Life Without Love Is No Life Worth Living

Chapter 4: Confronting Your Demons

Since being brought back to life, Sara had been having nightmares on a nightly basis. Some of those nightmares would involve Constantine's attempt at bringing her soul back as unsuccessful; others would be prior to her getting her soul back and letting the monster within her take over until everyone that she held near to her heart was dead: Laurel, her parents, Oliver, Nyssa, Thea, John, Felicity, Roy, Ray, Barry, Cisco, Caitlyn, basically everyone on Team Arrow and Team Flash. Since joining the crew of the Waverider, the nightmares that involved her killing everyone she loved had spread to include Kendra, Mick, Stein, Jax and Leonard. Carter had been in one of those nightmares, but that happened just after Savage had killed him, so she didn't count that. But the first night back in an actual bed, with Leonard's arms wrapped around her, his warm breath hitting her neck, her body fitting perfectly with his, was the first night since she had come out of the Lazarus Pit without a single nightmare.

Now, it wasn't a completely restless night, but it also wasn't a completely restful night either. Instead of her nightmares, her subconscious brought her deepest, and most hidden hopes, to the surface in the form of dreams. Dreams of a cozy little house, with a white picket fence and a family were the highlights. Things that she had wanted for her life when she had been a child. Things that she had thought had been banished from her mind when she had joined the League of Assassins. But what really pulled her into the dreams was the man who sported a matching wedding ring to her own. It was Leonard. The man who had sworn he would never settle down and have a family, especially after what his own father had done to him and his sister. But there they were, husband and wife, with 2 little kids running around the front yard while Sara held a newborn in her arms, Leonard's arms wrapped around her waist from behind.

As the dream had faded, Sara tried desperately to hold onto it, not wanting to leave just yet. But she didn't have a choice, she was being pulled from her subconscious and back into the land of the awake and living. As she first started to come out of REM sleep, she tried to bury herself deeper under the covers so that the warmth could lull her back to sleep, but that didn't work. It wasn't until she was finally awake, with her eyes fighting to stay closed that she realized just why she was being woken up. Leonard was placing a trail of kisses up and down her neck while the hand that had been around her waist throughout the night was now roaming about her stomach and side. Now fully awake, Sara lightly pressed her body back against Leonard's, and she smirked when she received a groan for the action.

"Tease." Leonard breathed into her ear.

"You are the one that is kissing my neck and running your hand over my stomach and side." Sara replied. "Which pulled me out of a very nice dream, thank you very much." She added with a pout as she turned to face him.

"Oh really, and what, pray tell, made this dream such a nice one?" Leonard asked with a smirk.

"It was a hope of mine from when I had been a kid, only much more of a realistic outcome now that I'm older." Sara said, not wanting to scare him off by telling him that they were married and had 3 kids.

"And what is that hope?" Leonard pried. He wasn't going to make this easy on her.

"That I..." Sara started, but stopped short, dropping her gaze from his.

"Sara?" Leonard prompted, bringing his hand up to her chin to raise her head so that she was looking at him again. "I can't make your hopes and dreams a reality if you don't tell me what they are." He added.

"I'm scared that if I tell you everything about the dream that you might leave." Sara admitted.

"I'm not going anywhere. And not just because I wouldn't make it very far with my stab wound." Leonard said, trying to use humor to lighten the suddenly sullen mood.

"I was married, with 3 kids." Sara started slowly.

"And what about that would make me leave?" Leonard asked.

"You were their father." She added in a small voice.

"Oh. I see." Leonard replied shifting in the bed, slightly uncomfortable.

"I know that you said that you don't want to have kids because of how your father treated you and Lisa, and believe me, since I joined the League, I hadn't thought about having a family, but after everything that we've been through these last few months, would having a family really be the worst thing? I mean, we could leave, go back to 2016, and start our lives together." Sara said as she cupped Leonard's face in her hands and searched his eyes with her own.

