Snow~Fall and Delirium

Chapter 4, Reality is clearly not on my side

*A/N- As always, super duper thanks to my awesome beta. THEsnapcrakklepop for your fantastic red pen…err, green pen…whatever. Thanks!

Thanks to all the fabulous readers who are rec'ing this out to others, hence the story alerts and favorites I keep seeing coming across my inbox. You all are the best!

Well, only one more to go after this chapter! Edward won't make an appearance in this one, but you will get to find out if he's real or imaginary. Hope you enjoy. Hit that review button and let me know. Peace out!

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight and its characters…I do not. I just like to make them crazy…literally.©2011 WickedCurveBall74/RobsMyEdibleArt, All rights reserved worldwide.

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Last time, on Snow~Fall and Delirium:

I wasn't satisfied in the least. I had so many questions and most of all, if I couldn't have Edward in real life, at least I could've dreamed about him again, seen his eyes, his wild, bronze hair, his chiseled jaw with a hint of stubble. But no, my stupid crazy mind couldn't even give me that much. I felt like I was in purgatory.

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The next morning, I awoke alone in the same warm, beige-colored room I'd been in. Somehow this comforted me, although I was still in the dark, so-to-speak, about what had actually happened.

A little while later, Doctor Cullen came in and explained to me that I'd apparently had an allergic reaction to the medication I was taking for a sinus infection prior to my hospitalization. It had caused my body to go into shock…anaphylactic shock, he called it. I'd stopped breathing, apparently more than once, so I was told. This was why they'd intubated me.

"So," I began, "I've been here for how long?"

He smiled warmly before responding. "This would be your fourth day. If you do well today, we'll let you out of here tomorrow."

Three full days I'd been here. Three days that I thought I was on a ski trip in the mountains, falling in love with an amazing man. "Are…we in Hurricane Ridge?" I asked timidly.

He looked puzzled for a moment before shaking his head. "No, you're in Seattle, Isabella, at Harborview Medical Center. You were transported here via ambulance from your apartment. You're friend, Rosalie, I believe, was with you. You don't remember?" He looked a little concerned but masked it well.

You're telling me, buddy. If you knew what the hell I do remember, you'd have me committed.

I wanted, so badly, to ask him just exactly who it was who'd brought me in. Was it his son? Was his son's name Edward…a.k.a the most beautiful, thoughtful, amazing man on the face of the earth? My inner thoughts were screaming at me to just ask the fucking question, but I couldn't do it. I needed to talk to someone whom I knew wouldn't think I was crazy. Or, if she did, would still love me despite my delusions.

Rose.

I shook my head slightly and shrugged, looking at my fidgeting hands. "Some of it. I think I have bits and pieces."

He placed a warm hand on my busy ones and I felt a sense of calm settle over me. "That's to be expected, Isabella."

"Just Bella," I corrected him again and he nodded, smiling.

"Alright then, Bella. The brain is a curious thing, let's not forget. You may remember more later, but don't stress too much over it. In an unconscious state, especially a near death state, as you were in for a brief period, a person may be completely in the dark…or the brain may conjure up images and situations that keep you in a state of limbo, if you will. Like I said, I don't expect you to remember things while you were unconscious, okay?"

"Okay, Doctor Cullen," I responded and smiled, although my head was spinning again with the words he'd mentioned.

Brain…unconscious…conjure up images and situations…limbo.

What the hell did that all mean?

I knew exactly what it meant. My fucking brain had created Edward and the ski trip…and the love I felt for him to keep me what? To keep me alive? Oh, I wished he was real so that I could tell him just how alive he'd kept me. But, why did he die then? Because it was time for me to come back. Because I couldn't stay with him in limbo forever.

Goddamn it, I needed answers and was too worried about being seen as a nut job to ask them!

"Please," Doctor Cullen tore me from my internal questions, "call me Carlisle."

I stopped breathing momentarily and the heart monitor began to beep a little quicker. His eyes darted from me to the machine and back to me as he looked at me quizzically. "C—Carlisle?" I asked on my breath.

"Yes," he replied nodding. "That's my name. I prefer to be informal with my patients."

"Oh." I nodded. I couldn't get anything else to come out of my mouth as I was, once again, stunned. So his name was Carlisle. Suck on that, screwed up brain. I taunted myself. Not everything was a fabrication. Now, I just needed to find out if the love of my life was real. How I was going to do that, I had no idea. Okay, maybe one idea…Rosalie.

Almost as if on cue, I heard my best friend's melodic voice in the doorway. "Knock, knock," she said as she tapped on the wooden door frame.

