?" he said.
"What?" Elizabeth said.
"I mean…what is it with the phony, overly cheerful, sales pitch-like tone you've got in your voice, all of a sudden? I don't like it."
"What are you talking about, Stefan?" Elizabeth said. "You're sounding a little…crazy. Need some meds?"
"It just sounds like the tone of liar, to me." Stefan said. Elizabeth shook her head. "You could hardly be unaware of the fact that I wouldn't find such a situation pleasant at all. You know very well that Blane and I haven't spoken for almost thirty years. Why are you pretending as though none of that matters?"
"I'm not." Said Elizabeth.
"Sometimes, you sound like someone I don't even know, Elizabeth." Said Stefan.
"What do you mean?" said Elizabeth.
"I mean that you sound like you're trying to put up a front, Lizzie." Said Stefan. "I wish that you would just be straightforward with me. Why are you always trying to goad me into doing things I don't want to do, and pretend that it's good for me, and that I want to do it."
"Is that what you think of me?" Elizabeth said. "That I pretend that I think it's good for you?"
"I think things like this are really what you want, is all, Lizzie."
"Well, it's not." Elizabeth said. "I want to help you. I want to try to reunite you with your old friend, is all." She sniffed. "I'm doing this for you, and you accuse me of…of pretending that I want to help you."
Stefan sighed. "Lizzie…I appreciate your wanting to help, I really do." He shook his head. "Did you…talk with him? Blane?"
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "I did, as a matter of fact."
"And did he ask who you were? To me?"
"He did." Said Elizabeth. "I told him I was your wife. Who couldn't remember all that stuff that happened with you…because…well, I was one year old."
"Did you now?" said Stefan. "Of course you did."
Elizabeth smiled, shaking her head. "No, not really." She sighed. "We don't have to. I'll tell him no. He asked me to call back, when I spoke to you."
"What else did you talk about, with him?" said Stefan.
"I told him…we had twin girls." Said Elizabeth. "And that you were a lawyer now. Stuff like that."
"Not getting too chummy, were you?" Stefan said. "With him?"
"Of course not." Elizabeth said. "Why, are you afraid I'll…like him better, like-
"Don't be stupid, Elizabeth." Stefan said irritably. "I just know how…overly curious you can be about things such as this."
Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "Must you talk about me like I'm some…pet, or a baby, or mildly retarded?"
"I was doing no such thing, Lizzie." He shook his head. "It might be…interesting, I suppose."
"You mean…you want to do it?" said Elizabeth. "You want to meet up with him again?"
"I guess." Said Stefan. He shook his head. "I just can't figure out for the life of me, what would make him call after all these years."
Elizabeth began to feel that nervous, prickly feeling, that she always felt, when she was trying to hide something from Stefan, which, wasn't often, but when she did, the feeling of dread inside was almost tangible. She didn't want Stefan to know that it was she who had contacted Blane, there would almost certainly be hell to pay if he did, and besides, she truly wanted him to believe that it had been Blane's idea, that Blane had truly missed him after all these years, because she did want the two to become good friends again.
But Stefan, to her relief, was not giving her any grey wolf-like looks, as he surely would have been doing, if he suspected her of even withholding an iota of information from him. Instead, he looked lost in thought, and a little sad. She cleared her throat.
"I guess…" she said. "Maybe he's always…hoped you'd still be friends after all these years. Someday."
"Maybe." Stefan said.
"You should tell him…how everybody calls you the grey wolf now." Elizabeth said. "What a kick-ass attorney you are now. Make sure he knows…you're not to be reckoned with." She bit her lip, unsettling thoughts that she'd had about the dubious nobility of Blane's reasons for returning her call resurfacing, which she had been pushing to the back of her mind all day.
"I guess." Said Stefan.
"Yes." Elizabeth said. She put her hand on his. "You're so…fearsome, that sometimes, even I'm afraid."
"Really." Stefan said. He smiled wryly at her. "Why is it I can't get you to behave the way I want you to, then?"
"I know it seems that way." Elizabeth said. She bit her lip. "But…I'm really terrified. I can only hope that you'll be quelled by the fact that…I'm everything a big, bad wolf could want." She put her hand on his.
"Indeed you are." Stefan said. He smoothed back her hair. "And what…big, lovely blue eyes you have, Lizzie."
Elizabeth smiled, but a mischievous light danced in her blue eyes. "Why, Grandmother." Elizabeth said. "What especially…bad emphysema you seem to be having today."
"Best watch yourself." Said Stefan. "I tear the throats out of rabbits. I might tear the throats out of chipmunks, too, if the mood strikes."
"Well." Said Elizabeth to Blane, over the phone the next day. "He's agreed for us all to have dinner. I'm happy to say."
"Good." Said Blane.
"Yes." Said Elizabeth. She bit her lip. "I…certainly…hope you won't tell him. How I said he's fat, before."
"Oh, I wouldn't do that." Blane said, but she picked up on a faint trace of laughter in his voice.
"I'm glad." Said Elizabeth. "Because…if you did, I'd…I'd have to tell him how you said he was a man-whore."
"I said that?" Blane said. He laughed. "I guess I did. But what about how you said he sounds like he's got throat cancer?"
"Hmmm." Elizabeth said. "Looks like I've got more to be afraid of than you do."
"Doesn't it, though?" said Blane. "Throat cancer. That's pretty good, though. I won't soon forget that."
"I'm glad it…amused you, Blane." Elizabeth said. She bit her lip.
"Don't worry." Said Blane. "Secret's safe with me."
"I'm glad." Said Elizabeth. "Wouldn't want to do anything…to damage your reunion with your old friend, now would you?"
"No." said Blane. "No, I wouldn't."
"In all seriousness…" said Elizabeth. "Steff can't know that it was me who first contacted you."
"Why not?" said Blane.
"Because…I'd like him to think that you really felt pangs of auld lang syne."
"Old anxiety?" Blane said.
"No, I said-
"I know." Blane said. "Mine is more accurate, though."
"Still afraid of Steff, Blane?" said Elizabeth. "After all these years?"
"No, I'm not afraid of Steff." Blane said. "That's a certainty."
"That would be pretty silly." Said Elizabeth. "Wouldn't it?"
"Sure would." Said Blane. "But in all seriousness, Elizabeth…it was all my idea. Okay?"
"Yes, it was." Said Elizabeth. "And you do. Want to talk with Steff again. Right?"
"I do." Said Blane. A moment's silence passed.
"You…care about Steff a lot." Said Blane. "I can tell."
