Hah

Even now, I still laugh at this chapter's title.

XXXXXX

Naruto walked towards the memorial, holding an unopened pack of ramen as a gift for the dead. It was silly, but he knew from his dad's notes that he lived for ramen. Plus, Naruto couldn't even think of a better gift for his deceased father. He made his way through the training area.

He changed his look a little. He also wore a bandanna around his hair. People gave him odd looks from his hair color. That was bad. The Hokage told him to blend in. He was head strong on following his advice. He recalled his meeting Jiraiya. Things then could have gotten ugly real fast.

Naruto kneeled at the KIA stone. He touched his father's name. 'Namikaze Minato' carved into the hunk of obsidian. The ramen slipped from his hand.

"It's too bad you're not here huh? I never did what kids usually do. I never played catch, or slid down a big yellow slide. But I don't blame you for it. You said yourself, 'It was plan Z, and the other twenty-five didn't work…'" Naruto spoke to the wind. He herd a faint clinking noise. He looked at the bracelet Jiraiya gave him; the little piece of metal was shaking rapidly. …Someone was watching him.

Hatake Kakashi was squatted in a branch, witnessing the display. He was watching aphetically until he quoted sensei. When Minato said that, Kakashi was positive he was the only one present. He was not a familiar face, but Kakashi knew he had ties to the Yondaime Hokage. The question was, how? He leaped down to confront him.

Naruto looked up at his visitor. He had silver gravity defying hair, a headband that covered his left eye, a mask like he wore under his bandanna, and a standard Jounin uniform. From textbooks he read and pictures he saw, he looked exactly like the fabled 'White Fang of Kohona'.

He got up from his squat, "Do you need something?" He asked politely. Good first impressions were a must after all.

His only visible eye was narrowed in suspicion. "Who are you?"

"Take a guess, the list is pretty small. If you pick at random you're probably close," Naruto responded, reaching in his back pouch. He pulled out the eighth edition to Icha Icha Paradise. 'Fuck first impressions…'

"I have a guess, but there's no way that could be right," Kakashi stated.

He disappeared in a flash. A yellow flash. From behind him, he herd a voice, "See for yourself…"

The silver haired jounin turned his head slowly. There he stood masks and bandannas off and his goggles rose. He had his book in his left hand, his right lifting up his shirt, revealing a swirling seal, ever present on his navel. But the seal had changed drastically. There was a large vertical gash in it, like a black scar that did not heal properly. The seal its self glowed a fiery blue, much like chakra. His appearance answered questions and raised more.

Naruto answered the question before he could ask, "He's out of his cage." Kakashi's eyes widened. Naruto raised his left sleeve. On his forearm was an 'IX' tattoo, much like the one Kyuubi had. "I just recently added this. It lets me keep a leash on him and monitor how much power he has."

"Well, what's he doing now? I have yet to see any fox run around Kohona since the attack." Kakashi asked, still hungry for information.

"You have herd of the AMBU's FOX Unit, correct?" Naruto asked. Kakashi nodded. Naruto cleared his throat and continued, "Kyuubi himself leads that, with three of his friends."

"Amazing… You mean in a span of one year, Kyuubi did over one hundred S-Class missions?" Kakashi questioned bewildered. The average AMBU member only did six before he/she went insane or died on the field.

"Yep…" Naruto deadpanned, flipping a page in his smut.

"…Can I borrow that?" Kakashi asked. He dug in his pouch and revealed his own book, "I only have up to seven…"

"That all depends, why do you read these?" Naruto questioned, his piercing, blue, demonic eyes peering over the top of the book. None shall make hand-party on his literature.

"For the drama of course!" Kakashi responded, hugging his book and petting it softly.

Naruto closed the book and tossed it his way. He caught it and pocketed the erotic novel. "Your name is Hatake Kakashi correct? Kakashi of the Sharigan, Copy-cat Ninja of the Ten Thousand Jutsu?"

Kakashi sighed, "Yes…"

"Your nicknames suck ass!" Naruto deadpanned, not really caring what he thought.

"Hey I didn't choose it. Someone once called me 'The Mirror Ninja Hatake Kakashi', I thought that was cooler. But alas… One can't choose their aliases, that would be retarded," He explained. He then raised an eyebrow, sending a questioning look, "Why do you want to know?"

"My father, who you probably already guessed, said you could help me with ninjutsu. And he also told me to teach you his legendary technique…"

XXXXXX

Naruto pushed chakra into the paper, if first crumbled, then split in half, and finally it got soaked with unseen water.

"Okay, you specialize in lightning, wind, and water jutsus," Kakashi explained, "That gives us a lot to work with."

XXXXX

Naruto was sitting crossed legged, floating over a lake, deep in mediation. Geysers of water shot all around him, and stayed constant, always flushing liquid in the air. Naruto then floated to the top, wind whistling through the hole in the water. A cloud of foggy mist blanketed the water's surface. With a tremor and deep boom, lighting circled the rising water. There was also a multicolored glow, visible beneath his clothes.

Naruto created a dazzling display of the elements for anyone watching. Over the year, thanks to his clones and his attitude for being stubborn and head strong, he nearly mastered his techniques. He could control the weather, fly using a tool he developed, create floods and torrents of water, and bend lightning to his will.

He had a major advantage over anybody, and power at his disposal, but power comes with a price.

XXXXXX

Naruto checked his appearance in the mirror. He was skin clad, only in boxers. Intricate seals covered his skin. They stretched everywhere throughout his entire body. His face had lines coming from his neck to his eyes, much like Jiraiya. His right arm was covered in lightning blots, stretching to each of his fingers. His left had waves of every shape and size, swirls, droplets of water, and tide spraying across his wrist. His legs were painted with swaying trees, flying sakura blossoms, and tornados ripping tiles off houses. There was also a small lightning blot, a single droplet of water, and swirling leafs, in a glyph of his back. His body was head to toe inked it varying diagrams, shapes, swirls of all kinds.

After Jiraiya departed, he started a project and worked on it from time to time. Gai's training slowed down his progress in his seals, but with Kakashi's arrival, he restarted it. The seals originally gave control to each element. From that, there would be no weakness on the battlefield. The strain for that to happen was too great, even for Naruto's demon altered physique. Five elements was instant death, and the chances for living gradually increased for each one less.

Unlike the Kyuubi's releasing, these were here to stay. They lucky only appeared when he used, or molded chakra.

His body was a walking piece of art, or a disgusting freak show. Opinions are not easily swayed.

