The Great Exchange

Chapter Four: Nice Skirt, Uchiha


"Sasuke-kun, wake up! We're leaving today!"

I groaned in my sleep, annoyed that I'd been woken up by the sound of that stalker's whiney voice and not something nice. Even my own alarm clock would have been preferable…

I pushed myself upright, yawning long and deep before rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. The sun filtered in once more from the hotel room's single window, making me mutter curses under my breath as the light hit me right in the pupils.

At least Karin had left, as I didn't hear any more calls to wake up or knocks on my door. I yawned again and really opened my eyes this time, scanning the empty hotel room before my gaze fell on the single mirror.

My jaw dropped when I saw pink hair and green eyes looking back at me.

"Wh-what?!" I blurted, hearing my own female voice when I looked down in shock and saw my own familiar body underneath Sasuke-kun's baggy clothing. What had happened?! Had I turned back into myself overnight?!

"Sasuke-kun, come on! We have to go now!" shouted Karin's voice again as a fist hammered on my door. My mouth opened, but I said nothing, as she'd recognize my voice sounded nothing like Sasuke-kun's if I spoke. Luckily, I heard footsteps leading away from my door, meaning she'd left to possibly go annoy the rest of the team into waking up.

I had to do something, I thought while quickly exiting the bed and standing nervously before the mirror. Yep, there was a teenage girl with pink hair wearing Sasuke-kun's clothes looking back at me. I didn't bother to wonder why the garments fitted so snugly to my figure, already too busy panicking about my predicament. What was I supposed to do? If I suddenly showed up looking like myself, the rest of the team might take me out and go off looking for the real Sasuke-kun, convinced that I was a decoy to keep them distracted while the real Uchiha was kidnapped or something. Oh, why had this happened now of all times?!

"Why?" I whined, smacking myself in the forehead. "Why now?!"

"Stop complaining. It's giving me a headache."

I froze at the sound of the voice I'd previously possessed, before I spun around in confusion to see…

"S-Sasuke-kun?!"

Even as I spoke, the room around us faded into a blurry haze as I stared outright. He stood before me in all his smexy glory, glaring at me with his arms crossed. I'd used to be afraid of his ever giving me that look, composed of annoyance and disdain. It didn't take a genius to tell he was upset with me.

But in a millisecond, the serious atmosphere shattered as I realized just what he was wearing.

"Pfffffft…Ahahahaha!" I couldn't hold back my laughter. I might have looked silly dressed in his clothes, but he looked nothing short of outrageous dressed in MINE. From my red headband nestled in his hair to my black boots hugging his calves, there was no way I could keep from bursting into hysterical cackles every time I looked at him in my red shirt and tight shorts.

"Shut up," he muttered angrily, uncrossing his arms to tug at my tan skirt as his face flushed red. "This is all your fault."

It took me another few minutes to stop giggling completely. I mean, come ON! Just imagine the Uchiha Prodigy dressed as a girl and you'll know how hard it is not to snicker, even if the items had conveniently resized to fit his muscular form…

"I'm s-sorry," I choked out, wiping tears of laughter from my eyes. "You just…you just…"

"For your information, you look just as idiotic," he snapped, unnerved by my giggling at him. "Tell me what you did."

I sobered up quickly. "I switched us," I answered honestly, looking him straight in the eye. "I'm sorry for the inconvenience."

He looked taken aback for a moment. "How did…? No, wait…I don't want to know."

"Tsunade-shishou," I told him. "It was quick…painless, too. All you did was faint."

"I woke up as you!" he snapped. "With the dobe staring at me like I'd just come back from the dead!"

Oh how right he was, and how he didn't know it. I thought of Naruto then, and decided his supposed expression had been appropriate. After all…being apart from someone so long is a little like losing them…

"He missed you," I answered plainly, my eyes downcast. "And…so did I."

He was quiet then, obviously not wanting to divulge his thoughts on the matter.

"I'm sorry it had to come to this," I admitted, my fingers fiddling absentmindedly with the coils of the purple rope around my waist. "But…we couldn't see any other way…And I promise I'll take good care of you. I mean, I've kept Karin at bay so far…"

There. He shivered. I was getting to him.

"She's so weird," I stated, one hand on my hip. "Stalker much? And the other two aren't much help. Juugo's nice and all, but the rest of them, ugh…"

He might not have meant to do it, but his head nodded slightly in reply.

"…So…I'm bringing you back," I murmured. "Even if we let you go in the village, the only way to switch back is to have us together, so I'd have to come home anyways to get my body back…But I promise I won't let anything happen to you."

He didn't answer, and I knew I'd probably had my quota of Sasuke Talk for the day. I was lucky he'd spoken to me at all, I supposed. Especially since I for once was in the upper-hand position in this situation. I guessed he didn't like being the victim all that much.

"I'm leaving now," I said to his back as he turned away from me. "Gotta get the team out of this hotel you stuck us in. Goodbye, Sasuke-kun."

I didn't get an answer as I approached the room door and pushed it open, allowing some sort of blazing light to spill into the room until everything disappeared under a cloud of white…


Birds chirped somewhere, the sound somewhat muffled. I frowned, rubbing at my eyes with my knuckles before forcing open one eye. My blurred vision saw the same empty hotel room as before, with that exact same angle of the window allowing sunlight to slap me in the face.