"Yes." Said Elizabeth. "Very much."
"You know…" Blane said. "You…have a very lovely voice. I thought so when you called before."
"Oh." Said Elizabeth. A feeling of unease stirred inside her. "Thanks, I guess."
"The way you sound reminds me a little of that actress, Drew Barrymore. You know the one?"
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "Of course. And she was…in Firestarter and Cat's Eye. Two Stephen King adaptations, you know."
"Oh, really?" said Blane. "I didn't know that. That's interesting."
"Yes. As a child." Said Elizabeth. She cleared her throat. "Steff always says I…have a very girlish sounding voice."
"I'm sure he does." Said Blane.
"He always says…I look like a chipmunk, too." Said Elizabeth. "Because I have round cheeks."
"Sounds like him." Blane said. "He always said…I reminded him of an adult embryo, featurewise. I remember that."
Elizabeth laughed.
"But of course, that was in…tenth grade. I'm sure I…won't be hearing that sort of thing when we have dinner. Right?"
"Hopefully not." Said Elizabeth. "Helen, this paralegal who works for him, said to me that she thinks he's a lovely person. Those were her words. And she was right. He is."
"Uh…glad to know." Said Blane. "So…Saturday then?"
"Yes." Said Elizabeth. "Saturday."
"And I hope," Elizabeth said, after they settled on a time and place to meet for dinner. "that you'll enjoy seeing your old friend again. Didn't you ever…hope to meet him again, someday?"
"I always thought that I might." Said Blane. "Of course I can't say that without adding…I always have been somewhat of a pessimist."
"Have you?" said Elizabeth.
"Just a little joke, Elizabeth."
"Very little." Said Elizabeth.
"I don't know. I think you thought it was pretty funny." Said Blane. "I'm sure you know better than anybody…that Steff can be kind of a pain."
"Well…" said Elizabeth. "I believe that a more joyful life can be achieved…when you learn to embrace every spectrum of life. Including pain."
"Of course." Said Blane. "Good…philosophy. I'll remember it, when I'm having to deal with Steff, this week. Which was my idea. Of course. But you and I know…you're the puppeteer, orchestrating this whole thing, don't we? You're the one pulling the strings, of us reuniting."
"Oh, Blane." Said Elizabeth. "Sweet little Lizzie wouldn't try to put strings on Steff, don't you know that?"
"No, I…don't suppose she would." Said Blane. "I don't suppose she would."
The next Saturday, Elizabeth and Stefan left the twins with a sitter, and headed for the restaurant where they were meeting Blane and his wife. Stefan looked quite tense, and was still very apprehensive about the whole thing.
"I'd like us to have a code." Stefan said, on their way in the car. "In case we need to leave. If I feel that we need to leave."
Elizabeth sighed, and rolled her eyes. "Stefan, is that really nec-
"Yes!" Stefan snapped, a harsh, tense tone in his voice that always made her feel a kind of queasy trepidation, though not for herself, but rather for him, since he sounded frighteningly close to a nervous breakdown at these times, to her.
"It's necessary." He said more calmly. "If I feel like…things are going sour. And he…might pose a threat. Of any kind. To us. That they might."
"Okay." Said Elizabeth.
"We'll need to have a code. A code word." Said Stefan. "What should it be?"
"I don't know, Stefan." Said Elizabeth. "What…do you think it should be?"
"What about…orchid?" said Stefan. "Like the one I have in my office. If I say the word 'orchid' to you, at any time during dinner, you'll excuse yourself to the restroom. And…after returning, you'll say to…Blane, and his wife, that the babysitter called to say that she can't get one of the babies to stop crying, and needs us to come home, immediately. After which we'll say our goodbyes, and then leave."
Elizabeth sighed. "Why can't I just…go to the restroom, and then say that, if-
"Because it would be my call to make, Elizabeth." Stefan said, looking at her as though she'd just said something staggeringly illogical and absurd.
"Oh. I see." Said Elizabeth. "So we need a code word. For…that."
"Of course we do." Said Stefan.
"Think we'll need it?" Elizabeth said.
"I hope not, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "But it never hurts to be prepared, does it?"
"I guess it doesn't." she said. She glanced at him. "You nervous?"
"I am." Said Stefan. "Very."
"Why?" said Elizabeth.
"Because…" Stefan said. "This is…this is a very unusual situation. For me. And also, this is a person who I…have very mixed feelings towards, Elizabeth."
Elizabeth sighed. She patted his arm. "Don't be nervous, Stefan."
"Elizabeth, I'd rather you didn't…touch me, in public." Stefan said.
Elizabeth laughed incredulously, her tongue in the side of her mouth, and gazed in the direction of her window, at a car that was parked next to them in the restaurant parking lot of the restaurant at which they were meeting Blane. "Really." She said.
"Elizabeth." Stefan said. "This is serious." He put his hands against the steering wheel, gripping it tightly. Almost in a death grip, in fact. Elizabeth swallowed, licking her lips nervously, looking at how white his knuckles were at that moment.
"Stefan, don't you think you better…take it easy?" she said apprehensively, hesitating before saying her next sentence. "I mean, don't you think a man of your…substance-
"Substance?" Stefan said. He looked at her like she was crazy.
"I mean…" Elizabeth said. "Aren't you worried a man of your age, and we-
"Oh." Stefan said. "Oh, I see. More fat jokes, of course. Nice, huh? Very adult."
"What joke?" Elizabeth said. "Stefan, I'm not joking. I'm worried that you might have a stroke right now. Who would help me take care of Amy and Fran?"
"Oh, please, Elizabeth." Stefan said. He shook his head.
"Well." Elizabeth said. "I know you said that I can't touch you, but I'm really worried about how on edge you seem, Stefan."
"Don't worry, Lizzie." Said Stefan. He still looked like he was in a fog, and about to lose his mind, simultaneously. Elizabeth gazed at him worriedly, shaking her head.
"Here," she said, reaching into her purse. "Have a mint." She held out a tin in his direction, shaking it towards him.
"Why?" Stefan said accusatorily. "You're saying I have bad breath?"
"Oh, my word." Elizabeth said in disbelief, covering her eyes up with a hand for a moment to recover herself. She let out a breath. "No." she said in response. "I'm not. I just thought a mint might calm you down. That's all."
Stefan looked at her, somewhat remorsefully. He wordlessly opened the lid of the tin, unfortunately, a second later, his hand slipped, knocking the tin from her hand, spilling mints all over the floor of the car. Stefan's shoulders sagged, for a moment. He shook his head, and silently began picking the spilled mints off the floor.