But whenever he let Kyuubi's presence overtake him, he turned into a rampaging beast, hell-bent on sloughing, killing, and destroying everything in sight. Granted, he could still use the fox's chakra, but only as a slight power up in jutsus and techniques. And instead of the original chakra replenish rate of twice the normal speed, the demonic chakra took six times the average rate to fill.

He lost his ability to turn demon, to turn temporally invisible. He had to depend on strategy and his wits in battle now.

XXXXX

Naruto stopped his mediation, and descended slowly to the water's surface. Naruto ran at a good pace and grabbed something on his back, throwing it on the water. It expanded and started gliding across the surface. He hopped on it, leaned forward, and pushed chakra to the board. Water exploded behind him as he shot across the water's surface. He stomped his front foot down, crashing into the lake and sending him flying through the air in front flips.

Naruto balanced out in midair after a few seconds. He blinked out the water in his eyes. Naruto shook his head, his wet sideburns whipping his face. After his hair was relatively dry, he pushed even more chakra to his board, increasing his altitude.

He looked down at his almost magical device. An orange six foot by ten inch board met his eyes. The back end was black, and tribal tattoos stretched into the board, almost as to reach the other side. Seals covered the opposite side, allowing the conversion of chakra into emitting strong air currents. It took two months out of his spare time, and his ramen budget to make it. To Naruto, it was more that worth it.

"Well, better see Kakashi… Or rather 'Kohona's Ghost Wolf'," He spoke to no one, smiling at his companions newest given nickname. Naruto turned the mournful pussy into a warrior. Punching someone in the face was an unorthodox way to get a point across…

But Naruto had a strange way of doing things…

XXXXX

Naruto checked his watch. It flashed 14:07. 'The bastard should have been here at ELEVEN IN THE FUCKING MORNING!' The blond thought, blood vessel visible on his forehead. 'Respecting the dead is great and all… But if he's stuck in the past he might as well kill himself to join his fallen friends.'

Naruto went to the KIA Memorial stone. Guess who was there?

Naruto slowly walked up to Kakashi, pushing chakra into his fist. "Hey Kockashi!" He called. He turned to see who needed him, a little peeved at the nickname. Using the speed and strength Gai taught him, he slammed his fist into the scarecrow's face. He flew back and his back crashed violently into a tree, splitting the wood from the trunk.

"Sorry tree, I need to teach a friend a lesson!" Naruto apologized to the poor defenseless tree. Any onlooker watching the scene would believe the blond shinobi to be insane. Not everyday someone said sorry to a tree.

Kakashi peeled himself of the ground, Naruto helped him up by grabbing his collar and holding him eye level. "You think you're honoring the dead by wasting your life saying what you should of done!? If Obito really did sacrifice his life for yours, then don't make his death vain!"

"Your father killed himself. His death note said, 'live in my honor; use my blade to carve your own path'. What did you do? You put it in a mantle behind glass! You and I both know you only joined AMBU hoping you die to join their names on the stone!" He yelled. Naruto punched Kakashi in the face once more, sending him skidding across the ground.

Kakashi landed on his back, groaning from the beating. He flipped to his stomach and peered opened his eye. There was Naruto, holding out his hand to help him up. He grasped it firmly and got to his feet. Naruto now spoke softly, "You're still alive, make the best of it."

XXXXX

Naruto knew it was Sunday; the day Kakashi reserved honoring the dead. He no longer did it on a daily basis. Naruto slowly descended, causing the trees to bend and leaves to swirl from the wind. Naruto hopped off the board, causing it to shrink into a one foot by ten inch rectangle. He put into a pouch on his back and waved hello to his best friend.

Kakashi now wore dark blue samurai-like armor over a white battle kimono. Three sheathed swords adorned his right side, held by a black obi. One was a basic ninjato, a longer and thicker than normal katana, and his father's sword. White tabi and wooden sandals covered his feet. A snarling wolf mask covered his masked face. It was snow white. The left eye was blood-red of the sharingan, as the right was the dark blue. His white clothing was not the ordinary apparel. Whenever he was in the shade, it turned into the exact shade of darkness he was in, almost chameleon like. When the shadows concealed him, people only saw floating armor and a mask, thus his given nickname. His bad ass exterior was sometimes thrown off by him pulling out his smut every now and then.

…Naruto still has yet to get that book back.

"Hey Kakashi! You wanna go prank the village Monday? It's been awhile since we cut loose," Naruto suggested.

Both of his eyes curled into his signature upside down 'U', "Sure! Maybe later we can soak Anko's panties in rotten meat!"

Naruto laughed at the suggested prank. It was true they were powerful, but they were better known as 'Kohona's Yancha Dyuo'. They never did get caught, but they were the only ones that haven't filed out a complaint to the Hokage. He didn't mind the extra paperwork at all. He was to busy reading Jiraiya's books to care as his clones did the work.

Kakashi reopened his eyes, looking at Naruto's new appearance. He still wore the orange cloak, but that was it. He in place for a shirt wore bandages that covered half his abs. His Genshuku Fuu was for all to see, spinning rapidly. He pitched his bandannas, and always had his goggles on his forehead. He still wore his mask; he honestly couldn't leave home without it. Naruto said fuck it before, plus, people were bound to find out sooner or later. He kept his black pants and tabi, but now were black gauntlets that had strange metallic grip on the palms. Naruto also took up kenjustu. He had a tanto at each bicep, a katana at his back, and a wakizashi and his waist going horizontally across his back. Kakashi also noticed the lack of a Ninja headband.

He twitched. Kakashi knew he was lazy, but his friend was just pushing it. He could have been at the top of the ranks, even before they met. He had indescribable speed, The Hiriashin only adding to it. Naruto never had a problem with combat, thanks to Gai's tutelage. Chakra oozed from every pore in his body. He needed to be a shinobi, pronto.

His became half-lidded, blankly staring at the orange-clad man, "You need to become a ninja. I doubt you have a valid reason why you're not.

"Ehh… You think I should sign up as a shinobi yet? I like my free ramen, and if I join Oyaji's forces he'll make me pay…" Naruto grimly stated. Kakashi sweatdropped. Okay, time to barter.

"Yeah, but you'll rake in money like nothing else. He'll make you Tokubetsu Jounin for sure if you don't choose to go to AMBU." Kakashi stated.

"Fine, I'll join. But I'm sure as hell going out with a bang!" Naruto added.

XXXXX

Deidara sneezed. He wiped the snot from his upper lip as he flung it off his hand. "Some fucker is talking about again…"

XXXXX

"Please tell me what you are planning later. I wish to know what devious deed you come up with," Kakashi pondered aloud, his mismatched eyes peering through the holes in his mask. He could now use his eye 24/7 without suffering any consequences. All thanks to Kyuubi's tampering.

