"Ms. Morgendorffer? Are you okay?" Harvey Marks asked as Daria squirmed in her seat. Next to her, Jane's lips curled up in a lecherous smirk.
"I'm...unnh...I'm fine. Don't-AH! Sorry. Don't mind me..." Daria replied, shooting Jane a dirty look. Marks gave her an odd look and turned to face the camera as the floor manager counted down from three.
"And we're back withour exclusive interview with the Grand Protectorate, Jane Lane. Accompanying the Grand Protectorate is her personal assistant, Daria Morgendorffer. Grand Protectorate, what is your opinion on the recent spate of abductions and disappearances in the Lawndale area that have begun since you assumed leadership?"
Jane grinned. "'Assumed leadership?' Just call it what it is, Harvey, I took over the world. I don't mind. But in response to your question, I'm taking the disappearances very seriously. I worked hard to conquer this planet, and I will not have anyone taking advantage of that hard work to terrify people and kidnap them."
Below the desk, Jane's fingers wiggled in an elaborate manner, causing Daria to let out a shriek that made the entire crew jump. Daria bit her lip and slouched over the desk, trying to hide her bright red face.
"Ms. Morgendorffer?" Harvey said, half climbing out of his seat."Are you sure you're all right?"
Daria let out a strangled squeak of affirmation and nodded her head. Jane turned back to Harvey with a serious expression on her face.
"Daria's a little distraught," she explained. Meanwhile, her fingers probed a little more and found what she was looking for. Daria, her head still resting on the desk, face hidden by her hair, began emitting a series of squeaks which were mistaken for sobs.
"Her mother, Helen, was abducted by a man named Eric Schrecter just after I came to power," Jane continued. "And I want to take this opportunity to let the people of Lawndale know that I will not allow any harm to come to them. That's why I'm the Grand Protectorate."
"And what about Ms. Morgendorffer's mother?" Harvey asked. "What are your plans there?"
"The FBI has been working non-stop on this case, and I have committed a not inconsiderable amount of my own resources to the search. Rest assured, we will find out who has kidnapped Mrs. Morgendorffer and I want to make this clear to whoever did it, just in case they're watching."
Jane turned to face the camera and fixed the lens with an alien stare that made the producers in the control room pale, and the cameraman want to piss himself.
"We WILL find you," Jane said coldly, "And when we do, and we're sure Mrs. Morgendorffer is safe, you are going to find out exactly why the most notorious toy in the Zippotronian arsenal is called a Paingasmer."
"AHHHHHHAHHHHAAAAAA!" Daria screamed, sitting bolt upright and throwing her head back. Jane qucikly brought her hand up form under the desk, wrapped an arm around Daria's shoulders and pulled her close. Daria's moans were muffled by Jane's shoulder.
"I'm sorry, this is apparently too much for her," Jane said with a remorseful glance at Harvey. "Would it be possible to pick this up at another time? I'll be happy to make a hole in my schedule for whatever's convenient for you."
"Yes, yes of course," Harvey said, concerned. "Um...my guest tonight has been Grand Protectorate Jane Lane. We'll be sure to let you know when she will join us again for her follow up interview. I'm Harvey Marks. Good night."
Jane gently patted Daria's head. "That's okay, Daria, let it all out..."
Helen blinked again as the light in the basement was snapped on. It took a minute for the stars in her eyes to fade. When they did, she found Tom Sloane standing in front of her.
"Good news, Helen!" Tom grinned. "Everything came back clean, so I'm pleased to welcome you into the ranks of the Resistance!"
"What the HELL are you talking about, Tom?" Helen snarled. "What resistance?"
"Look around you, Helen! The resistance is here."
Helen looked around as much as she could, given she was still tied to the chair. Her eyes widened as she saw about half a dozen other people also tied to chairs in the room around her. There was Jodie Landon, that nice Mackenzie boy she dated, Quinn's friend Stacy, that Dewitt-Clinton boy with the weird parents, and even more disturbing, Mr. DeMartino and Ms. Li.
What moved the scene from disturbing to outright frightening was the fact that all of them, like Helen, were clad only in their underwear. And as an added horror, Ms. Li's particular choice of undergarment material was shiny black latex with strategically placed metal studs.
"Now that we're all here, " Tom began, rubbing his hands together, "I can outline the strategy that will return control of the planet to the human race...
He crossed over to a tarp covered object and removed the tarp with a flourish. Under the tarp was a large whiteboard covered in incomprehensible phrases and diagrams. He grinned again, his white teeth standing out under the sunglasses he still wore.
"And once that Zippotronian pervert is out of power and the human race has control of the planet, they will give us the greatest reward any of us could receive...CONTROL OVER THE ENTIRE HUMAN RACE!"
The seven captives glanced at each other, all acknowedging that they were thinking the same thing.
Tom Sloane was out of his goddamn mind.
Great Scott! Tom Sloane is nuttier than a tree full of fruitcake eating squirrels! Will the involuntary Resistance be able to stand up against the Grand Protectorate and her Paingasmer? Will Daria recover from the embarassment from orgasming loudly on live TV? Will somebody PLEASE get Ms. Li a robe or a pair of pants or SOMETHING?
These questions may be answered, but will most likely be ignored, in our next mentally disturbing episode!
