"Ooh, the Drama" by Misa-chan with SeiferCross

Cloud woke up the next morning with Aeris sleeping peacefully beside him. He sat up and stretched out his arms and legs. Cloud yawned and got up out of the bed, gathering his clothes up off the floor. He then walked into the bathroom and turned the shower on. 'Man, I've got to get this crap off me... ' Cloud thought, wiping the dried up mud off his body. 'Who knew Aeris was gonna attack me outside and violate me in the mud? I'm not saying I minded... it was just unexpected.' He finished showering and got dressed, then walked back into the bedroom.

"Aeris, wake up... " Cloud sat beside her on the bed and shook her gently.

Aeris rolled over and smiled at Cloud, rubbing her eyes open. ">yawn< Good morning, Cloud." She said. "What time is it?"

"I dunno. It's early, I know that much." Cloud replied. "We've got to get moving soon, we've gotta keep the black materia away from Seph-" Cloud felt around for the black materia, but it wasn't there. "WHAT THE HELL?!?" He shouted.

Later that morning, everyone was sitting at the table, wondering where the black materia could have gone.

"You're all a damn bunch of numb skulls, you know that?" Cid finally spoke up. "Haven't you noticed that a certain Miss Yuffie isn't here?"

Cloud smacked his forehead. "Damn! I never should have trusted her."

Meanwhile...

Yuffie ran through the forest, never stopping to catch a breath. In her hands she held the black materia. Her eyes had a vacant look, not the usual sneaky sparkle. The way she was moving was almost mechanical. She continued to run toward the ShinRa building.

Somewhere else...

"Ooh, I'm so mad! I was almost sure I wouldn't have to track that wussy Cloud down!" Sephiroth slouched. "Now I have to get my cool clothes all dirty and mess my hair... THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT CLOUD STRIFE!" Sephiroth shouted into the sky. He continued to walk along the forest path. "Friggin' A, why can't I have a neat airship or something? Even a lame-ass pink plane that can't fly with a stupid name would be better than walking." Sephiroth stopped dead in his tracks. "What the hell am I doing? I can FLY!" And with that last remark, Sephiroth flew up into the air.

Another somewhere else...

Rude walked with Reno up the stairs in the large building. They turned a corner in the long hallway and went into the room labeled 2-A. Reno looked at Rude worriedly. Rude put a supportive hand on his friend's shoulder.

"It's okay, man. It'll be over before you know it." Rude said.

Reno sighed and opened the door. "Hi. My name's Reno... and I'm an alcoholic."

"Hi Reno." The people in the room greeted him.

Back with the group...

Cloud sighed. "I really hate this idea, guys, but-"

"You are not making us look for that damn little sneak again, Cloud!" Barrett protested.

"But there's no other way!" Cloud yelled.

"Well, let's just think for a minute before you go splitting us up again. If Yuffie took the black materia, what would she do with it? She can't summon meteor or anything like that. I think Yuffie's going to sell it to the ShinRa. It makes perfect sense." Tifa said.

Everyone was silent. Tifa NEVER has an idea, let alone a good one. Cloud nodded. "Good idea, Tifa. Let's do that then."

"Well, we can't go strollin' 'round in the fields, you'd better split us up." Barrett said.

"..." Cloud replied. "Uh Barrett, we're all going in the Highwind."

"Oh." Barrett said.

Soon, everyone boarded the Highwind and headed for Midgar. Aeris stood in the control room nervously.

"Aeris, are you okay?" Red XIII asked her.

"I've never had to parachute before. Is it scary?" Aeris asked.

"It's terrifying." Red XIII simply answered.

"WAAAH!" Aeris cried.

"I was only... oh, nevermind." Red XIII said. It was always hard for everyone to tell if he was joking or not.

Vincent walked into the control room and Aeris ran past him. He watched her run up to the stairs. Vincent sweatdropped. "What's her problem?" He asked.

"She's afraid of parachuting into Midgar." Red XIII said.

"Me too." Vincent said, shaking. "If I were meant to fly, I'd have wings, damn it."

"Uh, Vincent?"

"Yes Cid?"

"When you transform you have wings." Cid said.

"Oh... " Vincent said, suddenly remembering his Chaos form. "I suppose you are right."

Cid scratched the back of his head. 'I guess out of a lycanthrope, a clone, a guy with a damn gun for an arm, a member of an almost extinct race, an overinflated bartender, another member of an almost extinct race, and a stuffed cat, I'm the only normal one here.' He took a drag off his cigarette and looked over the group. '... Yup. I AM the only normal one here.'

Sephiroth looked ahead and saw the Highwind. "Hmmm... that looks an awful lot like the Highwind." He then noticed the writing on the side of the ship. It read 'This is not the Highwind'. "Oh well, maybe I was wrong." Sephiroth said as the ship flew past him.

Inside the Highwind...