XXXXXX

Kakashi eyed the fox cautiously. "Oh relax, he won't hurt you." Naruto comforted Kakashi.

Kyuubi twitched, 'Who says I will not hurt him! …He somehow smells familiar. Where the hell have I smelled dog before?'

"Sorry, you must remember I the first time I saw him, it wasn't under friendly circumstances," He recalled, laxing his guard.

Kyuubi eyed Kakashi's face curiously, "You, ningen… why do you hide one of your eyes?"

He raised the headband, revealing the slowly spinning sharigan eye. "Ahh, like Madara's… Hmm, it seems your body is rejecting the eye."

"How do you know this?" Kakashi asked.

"For one, it is an organ transplant. And second, I created the bloodline. Every bloodline in existence started from some demon one way or another. Would you like me to alter you anatomy to adjust to your eye?" Kyuubi offered.

"Just as long as you do nothing else…"

"Consider it a penitence for my deeds of the past." One of Kyuubi's tails fished through Kakashi's pouch.

"Bite this…" One of Kyuubi's tails held a kunai. Kakashi bit the handle through his mask. With a chakra filled claw, he stabbed the Jounin straight through his crimson eye. Kakashi knees gave out from the blinding pain. As soon as it happened it was over. The kunai clinked on the ground as Kakashi looked around.

There was no resistance in his transplanted eye. "What did you do to me?" he asked.

"You know a sharigan eye records everything it sees, correct?" The demon questioned. Kakashi nodded. "Uchiha's always keep their eyes on, recording things like how many times a humming bird flaps its wings in two seconds, the trajectory of a fly vomiting, useless things as such. That will cause the brain to overload, making the user insane. The Uchiha's brain is slightly more complex than the average for their handicap, but that's not enough. I made your eye only record things that could be useful, and made your brain automatically store it as soon as you see it. There is no drawback or anything such as that. You can turn you eye off if you wish, but it is now pointless for you to do so."

"Th…Thank you Kyuubi. I am forever indebted to you," Kakashi thanked the fox with a deep bow.

Kyuubi smirked, "It seems there are some respectful humans in this world…"

Naruto twitched, "Well, look who attacked the village! You never told me why you did it."

"That's another story for another time kit." Kyuubi said as he turned tail (or tails) and walked gracefully away.

XXXXXX

"Alright… Time to see Oyaji!" Naruto beamed, fist shot in the air as his cloak fluttered in the wind, sunset behind him.

Kakashi sweatdropped. Yep, Gai trained him.

XXXXXX

A shady, hooded figure walked through an adumbral alleyway. There were multiple fox heads painted on the walls. The person stopped at a pair of cellar doors before black cloth covered hands opened them. The soft sound of feet descending a stairwell echoed through the empty, well lit hallway. The black robed being made its way to a heavy metal door. There was a fox insignia in a crimson outline, right above a metal slide to see through when moved. The small panel on the door slid open and revealed two stern, narrowed, veteran eyes.

In a deep, intimidating voice, he said, "The shop's closed, what do you want?"

The stranger quaked in their boots. That voice enough was enough to drive any brave soul away, the eyes only adding to the intimidation factor. An audible swallow was herd from the person behind the door. "I-I would like to ask of a favor…"

The panel slammed shut, startling the guest. The clinking of chains and locks echoed through the hall. The door screeched open, revealing the gate keeper: Morino Ibiki. He gestured to the far end of the shop, "Talk to Naniki at the counter." The person walked in as Ibiki shut the heavy metal door, relocking it and all. The unknown figure pulled down his hood, squinting at the light. The hood divulged a man with a pineapple like topknot, tanned skin, and a horizontal scar across his nose.

He looked at the shop, amazed at what met his eyes. The walls were a bright ivory, and the tiles a reflective obsidian. There were multiple shelves and bins, all fashioned from a dull ebony. Weapons of a high caliber were littered through the walls. They were all a shiny metal, sharpened razor, and looked ready to use at a moments notice. At the west wall in large print read, "ARMOR ROOM". He began to walk through on of the long, wide aisle ways, taking note to come during shop hours. He saw that when the aisles ended, rows of glass cases began. Stores always held the best of the best items in there, impressive by their other stock.

He approached a desk dyed crimson, outline of a fox head burned into it. He noticed the tip jar, packed with ryou notes of all kind. He looked at the person and instantly found out why. Attending the desk was a buxom blond, her hair in long, streaming pigtails. She had deep, cerulean eyes that reflected everything they captured and whiskered cheeks. She wore a uniform that was far too small, further accentuating her already bulging chest. The man cleared his throat, trying to not blush from the blond beauty.

"Hello!" Her melodic voice was almost harmonic, the man letting out a sigh in pleasure, "Welcome to Kitsune-Ryouken Weapons and Armor Emporium! How may I help you today mister…" She leaned forward, inquiring that he told her his name.

"Umino, Umino Iruka," He replied, giving a small bow.

"Okay then Iruka-kun, how are you in need of our services today?" She asked, head slightly tilted, getting a high number on the cuteness scale.

Iruka visibly blushed and looked down. No one called him that since before the Kyuubi attack… He shook his head, burying his past. He locked eyes with the gorgeous woman, "I need a week off from work, but the school won't let me have a vacation unless I pay for it myself. So I need something to prevent the students and staff from being at school. Tell me what you'll be able to do."

She leaned on the desk with her elbows, her bust pushing against the wood. She put one hand at her chin in a thinking position. After twenty seconds or so, she snapped her fingers. "Okay, we can have an Early Monsoon Season, an Epidemic, Hell in a Hand Basket, or maybe a Bonfire… Which one would you prefer?" Naniki asked.

Iruka stared in confusion. Those terms were all but familiar with him.

She sighed. Naniki moved her face near Iruka's. She cupped her hand in order to whisper something, "You never were on a Black Ops, ANBU, a Seek and Destroy or a Destruction Team, were you?"

Iruka tried not to shudder as her hot breath tickled his ear. He shook his head.

"Good!" She replied going back to her original position, "The death tools are too high for someone as cute as you to be on!"

Iruka looked away in an attempt to hide his furious blush. He never got that many compliments as a schoolteacher, so this was new to him. He wasn't 'In the loop' like many of his friends were. Once he collected his composure, he looked back at her, stuttering a thank you.

"Okay, to define to operations I just said… An early Monsoon Season is a flood in an area you choose, an Epidemic is a disease or sickness that runs through a number of selected people, Hell in a Hand Basket is just pure chaos, and a Bonfire is obviously a fire, but of any building or establishment of your choosing," She defined the procedures as she numbered them on her fingers.

