A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Things are getting a little tense for Team Arrow in this one. Hope you enjoy, and let me know what you think!
Oliver was in the middle of a punishing workout when she emerged from the bathroom. In clean yoga pants and an old sweatshirt from college, ponytail dripping a wet mark down her back she padded barefoot across the training room, trying to draw as little attention to herself as possible.
She had hours of work ahead of her. The transmitter she wanted to plant needed to be small but powerful and also avoid detection if Salazar routinely scanned for bugs which he probably did.
Tuning Oliver out was something she had become adept at even if on occasion her gaze would stray and linger if she didn't catch herself in time. But tuning him out that night was proving difficult. She'd pulled a chair to one of the tables, needing a clear flat surface to work on. Except it also gave her an unobstructed view of Oliver.
Gathering the supplies she needed took twice as long as it should have because she was taking her time trying to draw it out as long as possible. When she couldn't put it off any longer she settled at the table and did her best to ignore him.
Tommy's voice echoed in her head as she worked. 'You didn't see him that night.'
That night. The night no one seemed to be able to get past even though none of them talked about it. Especially Oliver.
Frankly it scared her to consider what Tommy had witnessed. From the bits she'd been able to put together Oliver had reacted in a way that no one had considered. Except maybe Tommy. He was annoyingly insightful. Which is why she couldn't shake his voice.
Oliver gave a deep guttural roar that made her stomach flip as her eyes flew to his sweaty form. He was defying all sense of logic and physics and doing upside down pushups at the top of the salmon ladder. She could barely see his legs he was so high and her mouth went dry as she saw the way his shoulders and arms quaked with exertion.
There was no good reason why he couldn't do those on a lower rung, preferably one that was much closer to the ground in case he fell. Not that she'd ever seen him fall, but it could happen. She was sure she didn't breathe until he lowered himself parallel to the floor and then built up a rhythm and worked his way down the ladder.
His head turned towards her when his feet were on the floor, wrists resting loose on the bar above him. For a second his expression was unmasked and the desire and need that flushed through her at the way he was looking her way was enough to make her lose what little concentration she had. The small screwdriver she'd been using slipped and jabbed painfully into her opposite palm.
She jumped and let out a yelp as her attention was pulled from him. A shallow cut crossed the heel of her hand and she immediately put it to her mouth to soothe the sting. When a bandage entered her field of vision she wasn't expecting it.
Felicity sat back, startled, as her hand fell from her mouth and she shook it out to relieve the pain. "Oliver!" she said sharply. Too sharply.
He didn't reply, just moved the bandage again. The heat radiating off of him was almost oppressive and she didn't want to look at him, worried about what she might see. But she found she couldn't help it when her eyes rose to his.
His jaw was clenched tight and the furrow between his brows was deeper than she'd ever seen it. It was the way his pupils had darkened that made the breath catch in her throat.
"I'm...I'm fine. Just a scratch." she managed to get out, voice sounding nothing like it should.
"Take it." he said through gritted teeth, tension rolling off of him in waves.
"Really. It's just a little cut. No blood." she held her palm up to show him and his eyes slammed shut, as he practically vibrated next to her in his attempt to control himself.
"Take it." it was a growl now, and an order and he still hadn't opened his eyes, "You're hurt."
With shaking fingers she couldn't make stop she took the proffered bandage. His lids lifted and something told her he wasn't leaving until she used it. Not understanding what was happening she opened the wrapper and made quick work of placing it over the cut.
"There. All better." she came this close to asking if he wanted to kiss it, but she actually stopped herself before she could. "Not in danger of bleeding out."
She'd gone for light and funny because his demeanor was anything but. However, when a storm of emotions flew through his eyes she regretted it immediately. He pushed away from the table and ate up the distance to the salmon ladder in only a few long strides. She was out of her chair and following him before she knew what she was doing.
"Oliver! What is going on?" she demanded, only a couple feet behind him, "It was a tiny cut."