"I'm not sure if I should even be a father. I didn't exactly have a great role model growing up." Leonard said slowly.

"But that's the best thing, you would know what to do because you had such a poor example. But no one is perfect Len. I mean, we had two young kids and a newborn, so clearly we had to have been doing something right." Sara said.

"Clearly we figured out how to have amazing sex." Leonard muttered.

"I heard that." Sara commented.

"You weren't not supposed to hear it." Leonard retorted.

"Please Len, you said that you wouldn't be able to help make my hopes and dreams come true if I didn't tell you what they were. Well, I'm telling you what they are, so what are you going to do?" Sara asked.

"I'm going to help you get your dream. Just not right away. We just got together a couple of days ago Sara, and I haven't even been able to take you out on a date. I'm not saying that our family won't be a thing, it's just something that will have to wait a little bit, okay?" Leonard asked. The truth was, he wanted to start a family with Sara, and he wanted to start trying right now.

"Okay." Sara said with a disappointed sigh. Screw waiting, she wanted to start her family with Leonard right away.

"Hey, how about this? The next place we stop at, I'll find us a nice place to go and I'll take you to dinner and maybe even a little dancing. How does that sound?" Leonard asked as he brushed some of Sara's hair behind her ear before caressing her cheek with the back of his hand.

"Sounds amazing." Sara breathed out as her eyes fluttered close.

*** MATURE CONTENT – SKIP AHEAD IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ THIS ***

"I'm glad you approve." Leonard whispered into her ear before capturing the lobe between his teeth.

"Len, what are you doing?" Sara asked in a shaky voice.

"Well, if we are going to eventually have 3 kids, don't you think we should start practicing?" Leonard asked with a smirk before pressing his lips to Sara's in a deep and passionate kiss.

Their hands were roaming each other's body, desperately trying to remove the other's clothing without breaking the lip lock that they were involved in. They were able to manage getting each other's pants off, but once it came to their shirts, they had no choice but to pull apart. As Leonard hovered over Sara's body, staring down at her, he couldn't remember a time when he had seen anything more beautiful. Her hair was a mess, her lips were bruised from kissing, her cheeks were flushed, her shirt disheveled; but to him, she was the picture of perfection.

Sara couldn't take the staring. She was very turned on, and she needed Leonard to do something. After pulling her shirt over her head, then doing the same to Leonard's shirt, Sara wrapped her arms around Leonard's neck and pulled him down to her. Pressing her lips to his neck, Sara sucked and nipped at his pulse point, effectively leaving her mark on him. But even that wasn't enough. Sara needed Leonard inside of her, thrusting hard and deep into her pussy. Reaching down between their bodies, Sara grasped Leonard's dick and lined it up with her opening. She doesn't think about what consequences might arise if this tryst turns into a regular thing; she doesn't think about how her possibly ending up pregnant while on a time-traveling ship could make time jumps even more unpleasant; all she thinks about is feeling Leonard's manhood inside her. It's Leonard who thinks of the possible consequences if this gets to that level of their relationship.

"Are you sure?" Leonard asked in a low, lust filled voice.

"I told you that I would be looking forward to you getting me back for my comment about playing with your gun with Mick. I am completely sure." Sara said in an equally lust-filled voice.

"I don't have anything..." Leonard trailed off.

"I don't care Len. I need you right now." Sara replied as she bucked her hips forward, her hand still between their bodies around his dick.

That was all Leonard needed to hear, that his Canary needed him. After swatting her hand away from his dick, Leonard took hold of it himself and rubbed Sara's folds with the tip, letting it slip inside her every few passes. It wasn't long before Sara was a moaning mess beneath him. He hadn't even done much yet and Sara was begging for more. And more he gave. Thrusting his dick into Sara's pussy, Leonard made sure he was buried balls deep before stilling his movements so that Sara could get accustomed to his size.

"Fuck Len." Sara said with admiration. She hadn't been with a man since before her time in the league, that man having been Oliver, but Len was much bigger than Oliver was.