"Can I get an Early Monsoon Season at the Academy, and an Epidemic of the flu on the staff? Also, could I get a vaccine that would leave me sick, but for only a day or so? I want to look like an innocent," Iruka asked, feeling no remorse for what he was doing. Hey, he was a good guy, but he needed a break. Plus, the other teachers are trained shinobi, so they should be able to eat up the virus with their chakra.

"Mmmkay…" She mumbled as she scrawled something illegible on a piece of paper. She ripped it from the notepad and gave it to Iruka, "Okay Iruka-kun, go through the door behind me and see Shikaku. He'll handle all of your finances."

He nodded as he progressed through the door.

XXXXXX

"Sign here, initial here, surname here, mother's maiden name here, age here, sign here once more, birthday here, height here, doctor's name here, and sign here once again," Sarutobi instructed, pointing to blank spots on the page. Naruto did what he requested in whichever spots.

"Okay, I think that's everything… Now we have to gauge your power in a fight." Sarutobi concluded, holding his chin with his kneaded hands.

"Who am I fighting?" Naruto asked, blue slit eyes filled with excitement.

"My son, Sarutobi Asuma." He answered, shuffling though papers, "Report to my training grounds at noon. Expect a crowd."

Naruto smiled under his mask. The match would be postponed…

XXXXXX

Kakashi sat on a rooftop at sunset, enjoying his book as nature took its course. A funnel of wind rose from the ground. It abruptly stopped as Naruto stood in its place, cloak fluttering rapidly.

Kakashi sweatdropped, something he has been doing more and more lately. He snapped his book shot as he moved his mask to the left side of his face, "So? What is it?"

Naruto held up four vials full of unidentifiable liquids. Two had black bands and the others white. He chuckled, "I'm keeping the cat in the bag for now."

Kakashi and Naruto disappeared to their head quarters with a Shinshun. It was ten meters below ground near the KIA Memorial stone. It was just like a large mansion almost. If of course you leave out the four feet of lead atop the ceiling. It allowed then to do what they pleased without anyone detecting their chakra.

The first room was gigantic. The ceiling was sixteen feet stall, far higher than the norm. It had a large rectangular wooden table with multiple chairs at it. There were bulletin boards everywhere on the walls with suggestions for miscellaneous ideas for pranks or whatever else needed done. There was a scroll with some names above it, perched below an outline of a crimson lined fox head. Above the logo was the print against the grey walls, Torikkusuta Renchuu. There were double doors at the western wall that led to a hallway. Multiple doors covered the length of the dim lit hall. At the end the long path was a lift that led to the surface in a secret spot.

Yep, they started their own business. It was more of an odd job kind of thing though. Someone would come in through the shop at the surface and fill out a form and give the money to person working at the back desk. It was usually one of Naruto's Kitsueki Bunshin working the register. They had to hire fewer employees that way. Unlike Kage Bunshins, they required a small amount of blood, required ten fold the amount of chakra, and actually became human in a sense.

Kakashi and Naruto got on the lift, throwing a switch up at the automated panel. It silently rose at a brisk pace. It slowly stopped when the destination was reached. The duo left the machinery and arrived at the surface. The entrance to the main base of operations was cleverly disguised as a weapons shop. They were currently near the back desk, Shikaku grumbling as he was working with some guy with a hairstyle much like his own. They went trough a door marked 'Service Entrance' that had the company logo on it, a bell ringing as the door opened. They went through a couple more doors and found their Briefing Room. It had dank white walls, six red folding chairs, and a dry erase board with a many different colors of markers to use.

Kakashi seated himself in one of the cheap chairs, "So… What's the plan? I expect something great if it's one of your last free agent hijinks."

Naruto bit the tip of the black marker, ripping it free of its cap. He let it fall into his other hand. He smiled mischievously, "Great? No no no… Kohona will remember this until time ends!"

XXXXXX

Naruto was in the Cinema Room, sitting in a cozy recliner with a soda and buttered popcorn. He pulled down his mask as he tossed some popped corn crenels into his mouth. He looked next to him. There sat Kakashi munching some Buncha' Crunch. Those little bastards were good…

The Cinema Room was their favorite and most expensive room in their hideout. It had multiple armchairs, arranged like an average theater. Instead of one big screen, there were two hundred plus seven by ten foot screens. They also curved so that if you looked up, left, or right, there was a screen from any seat in the room. They could also stretch one image across multiple ones, to get a better look at something.

Kakashi flashed him a toothless smile, giving him a thumbs up as well. Naruto returned the gesture. He looked away from Kakashi's revealed face and stared back at the dozens and dozens of screens that surrounded them. He didn't care, he's seen it before. He knew why he wore it too. The same reason he himself did…

He liked messing with people. Plus, they need something to keep the women away… Though it didn't work as planned. The only thing that kept women away from Kakashi was his choice of reading.

Someone entered and closed the door behind him. Naruto leaned to see who it was. It was an Aburame for sure. He wore black baggy cargo pants than covered most of his leather combat boots. He had a dark olive hooded coat that ran mid thigh with sleeves that ran just as long. A black bandanna was covering his lower face, and perched on his nose were dark blue, very reflective sunglasses. He was holding a keg of beer and a tankard. He spoke in his solemn voice, "Did I miss anything?"

Kakashi eyed what he was carrying, "Did you bring any for me?" He smiled his signature smile. Shinji just stared. He slammed the beer on one of the many chairs and fed his glass beer from the nozzle. He sat on Naruto's nine o' clock.

Naruto twitched, "Gee Shinji, thanks for sharing!"

Shinji sipped his frosty beverage, "You didn't ask for me to bring you any."

"Oh! It's starting!" Naruto exclaimed as some stray popcorn hit the soft plush carpet. They leaned forward in their seats to see if their ingenious plan had worked. It was still in the experimental phases, but they had what they needed at hand. Kohona's Yancha Dyuo made no second thought in using what they had in a large supply. Shinji was still wondering what he delivered to the masses.

Popcorn, soda, and they crunchy chocolate hit the ground as the owners of the snacks stared blankly at the screens. The chairs feel back due to the occupants' massive twin jet nosebleeds, causing a domino effect to the chairs behind them. The stream was THAT powerful.

Shinji's eyebrows rose. "Heey-oooo…" He smiled as the blood trickled down his nose.

…That worked a little to well.

XXXXXX

"Okay, you know what Testosterone, Estrogen, Pheromones, and Oxytocin are, right?"Naruto asked, letting the four vials of liquid dangle from the mouths by the spaces in-between his fingers.