"Stefan." Elizabeth said worriedly. "Stefan!"
"What?" Stefan said irritably.
"Stefan, listen to me. You're a grey wolf." Stefan sighed, shaking his head, putting the spilled mints back in the tin. "Stefan, would you forget about those stupid mints for just one second."
"You want them ground into the carpet? Because I don't." Stefan said.
"That's not what matters right now." Elizabeth said. She put her hands on his shoulders. "I hate to defy orders, but…"
Stefan looked at her, a faint hint of a doleful smile on his face. "Uh huh."
"Stefan." Elizabeth said. "For goodness sakes. You're a grown man. Not only a grown man, but…well, you know. A predatory animal." She shook her head. "You're going to let yourself be unbent by a…mere…embryo?"
Stefan let out a short chuckle, shaking his head. "Oh, it's not him, Elizabeth, it's…" He trailed off. "Well, maybe it is. After all, this is a person…I haven't seen for a long time, who my last dealings with were…very hostile, and unpleasant. You can see why I might be a little insecure about things."
"Well, stop being insecure." Elizabeth said. "You're a very successful, intelligent…respectable, charming guy. You have nothing to worry about."
"Maybe not." Stefan said. He looked at the floor sadly for a moment, then looked suddenly at her. "I have one thing he doesn't, don't I? I have you."
"Yes." Said Elizabeth. "You have me. You really do."
"Of course," Stefan said tersely. "If you don't want me to be insecure about seeing Blane, maybe it would help if you didn't talk about 'a man of your substance'. Think it might?" He glanced at her abruptly, shaking his head, a sardonic, and also incredulous, sort of what she would term a leer on his face.
"Stefan, I was genuinely worrying you might have a heart attack or a stroke or something. I worry about you, being overweight like you are."
"Please, Elizabeth." Stefan said. He made a scoffing noise, then glance over at her. "There was amusement in your voice. You greatly enjoyed saying it."
"Oh, there was not." Elizabeth said.
"There was."
"Maybe that was something else." Elizabeth said. "After all, you know how turned on I get by chubby-
"All right, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "Could you at least put a lid on that sort of thing, until we get this over with, please?"
"All right." She shrugged. "Besides, you haven't seen what Blane looks like now, himself. He could be chubby, for all you know."
Blane was not, as she saw, when he approached them in the front of the restaurant, chubby. Just the opposite, in fact, he was quite slender. A bit too, in fact, in her opinion.
"Well." Blane said when he saw them, smiling cordially. "Steff."
"Blane." Stefan replied stiffly.
"It's great to see you." Said Blane. He smiled, beckoning in the direction of the woman beside him, a tall, fortyish blonde, with a slight pug nose, though otherwise very attractive, and, like him, well-dressed. "This is my wife, Patty."
Patty extended her hand towards Stefan. "Hello." She said. "Blane has told me so much about you. He's really looked forward to this. Seeing you again."
"Oh." Stefan said. "Well-" He interrupted himself by sneezing loudly.
"Oh, my goodness." Said Patty. She smiled worriedly. "Well-"
"Allergies?" Blane said to Stefan, smiling.
"Yes, yes." Stefan replied resignedly. He shook his head.
"Of course." Blane said. "I remember. See?"
"Glad of it." Stefan said, cutting his eyes to Blane grimly. He cleared his throat, remembering himself, and smiled apologetically at Patty.
"But, I'm very sorry about that, Patty, it isn't exactly a terrific way to be greeted by anyone, is it?" He smiled a brisk, though by no means cold, smile at her.
"Don't be." Patty said smiling. "No offense taken."
"Of course," Stefan said. "This is my wife, Elizabeth, Patty, and…Blane." He said, raising an eyebrow in ever so slight disdain at the last word.
Patty smiled, and said hello, as did Blane, extending his hand in greeting, and his face offered no trace of the slightly snarky nature of their phone conversations, and less so any editorializations either of them had made regarding their mutual acquaintance. Instead, he smiled, a polite, unassuming smile at her, though she thought she saw a slight gleam of knowing avidity in his eye, upon closer inspection.
"Elizabeth. Of course." Blane said. "We spoke on the phone, I recall. Blane McDonagh."
"Nice to meet you, Blane." Elizabeth replied, also betraying no sign of their prior exchanges, a calm, courteous smile decorating her face.
"So you're a lawyer." Blane said, when they were seated at a table. "Elizabeth tells me you and her father are partners?"
"Yes." Stefan said. "That's right." He glanced morosely down at his plate.
Elizabeth looked at him, pursing her lips, and then looked back at Blane and Patty. "That's how we met, you see." She said. "My dad wanted me to get together with Stefan. He thinks he's a swell guy, but I wasn't so sure. At first." She looked at Stefan, who looked perpetually sour, and also as though he was about to have a tooth extracted. She smiled, a tight-lipped smile, and shrugged, looking at Blane, who smiled, still politely, but she could see a few traces of that amused sound she'd heard on the phone, starting to seep through on his face. His eyes flickered to his glass.
"But," Elizabeth continued. "I came around. And everything's lovely. And has been, for the past three years."
"Really?" Blane said, smiling at her, but his eyes flicked to Stefan. "Dads…think you're a great guy, Steff?" He cleared his throat. "Don't…remember that happening often, way back when."
"Well, they all loved you, though, didn't they, Blane?" Stefan said flatly. "You're a guy they can all take home to their fathers." He glanced in the direction of the wall.
"Oh, I don't know about that, right, Patty?" Blane said, looking at his wife. Patty laughed uncertainly, casting a puzzled glance over at Stefan briefly.
Elizabeth cleared her throat. "Yes. You guys ever read Stephen King?"
"Oh, dear, he we go." Stefan said, shaking his head, and saying something in a lower tone of voice that she couldn't quite make out.
"What was that?" Elizabeth said, turning to him.
"Uh..I believe he said, 'Indoctrinate them, why don't you.'" Said Blane. "Elizabeth."
"Oh." Said Elizabeth, looking at Stefan, who wouldn't meet her eyes. "Oh. I see. That's very nice." She sniffed. "Well. I'm glad you translated it for me, Blane."
"Yes." Blane said.
"Lord knows, sometimes we've all got to…crank our old hearing aids up to eleven, whenever Stefan speaks in his lower register. It can be an arduous difficulty, at first, though." She looked at him, smiling sweetly. He did not return her smile. Blane, she noticed, had a hand pressed to his temple, and was barely suppressing a smile. He straightened up quickly however.