His head bowed, as hands tightened into fists at his side and she actually watched the muscles in his back contract.
Hand raised she came within millimeters of laying it on his skin when she realized what she was about to do. Fingers curled inwards she forced her traitorous hand into her stomach and held it there tight.
"Talk to me." she said softly and didn't miss the way he seemed to shudder at her words.
"It's nothing." he spoke suddenly, moving to adjust the bar and get ready to push his body to the point of exhaustion again.
Before he could start she darted forward and slipped around him until she was on one side of the bar and he was on the other.
"Talk to me."
He had stilled when she'd gone past him, head still lowered. All she could hear was her own breaths and the pulse of her heart beat in her ear until he slowly raised up.
He was laid bare. Guilt, pain, regret, it was all there for her to see. In an instant she knew this had to do with that mission. That night.
"Oh, Oliver…" she breathed out, stepping forward under the bar, fingers outstretched fluttering around his jaw but not touching.
"I don't want you doing this."
She expected his voice to be rough and low, but it was defeated instead and tears pricked her eyes.
"I have to." she told him.
"You were hurt. You were hurt because I didn't protect you." his voice was growing harder now.
"I was hurt because that happens sometimes. It happens to you. It happens to Digg."
"It was NOT supposed to happen to you!" he bellowed and it took everything in her to stand her ground and not back up.
"Well it did!" she yelled back, tired of being treated like she was about to break by all of them, "And you need to get over it. Digg and Tommy too!"
His chin lifted and his eyes fixed on a spot above her head. "Move out of my way." he ground out,
She didn't budge, just held her gaze on his face and watched as he tried to let his mask of detachment settle over it.
"Felicity," he warned and her chest seemed to rattle from how low he spoke but she still didn't move.
Their eyes clashed and she'd swear later he leaned in towards her for a split second. Then he pivoted on his heel and was heading for the bathroom. The slamming of the door reverberated through the space and it took her a long moment before she blew out a breath and made her way back to the table on shaky legs.
The water was almost off before she found she could even concentrate on the tech again. She'd only completed one more small part before he stormed from the bathroom just as upset and angry as he had gone in. Her entire body froze as she watched him stalk across the floor, grab his jacket and keys and disappear up the stairs, taking them two at a time.
He didn't look her way once.
A pang of hurt went through her and she tried to shove it aside. The bow and his suit were still in their proper place. He wasn't being reckless. But she wished he would talk to her. She wished they'd all stop feeling so damn guilty.
That more than anything was driving her to complete this mission. She knew she could do it. She needed to prove to them that she could as well.
Forcing herself to focus, the late hour and knowledge that she was running out of time allowed her to forget what had happened and get back to work.
It was in the early hours of the morning when she was finally sitting in front of her computers again running a diagnostic on the transmitter. Curled in her chair she kept fighting her drooping eyes. Oliver still hadn't returned and she had no reason to think he would. He was probably at home, asleep in his bed. Which is where she should be. Her own bed. Not his.
With a shake of her head she tapped a few commands on the keyboard and sat back again. She could even think things she shouldn't when she was alone.
The silence of the lair and lateness of the hour worked against her until she knew she was falling asleep and there was nothing she could do to fight it.
She'd expected to wake up cold, with a crick in her neck, and that slightly hung over feeling she always got when she slept someplace she shouldn't. Instead she was warm and comfortable and didn't want to open her eyes, but there were people talking and a light behind her eyes and she couldn't ignore it any longer.
When she forced her lids to lift she discovered she was now laying on the couch in the lair, Oliver's black leather jacket draped over her shoulders. It slipped off as she sat up and for a moment she stared at it, wondering when he'd come back and how she'd made it to the couch. She folded it carefully and pushed to her feet, coming around the corner to see the three of them deep in conversation.
