31st October 1997 - One hour before – Wammy's House
L took a deep breath. He had waited for this day for two years. He had kept his plans secret and today was the day he would finally reveal them. He took another deep breath and knocked on the massive wooden door.
"Come in" The familiar voice of the old orphanage's director was heard. L opened the door, let himself in and carefully closed it again. He looked at the old man that sat behind his big desk. L always thought it was strange to see Wammy like this. Outside this room L had all the power, everything to say and decide. And Wammy, or better, Watari would always obey him without any question. But in this room, in the Wammy's House director's office, Wammy was the one with power, the one with the last word and L was the orphan, the student, the submissive one. "Ryuzaki, please take a seat." The old man politely gestured to the chair in front of the desk. L obeyed and sat with his knees to his chest. "I must congratulate you on your birthday. You are officially adult now. How does that feel?"
"It doesn't feel different than other days." The old man smiled at the answer. A typical thing for this boy, actually man, to say.
"Do you wish to tell me something, Ryuzaki?" L looked at him with big eyes, nibbled his thumb a bit harder than usual, stared at his toes for a few seconds and then looked at the old man again.
"Now that I've become an adult, I decided to work independently." There was a long pause. L stared again to his toes. Wammy's expression was unchanged.
"You wish to work alone? Is that a wise thing to do?"
"I already found somebody that will co-work with me." Again there was a pause. L did not dare to take his eyes away from his toes.
"Is this person going to undertake Watari's tasks?"
"Yes." The pause was longer this time.
"And do you trust this person?"
"I trust him with my life." L heard Wammy give a soft sigh. He heard him lifting up and walking towards the window behind the desk.
"I see you learned nothing during your years of training." L lifted his head confused.
"I disagree. I have proved more than once to be perfectly capable of doing my work independently of the circumstances I might find myself in"
"No Ryuzaki. That's not what I meant. You learned nothing about trust." Again L stared confused at Wammy.
"Trust? With all respect Mr. Wammy, learn to not trust anybody is more what you taught me during these years."
"Precisely. And what has happened now?" He turned around to face the young man. L noticed that Wammy did not look so impassive anymore. He could swear he saw tension in his face muscles. "You trust somebody with your life."
"Yes. This person has continually demonstrated himself to be fully reliable. His deduction capacities are exceptional as well as his trustworthiness and ability at keeping important secrets to himself."
"Is this person by any chance Light Yagami?"
"Yes." L saw the man turn around again, facing the window, his back to the orphan.
"You have known this man for about two years now. Tell me, what is it that makes you trust him so much?"
"We kind of bonded."
"Bonded?" L's eyes widened as the old man's voice grew louder. Wammy turned around to face the young detective. He looked angry. "Bonded, did you? You sicken me." L looked shocked.
"We became friends and…" But Wammy cut L's words.
"Stop lying! How dare you continue lying to me! All these years I invested in you. My time, my energy, my money! I invested them in you because I know that you have all the required aptitudes to become a great detective, maybe the greatest that history will ever know. I protected you and fulfilled any request you had. And now you just throw everything away because you have feelings for somebody." L looked petrified. He had never seen Wammy loose his cool. He had never ever seen him lose his temper. Even when circumstances demanded it. "Bonded, you say. I created the world's greatest detective to lose him to some handsome Japanese that you fell for." L couldn't think of anything to say to defend himself. Wammy had seen through him. He had been so careful to keep his relationship with Light secret, but somehow the old man knew of it the whole time. "I'm very disappointed with you." L's eyes widened. Those words somehow hurt him. He felt a sting in his chest, a pain spread to his stomach, his head felt dizzy. His whole body suffered under the pain of those words. L had always been the object of Wammy's pride. How could he be disappointed with him now? There was a long pause. L's hands were shaking and he grasped them around his legs. He felt a turmoil of emotions going through his body. Pain, desolation, rejection, anger. How dared Wammy say those harsh words. Slowly L lifted his head and looked straight into Wammy's eyes. This time it was the old man that shivered.
"You have no right to speak this way to me. As long as I can remember I did everything you wanted me to do. I followed all your instructions, all your rules, all your training. I sacrificed my childhood to the study of logic, psychology and criminology. You deliberately separated me from the other kids. Yes, you created me. To be your robot detective. But I am a person! I have my own identity and the right to decide to do what I wish with my life!" L paused to catch some air. He forced himself to calm down. "My decision is made. I will move to Light's apartment and work with him as L. Light will work along with me and take the role of Watari when it's needed." Wammy looked angry.
"It's a shame you are willing to give up your body, life and work to one man." L felt a horrible anger grow inside of him.
"It's a shame you don't understand nor approve my decision." L felt this anger burn inside of him. The silence that followed was unbearable.
"What about the boys?" Wammy broke the silence.
