My thoughts were consumed by the rejection of my daughter as I walked slowly down the hall to our bedroom. She surely hated me now, the horrid monster who hurt his little girl. My body was shaking in it's grief as I lay on our bed listening to Bella get Renesme ready for bed. Her crying was reduced to sniffles, but her thoughts were still consumed by her sore bottom and her mother. I couldn't stand it anymore and tried my best to tune them out. I rolled over on to my side and stared out of the window of the bedroom, letting the pain in my heart take over me. I surely deserved it.
I don't know how long I had been there, shaking with tearless, quiet sobs before Bella walked in.
"Edward?" She called softly. I froze at the sound of her voice, pain rocking through me at the love I heard in it. I didn't deserve it, not after what I had done. "Edward." She said again. I heard her slowly move closer, and sigh at my lack of response. "Edward, please look at me."
I took a deep breath and after a moment I reluctantly rolled to face her. "Oh Edward!" After one look at my face she was on the bed next to me in a second, pulling me into her arms.
"She didn't want me Bella." I whispered as my sobs returned with vengeance. I was shaking again as she began rocking me slowly back and forth, stroking my hair lovingly. How odd it was, that she be the one comforting me in this way, the same as I had done with her so many times.
"Edward… it's ok. You did the right thing. She's ok." She murmured softly.
I couldn't help the whimper that escaped my throat at her words. She was ok, yes, but she did not want her daddy anymore.
"Shhh, It's alright." She soothed. "She loves you, she was just upset. You're a wonderful father, Edward." I did not respond to her words, my head filled with doubt.
Slowly I calmed down as Bella continued to sooth me, whispering words of love and comfort, telling me how great of a father a was. I wished I could believe her praises, but my daughter's crying face as she called for her mother plagued my mind.
She pulled away from me a bit and kissed me deeply. "You are a wonderful father and husband. The best. Don't ever doubt yourself. I know it was hard for you, but you did the right thing. I love you." She said softly.
"I love you too." I whispered. "With all I have." She kissed me again, moving to wrap her hands in my hair. I pulled away after a moment, my heart not really in it.
"I'm…. I'm just going to check on her…" I stuttered as I rose from the bed. Bella nodded in response and watched me go.
