missionary4
Disclaimer in Part 4.


THE MISSIONARY POSITION

Part 4

by Arianwen P.F. Everett



Jack stood at the pier, waiting for the Captain of the Beagle to arrive, his mind a million miles away. T.J. was going to give him HELL for this, when word got back to America! Well, at least he should have a few days before that missive came his way. He hated to think what that letter would read like.

"Jack, you idiot! Couldn't you have kept your britches ON for once in your life?! You have the common sense of a rutting beast! Why any woman would find you suitable to take to her bed is a question right up there with 'Is there a God?'! Fix this, anyway you have to, or I swear to that God, I'll send Kentucky Sue back to Pulau Pulau to shoot off the source of all your problems! *Squawk!* Jack, pay attention!"

"Gee, my mind is vivid, although, I don't remember T.J being into bird calls," Jack said to himself, trying to figure out what deep seeded psychological issues would cause him to imagine the President of the United States sounding like...

"Jean Claude, I didn't see you there. I was too busy thinking. Hey, what are you doing two weeks from today? Em and I were hoping you'd come to our wedding," Jack greeted the bird who was decked out in his usual outfit of a miniature French soldier's uniform.

"Jack, did you not hear? President Jefferson is excessively upset at your current turn of events!" Jean Claude reiterated, stamping his little parrot claws.

"I heard you, Buddy Bird, but I have bigger fish to fry here. I'm getting married! Married! Why me?!" Jack asked, looking imploringly at the wise carrier parrot.

"Jack, I know you're afraid of loosing your autonomy, but I can tell you, when I met my bride, any sacrifice became worth it; those shiny black eyes, the curve of her beak, her soft tail feathers," Jean Claude praised, readjusting his wings as he spoke.

"Yeah, but you're a parrot! You mate for life! It's not so easy in the world of the featherless, Pal! Hey, wait a minute! You got married? Why didn't you invite me and Em to the wedding? We would have brought a gift! I'm deeply hurt!" Jack whined, trying to contemplate why the parrot would have left him and his partner so out of the loop.

"My mate, Evette, her views on primates are a bit unforgiving, Monsieur. I did not wish for my little love to offend the people I have to work with," Jean Claude answered, turning his head slightly in embarrassment.

"Amazing! Simply astounding!" an accented voice stated in awe, as it's owner dashed over, and examined Jean Claude, completely intrigued.

"I beg your pardon, Monsieur!" Jean Claude rebuffed, flapping his wings in the face of the interloper.

"I'm sorry, Mister Parrot. The name's Darwin, Charles Darwin, Naturalist aboard the H.M.S. Beagle. I'm just astounded by your skill for conversation," the young Brit stated, his cheeks reddening in genuine
embarrassment.

This was not good. Jack needed information from this man, and he was too entranced with Jean Claude to give a straight answer. Reaching over, Jack snapped his fingers in front of Darwin's face, bring the man out of his observations.

"Listen, Darwin, I need to speak with your Captain; when's he due back, anyway?" Jack asked anxiously.

"Captain Fitzroy said he'd meet me back at the ship, but he never said when. I wish I could help you out more, Sir, but the Captain runs by his own schedule," Mr. Darwin apologized.

"Well, I can wait a few more minutes. So, what exactly does a naturalist do?" Jack had to asked, hoping to kill time and maybe make an alley. You could never have too many of those. Maybe the young man could put in a word to his Captain, for him and Em.

"I study flora and fauna; plants and animals to the lay person. That's why I was so interested in your parrot friend. I knew they were capable of mimicry, but your friend seems to understand exactly what he's saying! Fowl indigenous to this region are my primary area of study, and this parrot is a magnificent specimen indeed!" Darwin explained excitedly.

"The name is Jean Claude, and this 'specimen' insists that you speak with him, directly. Did your parents not teach you any manners, Monsieur?" Jean Claude squawked, now truly insulted. Specimen indeed!