"Yes." Blane said. "Well…glad to help." He cleared his throat, glancing at Patty again, who continued to look uncomfortable.
"Anyway, I was about to say, that my dad and everyone around their law practice called Stefan 'Mr. Grey', which, I happened to know, was the name of the alien villain in the book Dreamcatcher."
"Oh, I've seen that movie." Blane said. "Morgan Freeman, right?"
"Yes." Elizabeth said. "It's a good movie. Good book, too. One of my favorites. But I was apprehensive of Stefan, because of this."
"I see." Said Blane. "Sounds about on target to me."
"Well, he is weird and a little scary…but I don't think he wants to put alien worms in the water. I don't think."
"You never can tell." Said Blane.
"Indeed." Elizabeth said. "No, of course, it's very true, like dad, and Helen, and Clarence, those are people that work for them, not to mention all the clients, say, he's a good lawyer, and a good man." She looked down at the table, biting her lip.
"No, no, I was just kidding, Steff, of course Elizabeth is right. You're a good man, and I'm sure you're a very good law-
"Am I?" Stefan interrupted. "I thought I was shit."
"What?" Blane said.
"Isn't that one of the last things you said to me, before you decided not to speak to me again? At our senior prom, as I recall it."
"Steff, I don't know." Blane said tiredly. "I don't even remember."
"Well, I do." Said Stefan. "I remember it quite well. I remember the name of the baker that I stole raspberry bismarcks from, in the sixth grade, and you don't think I'd remember a thing like what you said?"
"Oh, well, since you brought up the subject Steff, now I do remember his name. Mr. Zapota." He took a sip of water. "Know what else, I remember, is the inside of my room, for an entire month, after he told my mother what we did. Because you talked me into being your accomplice, friend. That I do remember."
"So." Said Stefan. "Why didn't you ever have the guts to stand up to me, then Blane? Or your mother, for that matter?"
"Because you wouldn't let me. You practically told me what toothpaste to use. You were hell to deal with, Steff, and as for my mother, she is truly irrelevant to this conversation. And-
"You're right. It is irrelevant." Stefan said. "Let's get back on the subject of how you behaved about that, girl, what was her name?"
"Oh, you know, very well, what her name is, Steff." Said Blane, shaking his head.
"You're right." Stefan said. "I certainly do. And I can plainly see exactly how smashing that one worked out for you, didn't it, Blane? I can see right, in front of my face, that she's your true soul mate, the only woman you could ever be with in your life. No offense, Patty."
"Well, none taken, but-"
"Well, that's hardly the point, now, is it Steff?" Blane interrupted his wife. "The point is that she was a decent girl, and you behaved like a perfect shitheel…no offense meant, Elizabeth."
"Uh-"
"Oh, there's no need to treat Elizabeth like a delicate sugar plum, Blane, I'm sure she's heard the word 'shitheel', before, and-"
"From you?" said Blane, as Patty adjusted her earring, and Elizabeth rested one side of her head on her hand, and stared into space.
"Maybe." Said Stefan. "But truly, I don't care about Andie, or anyone else you dated, for that matter. What matters to me, is the fact that you decided not to speak to me for thirty years." He shook his head.
"Steff," Blane said. "You didn't exactly make life easy for me, back in those days, you know." He shook his head. "In fact, Andie wasn't the only one that you tried to tell me not to date, not to hang out with, not to this, not to that. And your favorite thing to do was to get me in trouble with my parents. Oh, oh, and then-" Blane said, over some none-too-subtle sighs of frustration from Patty. "And then, you would always be trying to use my fear of the same parents you railed against for keeping me under lock and key, against me. Threatening me with what they would think, and how I better step lively, lest my parents find out something I wanted to do, that you didn't want me to do. Including date Andie."
"Well-"
"Let's face it, you were a real bully, Steff." Said Blane. "You've got a real bullying personality there. Guess that's why you became an attorney, huh?"
"Well, why did you have such a fear of your parents, Blane?" said Stefan. "Answer me that. Why did you care so much what they thought? Do you still?"
"That's an entirely inappropriate question, Steff, and anyway, it was none of your business then, and it certainly isn't now."
"I guess the answer is yes, then." Said Stefan.
"That mouth of yours has gotten you into a world of trouble, and it seems you haven't done much to clamp it down, Steff." Blane shook his head in irritation.
"And why did you care so much about what I and our friends thought of you dating Andie, anyway?" Stefan said. "I seem to recall you breaking up with her, before prom, all on your own? I didn't force you to do that."
"Well, you might as well have, Steff."
"Yeah, yeah, sure." Said Steff. "Because you have…had no will of your own. You were spineless, Blane." He shook his head. "I seem to remember Andie whaled the tar out of you in the hall for breaking up with her. Remember that?"
Patty cleared her throat. "You know what, boys." She said pointedly. "I think we really need to change the subject now. Why don't we talk about something a little more pleasant?" She looked from one to the other.
"Indeed." Elizabeth said. "Change the subject. Please."
"Well, since we were asked so nicely, Blane, what do you say we just let it go?" Stefan said.
"You're the boss, Steff." Said Blane. "As always."
"Thank you." Stefan said dryly. There was an awkward silence for a moment. "How are Bill and Joyce doing, anyway?" Stefan said.
"Oh, they're just fine, Steff." Blane said. "Dad's in his seventies now, but he still heads up the board of directors. Still active. Still plays tennis every week. Still married to Mom, of course. They just celebrated their golden anniversary last year, in fact."
"Good. That's good." Stefan said quietly. He paused for a moment, before adding. "And you, you're the…vice president? Of McDonagh Electric?"
"Yes." Blane said. "That's right."
"Well." Said Stefan. "I'm…I'm glad, Blane. I'm glad to hear that."
"Thank you." Blane said. "I'm glad, too..it's…I'm lucky. To have the life I do, with…with Patty, and the girls, and my job. It's a great thing." He looked down at the table.
"Of course it is. It's a great thing. Work, and family." He placed his hand over Elizabeth's.
"Yes. Very much." Said Blane. "How's…how are your…parents, Steff?"
"Well, my mother died when I was in college, and my stepfather and I haven't spoken since. He disowned me, in fact." He sighed, and shook his head. "I saw this Far Side cartoon once, with the caption 'Classic Conversation Stoppers'. I guess I've always got one ready, don't I?"