"Would you rather do that? I was thinking that our first time together would be slow and romantic, not fast and unromantic." Leonard commented with a smirk.

"I'm going to say this once Cold, do something." Sara said, bucking her hips again.

"Gladly." Leonard said with a smile before pulling almost all the way out and then thrusting back in.

It had been so long since Sara had had a real life dick inside her that she was falling over the edge in a matter of moments. But Leonard wasn't okay with ending that soon. As Sara came down from her first orgasm, Leonard shifted their position slightly so that he could get a deeper penetration and Sara moaned in pleasure as her second orgasm crashed over her body. Forgetting about their injuries and the world around them, Leonard flipped them over so that his beautiful Canary was on top, riding him. Sara had always enjoyed being on top. It gave her the feeling of being in control of something in her life. And right now, the breadth of her control was Leonard Snart. And Sara couldn't have been happier that Leonard had given up the control instead of her having to take it from him.

Circling her hips against Leonard's, Sara leaned over and started placing hot, open mouthed kisses to his neck and his pecs. Despite his moniker, Leonard was anything but cold under Sara's mouth and hands. Together their bodies were burning up, temporarily melting their respective titles of Crook and Assassin. Lacing her fingers with Leonard's, where his hands laid on the bed by his head, Sara stopped circling her hips and went straight into riding him, hard, all the while their tongues playing tonsil hockey. As her third orgasm- 'damn Len has some amazing stamina' – coursed through her body, finally pulling Leonard's along with it, Sara moaned deep and long into Leonard's mouth as she milked his dick dry.

"We have to even that out some." Sara muttered as she got off of Leonard's dick and laid down at his side, one leg draped over his, and her hand resting on his chest, over his heart.

"What do we have to even out? I loved seeing you come undone three times." Leonard replied with a smirk.

"But you only came once Len… that's not fair." Sara said with a pout as she looked up at him.

"Do you want to make me cum two more times tonight to make it even?" Leonard asked as he took the hand that was resting over his heart and led it down to his hardening dick.

"It doesn't have to be tonight, just the next time we have sex, I want us to cum the same amount of times." Sara replied, still lightly stroking the hardening flesh despite her words.

"You sure that's how you feel sweetheart? Cause your actions say otherwise." Leonard commented as he lightly led Sara's hand to encircle his member, then slowly start pumping it.

"Len, is there something that you would like me to do?" Sara asked with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.

"There's tons that I would like you to do, but for right now, I want that pretty little hand of yours to get me off." He replied.

"What if…" Sara started before kissing down his jawline, "instead of using my hand to get you off…" she continued her trail of kisses down to his chest and abs, "I take this huge dick into my mouth and suck you off?" She finished by giving half a suck to the head of his dick.

"Stop torturing me woman and just get on with it. I don't know if you know this or not, but hard-ons can get extremely painful if they aren't properly taken care of." Leonard commented with a small grunt.

"Oh, don't worry darling, I plan to take care of it properly." Sara replied before taking as much as she could into her mouth and sucking.

Leonard threw his head back onto the pillow as the sensation of Sara sucking his dick hit him. She had a certain technique that he hadn't experienced any other woman having before and it was glorious. Threading his fingers through her hair, Leonard massaged Sara's scalp and upper neck. He could feel the tension in her muscles, but he wasn't sure if that was from her current position, or if it was in regards to what she had told him earlier about Rip having considered not only leaving them behind, but putting their lives at even greater risk when the team had gotten them back, or even a third option of her body just being overly sore from the fight and Savage's torture. No matter what the reason, Leonard wasn't going to pass up the chance to make his Canary feel better when she was in the process of making him feel like he was on cloud 9.

"Sara, I'm so fucking close, don't stop!" Leonard said, his hips bucking just before he shot his load down Sara's throat.