Kakashi nodded.

"Well, I took these from our stock. We seem to have these at a large supply, and I found an ingenious way to use them. If we use these," He held up the black banded ones, "On all the men in the village, and these," He this time held up the white, "On all the women…" An evil glint appeared in his eye as the area around him dimmed.

"…Kohona's citizens and shinobi will be involuntary forced into one, massive, ORGY!!" He cackled darkly as he announced his plan.

The lighting returned quickly and the glint vanished, "But I have no idea how to distribute it among the village…" He stated as he sheepishly rubbed his neck.

The masked nin held his chin in thought. He snapped his fingers, "The Aburame we hired recently! Shinji I think his name was… He's mass breeding small bugs that hold massive amounts of liquids while retaining their centimeter size!"

"Brilliant! When he will be on duty?" Naruto asked, antsy from their new discovery (Forgive the pun, I couldn't resist…).

Kakashi summoned the staff chart through a seal, "he should be signing in in about two minutes…" He said as he checked the clipboard and his watch.

Ring-a-ling! The bell rang over the staff entrance. Aburame Shinji walked in his clan's calm demeanor past the door way. He stopped midstride and looked inside the Briefing Room. He saw that Naruto and Kakashi were watching him.

"What's with the look?" he asked.

"Your latest project could aid us in a devious deed… kukukuku…" Naruto cackled.

"What do you need?" He asked, eying then suspiciously.

"We need you to diverse some chemicals to the female and male populace of Kohonagakure using your latest creation…" Kakashi explained.

"My Rakuda Hae? …I'm guessing this won't end pretty," he concluded. If his Camel Flies were needed, then this was bad. Who was he kidding? They were Kohona's Yancha Dyuo! Of course it wouldn't be pretty! "What are you asking I distribute to Kohona?" He asked hungry for information.

"You'll see soon enough…" Naruto left Shinji nibbling for more.

XXXXXX

Shinji stared at the screens, enjoying the moment before he passed out from blood loss. He felt happy inside. He caused this. He single handedly drove Kohona's population horny as a jackrabbit!

Women were naked, looking for some man to stuff their meet inside them. Hell, some just found another female and dove straight into a 69, prying their tongues into each other's clit. Men of all ages above sixteen were looking for a hole, any hole, to stick their erect penis into. For some reason, the kids weren't responding to it. It was better that way on a moral standpoint. Shinobi sensed the disturbance in their system and fed their chakra to eat the invading chemical. They were successful then, until they got jumped by hot and flustered women.

Girl x Girl

Man x Girl x Girl

Man x Girl x Man

Pairs like those and many others littered the streets, fucking each other's brains out due to Shinji's bugs. There was multiple Man x Man, but Shinji made sure to look away. He didn't play for that team. While he was reaching for his beer, his elbow bumped a button on the universal remote marked 'Mute'. The audio was no longer silenced. Moans and grunts of all kinds ejected from the speakers. Shinji then joined his comrades on the ground, blood staining his clothes.

…Up on a roof top, Jiraiya was writing furiously onto his notepad, nosebleed present. He was glad he stopped in stopped into town…

XXXXXX

Sarutobi calmly walked the streets of Kohona, nonchalantly stepping over orgies and nude bodies. He walked into a desolate, very nice weapons shop. It would be a legitimate shop, but the cashier…

He walked up to the register and the hot blonde attendant said, "Hiya Hokage-sama! Welcome to the Kitsune-Ryouken Weapons and Armor Emporium! How ma-"

"Cut the crap. Where's Naruto?" The Hokage questioned. All business this visit it seemed.

She sighed, "Through the service entrance, down the lift, sixteenth door on your left, and down the spiral staircase at the second door to your left." She pointed to a door his right. There was a distinctive outline of a fox head on the door.

Sarutobi's eyes widened. That was one hell of a set of directions. Sarutobi followed the directions the 'Sexified Naruto' gave him. He got pissed once he lost count of the doors. It seems NONE of them were labeled except the restrooms. Sarutobi got lost over fifteen times looking for the accursed door. He finally found it after an hour of his diligent search. He opened the door to meet a Naruto, Kakashi, and Shinji trying to watch the tapes again.

"Hah, three minutes! New record! If we keep doing this, then we'll be in the hospital in no time!" Naruto exclaimed, front of his body covered in dried and fresh blood.

"Greetings Hokage-sama," Shinji bowed as he greeted their new guest, "Is there something that troubles you?" His formal visage was cut short by the blood coating him.

"Oyaji! Did you get some?" Naruto chucked, foxy grin plastered on his face.

He sighed, 'Some things tend to stick I suppose…' "Yes, Shinji, there is something that troubles me. And no, I did not 'get any' Naruto. I felt something invading me, so I made my chakra eat it up…" He rubbed his temples, "Why? Why do you do this to me? Why must you cause more problems in my life?" He checked his surroundings, noticing nice AMBU line monitors and technology, nice chairs, soft plush carpet, and dim lighting reflecting from the burgundy walls. "And how did you get these nice digs any how?" He asked, curious of how he could have gotten such an income.

"Kyuubi doesn't need 'Human Currency'." Naruto responded using air quotes.

"So you started a business?" He questioned as he saw someone walk by with a stack of papers through the doorway.

"Yeah, we're pretty busy, and we have some people on duty. We put up some ads in the business column of Kohona's newspapers and got people doing desk jobs as well." He finished, picking popcorn out of his teeth

"On duty? What do you do anyway?" Sarutobi continued his lax interrogation.

"Follow me…" Naruto easily went through the complex corridors and walked past the main hallway's double doors. He led him to the scroll, hanging below the fox head logo. There were multiple names present.

-Founders-

Kohona's Yancha Dyuo & Maito Gai

-Members-

Maito Gai
Nara Shikaku
Yamanaka Inochi
Akimichi Chouza
Jiraiya
Yamato
Hayate Gekko
Kamizuki Izumo
Hagane Kotetsu
Morino Ibiki
Aburame Shinji

"Ibiki joined??" Sarutobi asked in disbelief.

"Yep. We need people from all backgrounds of ninja. He filled one of the spots we were looking for. For some reason, he insists on working the door. I don't like it, he scares customers away," Naruto replied aphetically. "We run like an oddjob kind of thing. Post ANY job and we'll do it. If the price is right of course..."

"Is that so? Hmm…" Sarutobi thought tom himself. He snapped his fingers as he had an idea that would get him out of this dilemma, "Would you like to be Hokage for a day?" He demanded more than asked.

"I don't see that happening yet. Only four people have seen my face, let alone know my name. I'm even kept secret from AMBU, do you think that's a good idea?" Naruto weaseled out of the demand successfully.