"I still think that painting that message on the side of the ship won't be of any help, Cid. Sephiroth isn't stupid." Cloud said. "I mean, c'mon now: 'This is not the Highwind'? Sephiroth is gonna see right through that."

"WELL IT'S WORTH A DAMN TRY!" Cid shouted.

Cloud sweatdropped. 'Why do I argue with this man?' He thought.

Outside...

"Heyyy... that was one dirty trick!" Sephiroth flew back in the direction of the Highwind. He flew by the large window up front and waved to everyone in the control room, smiling. Everyone waved back, then screamed.

"EEK! IT'S SEPHIROTH! HOLD ME I'M SCARED!!!!!"

"BARRETT, GET OFF ME!" Tifa wailed, trying to pry the big man from her.

"Sorry, Tifa. I jes' git scared s'mtimes." Barrett apologized.

"Well, go get scared on Cid or something!" Tifa shouted

Barrett looked over in Cid's direction.

"Oh no ya don't!" Cid said. "I've got a ship ta fly!"

Somewhere in the middle of all the arguing, Sephiroth phased through the window and onto the ship.

"Will you all please stop arguing so I can kill you?" Sephiroth asked, hands on his hips. He was growing rather impatient. "I don't have all day. I still have to feed JENOVA, clean my house, water the flowers-"

"Wow! You like flowers too, Sephy?" Aeris asked.

"Yes I LOVE flowers... and don't call me 'Sephy'!" Sephiroth said.

"Ooh, I love flowers too!" Aeris said.

"Well then, my plans are foiled. I just simply can't kill a fellow gardener, whether she's an Ancient or not... "

"Yaaay!" Aeris said. "Looks like I won't be dying after all!" She looks at the author. "I can't believe you were actually thinking of killing me! I'm your favorite!!!"

Misa-chan sweatdrops. "Sorry Aeris, shame on me." She continues to write...

"You may not be dying, but I came up here to fight, and by golly, that's what I'm gonna do." Sephiroth said. "I may be cool, but I'm still the bad guy. I don't want to get TOO out of character."

"Hmm, good point." Cloud agreed. "Okay Sephy, let's fight then."

"Okie-dokie" Sephiroth said. "... and don't call me 'Sephy'!"

"Sorry Sephers." Cloud apologized.

"Oh, hey that's not too bad. I like 'Sephers'." Sephiroth commented.

"ARE YOU TWO MORONS GONNA FRIGGIN' FIGHT OR WHAT?!?" Cid shouted.

"Oh, right. My bad." Sephers said. He drew his Masamune and pointed it at Cloud. "It's a duel!" He sang a la Final Fantasy 6 (that's 3 in America).

The two men engaged in a sword fight that lasted for about 20 minutes. Sephiroth started to breathe heavily.

"Sephers, are you okay?" Cloud asked.

"I'm just hungry, that's all." Sephers said.

Cloud folded his arms across his chest. "You didn't eat breakfast did you?"

Sephers shook his head. "Nope. I just didn't have time."

"NONSENSE!" Barrett shouted. "There's ALWAYS time for breakfast, y'all!" And with that, Barrett grabbed his 'Kill the Chef' apron and began flipping pancakes.

Everyone sat down on the floor and ate their pancakes. "Wow" Sephers chewed. "These are really good."

"Of course they are, they're mah special recipe! Just a pinch of gunpowder!" Barrett declared.

"Who knew that gunpowder could be so yummy?" Red XIII said, licking his plate clean.

Sephiroth sat back and unbuckled his belt. "Woo, I'm too full to move." He said, rubbing his belly.

No one noticed that Vincent wasn't there.

"Damn imbeciles, looks like I'll have to find Yuffie myself." Vincent thought outloud as he ran through the fileds to Midgar. He reached the guard at the gate.

"Excuse me, sir? Do you have clearance to pass through?" The guard asked.

Vincent frowned. "Clearance?"

"Yes, 'clearance'. If you aren't authorized, I can't let you through."

Vincent stamped his foot. "But this is an emergencyyyyy!" He whined.

"Too bad. You need authorizAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH!"

Vincent removed his claw from the man's intestines. "There's my damn authorization." He moved the dead body to the side with his foot and stepped into Midgar. Vincent walked through the town until he reached the ShinRa building. He went inside and covered his mouth to keep himself from gagging. The floors and walls were bathed in blood. "Looks like Sephiroth came here looking for us."

Vincent explored the ShinRa building until he reached Hojo's lab. He looked down and saw Hojo's head. "Eeeeww!" Vincent said, disgusted. He stepped over Elena's dead body and caught a wiff of her perfume. "Pee-yoo! I'll never understand why Tseng liked that crap." He then made it over to the control room and looked over the various buttons and knobs on the panels.