"I would like to continue training them." Wammy nodded affirmatively. At least there was still one thing they agreed.
"Very well. You will train the boys anywhere you think it's suitable and whenever you wish. Make sure you contact Roger at least one hour ahead. Since you have decided to break free from Wammy's House, you are to leave this building immediately. Take everything you need with you. You are forbidden to enter the orphanage from the moment you step out of it. There is no need for you to come back and pollute this place with your queer tendencies. Am I clear?" L was speechless. He nervously nodded in agreement. "Good. Now, please leave."
L lifted up and reached to the door. He looked one last time at Wammy. The only person that ever came close of being his father figure. The man who created L. The man that could not accept his choices. He left the room and closed the door behind him, silently. He struggled not to let the pain and anger he felt take control over him. He hurried to his room, but first grabbed a suitcase from the main cupboard. He rushed into his room, threw the suitcase open on his bed and furiously ripped the clothes out of the closet, placing them in the suitcase. Little did he know that Near was as usual playing in his room, hidden behind his bed. The little child had just witnessed L storming into his room. The sight of the suitcase was enough evidence for him to understand that the older boy was leaving. He left the room unnoticed. A short while after, L collapsed to his knees and started crying. He wanted to leave the orphanage, but not like this. He wanted Wammy to stop working with him, but he never wanted it to happen this way. It pained him that the old man could not understand him. That he was unable to accept that L had a mind of his own and a heart, just like anybody else. When he calmed down he looked for his cell phone in his pocket. His hands were shaking uncontrollably and made it difficult to dial the number. He felt some comfort when he heard Light's voice on the other end.
"Moshi moshi."
"Light, please come and get me from the orphanage as soon as possible." His voice was trembling, he found it difficult to breath, afraid to start crying again.
"Ok." Light's voice clearly displayed concern and confusion. "Are you ok?"
"No, I'm not. Just come and get me."
"Ok, I'll come right away." And the conversation was ended. Still sobbing a bit, L tidied up his clothes. He placed his laptop, cd-roms, files and all his books in the suitcase too. He was almost ready when Mello and Matt entered the room with Near right behind them. The little boy, sensing that L was leaving decided to get the other two boys to stop him.
"L you can't leave us!" Mello yelled. L turned around surprised to see those three. His heart broke when he realized that he wouldn't see these children every day, have them come in his room to give him company or distract him from his work. Mello and Matt were shocked to see the tears on L's face. They had never seen sorrow or any similar emotion in the older boy. As he realized the situation, Matt started weeping softly.
"Did Mr. Wammy send you away?" He gently asked. Mello stared mouth open from L to Matt and back to L.
"Yes. Mr. Wammy is angry because I am going to live and work with Light." Matt's weeping got worse. Mello stared at the boy confused and then he faced L again.
"Mr. Wammy cannot send you away! You live here." Mello stated with the hope that L could not leave.
"I became 18 today. Nothing obligates me to stay living here. I'm officially independent and capable of taking care of myself."
"What about us?" Mello asked half panicked. Matt was still crying.
"I'm still responsible for your training. You will be picked up from the orphanage and study with me when required."
"And when you are abroad?" The blond boy continued.
"It will be the same situation as when he lived here." This time Near answered for L. Mello looked upset and with disgust to the little boy. He had forgotten that he was still there.
"Near is right. When I'm away you'll receive my instructions from Roger and when I'll return you'll come to my place and continue the training with me and Light personally."
"So Mr. Wammy is…"
"He no longer works with L." Near said. "Light is Watari now".
The moments that followed were painful. Roger, who meanwhile had been informed by Wammy about the situation, came to say that Light was outside. L picked up his suitcase and looked around one last time, making sure he had forgotten nothing. The two boys started screaming in tears, grasping onto his clothes while he simply walked, ignoring their pleas with great difficulty. He wished he could take them with him. He wished he didn't have to separate from these children, the orphanage, and his home in this way. In his mind he cursed Wammy. Once he sat in the car with Light he wept silently. Cutting bonds was hard. As they drove away, L left his past behind and his new life was about to begin.
A/N
I have my doubts about the father-son bond between L and Watari. It's not that I don't like Watari (I actually like stories about Watari/L with the father/son relationship). In How to Read (vol. 13) Obta says that Watari's passing time was creating detectives. I thought it was really weird. And he also claims that Roger doesn't like children. So I sort of came to the conclusion that Wammy's House was more like a factory of detectives than a place to accommodate orphan children. On the other side going from Watari's age, complexion, the orphanage's crosses and church (episode 25, anime) I came to the conclusion that Watari is the traditional Christian with a very conservative look about life. Therefore he would not accept the fact that L had an affair with a man. He might also be overprotected about L, since the detective was still acting childish till his 25th , suggesting he never had the opportunity to grow up like other children. Anyway, I just speculate stuff.
