If nothing else, Megamind was a gentleman.

Which, despite his last visit, Miss Ritchi didn't believe that quite yet, but on a particular Tuesday afternoon in early August she was given reason to change her mind. Much to the frustration of Megamind.

Megamind had put together what he believed to be his best plan yet. A good old classic rocket, which he would strap Miss Ritchi to, with an army of his newer brainbots to distract Metro Man. Of course he didn't plan to actually… kill the young mother. No. But a little fun never happened without a bruise or two to show off, right?

"Minion," he calls to his fishy companion, sitting in the invisible car as they wait for Miss Ritchi to arrive. It's around ten in the afternoon, and he knew his main damsel had a semi-important report to make on the reopening of Metro City Public Library. Hmm. He was tempted to wait until after she gave the report, since this did spark his interest somewhat.

"Yes, Sir?" Minion clacks away at the keyboard to his computer, sitting at the driver's seat. Megamind glanced at the screen from the corner of his eye, unsurprised to see his only friend scrolling through what looked like oatmeal recipes. Huffing, the blue alien turned back to gaze out the window. Autumn was rolling in. Though the remains of summer were still evident, the air was cooled with soft icy kisses, a few flowers still in bloom. He watched as a bee hovered over a purple tulip on the flower bed out front of the library.

"What do you think of Miss Ritchi?"

He hears Minion's suit turn a bit. "Uh, sorry?"

"Miss Ritchi. She's a the perfect example of a healthy woman in her prime, no?"

Minion shrugs his robotic shoulders. "I guess?"

Megamind grunts in response, throwing his legs onto the dashboard as he tries to get comfortable. He didn't care much for being in small spaces for long amounts of time, and his legs were itching to get out and stretch. But at least he could exercise his mind over the one really fascinating thing. Miss Ritchi and the Ritchi Offspring. He had yet to have any hint toward the father of the child, and the soup incident was about seven weeks ago. She hadn't graced him with any knowledge of her offspring, nor texted him again. She might as well live alone. Did she have other family members? Did they help? Where was the boy during the weekday? At this "day-care"? Was that the only help she received? By the sounds of it the place had to cost money, as most education did. Ugh. Humanity was so fickle.

In his earliest memories, his parents hardly left him alone, but if they did, and they did exactly four times for under half an hour in his eight days of life back where he was born, he stayed with others with similar features as his parents, indicating related DNA, joined with a few others that weren't. Someone was always helping another, even if there was no similar blood ties. People, he found, rarely did that on Earth without an underlining reason. Like money.

It kind of pissed him off.

Pulling him out of his thoughts, he heard the familiar sound of the news van putting up the street, coming to a careful to a halt in front of the library. After a moment, out came Roxanne herself, dressed in a lovely black pencil skirt, with a waist-cinching red dress coat with shiny black buttons. Impatient to start his brilliant plan, and eager to see her reaction to his new and improved bots, he jumped out the second she shut the driver side door. She appeared to be alone, no sign of her elderly Asian cameraman in sight. "Now, Minion!"

She barely let out a squeak as Minion sprayed her, and Megamind caught her around the waist gracefully, reminding him of a dance.

"Now, quickly! We must make he—"

"Mr. Blue?"

He froze.

Whipping his head around, his wide green eyes fell upon the passenger seat within the car.

Oh, Evil Gods. No, not now…

The offspring was buckled in a cushioned car seat, strapped in securely as if his mother feared he'd fly out the windshield. He's wearing blue jeans and a short sleeved red t-shirt, with a long sleeves undershirt beneath. There's color in his face, unlike before. Still paler than his mother, but he looks healthier than before.

"My mommy's letting me work with her today!" He announced happily, voice muffled by the car. When Megamind didn't respond immediately, Aiden frowns and a mild look of panic forms across his brows. "Mr. Blue?"

"Uh," Megamind glances to Minion. Minion, though informed that their damsel is a mother of a three-year-old, had never seen Aiden until know. He wonders what's going on in his companion's little mind. "Uh, right! Ritchi Offspring!" He shouts, and hands the unconscious Roxanne to Minion as he goes to the boy's door, opening it wide. Aiden is pleased by this, and bounces in his chair.