"No, not at all…I for one don't think so, Steff." Patty volunteered, looking at Blane. "Do you?"
"No, no." Blane said.
"Oh, come on now Blane. In fact, I think that that used to be my nickname. Conversation Stopper Steff, they called me."
"Yeah…yeah, that and a few other things." Said Blane.
"Indeed." Said Stefan, but he looked at Blane reprovingly. "But I guess…a lot of people in my life stopped speaking to me. Didn't they?" Patty cleared her throat. "But of course, I guess we're not allowed to talk about that."
"Probably best we don't, Steff." Blane said. He looked at Steff, a frowning little sadly, and looked as though he were going to say something else, but didn't.
"So." Said Steff, after the waitress brought the meal. "I thought you left Chicago."
"Well, I did, but funny thing, they allowed me to come back, Steff." He shook his head. "No, I lived in Washington, D.C., for awhile, that's where I went to school. Then I worked in various in jobs, in sales for awhile, before I went to work for my dad."
"Did you enjoy doing that?" Stefan asked. "Being a salesman?"
"I did." Said Blane. "I try to…have a positive outlook about everything I do. If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right, right?"
"Of course." Said Stefan. "And Patty..? How did you two meet?"
"We met in college, through a mutual friend of ours, what was his name? Bill? Bill…?"
"Hicks." Patty replied.
"Hicks. Right. Bill Hicks. Not to be confused with the comedian of the same name." said Blane.
"Oh, that comedian." Elizabeth said. "You know, he always reminded me of Stefan, a bit."
"Oh, well, I hadn't thought of that, but maybe." Said Blane.
"And of course, he had a lot of the same politics as Stefan has, very left-wing." Elizabeth said. "Very…anti-marketing, anti-corporate. Stuff like that."
"Oh." Said Blane. "Yeah. Well, he was really funny. Was. He's dead, isn't he?"
"Yeah, he died of cancer, way back when. I remember that. I was in high school, I think."
"Cancer, yeah. Too bad." Blane shook his head, his eyes flickered on hers for a second, and then she saw a faint amused expression on his face again.
"Yeah, what kind of cancer did he die of, anyway?" said Blane. "Elizabeth?"
"Hmmm?" Elizabeth said. "What kind?"
"Yeah." Said Blane. He paused for a moment, and looked like he was considering. "What kind? Of cancer?"
"Oh…I believe it was pancreatic." Elizabeth replied. She looked at him. "Why?"
"Oh…well, he was always smoking onstage, so I thought it might be another kind. Like uh…throat, maybe." He looked at her.
"No, no, I'm pretty sure it was pancreatic, Blane." Elizabeth said. She studiously avoided looking at Stefan, in the vain hope that he might not take notice.
"Oh, really." Blane said innocently. "Huh. Could've sworn I heard it was throat cancer. Oh, well." He smiled at her. Elizabeth shook her head.
Stefan patted Elizabeth's hand. "I see someone's catty little mouth has been quite busy, Lizzie."
Elizabeth cleared her throat. "Stefan likes to instill a sense of dread." She informed Blane, looking at him pointedly.
"Oh." Blane said uncomfortably. He looked at the table, then back up at her. "Oh, you mean…that would be something he's…that you guys have…"He cleared his throat. "That's…too bad I….that's…" He sucked in a breath, saying nothing else.
"He would be privy to my thoughts on that expression, that begins with 't.c,' Blane." Elizabeth shook her head. "And not 'Tony Curtis'." She looked at Stefan, who was biting his lip, shaking his head in dismay at her.
"Tony Curtis?" said Blane. "Should I ask?"
"He thinks he looks like him." Elizabeth said. "I can't tell you how many times I've had to watch Some Like It Hot." She shook her head. "Anyway, good going, Blane."
"Well." Blane said. "If I'd known that it was going to create such an…awkward moment, I never would have said it."
"Thought it'd go over my head, did you?" said Stefan.
"I didn't think you…you know what? Never mind. It was just a joke, Steff." He shook his head.
"Well, it's not your fault, Blane." Stefan said, pointing his head in Elizabeth's direction. "It's hers."
"Well, I don't know about all-"
"Oh, but I do know, Blane." Said Stefan. He put his arm around Elizabeth's shoulder, and squeezed, rocking her back and forth, looking at Blane all the while. "And, since I have, as you said, a bullying personality, I'm afraid I'm going to have to take Elizabeth home, and knock her around a little bit." He put his head against hers, a bit roughly, but she knew he was only joking. She did her best to look timid and apprehensive, just to make Blane squirm for what he'd done to her and looked tremulously up at Blane, who was doing his best to actually pretend, in her viewing, at least, that he was uncertain of Stefan's temperament.
He cleared his throat. "All right, then, Steff. Like I said, it was just a joke, now why don't we let bygones be-"
"What's the matter with you, Blane, you don't actually think that this one's beaten down and cowed by me, do you?" Stefan said. "She's a saucy little minx."
"Yeah, I…figured." Blane said. "But as to you having a bullying personality, well…you do. Or you did. Doesn't look to me like you've been any too cowed by the years, yourself, though."
"I certainly would not be described as 'cowed', Blane." Stefan said. "But I have changed a great deal."
"Good, good." Blane said. "I hope so."
"I'm glad you got what hoped, then, Blane." He shook his head in irritation. "But you know what? I feel that I deserve an apology. You should…it hurt me a great deal, that you stopped speaking to me, after high school. I had a lot of superficial friends, back in my youth, but you were the only one that meant anything to me. I cared a great deal for you, and after you stopped talking to me, it was clear that our friendship to you was less than nothing." Stefan said, and even Elizabeth flinched at the sharp, bitter hurt of his tone, and Patty looked off to the side uneasily. Blane looked down at the tablecloth for a moment.
He sighed, shaking his head sadly. "Steff, you'd been…self-destructing for years. I mean…everyone said, I should quit hanging around with you. Including my mother. I mean, she'd been vocal about it since we were in kindergarten."
"Well, she was a bitch, Blane." Stefan said. Patty's eyes flicked down at the tablecloth her mouth twitching upwards almost imperceptibly, and Stefan glanced over at her. "And I bet Patty agrees with me."
"Still got that lack of a filter, huh, Steff?" said Blane, shaking his head.
"All right, maybe I shouldn't have said that." Said Stefan.
"Maybe you shouldn't have indeed." Blane said.
"All right." Patty said. "Let's not start this whole thing up again."
