Chapter 4

Like the Leaves of Autumn

Six weeks had gone by since Inuyasha's transformation and disappearance. Sango and Miroku were now engaged as they had planned and Kagome had been keeping herself busy. Surprisingly she didn't go home... it even surprised her how she could stared at the well for hours upon hours and not go back to her own time. She was waiting for something, something that would tell her it was not the end, but everything seemed to come to an end, and all these new beginnings weren't helping her.

Every new beginning would remind her of change, and change reminded her of Inuyasha, and Inuyasha... reminded her of what was never meant to be, and what her future could or would, ever become.

A young girl tugged at her long sleeve, that was traditionally worn by a true miko, that which she was, now... Everyone had told her that her powers were that of a powerful miko and that she would make quite the village priestess. She had actually seemed to be like the head priestess now, and if Kaede were ever out, she would be the one to tend to wounds of the village people.

"Lady Kagome." a young girl piped.

"Oh, I'm sorry Miharu..." she apologized.

The blue eyes of the girl Miharu, beamed at Kagome, who smiled warmly in response. Crouching down to the younger girl's level Kagome studied the flowers that were in her hand.

"They're called wildflowers, very very pretty, but I don't think I can use them for anything right now..." Kagome said. The young girl bowed.

"But go ahead and keep them alright? Or actually... give them over to your mother, I'm sure she would like them a lot." Kagome said. Miharu nodded and ran off.

"Shippo..." she called out. The kitsune jumped on her shoulder.

"What is it Kagome?" he asked.

"Do you smell something unusual?" she asked. Shippo sniffed around.

"Nothing but some wildflowers... and... Kaede's herbs." he said sniffing more. Slowly taking out an arrow from the sack behind her, she pulled the arrow back.

"Shippo... get down." She said and spun around. She raised the arrow and let go of it in one movement.

"Come out." she commanded. "I know I didn't strike you... so come on out and show yourself." Kagome said. After a few seconds she turned around again. "They left..." she muttered.

This had been going on for a week now... no, it had been going on for longer, the presence of a demon had been following Kagome, but it had kept it's distance at first. But as of lately she could sense it's aura. Her heart could feel itself pounding whenever she felt this aura, not because of fear, but because it was hoping it was Inuyasha... and whenever that thought arose in her head her heart would beat out of control.

Shippo nodded as dusted himself off. "Are you okay Kagome?" he asked innocently. The miko nodded and began to walk towards a certain hut.

"Anyone in here?" she asked moving away the curtain. A loud slap echoed in her ears. "I guess so..." she said and looked farther inside.

"You perverted little- UGHH!" Sango threw her hands up. "I can't believe you sometimes!" she exclaimed.

The monk known as Miroku had a nervous smile on his face. "But we're engaged now!" he pointed out earning him a pan against his head. (yes... me needed my pan in this fiction somehow...) Kagome held in a laugh.

"Yes, and more the reason to respect my 'personal' space!" Sango said sternly.

"I see you two haven't changed much." Kagome laughed lightly.

Sango glared at Miroku, who was beaming at Kagome. It was true, those two hadn't changed at all really. Sango was a bit more forgiving at times, and Miroku was a bit more understanding at times. They seemed to be almost as they were before, and that was something she, Kagome, could not do. Ever since the Inuyasha had left, Kagome had changed more and more.

"And I'm guessing you two are used to living here?" she asked. The couple nodded.

During the second week, Sango and Miroku had made a hut near Kaede's and settled in the village. Kagome would visit every day, though she needed not to since they were practically two feet away, but still they were quite used to always being together from all their travels and whether she knew it or not, they were her family and she needed that support and warmth everyday to help her.

Miroku nodded without hesitation. Sango sighed. "I suppose we are." she smiled.

Kagome nodded and Shippo ran into the hut. "Kagome, I saw something moving in the trees and it was really fast, and I think it was a demon!" Shippo exclaimed pointed out the door.

Sango grabbed her Hiraikotsu and Miroku his staff. "Stay here." Kagome commanded not looking back at them.

"But Kagome-"

She turned around to face them. "Sango, you're arm is still healing... I know it feels fine now, but... if you use it then it might damage it even more, and Miroku..." she looked at him in a begging way. He nodded understandingly and sat back down. "Shippo, stay here." Kagome said and walked out.