I smiled genuinely, waving her in as Doctor Cullen…Carlisle…said his goodbyes for now and made his way to the door. He did ask Rosalie one thing that caught my attention immensely as he left. "Are those boys behaving themselves?" To which Rosalie blushed slightly and nodded.

"As well as grown little boys can," she replied with a slight smile and darted her eyes to me, then back to Carlisle.

What fucking boys?

She walked over to me with a smirk and placed a brown paper sack on my lap. "Good morning sunshine," she giggled. "And how are we feeling today? I brought your favorite, so eat up. Doc says you need to gain your strength so you can get the hades out of here tomorrow."

"Well, I'm better, I guess…" I trailed off as I peered into the bag and smiled. I knew there was a reason she was my best friend. She'd brought my favorite: whole grain bagels with strawberry cream cheese. Yum. I proceeded to smear the cream cheese all over one half of the already sectioned bagel and crammed a very large bite into my mouth. "Wosawee…you are the befffffttt!" I muffled with a mouth full of deliciousness.

Rose rolled her eyes at me. "I know," she responded modestly, and then picked up the remote, flicking the television suspended in the corner of the room on. "So what's on the agenda today, Bells? Have your parents been back in to hound the shit out of you yet?" She snorted. "Oh my God, they're still talking about that snowmobile accident that happened the other day. So sad…one of the guys died. Can you imagine?"

I dropped my bagel and swallowed thickly as the food burned its way down my throat. My eyes inadvertently filled up with tears and I grabbed her arm tightly. She turned to me and her mouth fell open in shock as she took in my facial expression.

"Bella? Oh, honey, what's wrong? Are…are you okay? Can you breathe? Shit, where is that fucking call button!" She scrambled to get up from where she was sitting, but I held onto her tightly and shook my head.

She stopped and looked at me as I took a deep, cleansing breath and blew it out slowly. "I'm…okay, I think," I muttered and she grabbed her chest, blowing out a sigh of relief.

"Don't fucking do that to me again. Jesus!" she complained.

"I'm sorry, it's just that…" I pointed to the TV. "…that really happened? Oh God, and he really died?" I had fresh tears now and my friend was staring at me like I was a mental patient. Maybe I should've been moved to the psych ward.

"Bells, what are you talking about? You were unconscious when that news story broke, and we…we didn't even know the guy. Why are you crying? You're freaking me out, Bella, please talk to me."

"Tell me what happened t—to the guy on the snowmobile, Rosie, please." I asked with a broken voice.

She took a deep breath and proceeded to tell me that these two guys were showing off for their girlfriends up in Hurricane Ridge. One of them swerved to miss a skier and hit a tree. He bled out on the snow with his friends watching in horror. The paramedics got there and worked on him feverishly, but he didn't make it.

I couldn't believe the amount of déjà-vu I was experiencing and I smacked my hands over my face as I shuddered.

"Bells, I swear to God, you better talk to me or I'm calling your parents, who told me they weren't going to bother you today, but so help me…" she trailed off in her worried threat. I knew she would do it too, so I began to recount everything from the beginning.

"I was so mad at you when I woke up," I began and she furrowed her brow in confusion.

"What? Why? What the hell did I do?" she asked and shook her head.

I chuckled through my drying tears and shook my head as well. "Nothing apparently. You're going to think I'm completely insane." I looked at her warily as she rolled her eyes in her signature move.

"Well, that's beside the point. I don't think, I know you're insane, but that's one of the reasons I love you so much, Bells."

"No, I'm serious this time," I replied. "I just wish I hadn't made it all up…made him up." My bottom lip began to quiver again and my eyes pooled with fresh tears. Rose sat on the edge of my bed and scooted toward me. She wrapped her arms around me and pulled me into a loving embrace.

"Bells, made what up? Him who? Please tell me what you're talking about. I'm your best friend. You know I'll love you even if you're completely, certifiably fucked in the head."

I laughed as I pulled back from her and she wiped my ridiculous tears away. "Just answer me one question, Rosie," I said and she nodded so I continued. "Did we, or did we not go on a ski trip to Hurricane Ridge, uh, recently?"

She stood up and laughed out loud as I rolled my eyes. So much for loving me no matter what. "Wow, that you would even think I would attempt to get you to do anything in even the same vicinity as snow skiing makes me think that you hit your head, hard, along with being sick as a dog!" I glared at her. "Uh, no…no we didn't." She was holding back more laughter and I debated on whether I needed to subject myself to this shit or not. Apparently I did, because I kept talking.