"But Blane," Stefan said quietly, frowning deeply. "I can care a great deal about people in my life who disapprove of me, and I don't mind if they express their opinions, in fact, I respect a person who will be honest enough with me to tell me if I'm in the wrong. I can still respect, and even love, a person who has a negative opinion of me." He shook his head sadly. "But not people who just decide to cut me out of their lives, and stop speaking to me."
Patty studied him thoughtfully. "That was…very moving, Steff." She looked at her husband. "Wasn't it, Blane?"
"Yeah…" Blane sighed. "Look, I guess maybe I should have….called, or written, at least once. You're right. Okay?"
"At least once, would have been good." Stefan.
"Yeah. Yes. So…I guess…I'm sorry. Okay?" said Blane. "About my…actions when we were younger. Deciding not to speak to you, and all."
"All right. Well, I accept your apology, Blane." Stefan said. "We don't…need to talk of it anymore."
"Good." Said Blane. "Let's not, then."
"Good." Elizabeth said, cutting her eyes to Blane, who had a still amused, but slightly more wary expression on his face. "You can…tell us all stories about how horrible Stefan was, then Blane. I mean…he said he won't mind."
"Well, I don't know, Elizabeth." Blane replied. "I think the restaurant probably closes eventually, so I'm not sure we'd have enough time to go into proper depth."
Later, in the parking lot, they were all standing in front of the McDonaghs' car, saying their goodbyes.
"You know, Stefan had an Indian roommate in law school, who said in his country, Stefan has what they call 'the analog of the wolf'." Elizabeth informed Blane. "That's what they all called him. 'The Grey Wolf'."
"Oh." Blane laughed, shaking his head. "Yeah, for sure Steff has the analog of the wolf. I can really see how that'd work."
"Indeed." Elizabeth said. She looked at Stefan, but he shook his head, looking amused.
"And I apologize for…the throat cancer thing. I shouldn't have-"
"Oh, I don't think you need to apologize to me, Elizabeth." Blane replied.
"Uh huh. Well." Elizabeth said. "It's a wonder he doesn't. Isn't it true, Blane, that Stefan started smoking in the sixth grade?"
"Oh, that's true, all right." Blane said. "That's very true. And more often than not, he'd be doing it right out in the halls, with seemingly no inhibition about getting caught."
"Oh, wow." Elizabeth said in mock astonishment.
"Yeah, he was always walking around with a cigarette in his hand, wherever he went, and sometimes, he'd just drop the cigarette butt just…about ten feet from the principal's office." Said Blane. Elizabeth shook her head, smiling.
"Yep. He was really something else, all right." Said Blane. He shook his head, smiling a little. "No, no. Steff's a great guy, really."
"Yes, he is." Elizabeth agreed, taking Stefan's hand.
"And really…it was great seeing you again, Steff." Blane said. "We'll have to do this again sometime."
"Uh huh." Steff said, smiling, but looking a little sad, as he did. He patted his shoulder. "We will."
"Well." Elizabeth said, when they were on the way home. "That was…fun wasn't it?"
"For you." Stefan replied.
"Oh, Stefan…" Elizabeth shook her head. "You know it was great, seeing your old friend again. "
"In some ways." Stefan said.
"It was." Elizabeth said. "And he cares for you…in his own way. I can tell."
"You don't care for him, in…your own way, do you, Elizabeth?" Stefan looked at her, eyes wide with paranoid worry.
Elizabeth sighed. "No, Stefan." She said, shaking her head.
"You think that he's slimmer than me?" Stefan said. "Don't you?"
"I think that he's slimmer than everyone, Stefan." Elizabeth replied.
Stefan shook his head. "You think he's aged better than me?"
"No, Stefan." Elizabeth said. "I certainly don't."
"He's got kind of a mousy wife, that's for sure." Stefan said. "Very nice, but…mousy."
"Oh, I think she was pretty." Elizabeth said. "She liked you. I could tell. She was all charmed up."
"Oh, I don't think so, Elizabeth." Stefan said.
"Oh, don't be so modest." Elizabeth said. "I mean, don't we all eventually succumb to your charm, eventually? It's like that song, by Karen Carpenter, 'Why Do Birds Suddenly Appear'?"
"Is it?" Stefan said, glancing at her. "You're telling on yourself, Lizzie."
"Oh, I didn't mean…me personally." Elizabeth said coyly. "I'm immune, of course."
"Of course you are." Stefan said. He glanced at her. "Nice to know that you said to Blane that I sound as though I have throat cancer."
"It just slipped out, accidentally." Elizabeth said. "And he…thought it was funny."
"Well, of course he did." Said Stefan. "He delights in insulting me. As you can see."
"He doesn't mean anything by it, Stefan." Elizabeth said.
"Uh huh. Glad to know that you're so…in tune with one another, that you have little jokes. About me."
"We're not 'in tune' with one another, Stefan." Elizabeth said, rolling her eyes.
"You're not in love with him, are you, Elizabeth?" Stefan asked.
"Head over heels." Elizabeth said. "I just saw that…silly, embryonic face, and those darting…nervous looking eyes, and I thought, 'Yeah! I'm going to leave Stefan for him tonight, if he'll have me.'" She looked at him. "Isn't that absurd."
"He likes you, I'm sure of it." Stefan snorted. "That's why he said that, about 'throat cancer'. He wants to flirt with you."
"Oh, he just wants to make jokes about you, I'm sure, Stefan."
"I wouldn't be so naïve, Elizabeth." Stefan said. "Of course he'd be attracted to a pretty, young thing such as yourself."
"Not that young." Elizabeth demurred. "I'll be thirty…way sooner than I want to be. Way, way sooner."
"Younger than him." Said Stefan. "Not to mention his mousy wife."
"I'm sure that's not true, Stefan." Elizabeth said. "He's your friend."
"Well, he's too much of a wimp to try to steal you, anyway." Stefan said. "Though, as you can probably see…he's a sly wimp. He pretends he's docile, but he's insinuating. Very insinuating."
" 'Steal me'?" Elizabeth said. "Like I was property?"
"Oh, you know what I mean, Elizabeth." Stefan said.
"I don't know…but I don't want it to be true." Elizabeth said. "I want you two to be on…good terms."
"Oh, we will be, as long as you don't have any kind of attraction to him." Said Stefan.
"Well, rest assured, I don't."
"Well, why did you make jokes at my expense to him, Elizabeth?" Stefan said. "It's one thing for you to say it to me, but not to him."