"Damn. Well, if someone could fill the position it'd be you. See you tomorrow at the fields. It had to be postponed to due our circumstances," The Sandaime explained.

Naruto shrugged.

XXXXXX

Asuma stood on one of the training field his dad owned, smoking his second cigarette of the day. A blush met his face as he recalled the events of not to long ago. He looked left, bleachers with a crowd. He looked right, same thing. He checked his watch, 11:57 blinked back. He decided to try to listen in to the conversations at the bleachers.

"So Kakashi, -cough- …Who is Asuma fighting?" Gekko asked, coughing into his fist.

"A close friend of mine…" He responded, eyes in their signature position.

"You're avoiding the question…" Kurenai stated.

"Well, if I told you, I'd be breaking an S-Class secret…" He deadpanned. He had their attention now. The whole bleacher was silent, waiting for an explanation. He flipped out his smut.

The spectators face faulted.

55…

56…

57…

58…

59…

12:00 Asuma's watch beeped.

A blot of lightning shot from the cloudless sky. There Naruto stood holding his sheathed katana, wind making a display of his rust orange cloak. Kakashi sweatdropped, as some kunoichi squealed and blushed at his presence. The Hokage then appeared between them in a swirl of leaves.

"Now that the contestants are here, we will start the match. Are you ready?" He announced, they both nodded his way, "Okay then… HAJIME!" He ran holding his triangular hat.

Asuma drew his trench knives. Naruto unsheathed his katana. A clinking noise caught his ear. His bracelet was shaking less than Kakashi's, but still at a sporadic rate. Naruto dug into his pouch, and pulled out a kunai.

"At the fall…" He tossed it. The blade flipping slowly in the air. As soon as it hit the ground, they were at battle. The clang of blades was the only thing distinguishable of a fight. They appeared every now and again, only to vanish and continue their battle of steel and will. They met at the center and pushed off each other's blades, landing in their original spots. They were covered with various cuts and scratches across their bodies, Naruto was in worse shape though. He found out why when he looked at his knives.

Asuma chuckled as Naruto barely made out the faint outline of chakra surrounding his blades with his demon enhanced eyes. Asuma chuckled, discarding his diced cancer stick, "It seems you are an opponent not to be toyed with…" He increased the amount of energy to his blades.

"Nor you, Asuma-san…" Naruto said, as he too activated his blade. Electric sparks of various blues flashed across his blade, until it became a full stream of lightning. The tattoos of his chest were for all to see now glowing a soft yellow. He disappeared in a yellow flash. Asuma's jaw dropped. Flashes surrounded him, and an army of Kage Bunshins surrounded him, swords crackling.

"Surrender. Either you pride is wounded or you body is cauterized into pieces," Naruto threatened.

Asuma dropped his knives, "I can live with my pride wounded…"

All the kage bunshins disappeared as he sheathed his blade.

The Hokage Shunshined in a swirl of leaves in the middle of the battle field. "Does anyone else wish to challenge him?" He asked.

A woman jumped into the battle field. "I do! That guy is a probably a pussy without his weapons!" A scantly clad woman shouted, getting into a fighting position. She wore boots with shin guards attached them, a red miniskirt, and a fishnet body suit with only an open trench coat to hide her hourglass figure and well devolved chest. He had distinctive purple hair, dull chestnut eyes, and her lips were curved into a smirk.

Naruto's eyes widened at the sight of the purple haired beauty. 'Hot damn…' Naruto swallowed the lump in his throat and fought down his blush. The battlefield was not a good place to meet people."Okay, it shouldn't be too hard to take down a prostitute!" He taunted. He checked his bracelet; it was shaking like an epileptic staring at a strobe light. This was going to be fun.

"You'll pay for that you fucker!" she growled. Sarutobi noticed things were getting heated between the two. He broke for the bleachers, not even bothering to start the match.

She rushed Naruto who disappeared in a yellow flash. He appeared behind her holding up a single ryo note. "Where should I put this?" He taunted once more. The spectators erupted in a laugh as the 'prostitute' turned tomato red. A faint 'Heeey-oooo' could be herd.

"Seneijashu!" She cried as snakes flew out of her coat. Naruto twisted around them and charged with a black steel covered fist. She blocked it as Naruto sent a flurry of punches.

"Heh, it's going to take more than that to take me down," She said as she continued to block.

"How about fifty bucks?" He asked as he gave Kakashi's signature upside 'U' eyes, still punching not missing a beat.

She growled and kicked him in the stomach, sending him back. Naruto flipped and pushed off the ground with his hands. "Fine then, no more joking around…" 'She caught me with a simple kick! I need to see Gai again…'

He began to make do handseals. After fourteen, he raised his arms in an X toward the sky. Lightning from the heavens cloaked him in a dazzling light. He remained in that position with his arms now engulfed with white lightning. His whole body was flickering with an electrical current. The tattoos on his chest radiated a bright gold.

"Raikiri Shinsei!" He shouted as he charged. Sparks flickered where his feet once were. She waited until he was an inch away to kawarimi with a log nearby, making his attack useless. As soon as his arms struck the log, it exploded, sending splinters everywhere.

He checked his six, and there she was doing hand seals. She inhaled deep as she yelled, "Dokugiri!" spiting poisonous gas everywhere.

Naruto held his breath and did handseals of his own, his electrical hands not affecting him at all. "Kamaitachi no Jutsu!" He cried, causing slicing winds to push back the smog and damage her as well. He released his Raikiri Shinsei, knowing it was just eating up his chakra at an alarming rate.

She held her arms in front of her to take the brunt of the attack. Her hand reached into her back pouch as she flung shuriken charging in a dead sprint.

Naruto simply stood there, not a care in the world. Once the stars were in a meter distance, he cried, "Toku Kamikaze!" White, glowing, angelic winds surrounded him, protecting him from the kunoichi's oncoming projectiles. The winds faded away into nothing after the shuriken were negated.

She smiled. He was still open form close quarters. Her feet pushed off the ground into a flying kick into Naruto. He grabbed her foot and spun her in midair, until he forcefully sent his shin to her face, causing her to skid across the ground.

She wiped the blood from her nose and peeled herself off the ground. There he was, standing on all fours, arms in a 'X' with the tantos at his biceps in each hand. They were both a hardened steel and were bladed on one side. His left was serrated, and his right was a little longer and razor sharp. It looks as though he was serious now.