"So…you didn't bet me to ski down a bowl, and I didn't hit a boulder and get a terrible concussion that landed me in an ambulance, driven by an EMT named Emmett, where I met the most amazingly gorgeous and sexy EMT on the planet, named Edward? After which, we spent the week with them and both of us fell madly in love with them, only for Edward to get into a terrible snowmobile accident and die right in front of my eyes? None of that happened, right, Rose?" I searched her eyes, which had widened to the size of half-dollars.

Her face resembled someone who had seen a ghost and she wasn't even blinking. Her mouth had fallen open and she began shaking her head very slowly. "Rose?" I asked as I watched her begin to blink.

"How did you…Bella, you remember them?" she muttered.

I was shell-shocked for a minute. Remember them?

I had to know if the two men I had mentioned were real and not just figments of my imagination, so I asked, "Remember who?"

"Emmett and Edward," she replied, keeping the dumbfounded look on her face. "Well, I mean, his close friends call him 'MC'," she said with a slight blush.

My hand flew to my mouth and I covered up the gasp that escaped it. "You mean, you mean I didn't make them up? You mean, they're real people?"

She nodded slowly and eyed me skeptically before taking a deep breath and grabbing my hands tightly. "Bells, tell me everything you remember. I don't care if it didn't happen, I want to hear all of it." She seemed to be on a mission, trying to figure something out that I couldn't understand, but I heeded her request and began to recount every detail that my brain could recall of my fabricated week. She laughed when I recalled the ambulance and seeing Edward for the first time when I muttered that he was fucking gorgeous.

"You totally did that," she chuckled, "it was so funny, but not so much when you passed out again."

That explained a little bit of my memory loss. I continued to recount the week's events. She blushed, her face exploding in a flame of red when I mentioned her escapades with Emmett, and shook her head, almost in awe when I mentioned all the things that Edward had told me about himself. I mentioned the flowers and balloons he'd brought me when I'd woken up that day in the hospital…or so I thought..,and her eyes darted to the very same bouquet sitting next to my hospital bed.

"You know," she began cautiously, "he really did bring those in for you, but it's so weird because you were totally unconscious when he did that." She shook her head, as if she was lost in thought, trying to figure all of it out.

Tell me about it, I thought.

I continued telling her about the week that didn't happen and she continued to listen very intently. She blushed a rich crimson again when I told her of the night she spent with Emmett and I briefly wondered if she'd done just that. She hadn't mentioned him since I'd really woken up the day before, but then again, neither had I. She laughed wickedly when I told her…in excruciating detail…about the night I spent, but didn't really spend – which stabbed me like a dagger in the heart – with Edward and she slapped me on my leg lightly.

"You are a dirty girl, Bella Marie Swan," she said with a quirked eyebrow, and I rolled my eyes at her. Yes, I already knew and after this, it was painfully obvious that my mind was currently residing in the dark cesspool of the gutter.

Then, I told her of our last day on the vacation that my mind made up so cruelly. I felt the emotion well up in me as I recalled what had happened – but didn't really happen, thank God – to Edward.

"He died, Rosie…at least I thought he died and I felt like I couldn't live without him!" I hiccupped on my sob and scolded myself internally for being such a fucking cry baby about something that didn't even happen, but God, it felt so real.

Rosalie wrapped her arms around me to hush my crying and rubbed circles in my back slowly.

"Shh, Bells, shh, it's okay, honey, look at me." I did just that and hiccupped again as I tried to quiet my emotion. "It didn't happen, okay. You…you must have heard them talking about it on the news and you must have gotten creative in your head. That was when you woke up?"

I nodded. She sat back and shook her head incredulously. "This is amazing, Bells. I can't believe everything you came up with and…it's like you were listening to what was happening around you, even being unconscious, and making up your own world to go with it. Amazing," she said again and I leaned back onto my pillow with a huff. "What? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I pouted, but she gave me a pointed glare, so I elaborated. "It's just that…I knew he was too good to be true. I knew it, and now, I've got these fabricated feelings for a man I don't even fucking know, Rose. Ugh! I think it would've been better if I'd just been lost in a haze of darkness all this time."

Rose grabbed my chin as I'd let my gaze fall to my lap and pulled my head up to look at her, much like my mother used to do and it pissed me off a little. "Girl," she began in her 'gossipy' tone, "you have no idea how closely reality matches fiction here, let me tell you."

"What the hell are you talking about, Rose?"

She better not be fucking with me. I would jump out of this hospital bed and kick her ass right here.

She rolled her eyes again, hesitating, and I was seriously losing patience. "Bella, have you seen the ridiculous bouquet of flowers the man brought you?"

I looked over and my heart skipped a beat. Yes, I had seen them, but I couldn't let myself go there.

