The Vampire Cure.

AN: To KawaiiKittyChan and any other Seras fans that I may have offended. I do apologize. I'm not trying to make Seras look dumb, just naive. I do have her doing some rather bizarre things to secure the supposed vampire cure in this chapter. However, I've tried to keep her from looking stupid. Although she still doesn't know that the recipe was from a video game, I have her doing quite a bit of research into the ingredients. Anyway, I do hope she now comes across as naive and determined rather than dumb.

Prologue:

Alucard was not happy. Seras was late. Since she'd first hooked up her his Xbox 360, the two of them had set the last couple of hours before sunrise aside to play together. At first, they'd played through the campaign. Then, after actually managing to set up their Xbox Live accounts, the two played online. But, tonight Seras hadn't shown. After a half hour of waiting, Alucard's limited patience had reached its end. So, with a frustrated grunt, the ancient vampire rose from his seat and went to find out just what was keeping his fledgling.

Alucard didn't bother to open his door. Instead he just phased through it. He walked the short distance to his fledgling's room and stopped outside the door. His hand reached up. Then it came back down, and the vampire shook his head. Knocking, Alucard, really? What am I thinking? Just who's the master here, anyway?

Rather than a polite knock, Alucard just stuck his head through the door and looked around. Bunsen burners? Mortar? Pestle? Retort? Calcinator? Alembic? Since when did Police Girl become an Alchemy nut? It was then that the No-Life King heard a faint moaning sound. He recognized the voice as that of his fledgling and stepped inside.

The ancient vampire found his young fledgling lying behind her table. He reached down, lifted her head and looked into her eyes. The pupils were so dilated that the eyes looked black. "Oh, Police Girl, what have you done?"

"I was trying to cure my vamperism."

"You were what? What were you thinking!"

Seras pouted and, in an innocent voice, replied, "I don't want to be a monster."

"Of all the... Would you rather be dead? 'Cause you look about halfway there now."

"Sorry, Master."

Alucard sighed; but, after a moment, he scooped up his fledgling and brought her over to her coffin. He laid her down inside. "Just get some sleep."

Seras looked up at her master. "Aren't you going to punish me?"

"No." Alucard turned away from her and looked at the table. "Whatever potion you mixed up has messed you up pretty badly. I think you've already learned your lesson."

Seras giggled, and Alucard turned back to her. The fledgling pointed at her master's fedora. "Funny hat."

Alucard shook his head and sighed again. He began to close the lid of Seras's coffin. In an almost kind voice he replied, "Yes, funny hat. Now you just get some rest and try to sleep off... whatever it is tha-"

Alucard's voice was cut off as Seras quickly leaned forward and caught him in a passionate kiss. She pulled back before her master completely recovered from his surprise. "Thanks, Master."

Alucard grunted. He finished closing the coffin lid, then turned and started to walk away. Before stepping back through the door, he turned back to look at the closed coffin and whispered, "Anytime... Seras"

Early the next night:

Seras was pouring her failed 'vampire cure' attempt down the drain. She'd had a terrible time trying to figure out what the freelancer was talking about. No matter how hard the fledgling tried, she was unable to find any record of a place currently, or once, called Skingrad. This made it impossible for her to talk to its Count and find the ex-witch who knew how to mix the cure. However, Seras was a very driven individual, and she already knew the ingredients. So, she'd decided that she'd just figure out the recipe herself. Of course, even that was more difficult than she thought it would be.

The garlic and vampire ash had been relatively easy to gather. Seras just collected some vampire ash from one of the fakers her and her master were sent to deal with. The garlic was a bit more of a pain, though it was easy to procure. She just picked some up at the local supermarket, which it sounds simple enough. Unfortunately, the reason that several myths contained accounts of people scaring off a vampire with garlic was because the creatures were terribly allergic to it. After picking up the garlic, Seras had a horrible rash, on her arm, for the next three days. Needless to say, she was very careful to only use an extremely small amount of garlic in her cure attempt.

Although, Seras wasn't allergic to either the bloodgrass or nightshade, they presented their own problems. The freelancer, for some reason, had not used the proper names for the plants. It had taken two days of searching through the botany books in Integra's library, before Seras finally discovered that the Solanaceae plant family's name was derived from the Latin word "Solanum", which roughly translated to "the nightshade plant". Why the stupid freelancer felt the need to call it nightshade instead of Solanaceae, Seras didn't know. Although, she had to admit that nightshade was a bit easier on the tongue.

It took her another four days to discover just what, the bloody hell, bloodgrass was. Apparently it was an obscure slang term for Imperata Cylindrica. Imperata Cylindrica was a rhizomatous grass native to east and southeast Asia, India, Micronesia and Australia. It was basically a weed. So, once Seras knew the proper name for it, procurement was a piece of cake.