She Shunshined behind him and sent a heel drop of his lower back. He rolled to the side and stabbed his blades in the ground. Her kick smashed against the ground, causing the earth to crack. He lunged forward, intending on cutting off her leg. She back flipped away, looking carefully at his movements. 'I see, he uses his knives to make up for fists in close combat. I was right when I said he was a pussy without his weapons!' Naruto jumped away and regained his stance.

She landed and dusted off her skirt. She pulled out two kunai and motioned for him to come. One moment he was there, the other he was flanking the purple haired woman, his blades arching to slice her. They moved at inhumane speeds, each ones strike meeting another's. She was looking for any opening she could to disarm him. He lunged with a stab and she swung down with a kunai, causing the serrated tanto to bury its self hilt deep in the dirt.

Naruto went to grab it, but his attempt was futile as she attacked with even more vigor than before. He Hiraishined away to his original spot in his four point stance. She looked his way. Naruto stood on two legs and raised his hands, palms near his shoulders. They were enwrapped in a visible red chakra as six inch claws shoot from his fingers. He smirked as he vanished once more. Five claws shot from her heart, blood spewing everywhere. Her body glowed from her wounds and the openings in her face. Naruto realized the technique as he tried to pull his claws away. She was holding onto him! She chuckled as she exploded in a small mushroom cloud.

Naruto flew from the smoke and rolled across the ground. He coughed as he got to his feet. His coat was on fire, his mask was burned off, and his skin was charred. He turned around as she came up from the ground.

"Katon: Karyu Endan!" She shouted as a white flaming dragon was rapidly going Naruto's way.

'Damn it! She's good…' He thought as he flew through handseals at an inhumane rate. "Suiton: Bakusui Shoha!" Naruto roared as water shot out of his mouth, drenching the land and dousing the technique.

'Now, that the table has shook, let's watch the house of cards crumble…' Naruto smirked. He rolled his shoulders out off his flaming cloak.

He flipped back and pulled out his Airboard and took to the skies. The clear blue was quickly replaced by swarming black clouds.

"Chicken shit! Fight like a man!" She yelled the clouded heavens. As soon as she said that black lightning shot down in front of her, making a shower of molten sparks and stunning everything that was drenched by the water.

'Tricky little bastard! If I stay on the ground I'll be fried in no time!' She growled as she panted from the after effect of the discolored lightning. Black static coursed through her muscles and led to her brain. She winced from the panging migraine, 'Another one of those and I'll be getting boned by the devil…'

She got to her feet and looked up. The rumbling clouds lit up in a black flash and rumbled. She leapt back and flipped in mid air. One of Naruto's clones shot out of the ground and threw a wind chakra laced Fuusha Shuriken her way. Her body twisted and swiveled to avoid it, but a quarter inch thick wound decorated her side.

'THE LITTLE FUCKER! I can't see the shuriken's reach! How many tricks does he have up his sleeve??'

The snake user was forced to leap and run about, lightning barely singeing her every time and clones always close to dealing a fatal wound.

'How do I stop this without summoning Manda?' She thought, dodging yet another blot of jet lightning, swerving over a wicked shuriken.

Suddenly the clouds parted as the onslaught stopped. "Out of chakra already?" She shouted. Her eyes flared open as hands wrapped around her ankles. Before she knew it, her eyes were staring at the back tabi of her opponent.

Four Kage Bunshins appeared in a yellow flash, each with a crackling katana at a different point of her neck. The original made seals and slammed them into the ground crying, "Doton: Yomi Numa!" The ground her head was stuck in was quickly descending into a sinkhole.

She stared blankly at nothing, and then sighed, "Fine, I surrender, happy? Just get me outta this shithole!" He dispelled the jutsu as he pulled her out of the dirt. "Nice strategy, it takes a lot to get me caught. The name is Mitarashi Anko, Y-" She paused as she got another look at him. All of his burns were healed, showing his bare arms and torso. His canies were poking from his smirk. His whiskers, eyes, and fur like hair gave him a wild aura that slightly roused her. The black clouds slightly parted, bathing him in sunlight.

He just held up a finger, signaling 'Wait a second'. 'Wow… I didn't realize what a total knock out he was.' Anko fought a blush as she eyes his figure.

"Winner! Namikaze Naruto! The newest Tokobetsu Jounin in Kohona's forces!" Sarutobi shouted, smile present on his face. A clone crawled out of the ground and threw Naruto his Fuusha Shuriken. He caught it effortlessly. With a casual flick of the wrist, three blades twirled around the center ring and hid behind the fourth.

"Does that answer your question?" He asked coyly. Anko was drooling slightly, as the spectators' eyes were wide with disbelief. That was excluding the Hokage's, Kakashi's, and some random jounin's. That random jounin walked forward. Naruto got a better look at his apparel.

He had long red hair that reached the small of his back. Black rings were around his eyes, which were covered by circular sunglasses, and led to his inner ears. Whisker like markings covered his cheeks in sets of threes. A Kohona headband was tied around his forehead. He wore a spiked collar and a bandanna around his neck. A red shirt, and a black trench coat with its sleeves ripped off covered his chest. He wore black pants, and kept his feet bear.

He slightly titled his head down. His red slit eyes peering above the rim of his glasses. A feral smirk was placed on his lips. This random jounin could be identified now easy by the blond nin.

"Hey Kyuubi! You came!" Naruto greeted his demonic acquaintance. He focused in his mind trying to contact Kyuubi mentally, 'What's with the look? It's not like you to be in… Skin.'

"How could I have missed a showdown of my past vessel?" He asked, using the overly polite tone of his. 'Could you imagine the havoc my presence would unleash?' The demon replied telepathically to his cage of past. Anko shook her head, getting her attention away from Naruto's figure. She started at the new guest.

"Awww, where's Yumi and company?" He wondered, looking for three other foxes. 'Good point… But it would be funny to watch.'

"Yumi is getting groomed. I never see Baku anymore; he is always with the human named, 'Shikamaru'. They have become close in the two years we have been here. And of course, Fudo hides from you ever since he lost that bet with you." Kyuubi explained, checking the sharpness of his claws on his front left hand. 'Yes, you ningens are so fun to watch.'

"Who the hell are you? I haven't seen you around town before," Anko snarled, taking a forward and holding her fist in a threatening manner. Kyuubi looked her way and turned away immediately, disgusted look upon his face.

Her scent was applauding. It was absolutely horrible! And the stench originated from her… Her…

He signaled Naruto to come closer, he did so. Kyuubi whispered in his ear, "Why does her vaginal area reek of rotting meat?"

Naruto fell to the ground, laughing holding his sides. After three minutes or so, he sat up and breathed deep from lack of air. He wiped the tears from his eyes. "Kakashi!" he yelled, giving his partner in crime a thumbs up. Kakashi gave his signature eyes and returned the gesture. This of course confused everyone around them.