"Oh, Stefan." Elizabeth responded. "It was never…I really said it because…I like the danger. That you might find out that I said it. I like feeling afraid of you, you see. It's…sexy."
"Oh." Stefan said. "Well."
"I said it because…I think it's sexy the way you have that raspy…drone." Elizabeth said. "You know that. A wimp like Blane doesn't get the joke, you see."
"No. I…I guess not, Elizabeth." Stefan said, casting a glance over at her.
Elizabeth licked her lips nervously, feeling some strong pangs of guilt over the other thing that she'd said to Blane on the phone, that might not be met with such good humor, no matter her intent in saying them. "And…for you to think that I would want some…breakable twig, like your boy Blane?" Elizabeth said.
"He's in good shape. I'll give him that." Stefan said.
"I don't want a slender guy like him." Elizabeth said. She placed her hand against his chest, and slid it in a circular motion. "I haven't forgotten…the joys of a full-bodied man."
Stefan made a noise of derision. "I'm driving, Lizzie."
"You know how I like the chubby men, Stefan." Elizabeth said. "Let's do what Billy Halleck and his wife did, in the car."
"Let's not." Stefan said. "I wonder if it would give Stephen King pause to know that his writing has stirred up these…appetites in a young woman."
"For chubby men?" Elizabeth said.
"Yes." Stefan said. "For chubby men, and sex in cars, and…" He shook his head. "You know, I've had sex in a car, before."
"You have?" Elizabeth said. "While you were driving?"
"Yes." Stefan said.
"Actual sex? Intercourse?" Elizabeth said.
"Well…" Stefan shrugged. "Sort of."
"Who was it? Was it Bennie?"
"Her sister, actually." Stefan said. "She got a kick out of it."
"Wasn't that the cokehead? Cathy?"
"Yes." Stefan said. "It was just once, actually. I guess it's no wonder Blane dropped me, is it? I was very screwed up." He shook his head, looking very sad.
"Oh, Stefan." Elizabeth said. "He knows…he shouldn't have done it."
"I guess." Stefan said.
"Will you make love to me in the car?" Elizabeth said. "Like you made love to Cathy?"
"I'd hardly call it making love, and no, Elizabeth." He shook his head. "You know better than that."
"Just a little joke, Stefan." Said Elizabeth. "Besides, we wouldn't want to run over any gypsies, would we?"
"Gypsies? That's rather a racist term, Elizabeth." He looked at her chidingly. "As is a story about Eastern European people as vengeful, spell-casting crazies."
"Oh, no." Elizabeth said. "Here we go. More political lectures. I swear, you are like Bill Hicks."
"Well, maybe it's not truly the ideas put forth by the story, so much as…the metaphor behind what you're referencing, that bothers me, Elizabeth." He said, as the car came to a stop in a space in the building's parking garage. He took the key out of the ignition, and look at her resignedly.
"What do you mean?" Elizabeth said.
"You're trying to say that I'm fat, Elizabeth. The protagonist of that story is a fat man."
"Not fat. Chubby." Elizabeth said. "And the protagonist of the story is a chubby lawyer."
"We've seen the movie. He was a good deal more than chubby."
"Well, it's a metaphor, Stefan." Elizabeth said. "You don't have to take it a hundred percent literally."
She shook her head. "A lot of people didn't like that book, and the movie wasn't great, but…it's always been one of my favorites, and now I know why. Because I was meant to be with a chubby lawyer."
"All right, Lizzie." Stefan replied.
"You know how I adore chubby lawyers, Stefan." Elizabeth said.
"I do." Stefan replied.
"Nothing makes me hotter than a…well-cushioned man, Stefan." Said Elizabeth. "I want to have chubby sex with you." She stroked his arm.
"Well, we'll see, won't we?" Stefan said.
"It's a good thing to have." Said Elizabeth. "A well-padded man. And they keep you warm during the winter. You don't think I want some brittle, sharp-angled thing like your old pal, do you?"
"I wouldn't imagine so, Lizzie."
"He couldn't keep a girl warm at all." Elizabeth said. "It's like comparing…an old, creaky daybed, with a feather bed." She smiled sweetly at him.
"It certainly is."
"And useful in case of a life-threatening situation." Elizabeth said. "You know what fat does, don't you, Stefan? It floats." She said, elongating the vowels of the last word.
"Elizabeth-"
"You'll float, too." Elizabeth said fervently, placing her hand on his thigh, one of her knees inching away from the other in excitement, as she said the words. "You'll float." She leaned closer to him, placing her hand against his throat, and stroking it gently. She placed her hand on his chin, and squeezed, looking at him consideringly. Stefan looked back at her, a kind of worried, concerned apprehension in his eyes, but still not exactly disinterest, gazing down at her hand cupping his face. She squeezed a little harder, holding his head in place, before leaning her face towards him. She slid her hands up and down his chest, then placed her lips to his, and kissed him forcefully, enthusiastically. Stefan returned her kiss, patting her on the back with trepidation.
Elizabeth looked at him, her breathing ragged."Kiss me, fat bo-
"All right. That's enough of that." Stefan said, deftly moving his face away from hers. He shuddered.
"Too far?" Elizabeth said.
"I appreciate your enthusiasm, Lizzie, but…" said Stefan. "I guarantee you, there won't be any chubby sex for you, if you start quoting Pennywise."
The following May, Elizabeth was again pregnant, two months, this time, when they got a letter announcing Stefan's thirtieth high school reunion. Elizabeth was eager to go, having great curiosity about the people Stefan went to high school with, however, Stefan was not nearly as enthusiastic as she. In fact, suffice to say, Stefan was not enthusiastic about it at all. But, after she had begged, pleaded, and bargained with him, Stefan had grudgingly agreed to go.
The reunion was held at the same hotel, Stefan had said, where they had all had their senior prom, thirty years ago. A brunette with gleaming white teeth had greeted them at the door, introducing herself as the president of the alumni association, smiling widely at Stefan, wanting to talk over old times, however, Stefan was most definitely not the chatty sort, and soon deflected her, though politely, and excused the two of them.
Stefan was greatly unwilling to mingle with anyone there, and looked resolutely for the only one that he was even mildly interested in speaking with, Blane, who they had not seen or talked to since their dinner. He walked over to Blane, and tapped him on the shoulder.
"How you doing there, sport?" Stefan asked Blane.
Blane turned around. "Oh, Steff." he said. "Good to see you. How are the twins?"
"Good. They'll be a year soon."
"Good, good. And Elizabeth?"