"Okay, before you continue," I held my hand up to stop her. "I need to know if I remember him correctly." She raised an eyebrow at me and bit her lip.

"Oh, you mean, you want to make sure your prince charming isn't really a frog?" She chuckled. "Superficial much, Bells?" God she's such a bitch sometimes.

"Well, guess I learned from the best, eh Rosie?"

"Fine," she scowled at me and huffed. "Please, describe your prince, fair Bella. Better yet, describe mine too. We'll see how close you are." She smirked.

I proceeded to describe Edward first. From his clothing that day, to his chaotic bronze hair, breathtaking green eyes, chiseled jaw, slightly crooked nose and tall, lean but muscular, six-foot-two inch stature. I then moved on to Emmett, describing him as huge, the size of a professional linebacker, around the same height as Edward, but with short dark brown hair and blue eyes...almost as gorgeous, but not quite as breathtaking as Edward. I watched as her mouth fell open wider and wider until I thought it was going to hit her lap as she sat on the bed staring at me.

"So," I asked expectantly, "am I close?"

She shook her head in disbelief. "Close? Are you kidding me? You just described them to a T, Bells…and I mean to a T. I can't believe this. This is…a—mazing," she stammered while continuing to shake her head. "All those things you told me that Edward told you? Bells, he did! He sat in here the day he brought those flowers in to you and talked to you. He told you how he grew up in Port Angeles and how Emmett was like a brother to him. He told you he loved to snowboard and…Jesus Christ, Bella, he even mentioned something about 'your boyfriend would be so pissed if he knew he was sitting there talking to his girlfriend.' Oh my God, it was so sweet, it nearly gave me a cavity."

"Wait, you sat in here the whole time he did?" I asked with raised eyebrows. "Hold on a minute, Rose. Did you call him McDreamy?" I had to know if I'd heard that or came up with it on my own, because it sounded just like my sarcastic best friend.

"Holy shit!" She howled with laughter. "Yes, I did! I actually did call him that! And actually, no, Emmett and I stood out in the hallway, trying to listen." She put her hand on her chest dramatically. "He was so smitten with you that it was almost surreal."

Again, your fucking telling me about surreal, I thought.

"He was pretty pissed when he came out and saw us trying to pretend like we were talking to one another, but I played it off like I was super concerned about you and…" I quirked an eyebrow at her. "…I mean, I was super concerned about you, but, oh, you know what I mean! Anyway, I asked him if you'd responded to him and surprisingly, he said you had.

"He said you'd squeezed his hand a couple times and that he could notice your lips twitch a little bit. God, Bells, you should have seen him. It made him so happy that he thought he was getting through to you. I mean, your parents talked to you, I talked to you, the doctor and that nurse, Alice, all talked to you and nothing. Then this strange dude goes in your room, touches your hands and…it was like fucking electricity. I can't explain that. Can you?" She took a deep breath and I held mine.

I shook my head because I couldn't explain it. How could I possibly explain that? I was unconscious, but he somehow brought me back to life? It was insane, it was ridiculous, and I wanted to see him. I wanted to feel him touch me again so badly that it ached inside me.

"Is…is he around?" I asked cautiously, trying to hide my elation that he was real and he was beautiful and he seemed to be interested in me.

Rose shrugged. "I'm sure he's probably working. Em's supposed to call me when his shift is over. I'll ask him." I nodded and then pursed my lips at her.

"Em, huh? So, we're at the 'nickname' phase are we?" I chuckled under my breath and she blushed again. I loved it when I made the confident, sexy Rosalie squirm.

"Uh, we've uh, s—seen each other a couple times," she stuttered, looking at me through her lashes.

"Uh-huh." I smirked. "Spill it, Rosie." Then I gasped. "Oh my God…did you screw him already? You slut!" I roared into a fit of laughter that made my head ache a little.

"What? No!" She blurted with wide eyes, and then ducked her head. "Okay, yes, but…"

"You are such a whore Rosalie Hale!" I nearly screamed with laughter.

"Whatever, Bella! We care about each other! Besides," she glared at me. "You fucked Edward!"

I gasped at her, mockingly. "Nice try, numbskull. That was in my head!"

She shook her head vehemently. "Doesn't matter. As far as you were concerned, it did happen. I should've just let you believe it, and then maybe you wouldn't be such a prude!"

"I am not a prude!" I protested loudly, sounding like I was five and fighting with my best friend over a Barbie or something. Just then, Rose and I jumped at the sound of someone clearing their throat in the doorway.

"Whoa, girls, what are we fighting about?" The voice chuckled loudly and I recognized it immediately.