The most elusive ingredient had been the Argonian blood. She'd searched and searched but was unable to find any mention of Argonians in any of Integra's books. The local library wasn't much help either. Finally, driven by desperation, Seras began to search through maps for any place that sounded close to the name. She knew that people where often named after the place they lived in. English people came from England, French from France and so on. After a week of searching, Seras finally found out that there was a small town in Alabama called "Argo". Upon discovering this, she had Walter requisition all transfusion blood donated by anyone living in Argo.

As the thick green liquid flowed down the drain, Seras couldn't help but mentally kick herself. All that work and all I succeeded in making was a potion that made me light headed and trashed my motor skills. A couple of minutes after drinking it I got dizzy, stumbled around like a drunk and collapsed behind my table. Now that Seras thought about it, she wondered just how she ended up in her coffin. Most of what happened after she drank the potion was still fuzzy, but she couldn't remember staggering, or even crawling over to her coffin. It was then that a memory flashed in the young fledgling's head. Suddenly she saw her master leaning over her. Oh great, if he found out what I was trying to do he'd kill me... again.

More memories came, memories of him carrying her to her coffin, gently closing the lid and then... Seras dropped the test tube as an image of herself kissing her master floated before her eyes. No? No. No! What did I do? Oh! That stupid potion must have royally screwed up my sense of judgment too.

Seras rushed from her room and was already standing in front of her master's door before she was able to calm down enough to compose herself. Get a grip girl, and think before you make things worse! She took a deep breath and let it out. She couldn't quite get up the courage to knock, so instead she just slowly and ever so carefully opened the door to peak inside.

The fledgling actually hoped her master wasn't there. She didn't really want to talk to him; but, somehow, she felt like she had to. Unfortunately, as Seras peaked inside, the door was suddenly pulled from her grasp, and as she looked up, she saw see her master glaring down at her. "Did you really believe that you could get this close to me and remain undetected. I sensed you as soon as you touched my door handle. This is my lair, remember?"

"No, Master. I... I mean yes, Master."

"Well, which is it, Police Girl?"

"I... I'm sorry for disturbing you. It's just... You see... We, we need to talk."

"Do we, now? Then you'd better come in and have a seat. It's far more dignified than trying to spy on your master, don't you think?"

"Yes, Master." Seras followed Alucard into his 'lair' and sat down.

"Now, what is it that we 'need' to talk about."

"Well, it's about last night."

Alucard's face took on an annoyed expression. "Why are you bothering me about that. I already told you I wasn't going to punish you. Just don't be foolish enough to try to 'cure' yourself again."

He knows? He knows and he's not going to kill me? Well, at least, that's one less thing I have to worry about. "Yes, Master. Thank you, and don't worry. After last night, I'm never going to try that again." Seras let out a nervous chuckle, and her and Alucard just stared at each other for a moment.

Then Alucard, rather abruptly, asked, "Well?"

"Well, what?"

"Well, is that all!"

"Um..."

The No-Life King calmed back down, and a knowing grin spread across his face. "Oh, wait a minute. This is about that little kiss, isn't it?" Seras blushed slightly, and her master broke out laughing. "Of all the... Police Girl, you really shouldn't take things so seriously. Don't worry about that. You were drunk... or something. High off of whatever potion you'd mixed up to 'cure' yourself. Just forget about it."

"Yes, Master. Thank you, Master." Seras could hardly believe it. Her master could've used that kiss to tease and torment her for months, perhaps longer, and she'd fully expected him to do just that. Instead, showing uncharacteristic generosity, he was letting her off the hook. She felt so relieved. However, she also felt slightly... disappointed(?). Although, she certianly wasn't disappointed enough to look the gift horse in his mouth.

Seras stood up and started to walk away, but then her master's voice stopped her. "Police Girl, where do you think you are going?"

Oh, great. I knew it was too good to be true. Seras clenched her jaw and turned back around. Here it comes, she thought but was surprised to see her master simply holding up an Xbox 360 controller.

"You still owe me a game, remember?"

(Okay, sorry about postponing the game play for another chapter. It just took me too long to deal with the cure. I apologize, but everything is setup and taken care of now. So, if I do one more chapter, I promise that it will cover Seras, her master and some other Hellsing characters actually playing online. LoL. Once again, sorry about the delay. Sometimes a chapter just gets away from you, you know?

Have a good day, and God bless.

Metropolis Kid.)

(To mint leafs: Thanks for the review. I'm glad to you that you enjoyed the last chapter. I hope you liked this one, as well. I know you're not a big SerasxAlucard fan. But that's just how this story developed. Anyway, I hope you still enjoyed the last chapter. And don't worry about not updating your stories too often. This sight is suppose to be for fun, not work. LoL. Just update when you can. Your readers will understand. Or, at least, they should. :)

PS. Happy Birthday!

To night: Thanks for the review. I'm glad you liked the silver bullet currency and the story. As you can see, I did write more. I hope you enjoyed it.

To Hanna: Thanks for the review. I'm glad that this has been able to make you laugh. I hope you continue to enjoy it. You might also get a kick out of some of my other fics. I have a number of other Hellsing humor ones.

Raven Majestrix: Thanks for the review. I'm glad that you liked the first chapter. I hope you enjoy the rest.