Chapter III

"Master, are you still there?" Obi-Wan asked after several moments of silence.

"Yes, my Padawan, I'm still here." Qui-Gon fell silent a few more seconds before adding, "How long have you been feeling like this? I'd like to know it all."

"Qui-Gon, I do not think it would be appropiate, I'm a Jedi and I feel ashamed of having broken the Cod – " Kenobi replied before being interrupted by his Master.

"The Code? What Code?"

"Master! What do you mean 'what Code'. The Jedi Code!" Added Obi-Wan a little shocked.

"I know what Code. What I mean, Obi-Wan, is that there's no Code anymore, since there is no Jedi Order anymore." Qui-Gon added with a sad tone.

"Oh. Yes, you are right." Obi-Wan lowered his head in contemplation. "Nevertheless, I feel as if I had broken it."

"You say it because you love her?"

"Yes, because attachment is – was – forbidden – " The younger Jedi continued.

Qui-Gon cut him off again. "But you didn't know your feelings by that time, and if you did know, you didn't let yourself get attached. Love doesn't equal attachment, and you should know it by now".

"I know, but yet..." Obi-Wan closed his eyes and sighed.

"I know how you feel, remember I've been through the same. And like you, my beloved one died in front of me." Obi-Wan was sure that if his Master were visible to his eyes, he would most likely be staring at a blind spot in sadness.

Qui-Gon remained silent serveral seconds and Obi-Wan didn't dare to utter a word, for he was sure his Master was silently grieving Tahl. He remember how helpless had he felt at that time, because he hadn't known Qui-Gon and Tahl were in love. And now more than ever, he understood his Master's pain. But Obi-Wan had experienced that pain twice: first with Siri and then with Padmé, and both deaths had been less than a year appart.

"I'm sure somehow you suspected it." Qui-Gon broke the silence, almost startling Obi-Wan.

"Yes," Obi-Wan admitted. "I guess it was by the time I saw her again, right before the Clone Wars begun. I used to think it just had been nostalgia. Or when we were about to be executed in Geonosis, I thought it just had been my Jedi compassion. But then, I noticed there was something different in her, in the way she looked, in the way she carried herself. Especially, when Anakin was around..." Obi-Wan sighed, as in pain, "And I knew something was going on. I sensed it, though both Padmé and Anakin tried as much to hide it. And I made myself blind to it."

"Oh, I see. Did that suspicion bother you?" Qui-Gon asked retorically, for he already knew the answer.

"Yes and no. Yes, because Anakin was breaking the Code and was risking his career as a Jedi. No, because they seemed happy. And if they were happy, I was as well happy."

"And there, my Padawan, is the proof that you didn't break any rule..." Qui-Gon replied in that wisely tone Obi-Wan had always found comforting.

Obi-Wan paced around considering his feelings. "I didn't know they had married. And I didn't know she was pregnant untill the very last. Anakin and I had been on mission after mission and I hadn't seen Padmé since the Azure mission – " Obi-Wan passed his hand on his brow before continuing, "that very same mission when Siri died."

"What did you feel when your assumptions about their marriage were more intense?" Qui-Gon didn't need answers, for he knew it all. He wanted Obi-Wan to open his heart and become aware of his feelings towards Padmé. He knew very well that it wouldn't do his Padawan any good to bottle up all those feelings. "Your feelings as a man, not as a Master or a friend."

Obi-Wan draw some breath – a deep breath. "I.. I thought Anakin was too impulsive, too possessive. And Padmé was such a free and independent soul... I think she would have never had that tragic end if she had been with..." Obi-Wan hessitated. "If she had been with..."

"You." Qui-Gon finished for Obi-Wan.