"Miroku..." Sango said worriedly.

"What is it?" he asked.

"I'm worried about Kagome... she seems so unlike herself, and so... I don't know Miroku, but it's worrying me. Ever since Inuyasha left, she's gone blank." the demon slayer explained. Kagome had always been like a sister to Kagome, a best friend, and now she was so distant. Like sand, Kagome was slipping through her fingers and into the wind.

Miroku put a hand on her shoulder for comfort, but kept his eyes on the door.

"Lady Kagome... does not want to be herself. She has put on this mask to hide her pain, to protect herself, because as strong as her spiritual powers are, she cannot put a barrier around her heart, but she doesn't want to us to be burdened or worried about her. Kagome just wants us to be happy; she wants everyone to be happy, but she can't help but long for happiness herself, so she covers it up and puts her needs last." he explained wisely with a sad look on his face.

Shippo stared n the direction of the door with sympathy.

"Kagome wants us to be happy... but she deserves to be happy too..." the kitsune said. "Why can't Inuyasha just come back...?" he asked.

"It is not as simple as those two coming back together. I presume Kagome is afraid of what she might find, remember that the Inuyasha that was our friend is now a full demon and he's probably not himself any longer... and I fear that the Inuyasha we knew might be gone, and if he is himself again... it might be just as hard on her." Miroku said...

The autumn breeze swept past Kagome blowing her hair and clothes. "Come out demon." she commanded. Nothing stirred but the leaves that were being lightly shaken by the winds.

Reds and golds, browns and orange shades surrounded her no longer did the light breezes of the summer embrace her. The warm colors of fall seemed to paint the her world and surround her in the coming of old and new, and winter would be approaching with a few weeks.

The leaves that gracefully fell from the trees were a reminder of how everything had a pattern, and yet... the leaves that refused and held on to the branches rebelled against time and fate. Holding on until the end and fighting against what was meant to be, and what had to happen.

That was her life, rebelling against time, holding on desperately fighting against the fate in which she had been bestowed. Whatever was meant to be, was happening around her, and even though she had changed, she refused to let go of what once was.

Kagome walked through the calm forest feeling a presence near her. The leaves crunched beneath her feet as she walked deeper into the forest.

"Inuyasha..." she said out loud to herself.

Her heart and imagination had been playing tricks on her as of recently. Every night she would walk to a spot that no one knew of, that lie hidden by the forest. It was a place of complete solitude for her, where she could feel her dream world come to life.

In this world of hers, the hanyou Inuyasha was always next to her, even if in her mind there were storms, or rain, snow, sunshine, he was next to her where ever she went. Whether in the midst of flowering spring, or the coldest winder day, the half demon was at her side, guarding her.

The autumn leaves that promised fate, fell contently, the struggle too fight against fate was not needed, for a happy ending was surely promised... Even though the winters in her mind would come, this fate she shared with him had the strength to overcome that. Even if the destiny set upon them would try to tear them apart, like the winds of autumn, in her world... in her one place of true bliss, nothing come overcome their hold onto each other, and the lives in which they held to.

Several times she had sworn she fell asleep amongst the imaginary clouds that held her up, in the arms of whom had never left. When she awoke though in the early morning she found herself asleep Kaede's hut.

Making her way through the leaves and bushes the young miko cleared a path to her escape. The warmth of the setting sun flooded her senses and melted the shield that she felt herself begin to feel at peace. Kagome collapsed onto the grass of the hill and had begun to get lost in her thoughts...

Two nights ago she fell asleep here, but she actually did wake up in the same spot, though she felt warm, oddly enough and it was not the sun that had made her feel this way but something had been placed on top of her and she felt someone near her. As soon as she woke up though she felt the warmth leave her and whoever had been with her had left. over and over her heart was telling her it was Inuyasha, while over and over again her mind screamed it wasn't.

The stars were bright as they usually were on a night in the Feudal Era. She felt something on her hand and opened her eyes to look at it. A golden, red leave was lightly resting on her hand. The miko picked it up and twisted it by the stem, studying it's colors. That sincere gold reminded her of the specks in the eyes of the once half demon, Inuyasha.

