Chapter 9
When I wake, I am in a hospital bed. I stare around, disoriented. I have gauze wrapped around my side. Huh. I had thought that the girl's spear had missed me. I had been too preoccupied with Brae. My eyes filled with tears. Oh Brae. I envisioned her still wrapped in her blanket. Past harm, but utterly defenseless. I suddenly wish that I could hold the Capitol responsible for her murder. Though she was 12, she looked only about half that. Poor Brae. Poor tributes. All of them. I had killed 6 of them. I gasp, how could that be right. That would mean that I had killed exactly one fourth of everyone in that arena. Unless you count Brae, for I had led her to her death. A doctor walks in.
"Your side will heal nicely, with no scar." He intones
"Am I going insane?" I ask nervously.
"No, most victors go through that, but it will pass." He assures. "Is there anything you want?" The doctor asks
"Um, some water please?" I ask, unsure.
"OK, I'll have some sent up." He says. Then he walks out. Before the water arrives, though, I fall into a deep and troubled slumber.
In my dreams, I relive Brae's last moments. I wake up shaking. A doctor, different from before, injects something into my arm, making me pass out. This time I see the faces of those who I had so callously murdered. They are trying to kill me. To avenge their own deaths. They re-create their wounds on me. The boy from 9 knifes my lungs. The girl from 4 stabs me in the heart. The guy from 12 spears me in the stomach. The boy from 4 shoots my temple with an arrow. But the absolute worst is Riley. He is all over me, and eventually inside of me. I wake up screaming, wishing that I am dead, sure that I will be any minute. And not knowing which would be worse. And then Cecelia is there, comforting me. I eventually calm down. Cecelia leads me back to the room I had used before the Games. She tells me to sleep, and that tomorrow I can rest, and that night will be my interview and the required re-watching of the Games. Some editor has condensed them into 3 hours, and I get to watch them on a giant screen while onstage. Yippee. I fall asleep almost instantly, though again, it is a tormented slumber.
"Wake up, up, up, it's going to be a big, big, day!" Lila announces. I groan and get up. After a pitifully small breakfast, my prep team works on all aspects of me. From my hair to my nails to my face. I am dressed in a soft, pink, knee-length dress with white flats. My make-up makes me look like I'm a little kid. Alec explains that after the obscenities that I yelled at the Capitol when Brae died, I need to be portrayed as innocent as possible. Then he adds: "Why did you care so much for that creature, anyway. I mean, it's not like she even had the slightest chance of winning."
"What do you mean, how could I care for Brae? She was just an innocent little 12 year old who looked about half that. You idiots in the Capitol stole her life, her innocence, her future! You are the creature, not sweet little Brae. How could you be so cruel?" I demand.
"Whatever. It's time to go, anyway." Alec purrs dismissively.
I sprint out of the room and slam the door.
Chapter 10
"So, May Jessica, what do you think?"
"Um, I'm in complete shock, I mean, I hadn't ever thought that I would actually win."
"Well, I'm glad that it was you who won. Everyone else was just trying-and failing-to be someone that they weren't."
"You Capitol citizens listen up!" I demand. "Brae, Jenna, Maxwell, Athene, Alec, and all the other tributes were simply little children who were corrupted and murdered by YOUR cruelty and sick entertainment ideas. I meant every single god-da**ed word that I said in the arena. Brae, an innocent 12 year old, murdered, along with an absolutely countless number of others, because of a rebellion that happened before we were even born, before even our parents were born! I refuse to re watch my Games!" And with that I turned around and stormed off the stage, all the way up to my room, where I collapse onto my bed, sobbing.
When I awaken, Cecelia is sitting on the edge of my bed.
"May, honey, do you want to talk?" Cecelia asks gently.
"He-Caesar-insulted the other tributes and I, um, I... Ah handled it badly." I reply. My face feels thick and hot from crying. "What Happened after I left?" I ask.
"The re-watching of the games was still required, after it was over, some doctor stood up and told everyone how you are now mentally unstable-
"But I'm not!" I interrupt angrily.
"I know your not, honey, but you can't keep screaming anything you want about the Capitol. Either President Snow says that you're insane or he has to kill you." Cecelia explains. "Also, you have your interview tonight, so if I were you, I would shower and eat something before your prep team shows up at noon."
"Ok. Thanks." I respond. After Cecelia leaves, I order an exorbitant amount of rich, delectable, foods. I eat with my hands, shoveling food into my mouth. Again, I merely slam down a few random buttons, and am assaulted by burning hot water, thick soaps, and creamy conditioner. Then I merely sit on the bed until my prep team shows up. And when they do, oh my god. All they talk about is the Games. But it's all about what they were doing, not the dying children in the arena. Eventually, they leave and Alec struts in.
"You wasted all of my efforts last night!" he screams angrily.
"Yeah, like that's my biggest concern." I reply sarcastically, rolling my eyes.
"It should be. You know, President Snow could easily have you executed for treason." He shot back.
I know. President Snow is a cruel, cold, evil man. He kills anyone he wants to, anytime he thinks it convenient. The really attractive victors, he sells. If they refuse, he kills their families. Also, anyone who dares to defy the Capitol in even the tiniest way, either becomes an Avox, or dead. So, yes, I know that President Snow could kill me, but it would make him look bad. And bad publicity for the Capitol because of me isn't worth it.
"I know, but frankly, I just don't give a damn." I respond. And with that, I turn on my heel an walk out.
Chapter 11 The Interview
"Hello Capitol!" Caesar yells "Tonight, I have the privilege of interviewing the victor of the 73 Hunger Games, miss May Jessica Bali!"
"Hello, Caesar, and thanks for having me tonight."
"Well, the pleasure is mine. Now what were you thinking when you were reaped?"
"I was scared. I was sure that I was going to die. District 8 hasn't had a victor in ages,and I'm not particularly powerful, or gifted with weapons."
"What about your district partner, Riley Certix?"
"2 years ago, he asked me out and I refused. A few days later, my dad tried to teach my 5 year old twin siblings, April and March, to swim. Riley saw them, convinced his dad that they were poaching, and his dad is the mayor, so he hung them. All of them. And I can still remember April's last scream. The fear in March's eyes. And my father, he felt responsible. He had to watch 2 of his children hang, before he was. He was leaving behind me, my little sister June, and he never even knew that my mom was pregnant. I felt 100% responsible. If I had just pretended to love Riley, he wouldn't have murdered half my family. So anyway, he still loved me, and he threatened to hurt me if I didn't do what he said. After the first day of training, he raped me. And the whole pregnancy thing was a lie, but it isn't anymore. After the Games, while I was recuperating in the hospital, a doctor told me that I was pregnant, only a week along. And I murdered him. For molesting me, for killing half my family, for being a jerk. I also murdered the boy from 9, the boy from 4, the girl from 4, the boy from 12, Riley, and the boy from 12. To their families and friends, I am sorry. I know that they all had hopes and dreams, memories and qualities that made them each unique and lovable. I know that I will never be able to fill the void I created, but I was forced to kill them. The Capitol made us enemies. I am no more than just a slave of theirs. I hate it, but there is nothing I can do about it. So I'm sorry." I finish.
After that, Caesar asks me a thousand seemingly inane questions about training, the Games, my family and friends back at home. Eventually, I am allowed to go back to my room to sleep. The next day, I go home.