Emmett.

Oh my God, one of the men from my imagination was here in the flesh. I quickly told myself to get it together because if I'd had that reaction to him, then I could only imagine the coronary I would have if and when I saw Edward again.

"Nothing, baby," Rosalie cooed at him seductively and he laughed again.

"Well, well, well…" He strode into the room confidently and the smile spread across his face was contagious as he looked me over. "Look who decided to wake up. Welcome back, sleeping beauty."

Rose smacked him in the shoulder and he turned to her. He quickly grabbed her around the waist and dipped her dramatically as he attacked her neck with his mouth and she giggled. I rolled my eyes, but then darted them to the door, wondering if he'd brought his friend with him. I didn't have to ask because Rose apparently read my mind and asked for me.

"So, where's McDreamy? I thought you guys were working together today."

He rolled his eyes and chuckled lightly, but then darted his eyes to mine cautiously. "I guess I should introduce myself instead of being rude and making out with your friend in front of you." He grinned and extended his enormous hand. "I'm Emmett. Emmett McCarty. I drove you here when you nearly croaked on your friend here. You're lucky I was driving, Bells…" Bells? Damn, Rose rubbed off on him pretty quickly. No pun intended. "Since I am the best and all."

I smiled at him genuinely. "I remember you, Emmett," I said confidently.

"Oh, you do?" He looked at Rose incredulously and she nodded.

"It was like she was here…but she wasn't. It's so weird," my best friend mused. "Anyway, you didn't answer my question. Where's Edward?"

He nodded his head in my direction, but addressed Rose again. "Does she remember him too?"

She nodded and smirked. "More than you can imagine." I fucking glared at her for that.

"Wait, I have a question," I held up my hand like I was in class or something and Em – as she called him – and Rose both looked at me. "I thought I remembered him telling me he was an only child. I'm confused here. Is Doctor Cullen his father? If so, then what's with Alice…she's his sister?" I felt my head spinning again as I tried to piece things together.

Emmett looked at Rose incredulously. "Are you fucking kidding me?" he asked and Rosalie shook her head, grinning proudly like I'd just won first prize in some amazing contest. He then turned to me and cleared his throat. "Well, uh, actually, I'm the one that's an only child. He and Alice are siblings, and Carlisle is their father. Damn, Bells, you remember that conversation?" I nodded reluctantly. "Carlisle…I mean, Doctor Cullen would love to hear this shit. It fascinates him."

"Oh, no, please don't…" I blurted and Emmett just looked at me. "I mean, I don't really want to talk about it all that much right now, okay?" He nodded and turned back to Rose, who was eyeing him with pursed lips.

"What, gorgeous?" He flashed his toothy grin and I saw her breath hitch. Ugh. Annoying.

"Why are you not answering me? My best friend here would like to know where her prince charming is."

He swallowed and looked over at me quickly before turning his attention back to Rose. "He's uh…he's out with Jessica today." Rose looked at me and her eyes flashed something that I could read from a mile away. Jessica was his girlfriend. I remembered that name…the irritating nurse, or whatever, I thought I'd also conjured up in my befuddled brain. I remember thinking she reminded me of an annoying bitch in one of my classes. Perfect. She probably did work here and wouldn't that just be awesome if she was the same girl from my class. It would just be my luck.

"I don't know…" Emmett continued, "I think, I don't know, but I think maybe they're trying to work things out again." I could tell that he was trying to talk quietly, but his voice was loud in general and I could hear every word.

Rose nodded. "We'll talk about this later, okay?"

He nodded and turned to me. "Well, Bells, maybe I'll see ya later or when you get outta this joint, huh?"

I nodded, trying to hold back the angry tears that wanted to flood my face.

How could I be so stupid, so naïve to think that this drop dead gorgeous fucking guy didn't have twenty five girls waiting in line for him…let alone one. I'm a fucking moron.

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*Chapter End Notes: Alright, collectively now…awww, poor Bells! It's just one thing after another with her. Before you jump all over Edward, let me address this. I won't go into all the gory details as this IS only a short story, but, he was smitten with her. His relationship with Jessica is messy and he is definitely not trying to work things out as Emmett says, but he's trying to let her down easy. Besides, he doesn't even know Bella, really. ;-)

Go ahead and press that review button and let me know how I'm doing on this. I'd really appreciate it! Tune in (hopefully) next week for the conclusion. I think you'll be pleased.

If you're reading FIMMP, my deepest apologies…I'm super slow in updating that. I did, however, contribute a very special outtake to The Fandom Against Domestic Violence. Go check out their blog. If you donate in February, you'll get a complete compilation of our hard work!