"Are you and mommy gonna be on TV?"

"Maybe," he says, because honestly he doesn't know at this point. He swore to Roxanne he'd never involve the boy, in any of his evil plans, but he was now at a predicament.

"My mommy works on TV."

"I am well aware…"

"Do you work on TV, too?"

"No."

"Where's Mommy?"

"Uh. Restroom."

Fidgeting in his spot for a moment, Megamind has to build up the courage to come in contact with the child again. He'll have to, as Minion's hands are too big and too rough to handle the small boy, and he looks much to bewildered to actually see the boy for real. And, they can't leave a blind child strapped in a van with no one around. That's just… about as bad as involving him in Megamind's plans. Even if they give up on the plan completely and leave Roxanne in the car, he fears the boy might panic with his mother unable to wake up.

Carefully, he reaches over and unbuckles the child, swearing quietly under his breath as he struggles with the black straps. God, do people want children to be tied like this? Not even he tied Miss Ritchi as complex as this car seat!

"You said a bad word!"

Silently snarling, he ignores the boy as he finally, after two full minutes, he prevails over the wretched car seat. Freed from his bondage, Aiden untangles himself and twists around onto his front, sliding down onto the floor of the van. Seeing him struggle, but clearly determined, Megamind tentatively tucked his hands under the boy's arms and set him down.

"This is Miss Ritchi's son?"

"Yes," Megamind answers his companion, numbly watching Aiden reaching out for him. Oh god. Megamind tenses up as the offspring grabs onto his hand.

"You have long fingers," comments the child. Megamind huffs in annoyance, but surprisingly its halfhearted.

"They are."

"What's this?" Aiden tugs on his gloved fingers.

"Leather."

"What's that?"

"Dried skin."

"Skin?"

"Kidskin, precisely. "

Aiden's reaction is comical.

"Uh, Sir?"

Megamind looks to Minion, pleading for help in someway. Both of them are clueless. Here they are, standing out in the open, with Miss Ritchi slung over Minion's shoulder, and Megamind holding the hand of a small, guardian-less child. Do they… just carry on with their plans and put Aiden away in a safe room? But the offspring shouldn't… be alone, right? To many sharp things in the Lair. Some of the brainbots like to bite. Megamind looks at Miss Ritchi's sleeping face, oblivious to the situation at hand. Hm. Tapping his chin, Megamind finally makes his decision.

"I think, my fishy friend, we should cancel today's plans."

Aiden stirs at his, still holding onto Megamind's hand. "Mommy's not gonna be on TV?"

"No, my dear child," Megamind exclaims dramatically, bouncing on the balls of his feet as he walks toward the invisible car. Aiden follows closely, gripping the alien's hand a little tighter.

It's quite a novice experience to hold someone's hand. Aiden's very warm and tiny. "Where's Mommy?"

Megamind panics, glancing to Minion. Said woman is slung over his shoulder. Minion shakes his little body in his fish bowl head, as if to warn his charge/master of the dangers of telling the truth. "Um, she's asleep. Yes. Very asleep! Mummy is tired, so my friend and I will take you home."

Aiden halts. It nearly pulls Megamind's arm out its socket. "I want my mommy."

"She's here," Megamind stresses, "she's just asleep."

"Why?"

"She's tried!"

"Why?"

If Megamind had a head full of hair, he'd be pulling it out by now. Gritting his teeth, but trying to contain his annoyance at the small child's questions, he picks Aiden up under the arms again. He places him in the backseat, pulling the belt over him. The boy's too small. Aiden chirps, "I need my car seat!"

Snapping his fingers, he gets Minion to place their unconscious lady in the backseat beside Aiden. Feeling her being set beside him, he wiggles close and immediately places his hands on her. She's unmoving. Shouting, the boy says in excited alarm, "Mommy is sleeping!"