"Hmm, I wonder what this one does." Vincent pushed an orange button and a coffee maker shot up out of the counter. "Hey, this thing's pretty cool." He continued to push more buttons and various things would shoot out of the walls, come down from the ceiling, or pop up out of the floor. Among these things were a CD player, a TV, a blow-up doll, and a naked lady pen. Vincent sat in the chair and played with the naked lady pen. "Heehee, clothes come on, clothes go off." He said, turning the pen around. Then he heard something behind him. Vincent turned around, dropping the naked lady pen. "Hey Yuffie, I've been looking for you."

Yuffie just stared blankly at him.

"Yuffie?"

"...."

"Are you okay, Yuffie?" Vincent shook her.

Yuffie blinked a few times, the looked up at Vincent. "V-Vincent? Why am I here? I don't remember anything... "

"Don't lie! You stole the black materia and ran here to sell it to the ShinRa... but now there is no ShinRa." Vincent was confused. "Yuffie, just what the hell is going on?!?"

"I don't know! All I know is that Elena kidnapped me and brought me here. I fell asleep and when I woke up, they said they had no use for me... so they let me go. I was reunited with you and the others, but after I went to bed that night, I can't remember anything!" Yuffie turned away. "Everyone always blames me for everything. No one even likes me."

Vincent looked at her. 'Is she crying?' "Yuffie, that's not true. We all like you. Aeris adores you, and even though Cid doesn't show it, he does too. He's always telling me how boring missions are unless you're there to lighten things up."

Yuffie sniffed. "Yeah?"

"Yeah." Vincent said.

"Well, what about you, Vincent?" Yuffie asked.

"I came here for you, didn't I?" He asked. "What does that tell you?"

Yuffie turned to face him and hugged him tightly. Vincent tensed up at first, but then returned Yuffie's embrace. "I'm sorry that I'm always causing so much trouble." Yuffie said.

"You wouldn't be Yuffie if you didn't." Vincent said, smiling. "Come on. Let's get back to the others."

Yuffie nodded. "Okay." She grabbed his hand.

Vincent blushed, then wrapped his fingers around her hand. "Alright." They left the ShinRa building and headed back for the Highwind.

"Are you ready to fight again, Sephers?" Cloud asked.

A loud wail erupted from the bathroom.

"Hmm, guess not."

"Barrett" Aeris asked "What else did you put in those pancakes that would make Sephiroth so... runny?"

"How th' hell should I know?" Barrett replied.

Cid snickered.

"Ciiiiiiiiid... " everyone scolded.

"Whaaat?" Cid asked.

Tifa folded her arms. "What did you do to Sephy's pancakes?"

"Nothing really... just some Ex-Lax..." Cid said quietly. Out of nowhere, a nicely dressed man appeared and handed Cid a suitcase.

Cid opened it. "Thanks man."

The suit-clad man nodded and jumped off the deck, opening his parachute. Everyone watched him go, then turned to Cid.

"Uh, Cid?"

"Yeah Cloud?"

"What the hell was that about?" Cloud asked. "...HEY! I've seen a guy in a suit give you money before too!"

"Yeah." Barrett agreed. "Right after he said-"

"-'Just do it'." Cloud finished.

Suddenly, a guy in a suit popped up and handed Cloud a fistful of money. Cloud was a bit confused, but took it anyway.

"I GET IT!" Aeris shouted. "Those are product representatives! Watch this!" Aeris cleared her throat. "Make 7... Up yours!"

Just as Aeris' suspicions were correct, a man in a suit handed Aeris a stack of money.

"HEY! That's pretty cool." Red XIII said. "Meow meow meow meow, Meow meow meow meow" Then, a suit guy popped up, he gave Red XIII some money.

"This sure beats killing monsters!" Cloud said.

"Bud" Cait Sith started.

"Weis" Red XIII continued.

"Errrr" Barrett finished.

Each of them recieved money from a man in a suit, who'd go away as quickly as he came. Cid looked unamused. "YOU GUYS SUCK!" He shouted.

"What's wrong, Cid?" Aeris asked.

"That was my secret way to get money! Now all you friggin numbskulls are gonna abuse it!" Cid answered.

Sephiroth emerged from the bathroom. "Ugh, I feel sick."

Tifa walked over to him. "Oh, it's okay, Sephy."

Anger swept across Sephiroth's face. "I SAID DON'T CALL ME 'SEPHYYYYYYY'!!!" With that statement, he ran Tifa through. "HAH! That time I got ya!" Then he phased down into the floor, then out of the Highwind.

"Crap..." Tifa said. "I think he got me good." She looked down at what was once her chest.

Everyone's jaws dropped.

"YAAY!" Aeris cheered. "My boobies are bigger than yours!"

"I knew they were too big to be real." Cid said.

Barrett looked at the puddle at Tifa's feet. "Water balloons?"

Tifa nodded. "Well, it kept guys in the age range of 12-18 intrested in the game!"

Everyone fell anime style.

end part 4