Author's Note: This chapter took a ridiculously long time to write. And I obviously haven't gotten to the 'various' ages part yet...
AGE: 16 years old.
Yamato stretched out his legs in front of him and rubbed the back of his neck. They'd been watching this documentary for what seemed like forever. He yawned as the narrator continued to drone on about some war or the other and wondered for the hundredth time how Taichi had managed to convince both him and Sora that taking an elective history course was a good idea. The idiot.
For some unfathomable reason his best friend had suddenly become interested in politics and current events and his enthusiasm for both led him to the erroneous conclusion that taking courses to increase their general knowledge about the world and its history couldn't be anything but fun. The result was that they now had shitloads of homework every day, had to watch at least one documentary every weekend and were forced to prepare a huge list of discussion points before each class. It was only sheer willpower that had prevented Yamato from strangling Taichi every time he laid eyes on the brunet.
Next to him, Sora sighed as she flipped through her notebook and scribbled down a line here or there. Yamato had stopped pretending to care long ago.
"How much of this is left?"
Sora paused the video on her mother's laptop momentarily to check. "About twenty minutes."
"I don't think I remember a time when I wasn't sitting on this couch." He reached over to pick up another soda and slid down further in his seat.
"You haven't even been taking notes though," she replied, not bothering to stop the documentary again.
"I don't really see why I have to," Yamato said with a smirk. He hooked his finger under the cap of the soda can. "When I know that you– what the – !"
The shock of a sudden spray of freezing liquid hitting him made him sit bolt upright. His face and the front of his shirt were completely drenched. He frantically wiped off the soda that was dripping from his eyebrows and stinging his eyes.
Sora erupted into giggles beside him.
"Sora! Hand me a tissue!"
But Sora hugged her notes to her chest to keep them out of harm's way and kept on laughing.
"Shit, shit, shit." When he'd finally gotten the soda out of his eyes, Yamato glared at Sora which only made her giggle even more.
"Sorry," she said, not sounding sorry at all. She finally reached over for a tissue and held it out to him.
So, without warning, he lunged at her.
"What?!" she squeaked. Ducking under his arm, she slipped off the couch before he could grab her properly.
Yamato wasted no time at all going after her.
"You're dripping soda everywhere!" Sora laughed breathlessly. She continued to giggle madly as he chased her around the coffee table. Each time he thought he had her, she twisted out of reach at the last moment. Eventually, they were just running around the couch with Sora grinning triumphantly and Yamato panting. "You really need to work out more!"
"Oh yeah?"
In the end, he simply stepped over the couch and grabbed her from behind. Despite her wild thrashing, he managed to pin her arms to her sides and pushed her up against the wall effectively trapping her there with his body pressed against hers.
"Well, hey." He smirked down at her. There was no way that she was going to escape now.
"Yamato," she warned.
"Yes?" he said innocently as he slipped his fingers under her top.
"Yamato! Don't you dare!" she cried. She tried to push him away but he'd already started tickling her. "Mimi's shirt... she's going... to kill me..." she managed to force out between snorting, gasping for air and struggling not to get her own clothes soaked.
Yamato started laughing at her futile attempts to wriggle free. She was giggling uncontrollably now and her entire body was shaking with mirth. Her face was flushed and her eyes were sparkling. He couldn't help but think that she looked so pretty and incredibly happy.
I love you.
The statement came rushing to his mind – forceful and direct – begging to be uttered. Yamato clamped his mouth shut, terrified that the words would just spill out. His eyes went as round as saucers and he simply froze.
"Yamato?"
I don't love Sora. I can't love Sora.
Sure, he liked Sora a whole lot. She was his girlfriend. He'd had a crush on her forever and he definitely cared about her more than the others. She was smart and kind and fun, and he loved spending time with her.
But I can't… I don't… love her. Not yet. Not so soon! He was astonished that he had even thought that he could. He was crazy! They were only sixteen! They hadn't even been dating for that long! He couldn't start thinking things like that. Or worse, accidentally say it out loud! They'd only just gotten over the initial awkward phase of their relationship and were finally becoming completely comfortable around each other. This could ruin everything and they had been doing so well. Not to mention that Sora would completely freak out.
Yamato shook his head. He was just tired or something. Yeah, that was it. He was just worn out and emotional. He'd be fine tomorrow after a good night's sleep. And he was probably going to laugh at himself for being so stupid in the morning.