Minion gets the car seat, puts it on the seat, and both he and Megamind share a long look and wonder how they're gonna do this. He bends his head inside the car and examines the seat—lots of buckles and holes. Uh. He pulls the seat belt and pulls it over the seat, but that's not quite right. He tries looping it through one of the holes in the back, but—that's not right, either! With Minion making semi-useful advice behind him, Megamind gives up and just presses his whole weight into the seat, wraps the belt around, ties it twice, and drops Aiden in and does the little belts. At least that he can do.

Aiden, though he can't see anything, is giggling like crazy, squirming in his seat. If Megamind wasn't trying to pull his chin hairs out, he might find it funny, too.

As Minion starts the car, Megamind watches the blind child from the rear view mirror. He's prattling away about his mother's job, using a voice that fluctuates between a small adult and baby's, commenting that she was the prettiest lady in the whole workspace. "And she works with all the best people," Aiden says, mouthing words very carefully, stressing each syllable. "And Grandma comes over, and Mr. Scott, and—" Megamind momentarily has a meltdown at 'Mr. Scott' "—Uncle Bernard, and Mr. Carlos, and Mr. Zhang, and—"

"We're here!" He announced, Minion pulling to a stop with a loud screech of the tires. Aiden yelps, but laughs hysterically with a clap of his hands as his mother falls against his car seat.

Slamming the door shut behind him, both he and Minion get out, Megamind attending to the terror that was Aiden's car seat, and Minion scooping Miss Ritchi up. Aiden grips onto his hand again, which, Megamind finds, is still strange and new, yet he is becoming use to it. Sort of. But more than ever is he glad he wears gloves.

When they burst through the front doors of the Ritchi's apartment building, a security guard jumps up in his seat and grabs for what looks like a gun. Megamind, acting faster, dehydrates the man and huffs at the small blue cube left behind. Aiden, completely oblivious, asks, "Where's Mr. Carlos? He always says hi."

"Uh," Megamind assumes it's the man he just dehydrated. "A bit busy. Come, offspring."

They get in the elevator, and while going for their floor, Aiden pipes up again, "Why is the elevator so loud?"

Megamind twists his jaw. It's actually quite a good question, and now that he's focusing on the sound, he can't ignore it. They really should get a person to look at this. "I'm guessing a loose pipe is scratching against the wall."

"Is that bad?"

"Not really."

"Could it?"

"Perhaps."

"Why?"

Megamind could care less, so he shrugs. But Aiden is still staring at his direction, albeit sightless.

"I don't know."

"How does it work?"

"What work?"

"The elevator."

Why must he ask so many questions?

But Megamind jumps into the explanation with all the knowledge he happens to have on the elevator system, sparing no details as to quench the boy's thirst of knowledge. Which Megamind can admire. Yes. Aiden must be as smart as his mother.

"You know lots of stuff, Mr. Blue," remarks Aiden, tugging on his hand.

Megamind is glad the child can't see the slight lilac blush on his face at that. Of course he was smart… the smartest being in this galaxy. But no one liked to admit it.

Except for Aiden Ritchi.

As they finally arrive at their door, Megamind and Minion both glance at each other and then at Miss Ritchi. She was bound to wake up soon, and he couldn't just leave them here. No. But having no way to get in… Oh whatever. Megamind pulls out a little wire he keeps in his utility belt and breaks into their apartment. Aiden lets go of Megamind's hand and walks in happily, clearly in an environment he's aware of and comfortable in.

They place Roxanne at the couch, to which Aiden tells them they must tuck her in nicely. The boy provides a baby blanket, decorated in little paw prints, and throws it over his mother with a sloppy kiss to her lips. She doesn't move.

"She should wake up by now," Minion says nervously. Megamind nods, and rubs his hands together. They should go before she wakes up. Secondly he needs to go and call off the brainbots, disarm the rocket for now, and basically clean up the Lair because clearly, no evil plan today.

"I'm hungry."

Both aliens stare at the boy. Megamind shifts, looking around for something to take care of the young human's need.

"How about an apple?" Minion addresses the boy for the first time. "It's a healthy snack."

"I want food."

"That is food," Megamind supplies.

"No, I want food," insists the boy. "Mommy said we'd get lunch after!"