"Oh! Oh Heavens, I am truly sorry, again! It's just that when you're a scientist like myself, and you're standing on a dock, conversing with somethi... someone who could well be the most intelligent being in the entire universe..." Darwin trailed off, floundering for words and hoping with every fiber in his being that the little parrot would choose to stay and continue their conversation. He had so many questions.

"I wouldn't go that far! Hey! J.C. get off me!" Jack shouted, chuckling till Jean Claude started pecking at the side of his head, and he had to shoo the parrot off of him. However, a plan to help a good person, not to mention, maybe get a bit of pay back as well, was budding in his brain. True, Em was going to be angry with him for spilling the beans, but he was sure she'd approve, once he heard what he'd come up with.

"So, is there a Mrs. Darwin, or a girl waiting back home?" Jack asked, and not seeing any wedding ring on the young man's finger, he was hopeful.

"Jack..." Jean Claude warned, realizing his primate colleague was up to something. As much as this young Englishman had made him uncomfortable. He didn't want him getting bowled over in one of Jack Stile's schemes.

"Later J.C. We're busy here," Jack stated, paying no attention to the bird who had spoken to him.

Sighing loudly, Jean Claude, flew onto Darwin's shoulder. "I wish you luck, Monsieur Darwin; you'll need it! And if you should require my assistance with anything, don't be afraid to call on me! Viva la resistance!" Jean Claude offered, giving Jack a stern look, before flying off.

"Great bird! He's married, you know? So, speaking of married..." Jack lead back to his previous question.

"No, I'm kinda shy around women. I'll probably just take the easy route and marry my second cousin, Ellen," Mr. Darwin said, fidgeting uneasily.

"Your cousin?! Brother, did I get here just in time! I know this girl; perfect for you! 18, very pretty, smart, sweet, and even shier than you, my friend! I tell you, if I wasn't madly in love and engaged myself, I'd be asking her out to dinner!" Jack affirmed, clasping the Naturalist around the shoulder, and leading him off the dock.

"But... but what about Captain Fitzroy?" Darwin asked anxiously, terribly confused.

"I'll speak with him later. Besides, I've already found the woman of my dreams; it's time we find you yours!" Jack insisted, in full yenta mode, as he steered them back towards Emilia's home. At least he'd have a human shield, should his fiancé be more upset with him than he'd assumed.


* * *


Margaret Bellsot finished washing the dishes, as her mother had instructed her to do, then grabbed her bible and an orange from the fruit bowl on the kitchen table, heading towards the door.

"Margaret, where are you so eager to run off to?" Mrs. Bellsot asked, her motherly instincts reacting to her daughter's body language, which just screamed 'sneaking'.

"I was just going to read to a widow I saw in the village this morning, Mother. She seems to be a lonely woman, and I thought she could use some companionship," Margaret answered, not exactly lying. She had seen a lonely Mrs. Rothschild in the village this morning, and they would read together, just about birds instead of the Lord, as she was leading her mother to believe.

"Oh, well then, by all means. Why not take another orange for this woman. Feeding the body is as much our duty as feeding the soul," Mrs. Bellsot reminded her daughter, before grabbing a small bag, and placing another orange in it. Perhaps she'd been too hasty in concluding Margaret was up to no good. While the girl was a bit preoccupied with her scientific studies, she had an infinite well of compassion that was distinctly God given.

"Thanks Mama!" Margaret said, smiling, before running out.

"Go with God!" Mrs. Bellsot called after her. The young sure were swift!

By the time Margaret reached Mrs. Rothschild home, she was slightly winded. Still, she felt great, free and adventurous! According to her mother, Mrs. Rothschild was a fallen woman, but Margaret wasn't so sure. She liked Mrs. Rothschild, and even if she had fallen, did not the bible teach us that the Lord rejoiced more for the return of one sinner into his grace, than a hundred consistently righteous individuals. Regardless, what could a friendly visit to borrow a book hurt?

Looking around her to make sure no one from the mission was watching, Margaret rang the doorbell. A minute later, the door opened, and suddenly she was being pulled inside by Mrs. Rothschild.

"What are you doing, Margaret? Your mother would have a fit if she found out you were here!" Emilia insisted. She didn't want this poor girl to be dragged into this mess.