Sara had always prided her self in bed when it came to her having oral sex. It didn't matter if she was eating out another girl's pussy, or if she was giving a guy a blow job, she always made sure that she swallowed every drop of cum, and making a show of swallowing deeply to turn whomever her current lover at the time was on even more. So, when Leonard groaned at seeing Sara swallow every drop of his semen, Sara couldn't help the smirk that played at her lips, which was still around Leonard's dick.

"Come here Canary." Leonard said in a sultry voice that sent a chill down Sara's spine, one that was enough to get her to do what he had said.

"Yes Leonard?" Sara asked, batting her eyelashes, trying to look innocent while her body hovered over his, but failing miserably.

"If we keep having sex like this, we'll go beyond having three kids." Leonard said before pulling her down and pressing his lips to hers in a searing kiss.

"I'm going to let you in on a little secret darling…" Sara muttered against Leonard's lips, "I wouldn't mind having more than three kids with you." She added, giving him a peck on the lips before settling against his side and curling up.

"I wouldn't mind that either." Leonard muttered, closing his eyes and trying to imagine the life that Sara had dreamed about.

*** MATURE CONTENT ENDED – SAFE TO READ FROM HERE ***

It was morning before either of them moved again. Sara was awake first and, after seeing their state of undress, slowly and carefully climbed over Leonard and grabbed his shirt to pull over her head. She was bending over to pick up their thrown clothes when a hum of approval sounded behind her. Glancing over her shoulder, Sara smiled as Leonard took in her appearance.

"I must say Sara, between my shirt and my jacket, I am starting to like seeing you in my clothes." Leonard said, not a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"I would say that I would have to see you in my clothes to even the playing field, but I don't think that'll work very well." Sara replied.

"Probably not. Are you hungry? We can go to the kitchen and I can make you some breakfast." Leonard offered.

"Sounds like a plan. I'm starving. I kind of missed dinner last night." Sara nodded as she grabbed a pair of leggings from her small closet and pulled them on before tossing Leonard his sweats.

Once they were dressed, the couple made their way to the kitchen. And since Leonard's balance was still slightly off, and because there was only so far Sara could go with half of Leonard's weight on her, they stopped many times to share a kiss. By the time they finally made it to the kitchen, most of the team was already there and eating, the only ones missing being Mick and Rip. Kendra and Ray were feeding each other bites off of the other's plate while Stein and Jax talked about any upgrades that could possibly be made to the splicer. With another small kiss, Leonard made his way over to the cabinets while Sara sat down and started talking to Kendra and Ray. It was as Leonard was putting a plate of pancakes down in front of Sara, sat down with his own plate and pulled her onto his lap that the other two members of the team arrived.

"Okay, I owe you all an apology. In my determination to kill Savage, I have neglected to think of the well being of all of you; most recently being my insistence on leaving this current time, despite Ms. Lance and Mr. Snart's almost fatal conditions. I knew, during every conversation with Mr. Palmer about leaving as soon as possible, that I was wrong, but I can be stubborn at times, which you have all seen previously. But the point is, I'm human, as all of you are; I make mistakes, and for the biggest one I almost made, I am truly and deeply sorry." Rip said as he glanced around at everyone.

"Apology accepted. But know this Rip, if you ever try to gamble with mine or Sara's lives again, we will take you out." Leonard commented.

"Duly noted Mr. Snart." Rip said with a small nod.

"Same goes for Kendra and I." Ray added.

"Understood." Rip agreed before glancing at Stein and Jax.

"You are already aware that if one of us is put in jeopardy, then we both are. Do you need some kind of confirmation on that?" Jax asked.

"No, of course not Mr. Jackson." Rip replied.

"If you put anybody's life at risk like that again, I'll burn you." Mick threatened.

"I would expect nothing less from you Mr. Rory." Rip said with another nod before leaving the room.

As Rip left the kitchen, Sara looked around at the others. No one seemed to have actually believed Rip, but they were going to see what happened next. See if he could slowly start to win their trust back, or if he really just wanted control of "his" ship back.

"I call bull shit on that whole speech." Sara commented, getting six nods in agreement.