Naruto looked to Anko, who wearily watching the stranger. Like trying to say, 'Try something, I DARE you'. "Oh relax Anko. He's an old friend of mine. We're practically flesh and blood." He reassured her. It was half true…

"I would not touch her even if you said I could…" Kyuubi stated, hands making their home in his pockets.

"That's cold man…" he deadpanned. He looked to where Anko should have been, no one was there. His eyes scouted the area until he found her holding on of Kyuubi's hands. Her finger barely touched the claw and bled. Kyuubi stared at nothing with half lidded eyes, blatantly not paying attention. His eyes flared open as a kunai flew across his cheek, making a centimeter deep slash on his face. Anko was behind him, licking the wound of blood. His face showed panic and arousal, all at the same time. Naruto took a picture.

"Mmm, you taste good," Anko cooed seductively into his ear. Kyuubi shivered. Naruto took another picture. Blackmail was good.

"Well Kyuubi, I gotta go. You can be Anko's bitch as long as you want though!" He laughed as lightning struck him in the head, leaving nothing but a shower of sparks in its wake.

Kyuubi twitched.

"As much as I love your company Anko-san, I have yet another ningen to slaughter!" He barked, sinking away from her grasp. He suddenly became completely engulfed in flames as a fissure appeared in the ground. It opened and Kyuubi fell through. It was over as soon as it started. Expect Kohona's Number One Surprising Knucklehead Ninja and The Demon King of Hell to have flashy exits.

xXxOMAKE!xXx

"Ibiki joined??" Sarutobi asked in disbelief.

"Yep. We need people from all backgrounds of ninja. He filled one of the spots we were looking for," Naruto replied aphetically. "We run like an oddjob kind of thing. Post ANY job and we'll do it. If the price is right of course..."

Suddenly, Kakashi whipped out a remote control and pressed the only button on it. The room transformed into a game show-like setting. The walls turned and the floors lowered, revealing a screaming, excited studio audience of Naruto's Kage Bunshins'. A giant wheel rolled in by two Narutos in an Orioke no jutsu with red velvet dresses on.

Naruto walked in stage with a microphone in a black suit, "Hello every body welcome to…"

"THE PRICE IS RIGHT!!" The audience shouted.

"Yes! Today, we have the Sandaime Hokage, Sarutobi Sasuke!" Naruto announced, arm arched toward his guest. Sarutobi gave a little wave. Naruto continued, "Could I have some members of the audience come on down?"

They all started waving around and screaming their heads off. Naruto picked three at random and they came down.

"YES! I'm so excited!" One Kage Bunshin cheered jumping up and down.

"Take us to the guessing thingy!" The other exclaimed, jittering like an ADHD kid that drank a twelve pack of mountain dew. The last was trying not to pass out. Naruto lead them and Sarutobi to little booths that ranged in color.

"Okay! If you can correctly guess the price of this item, you move onto the neeext round! Show them what it is girls!" He shouted in a corny host voice. The two 'girls' pushed the curtain away to reveal what was in side.

Kakashi's voice came over the loud speakers, "Well Naruto, it's a complete Platinum Collectors edition and compete set of Icha Icha Paradise! These contain notes from the author, even more descriptive scenes, and detailed pictures drawn by the best artists in the Shinobi Nations!" Hot damn… that was some prize.

"Can you guess the price correctly?" Naruto asked pointing in the general direction of the selected clones.

"One hundred thousand!" one shouted

"Three hundred and fifty thousand!" Another shouted.

"Two hundred thousand! The last clone exclaimed.

"Uhh… Two hundred thousand and one?" Sarutobi asked, unsure of himself.

"It iiiiissssssss…" Naruto looked at the card, "Two hundred and sixty thousand!"

The clone glared at Sarutobi menacingly, "Go fuck yourself."

xXxOMAKE!xXx

"Hey Kyuubi! You came!" Naruto greeted his demonic acquaintance. He focused in his mind trying to contact Kyuubi mentally, 'What's with the look? It's not like you to be in… Skin.'

"How could I have missed a showdown of my past vessel?" He asked, using the overly polite tone of his. 'Could you imagine the havoc my presence would unleash?' The demon replied telepathically to his cage of past. Anko shook her head, getting her attention away from Naruto's figure. She started at the new guest.

"Awww, where's Yumi and company?" He wondered, looking for three other foxes. 'Good point… But it would be funny to watch.'

"Yumi is getting groomed. I never see Baku anymore; he is always with the human named, 'Shikamaru'. They have become close in the two years we have been here. And of course, Fudo hides from you ever since he lost that bet with you." Kyuubi explained, checking the sharpness of his claws on his front left hand. 'Yes, you ningens are so fun to watch.'

Naruto smirked, 'If you like watching people, then I've got a place for you…'

XXxOmake not overxXX

"You see? There's a reason why there are random chairs in this store," Naruto explained, popcorn on hand.

"This is very entertaining…" Kyuubi drawled, still in human form. He stole some of Naruto's popcorn when he wasn't looking.

"Oh! Another one's coming!" He shouted, some stray popcorn falling onto the floor.

A family walked by. The older male, was about thirty nine, no hygiene, very few teeth, disfigured face, blue ragged jeans, and a plaid vest that didn't hide his beer belly, nor chest hair. Beside his was a mutant of a woman. She had buck-teeth, matty, unkempt red hair, way too much make-up, making her resemble a clown, a hump in her back, an ugly purple dress, and outrageous high heels.

"Hey Chuck, was it Bobby or Jill that needed dose pants?" The redhead asked.

"Hell if I know! We got nine of dose little shits at the trailor! I couldn't keep up two of dem!" He replied, scratching his belly.

"Well shoot! Should we get som' more beer for yer dad den? He's startin' to whiiine at his chair on the porch!" She shouted, trying to read the list he scrawled out.

"Damn it Phyllis! Let's just buy somin'! It is grocery day after all," He implied, walking with a little waddle. They continued to argue as the two stood shell-shocked.

"Damn, you know Kami has a sense of humor when you see that," Naruto chuckled.

"I. Love. Wal-mart…" Kyuubi announced.

XXXXXX

Yeah, I changed some stuff…

I changed the meeting with Anko and Kyuubi for a lot of reasons. That would unleash hell for everyone looking. Naruto would be swamped with questions. People would instantly find out who he was. I don't feel like typing up those scenes.

Have you ever watched people at Wal-mart? DO IT! It's amazing what you see there!

Plus, it makes more sense later if it's like this now.