HMMM… I wonder what's in store for this chapter. Cough *council* Cough.
"Well then, 117, what do you have to say for yourself?" Elrond asked. John looked at him and started to feel kind of embarrassed. "I'm sorry…that you're GAY!" He laughed maniacally. "Oh my god, I crack myself up sometimes. No seriously though, I'm sorry about killing those elves. Are we cool?" He said holding his hand out, ready for a handshake.
Elrond looked at him with disgust. "I will never defile my own flesh by shaking your hand." He spat. John scoffed and spoke to Cortana under his breath. "Is he PMSing?" He asked. Gandalf laughed along with everyone but Elrond and Legolas. Legolas wondered why no one saw through this horrible excuse for a soldier.
"ENOUGH!" Bellowed Elrond. "The Council shall begin!" All who were called, gathered within the circle; waiting for the debate to begin. There were Elves, Dwarves, two men, and one small boy who looked liked someone just threw a hardcore party in his left ear. "What's with him?" John asked Gandalf. "What's a kid doing here anyway?" Gandalf looked at him, with an "are you kidding me?" kind of look on his face.
"That's Frodo, the hobbit who carries the ring." The wizard replied. "He's just a bit nervous. Plus he got really wasted last night; he probably has a really bad headache." Chief looked at him for a mere moment, and then the council began. Elrond went on to say something about the ring needing to be destroyed in a volcano. John had a better idea.
"How about we just do this?" John asked. He got out of his chair, picked up the ring, threw it about 20 feet away from everyone, and chucked a plasma grenade at it. The grenade detonated and blew the One Ring of Sauron into oblivion. Everyone's jaw dropped. "I'm frigging awesome!" Said John. Heading over to what was left of the ring, tea bagging its ashes.
"WOW…" exclaimed Boromir. "That was one of the easiest things I've ever done."
REWIND….
"So what are we supposed to do?" asked John. "Where is the volcano at?" Elrond was relieved that 117 didn't do something really dumb. Gandalf thought he was going to chuck a grenade at it or something quite similar.
"It is in the black land of Mordor." Elrond replied. "The ancient kingdom of Sauron, it is a very difficult task." Boromir did not want to go there. He would not stand for that crap.
"One does not simply walk into Mortor…" He was interrupted by Aragorn. "What was that?" He said laughing. "Did you just say Mortor?! With a T?" He started laughing uncontrollably. "Wow!" He calmed down a little bit. "Dude, its Mordor, with a D." Boromir looked like he was about to cry. "Don't judge me!" he said. Everyone started to get quiet until Aragorn stopped taunting Boromir. "As I was saying." Continued Boromir. "One does not simply walk into Mordor. Its Black Gate is guarded by more than just orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep. And the Great Eye is ever watchful." Elrond looked at Boromir. "And I suppose you have a better idea?" the elf said sarcastically.
Boromir started to look a little nervous. "Well…uh….how about…." He stammered. "Why don't we use the ring?" Master Chief looked at Boromir and took his opportunity.
"The ring has already taken him!" he declared. "Terminate the source! He must not fire the ring!" No one could react in time before John put an entire clip of bullets into Boromir. Aragorn's jaw dropped.
"Don't worry." John assured. "He was going to try and take the ring anyway." Everyone shrugged their shoulders and let it go. "So…When do we leave?" asked Chief.