Megamind and Minion both panic. A quick escape was the first solution on his mind, for Miss Ritchi would wake up soon and then tend to her hungry offspring. But Minion, Megamind thinks back to, had given her a slightly larger dose than usual as they planned to set up a little longer than usual. So she had about ten more minutes until she came to.

Sighing, he looks to Minion and gestures. Minion was the caretaker, not him. But Minion's specially was in Megamind, and Megamind's needs as a child (and now), so technically both of them were clueless when it came to human children.

Minion finally shook himself to reality and stomped over to the kitchen. He opened the fridge and shrugged his shoulders. Meanwhile, Aiden rotated between his mother and to Megamind, oddly enough.

"Can we have mac and cheese?"

Megamind winced. He was well aware of the dish. Sometimes they serves it at the prison, and it was rather bland and unappetizing. The only thing appealing about it was the color. Which he knew Aiden could not enjoy, unfortunately. Minion, however, piped up. "I saw a fascinating recipe for it just recently, sir! Can we?"

Why are they asking him this?

"Just feed the offspring," Megamind groans, and sits on the floor.

Aiden senses this, and squats down. But then he shoots up and says, "I'll be right back!"

Questioningly, he watches the boy march up the stairs, carefully, and vanish into a room. Then, Aiden comes back with the stuffed animal he had the first time. When he comes back, he finds Megamind with a pat to his head. "You have no hair!" Dodging, as Megamind really dislikes it when anyone touches his head, he accidentally lets Aiden fall into his lap. Megamind winces, and scoots away.

"Why are you bald?"

"Because I can't grow hair on my head."

"Why?"

Megamind sighs. "Just because."

"This is Mr. Toothy," says the boy, and puts his stuffed crocodile toy in Megamind's hands. "He's a al'gator."

"Crocodile," he corrects. "See the muzzle? Like a 'V'. An alligator has a 'U' shaped muzzle." Aiden runs his hands down the green little toy, and his mouth forms a little 'o'.

Aiden latches onto this information, and asks more questions.

From then on, with Minion taking over the Ritchi kitchen, Megamind entertains the boy by answering a endless amount of seemingly simple yet complex questions. Aiden is very bright, and very curious, and wants to touch Megamind as much as possible, which is frustrating, as Megamind does not want to be touched, and tries to avoid the doubtless boxful of questions that would come with, like: "Why's your head big? Why are your ears pointy? Why are there two heartbeats in your chest?"

"Additionally," Megamind elaborated, "bats also nurse their young, so they are most certainly mammals! Not avifaunal!"

"What's ay-vi-fawn-all?"

"Birds."

"You could just say birds," interrupts an amused chuckle.

Megamind freezes, caught red-headed with the Ritchi Offspring sitting beside him on the floor. Looking up, he sees Roxanne herself sitting up on the couch, watching them with her chin perched on her fist, elbow on her knee.

"Mommy!" Exclaims Aiden, bolts up to throw himself onto his young mother. She laughs and hugs him, mushing up his hair.

"Hey, booger!"

"You sleep'ed for a looooooong time."

"I did, didn't I?" She shoots her serial kidnapper a look over her son's head. He frowns, but stands up and brushes off nonexistent dust.

"Well, now that you're up now," Megamind drawls, as if deeply annoyed, "I guess we'll be finally going. Come, Minion!"

"Coming, Sir!" His fishy friend shouts, just as he's shutting the door to the oven. "Miss Ritchi, I made some macaroni. I hope you don't mind?"

"No," she says cautiously, still embracing her son. "Needed to use the cheese soon anyway."

"Enough chit-chat," the supervillain whines, marching to the door. "We have plenty of evil to do! Goodbye, Miss Ritchi! We shall meet again!"

"Bye bye, Mr. Blue!"

Megamind pauses, but responds stiffly with, "Offspring."

He leaves with a curious feeling in his stomach.

~.~.~

Two hours later, he gets a text. It's from her.

Thank Minion for mac'n'cheese. Aiden loved it.

A few seconds later.

We both did. Recipe, please?

Megamind doesn't respond, but when he sees her again, two days later, he hands it to her in a tightly folded slip of paper during his evil monologue.