Digg stood with his arms crossed, brow furrowed at something Oliver was saying who still looked like a trapped animal. She could see the tension pouring off of him from across the room, his jaw clenched to the point it had to hurt. Tommy stood back a bit, head turning to follow the back and forth between the other two men. He spotted her first and scrubbed a nervous hand over the back of his head and gave her an obviously forced smile.
"Hey, sleeping beauty!" he called, causing both Digg and Oliver to whip their heads her direction.
Anger washed over her, leaving her feeling hot and shaky. She knew exactly what they were talking about. Letting out a disgusted exhale she ignored all of them as she crossed to her desk and slid her shoes on before grabbing her bag and throwing it over her shoulder.
She'd made it all the way to the stairs before Oliver's hand landed on her arm, stopping her. Fingers clutching the railing she shut her eyes tight and concentrated on her breathing before she turned and gave him a scathing look.
"Figure out if you can trust me in the field, Oliver. Figure it out now. If you can't then you need to let me go. Because I can't work like this. I can feel your eyes on me all the time like you think I'm going to be in grave danger just by getting out of my chair. And that goes for all of you." she said, lifting her angry gaze to Digg and Tommy who hadn't moved. "Either you accept that sometimes things go to hell but we get through it or you let me go."
Her stomach was in knots and she had to swallow hard when she was finished. She hadn't planned on saying all of that but it was true. They'd all been ignoring it for too long and now it had festered and infected the team, and the only way to get rid of it was by purging or amputation.
Oliver looked like she'd struck him, mouth half open, brows knitted so close together his eyes were almost slits. His hand fell from her arm as she pulled away and hurried up the stairs, tripping once and having to catch herself, tears blurring her eyes.
She didn't know how she got to her car. She half expected to be intercepted by one of them before she made it that far, but they'd actually left her alone. A broken bark of a laugh escaped her lips as she fumbled with her keys; she didn't know if she was glad they hadn't followed, or hurt.
The ultimatum wasn't something she'd thought of before. If she was honest with herself she'd been a bit hypocritical back there. She'd been ignoring it as much as they had been. It was easier to pretend like things were fine.
Things were not fine though.
Could she leave? Could she walk away? The fact that she'd even suggested it scared her. She didn't think anything could have made her leave but...how could she stay if that's how things were going to be. It would get one of them killed one day because they'd put their irrational fear for her safety over the mission or over themselves and she knew she'd never survive that.
The drive to her apartment was a blur. Luckily she didn't have time to dwell. Her mind was purposely blank as she gathered what she'd need for the competition that afternoon, including a small suitcase to give the appearance they were staying at the hotel where the competition was being held. As she rolled it back to her car she wondered where she'd be in a few hours. Acid churned in her stomach as the implications of what she'd done resonated within her.
She'd only been gone an hour, but the place seemed colder than usual when she re-entered the lair. At first she thought it was empty until Digg and Tommy appeared at the bottom of the stairs. Tommy came forward with an apologetic half smile and took her bags from her.
"I'm sorry, I'll do better." he said simply and all she could do was nod. She followed him down the remaining stairs as he sat her things off to the side. When he came back to her he took both hands in his and looked more serious than she'd ever seen him. "Cut him some slack 'Lis. He's scared to death he's going to lose you." before she could reply he was bussing a kiss across her cheek and hurrying up the stairs to the club.
Digg stood stoic, waiting for her to approach him. She wasn't expecting him to speak first. "When you first came into this I was worried you'd get hurt. But more than that I was worried you'd be a liability." she tried not to be stung by his words. "We're the ones making you a liability though. You're smart, you're capable. And you're right, sometimes things go wrong. We just need to learn how to deal with that."
She stared at him with teary eyes and mouthed 'Thank you', unable to convince her voice to work. Not giving him a choice she stepped forward and wrapped him in a hug, smiling into his chest when he sighed and gave in, his ridiculously large arms holding her tight.
When she stepped back and wiped damp eyes he gave her a soft look and tipped his chin towards the back of the lair. Oliver was waiting.