"Yamato?" Sora asked again. She was obviously wondering why he hadn't moved and was just gawking at her. She reached out to touch his cheek but he immediately pulled away.
"I should get this off my face," he said hurriedly and ducked into the kitchen in an attempt to hide how red he was. He grabbed a couple of tissues off the counter and tried to wipe the liquid off. His shirt was still wet and sticky, and he felt sort of gross now. "Do you have anything I can change into?" he asked when he thought he wasn't blushing so much any more.
"Yeah, sure." She led the way to her bedroom. He could tell that she was still thoroughly confused about his abrupt change in behaviour. "You okay?" she asked as she offered him one of his own t-shirts that she'd probably forgotten to return.
"Why wouldn't I be?" he answered almost too quickly. He peeled off his soaked shirt and dropped it in her laundry basket. If it had been any other day, he would have smirked at Sora's attempts at pretending that she wasn't staring at him. But he was too distracted to focus on anything other than the fact that he had momentarily lost his head.
He headed to the bathroom and proceeded to wash off as much of the soda as he could from his hair and neck. Then he splashed cold water on his face and told himself to calm the fuck down. This really wasn't a big deal. He'd just been taken by surprise by his own thoughts, that's all. But since they didn't actually mean anything and Sora was never ever going to find out, it didn't matter. Taking a couple of deep breaths, he exited the washroom.
Sora was standing outside waiting for him. "Is everything all right?" she asked once again, her voice laced with concern and her eyebrows furrowed.
Shit. He couldn't do this. He couldn't handle this. The was a very distinct possibility that he was going to blurt out some sort of horrendous confession just to get her to stop looking at him the way she was. He had learnt over the years that at times like these he really couldn't trust himself to speak. He knew without a shadow of a doubt that anything he said now could only end in complete disaster.
Before she could press further, he turned around and walked out of the apartment without saying a word.
Yamato leaned back against the couch and groaned.
His head was hurting.
His thoughts didn't make any sense.
Everything was such a mess.
"Yamato, do you want cheese on your burger?"
All he could think about was the fact that he thought he was in love with Sora. He wasn't actually in love with her. His mind just thought he was. His mind was crazy. His mind was insane. The stupid, idiotic thing always reached the most stupid, idiotic conclusions based on no semblance of rationality whatsoever.
"Yamato?"
I should just ignore myself.
"Son?"
Yeah, that's what I'm going to do from now on.
"Yamato?"
And I will never speak of this again.
"Yamato!"
"I'm in love with Sora!" he blurted out.
Hiroaki actually laughed.
"How the hell is this funny?!"
"Of course, you're in love with her."
"What do you mean of course I'm in love with her?!"
Hiroaki seemed to find his incredulity quite amusing. "I suppose this is why you've been ignoring her for the past few days?"
"I haven't been ignoring her!"
"In all honesty, that's a pretty shitty thing to do even if you are freaked out by your own feelings."
"I'm not being shitty!"
"You don't need to repeat everything I say."
"I'm not repeating everything you say!" Yamato practically shrieked.
Hiroaki chuckled and held up one of his hands in mock surrender. "Okay, okay. But she's left a couple of messages on the answering machine that you haven't responded to, she hasn't been over for a while and it's been ages since you've walked around the house staring at your cell phone with that stupid smile plastered all over your face."
Yamato scowled. "I liked you better when you spent all your time at work."
Hiroaki grinned. "You should tell her."
"That is the dumbest piece of advice you have ever given me."
"Follow your heart, son."
Yamato rolled his eyes as his father started cracking up again. He walked over to the kitchen in a huff and grabbed the burger that was waiting for him.
Hiroaki tried his best to sober down. "But seriously though, what if she feels the same way?"
"She... doesn't," Yamato responded slowly. Now that he thought about it, in all the obsessing he had done over the last five days he hadn't once thought about how Sora might feel about him... because, well, he'd been too focused on trying to convince himself that he was absolutely not in love with her. And that was why he didn't at all expect the tiny flurry of hope he felt in his chest at his father's words. "You think so?"
"I can tell," Hiroaki said.
Yamato raised an eyebrow. His dad sure was acting super cocky.
"Plus," Hiroaki went on casually. "Taichi might have mentioned that he overheard Mimi say–"
Yamato was out the front door even before he could hear the end of that sentence.