"Oh, she's fine." said Stefan. "She's here with me, of course. I don't know where she went. She's flitting."
"Is she now?" said Blane. He shook his head, smiling.
"Haven't talked with you since last time, Blane? Been busy?"
"I have, yeah." said Blane. "With work, and everything. What about you, you been working hard?"
"My fingers to the bone, friend." Stefan said.
"Yeah?" Blane said. "Lots of people getting divorced, and fired, and injured?"
"Unfortunately." Stefan said. He shook his head.
"I'm just kidding old buddy." Blane said, patting him on the shoulder. "I'm sure you help a lot of people, too. Right?"
"I try to help all of them whatever way they need it, Blane." said Stefan. He shook his head. "Elizabeth dragged me here, of course."
"I'm sure she did, Steff."
"I have no desire to talk to any of these people again, do you?" Stefan said. "As far as I'm concerned, they're all bums. I don't even know what to say to them."
"Does you not knowing what to say to them automatically make them bums, or is it something else?" Blane said.
"Yes, Blane, it does." Stefan said, looking at him irritably. Blane shook his head, smiling. Just then, Elizabeth approached.
"Oh, hello, Elizabeth." Blane said, smiling at her, with his usual look of amusement. "Steff tells me that you dragged him here. Did you?"
"I did." Elizabeth said. "If it wasn't for me, Stefan probably wouldn't ever leave the house."
"Now that simply isn't true, Lizzie." Stefan said.
"It's pretty much true." Elizabeth said. She bit her lip. "I want him to talk with Andie again. See what she looks like now."
Blane looked a bit nonplussed at this, clearing his throat. "I...I wouldn't do that, Elizabeth."
"Why not?" Elizabeth said.
Blane sighed. "Because she...she doesn't want to talk to him. They certainly didn't part on great terms, Elizabeth."
"Oh, Blane." Elizabeth said. "That was thirty years ago. She doesn't care about stuff like that, I'm sure."
"Well, I certainly don't want to have any dealings with her, Elizabeth." Stefan said.
"See? He doesn't want to, Elizabeth." Blane said.
"Oh, it has nothing to do with you, Blane." Elizabeth said. "Why don't you mind your own business, now?"
Blane raised his eyebrows, and shrugged, swirling the ice in a drink he had, looking none too happy.
Sometime later, Elizabeth met up with Blane in the corridor of where the reunion was being held.
"Hey." she said softly. "How's it going?"
"Oh, it's going okay, Elizabeth." said Blane.
"I..." She looked off to the side for a minute. "You're not...angry with me about the Andie thing, are you?"
"No, no." Blane said. "Just...why do you care so much about things like this? All these people Steff went to school with?"
"I don't know. I just am." Elizabeth said. "What about you? You're here, aren't you? Why did you come, if you don't think it's something to care about?"
"Oh, Patty likes any excuse to get dressed up, and go to functions. Me, I'd...rather not have to see all the people I spent my high school years with. College, maybe. But not high school."
"Does that include Steff?" Elizabeth asked.
Blane looked at her thoughtfully. "No." he said, after a moment.
They were silent for a moment.
"As do you." Blane said, turning to her. "Like to get dressed up and go to functions, I'm sure. But that's not all it is, is it? You've got some...weird fascination."
"With life."
"With Steff. You want to...I don't know. Know everything there is to know about him, even the people he went to school with, years ago."
"With reunions. I like seeing people, and what they're like, then and now. I've always wished I could...time travel, you know. This is as close as I get."
"Yeah?" said Blane. "This is like a trip into the distant past for you?"
"Sort of." Elizabeth said. "Being here reminds me of a line from this song by my favorite group, growing up. The Bangles. 'Time, time, time. See what's become of me.'"
"Ohhh...that could be taken many ways." Blane said.
"Couldn't it, though?" Elizabeth said. "Why? Do you think some people have been victims of time?"
"Uhhh..." Blane said. He shook his head, smiling at her in amazement. "Could be. But I'm not going to say which."
"Time, or calories?"
Blane just looked at her, shaking his head. "Nice. Very loyal."
"Isn't it?"
"I'm sure Steff would love to hear about what his sweet girl says behind his back." He smirked at her. "Lizzie."
"Watch it."
"Oh, I'm just kidding." Blane said. He shook his head."Although, if I'm being honest, I was a little pissed off at you, the last time. Just a little. You set me up."
"I did no such thing." said Elizabeth. "If you mean when you said that about throat cancer. I asked you not to mention it."
"I didn't think you actually told him to his face that he sounds like he has throat cancer. I just thought it'd be a little joke that yeah, would go over his head."
"Because you think that Stefan is such an...intractable person, that he could never have a sense of humor about himself?"
"I don't know." Blane said. "I didn't think he'd be the kind of guy who'd joke with his wife like that, no. I mean, heaven help the poor soul who would go up to Steff, and say 'You sound like you have throat cancer', when we were in school. I would not want to be the person who had to do that back then, let me tell you."
"Well, in case you hadn't noticed, it isn't high school, anymore, Blane, and Stefan is a middle-aged husband and father."
"Indeed." Blane said. "People change. Sometimes."
"Want to point out any of those poor souls he victimized to me?" Elizabeth said, biting her lip.
"I would love to, Elizabeth." Blane said. He smiled wryly at her. Elizabeth smiled back.
When the reunion was winding down, Elizabeth and Stefan were standing in the lobby, when Blane walked up to them.
"Well." he said. "Patty's about ready to leave, so I guess we're going to take off."
"All right, Blane." Stefan said, and Elizabeth noticed that he was frowning a little, sadlly. She felt a lump in her throat the size of a tennis ball, upon seeing this, and cleared her throat.
"Blane." Elizabeth said. Blane turned to her.
"Yes, Elizabeth?"
"I think you should give your friend a hug." She glanced at the floor. "I mean, I know he's a noted...tyrant of your class, feared by many, and he'd never say it, but it'd mean a lot to him."
"I see." Blane said. "Well, since you ordered me to." He walked up to Steff, and embraced him quickly, patting him on the back.
"It's always great seeing you two, really." Blane said. He shook his head. "She's a little officious. And odd. I guess you've found your soul mate, Steff."
"Indeed I have, Blane." Stefan said. "And..indeed she is."
"Well." Blane said. "Until next time, I guess."
"Until next time, sport." Stefan said.
"Yeah." Blane said, studying them, and looking a little sad. "Well, see you."
He walked down the lobby of the hotel, Elizabeth and Stefan both watching him contemplatively.