"Hunnh…" I groaned, sitting up and stretching, feeling my spine crack as it always did. There was a moment of panic when I blinked and saw ebony bangs hanging in front of my eyes, but that passed quickly once I remembered Tsunade and Naruto and Sasuke-kun…

The thought of him reminded me of everything that'd transpired up until now. I looked down and exhaled to see Sasuke-kun's porcelain-like skin instead of my own, the strangeness of it all hitting me a second time. Knowing I probably should have been up a while ago, I pushed back the white blankets around me, reluctant to give up their warmth.

Fortunately, I didn't sense anything outside my locked door. Karin had been, as I predicted, prowling around while I was preparing for bed, but it seemed she'd left after I'd fallen asleep. Obviously bitter that I'd deprived her of the chance to see Sasuke-kun snuggled up in his blankets like a little baby. And it didn't hurt at all that his delicious body was currently clad in nothing but boxer shorts.

Oh, well. Her loss.


"You're disgusting, you know that?"

The team's resident stalker fangirl stuck her tongue out in response. "You're just jealous, Suigetsu."

The silver-haired man facepalmed. "You're calling me jealous? Because I don't have some chick I'm so infatuated with that I'd steal her clothes out of a laundry hamper?"

He was promptly ignored as the redhead went back to stroking her stolen article of the Uchiha's attire, a decidedly demented-looking grin stuck firmly to her face. Suigetsu wanted nothing more than to see just how she'd get punished once their team leader woke up and discovered his shirt had been swiped again. What was this world coming to, where not even the innocent act of washing one's laundry was sacred?

"You're not keeping it, are you?" he muttered, returning to his previous task of dutifully scrubbing the end of his oversized sword with a dishrag as the three of them waited patiently in the hotel's floor hallway for the appearance of the resident Uchiha. "Or is that what you want, because he'll have no choice but to go around shirtless?"

"Shut up," she answered, taking a deep inhale of the smell of the white cloth she'd pilfered. "I left the rest of his things, at least. Couldn't very well go in there and get them off of him by myself. Mmm, Sasuke-kun's such a man, only needing shorts to sleep in…"

Suigetsu rolled his eyes.

"…Karin-san should…give Sasuke-san his clothing back," Juugo spoke for the first time that morning, watching with a faintly nauseated expression as his teammate fingered their leader's missing garment. "Sasuke-san will be angry with us."

"Oh, shut up," she retorted angrily, "He won't."

Suigetsu smirked triumphantly as the door to their leader's room creaked open. But as soon as the subject of their conversation appeared, he had to slap a hand over his sharp-toothed mouth to stifle a chuckle.

Karin's face fell as her object of affection stepped through the doorway, her view of luscious muscles obscured by a dark gray bathrobe wrapped tightly around that figure she'd been longing to see unveiled.

Oh, this was gold.


"H-hey, S-Sas-s-uke," Suigetsu choked between un-manly giggles. I ignored him right now, focusing an irritated glare on our female member of the team.

How dare she?! The little cretin! Let me at her!

"Where is it?" I muttered in monotone, knowing full well she possessed what I was speaking of. Reluctantly, she got to her feet and trotted over, holding out Sasuke-kun's white shirt before I grabbed it from her and retreated back to my room, making sure to slam the door.

"See?" I heard from behind the wood. "Told ya."

"Shut up, Suigetsu!"

They're both complete idiots, my Inner remarked as I exchanged my bathrobe for Sasuke-kun's normal attire. Words cannot describe how ticked I was to find, after putting my cleaned stuff in a laundry basket only two short minutes ago, the little slug had stolen my shirt. How I wanted to punch something right now, and imagine it was her ugly head as it crumbled into dust. Maybe I'd do it later, under the pretext of training. Always a useful excuse for causing collateral damage.

Bed made, check. Cloak, check. Arm guards, check. Sword tucked into sash, check. Frowning face? Double-check. All righty Sakura, let's move out.

The rest of the team was sitting exactly where I'd left them when I pushed the door open for the second time. Karin and Suigetsu had shut up, and were glaring at each other as Juugo stared mindlessly at a bird outside one of the hallway windows. For some reason, I felt like a Jounin instructor as I looked at them, knowing I'd have to organize them as best I could, not unlike a team of unruly Genin. Was this how Kakashi-sensei had felt after meeting the future team seven for the first time?

"We're leaving," I stated simply, watching as the three of them scrambled to their feet. Wow, it felt good to be obeyed. No wonder Sasuke-kun was such a snip about being team leader.

The others were reasonably quiet as we descended the stairwell and exited the building, the receptionist giving me a last dreamy glance before giving us the standard wishing of a good journey. Then we were outside, and I was stuck. I had absolutely no idea where this town was. It could be anywhere from a few miles from the village to all the way across the continent.

"Whoo!" Suigetsu breathed behind me, "Goodbye, Karahara!"

Wait a minute…Karahara? I know this place!

Had nobody been liable to see it, I would've smiled. I remembered seeing this town on a map while on a mission with Naruto and Yamato and Sai…If memory served, we were only one or two hundred miles from Tanzaku, where Naruto and Jiraiya had first run into members of the Akatsuki…

Chyea! This'll be a breeze! All we gotta do is keep going southeast, and we'll be back in no time!

Suigetsu and Karin had, of course, been bickering while I had my little train of thought, but both followed along with Juugo when I started walking. All obviously assumed I knew where I was going and the thought to question it didn't even seem to cross their minds. They just followed like obedient little ducklings.

YES! This is almost too easy! Wait, no, don't wanna jinx myself…

Don't you worry, Naruto and Sasuke-kun.

I'm on my way home.


CRACK!

Yosh. Because it's a plausible explanation fueled by fanart on DA.

Hahahaha. -is shot-