She didn't look surprised to see him nor did she seem particularly thrilled that he was standing there.
"Can I come in?" Yamato asked hesitantly.
"If you want." Sora pushed open the door a little wider and without waiting for him, she headed back to the lounge.
Shit. She wasn't mad at him. If she were angry, she would've just told him he was a complete idiot and demanded an explanation. The fact she hadn't meant that he had actually hurt her quite a bit – which wasn't at all surprising since he'd essentially avoided her for the better part of a week without providing any explanation whatsoever. He followed her into the main room, feeling guiltier and guiltier with each step he took.
"Want to watch a movie or something?" he asked when she made no attempt to start a conversation.
Sora shot him an incredulous look.
"Uhh..." His mind scrambled for something else to say. "What were you doing?"
"Homework." She gestured at the coffee table where a few notebooks were laid open indicating that she had indeed been doing her homework.
"Maybe I can help?" he offered.
"It's all the subjects you aren't very good at, Yamato."
Oh. "Maybe we could–"
Sora sighed. "When are you going to get to the part where you explain to me why you've been acting like such a jerk?"
He really, really wished that she'd yelled that at him. He could handle Sora being mad – not that he enjoyed it when she was, but it was definitely easier than dealing with the resigned voice that she was using now. She looked somewhat defeated instead of annoyed like he expected which only served to make him feel even worse than before. "I... have a really good reason for that."
"Which is?" She crossed her arms and regarded him coolly.
He looked around helplessly as if an answer that would satisfy her would suddenly appear out of thin air and save him. "Do you really not want to watch a movie?"
Sora's eyes flashed, and for a second, he was terrified that she was going to march over and strangle him. But she sighed again and sat down on the couch. Then she picked up one of her textbooks.
"Sora?" He made his way over and gingerly took a seat next to her.
At first, he thought she was ignoring him as she continued to stare blankly at the page in front of her.
"I bet it was a really stupid reason, wasn't it?" she said quietly after a few moments.
Yamato tried not to be completely offended. Yes... no... maybe... no. "No."
"Tell me what this was about then."
He thought back to the last few days and all the sleepless nights he'd had as he tried to come to terms with the fact that he was feeling something that he really wasn't prepared for yet. Eventually, he just decided to tell her the truth. "I don't have the words to explain what happened."
"Try."
"I... you... we... I... just don't have the words to explain what happened."
"Well, that certainly clears up everything."
Yamato had two sudden realisations. Firstly, that he really couldn't tell her how he felt now because she was just going to think that he was saying it to get her to stop being angry at him. And he didn't want that at all. Secondly, for the Bearer of Love, Sora could be really freaking clueless sometimes.
"Sora..."
"How do you think this makes me feel, Yamato? You're fine one minute and then you completely freak out on me the next. I don't know what you're thinking, I don't know what you want and I have no idea how you're going to react to anything! You're so moody, and it's just–"
"Sora." He tried to interrupt her but she seemed to be in full lecture mode now.
"– It's so frustrating. And then you come back and act like nothing has happened, as if we can just pick up from where we left off."
"Sora..."
"Why can't you just tell me what happened?" she demanded. For the first time, he realised that the anger was still there, she'd just managed to hide it exceptionally well.
"I... can't." Yamato almost cringed at how inadequate his explanation was.
"Really? Because you have no problem at all coming up with words for your songs."
"Sora, that's not even–"
"So you can talk to everyone in the crowd during one of your concerts but you can't talk to me?"
Yamato almost laughed at how stupid her last question was. "That's completely different," he said, a lot more irritation seeping into his voice than he intended.
"I don't see how. You don't even try–"
"Sora–" He was increasingly becoming exasperated at how much she was interrupting him.
"– and I know that you usually don't like opening up–"
"Sora..." He had no clue what exactly he was going to say when she finally did let him talk, but it really would be nice if she would let him get in a word–
"– but would it really be so terrible for you to maybe–"
"– can you just–"
"– consider the fact that–"
"– stop being so–"
"– you're not the only person–"
"SOMETIMES YOU REALISE SOMETHING AND IT'S REALLY HARD TO TELL PEOPLE HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT THEM," Yamato yelled at her.