A wind picked up again and she let the leaf be blown away. Once again she closed her eyes and felt her conscious slip away from her...

it was dark now and the hills were basked in the light of the entrancing moon. The miko who had fallen asleep on the hills was fully awake, though she sowed no signed of being awake. What kept her this way was that the presence of someone was near her once again. Opening an eye she caught the glimpse of silver and red. Opening her eyes wide now, Kagome shot up catching the attention of the person next to her.

Everything became still when amber met brown in a breathless gaze. The wind ceased, waters froze, sound and movement halted, all under the gaze of the two. The stars help still as if holding their breaths in anticipation, the moon cast it's spell silently upon them and reflected in their eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Kagome asked.

"Nothing."

"Where have you been?"

"Nowhere"

"Why have you been watching me?"

"because"

"... Why did you leave?"

"I didn't..."

"Inuyasha..." the miko whispered. She stared into the pools of amber. "You left... and you're not you... but you are now... and-" She tried to explain to herself out loud. "This isn't real..." she told herself and him. Silence followed. "No, this isn't real... and it's all a dream and..." she searched for the answers in Inuyasha's eyes desperately.

She placed her hand on his shoulder slowly, afraid that this dream would burst any second.

As much as he told himself he should stay silent, as much as he willed himself not to move, not to make a sound or do anything, he couldn't help but answer her.

"It's not a dream, it's real and I'm here..." he said in the voice she missed.

Instantly he regretted speaking, but another part of him wanted to talk more, wanted to spill out to her, but he kept control over that at least. he had hurt her, and that alone made him go crazy, he shouldn't of even been here at all, but she was always calling to him, her voice was permanently etched in his mind. Every second he was away, a picture of her in danger flashed in his mind and he'd go to check on her.

At first he had only been in smelling range. he knew every thing and everyone that came within a mile of her, and a growl would escalate from his throat when he smelt one of the male villagers near her. more pictures flashed of the possibilities, so he got within hearing range of her, and pretty soon that wasn't enough either.

He had been sure to stay at a distance and keep himself hidden, but she was always starring straight at him, and several times came within an inch of shooting him with her arrow, but every time she missed. Purposely and both of them knew it.

Everywhere she went, he would be as close as possible. Every time she called out to him, he'd stay silent. When any demon came within three miles of her, he'd either scare it off... or kill it more often.

Everyday she'd come here to be isolated, and she'd talk out loud, and sometimes she'd talk to him. But whenever she was there she wouldn't look at him.

Night after night she would come here, and if she fell asleep he would carry her to Kaede's hut. The other night he had been watching her and she fell asleep again, but he heard her talk in her sleep like she did before he left.

'Don't go...' those words replayed in the demon's head repeatedly, those words that were meant for him, that begged him, nagged him, burned into his skin.

He had left her because he wanted to protect her, and he had stayed away for two days before running off again to her. Whenever she'd head in the direction of the well he would tense up and then ask questions whenever she turned away...

"But... you're supposed to be a demon... but... you are still..." she said, tracing the purple marks on his face. her throbbing head finally sent her mind to go blank and her head rested on his chest. "Don't move..." she said clearly.

Inuyasha froze and did as told.

"Just... don't go..." Kagome said. Looking down at the girl he couldn't pull away. Within the silence she was calling him, drawing him into her, willing him not to leave not just through her words, but through her silence. The moon was casting down on her making her glow.

Sitting up Inuyasha wrapped his arms around her carefully.

'Tomorrow... we'll talk... but just for now... can we stay like this?' Kagome asked him in her mind, with that thought, she wished tomorrow would never come, that she could just stay like this until the end of time.

"Let me rest... we can talk tomorrow..." Kagome said. How she prayed that this night would never end, that for one night, she could go back to how things used to be, and she just wished that she could be trapped in this time, this very second, for the rest of eternity.

She felt Inuyasha wrap his arms around her and lift her up. 'He's going to take me back to the hut...' A part of her heart felt like it had just been broken apart from the rest. A few tears made their way in her eyes, but she never let out a sound, even if the tears spilled out of her eyes, she made not a sound.