He watched the emotions flicker over her face. She seemed shocked at first that he was shouting, then her expression changed to confusion and finally a strange sort of understanding settled over her features. A second later, she completely took him by surprise by wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face in his chest. "You're such an idiot," she murmured.
Yamato blinked.
"You are."
"Uhh... sorry?"
"You should be."
"I am." He put his arms around her hesitantly, wondering if he was really going to be forgiven just like that or if this was a whole new unprecedented level of infuriation that he had yet to understand. This was the shortest blowup he'd ever had with anyone. He'd been expecting her to–
"Yamato, stop it," Sora said gently.
"Stop what?" He honestly didn't think he had been doing anything.
She peered up at him. "Thinking so much, second guessing everything, acting like the world will collapse if you tell someone what you're really thinking."
Yamato stared at her. He couldn't figure out if she understood him completely or didn't understand him at all, and he honestly had no idea which terrified him more. She seemed to be looking at him expectantly now. Was she waiting for an explanation? Acknowledgement that she was right? An apology? Yamato found himself at a complete loss for what to do.
When he failed to respond, Sora's eyes softened even more. She placed a hand on his thigh as she reached up to give him the barest of kisses on his cheek.
He wanted to ask what the hell was going on, but Sora seemed to have lost interest in their conversation altogether. She reached for the huge textbook she had been reading and dumped it onto his lap.
Yamato glanced at it. Physics? He was freaking amazing at physics. "What happened to 'it's all the subjects you aren't very good at, Yamato'?"
She smiled at his imitation as she rested her head on his shoulder. "Well, I guess I am taking up your offer to help me with my homework."
Yamato rolled his eyes. But for the most part, he was just glad that things seemed to have gone back to normal. He decided not to dwell on how or what exactly he had done to fix everything since he didn't think he would ever be able to figure that out at all. "What part do you need help with?"
Sora grinned. "All of it."
"Sora," he said, reaching out for her wrist to stop her from going up.
She was two steps above him so they were almost eye level with each other. "Yes?"
I love you.
"Uh... I... umm... thanks for letting me in."
Sora looked amused. "I'll see you tomorrow," she said before giving him a small wave and turning to leave again.
"Sora, wait," Yamato called her back. He cleared his throat nervously. "I..."
She took a step down and reached out to touch his cheek. "What is it?"
I love you.
"I didn't get a goodnight kiss," he said finally.
Sora gave a soft laugh. She quickly looked behind her to make sure no-one was around and then gave him a tiny, chaste, unsatisfying peck on the lips which only made him wish that he'd said goodbye to her inside instead of on the stairs.
When she pulled back though, her expression had softened again and she looked up at him with her gorgeous, imploring eyes. And it was then that Yamato decided that he didn't care about the consequences, he was going to tell her how he felt because he wanted her to know more than anything else.
So he took her hand and pulled her towards him. "You know that I... err... I..."
The only problem seemed to be actually getting the words out.
"You?"
"I..."
"... can be a complete dumbass sometimes? Need to be handled with care? Should come with an instruction manual?" she offered helpfully.
Yamato smiled at her sheepishly but shook his head anyway.
"Really? None of those things?" Sora teased.
"No."
"Because I could have sworn that just now–"
"Sora."
She laughed at him then. Yamato rolled his eyes and let her because he probably deserved it.
Then he tried again. "I think that I–"
She put a finger on his lips. "I know what you're going to say."
Yamato swallowed heavily. "You... do?"
"Yeah, and it's easy," she said with complete seriousness. "Just repeat after me. Sora Takenouchi, you're smart and you're amazing and I'm crazy about you."
Relief flooded Yamato when he realised that she was joking and hadn't figured out anything at all. He couldn't help but laugh at the cheeky grin she was giving him. A smile tugged the corner of his lips as he cupped her face in his hands and kissed her, for once not caring at all if someone might be watching. "I'm crazy about you," he repeated. He supposed he could be content with that admission for now until he found a way to tell her just how much she meant to him properly.
"Good. Because..." She took a deep breath and an adorable blush crept over her cheeks. "Because I'm falling in love with you."
Author's Note: I hope you guys liked this!
Credit to Ladybug for the title suggestion for this story.
Thank you to all the guest reviewers! And a special thank you to Allynca, Videogamenerd10 and Jippy. Your feedback is always incredibly useful and I really appreciate you guys taking out the time to share your comments :)