"But, I was hoping to borrow that book you offered to lend me. I know my mother refused the other day, but I've read all the books I brought with me, and I'm fascinated by tropical birds. They really are amazing!" Margaret replied, her cheeks becoming pinker with each syllable.

"Yes, and I know how you feel, but Margaret, you could get into serious trouble, and I wouldn't want to cause trouble between you and your parents! Now, I'll lend you the book, but please, don't bring all this down upon yourself," Emilia pleaded, taking Margaret's hand.

"Alright. Thank you, Mrs. Rothschild," Margaret said, saddened knowing this woman's suffering was caused by her own mother.

"You're welcome. Now, you wait here a moment, and I'll go get that book," Emilia said, smiling reassuringly at Margaret.

Suddenly the door opened, and Jack strode in, followed my a reticent Mr. Darwin.

"Hey, Em. Look what I found at the docks!" Jack called out jovially.

"He looks a bit young to be a ship's captain. Are you, Sir?" Emilia asked suspiciously. Jack was in way too cocky a mood, which meant he was planning something she probably wouldn't agree with.

"No Ma'am, I'm a naturalist, aboard the H.M.S. Beagle. Mr. Stiles asked me here to..." Darwin explained, stopping quickly, when he realized what he was about to say. He had followed this man to this lady's home, in order to be introduced to a girl. God, how pathetic that sounded!

"I though we could introduce Mr. Darwin here to Margaret Bellsot. Trust me. The men in my family have great instincts about these things. They'd be perfect for each other! They're both shy. They're both new to the island. They both really like birds. I think it could work out!" Jack deducted cheerfully.

"Mr. Stiles, I think we need to speak privately, in the parlor! You'll excuse us for a moment, Margaret, Mr. Darwin," Emilia insisted, her eyes shooting warning daggers at her childish partner. When neither of her young guests responded, she looked up, and saw Jack Stiles grinning like an idiot, as Margaret Bellsot and Charles Darwin, stood entranced by each other, blushing and looking away, but ultimately both sets of eyes being drawn back to each other. While she knew she shouldn't be upset with her partner, her pride stepped in, and her fury rose higher. "Mr. Stiles! Parlor! Now!" Emilia demanded, storming off, and God help him if Jack didn't follow!

When they entered the parlor, Emilia pointed directly to the fireplace, and Jack followed her silent order, knowing it was useless to fight her until they were in the sound proof lab.

"Jack Stiles! What the hell were you thinking? Don't we have enough problems with the Bellsots, and now you're trying to set their daughter up with some guy you met on the docks! You were there to secure us a wedding, not play Cupid!" Emilia railed, her cheeks turning pink with anger.

"Em, did you know that that poor kid out there is so shy he was planning on marrying his second cousin! I had to help him!" Jack explained, trying his puppy dog expression. No woman could resist it.

"That is not the point! Who that young man marries is none of our business, and you know as well as I do, that your true motivations for bringing him here had nothing to do with altruism! You're looking for vengence against Margaret's Mother, and you planned on using both of those sensitive young people to do it! Shame on you Jack Stiles! Shame!" Emilia scolded.

"Alright, I admit I was hoping those two would hit it off, but I'd never try to force what wasn't meant to be for the sake of revenge! I thought you knew me better than that! And, even if my primary motives weren't exactly pure, even you can't deny that there's something there! Did you see the way those two were looking at each other?" Jack questioned, hoping Emilia would see the win/win nature of his plan.

"Yes I did, but that doesn't change the fact that these two could get hurt, if things don't work out, or even if they do and Mr. and Mrs. Bellsot disapprove of Mr. Darwin. He is young, and the life of a scientist doesn't often lead to riches," Emilia informed, not wanting to let Jack off the hook completely.

"Okay, I realize that, but a simple introduction couldn't do much harm, could it?" Jack asked, again applying the puppy dog eyes. This time, Jack could see his partner's face soften.

"No, but you're going back to the docks this afternoon," Emilia said, holding on to the last of her anger. She didn't know why, but Jack had taken her from perfect superiority in this argument, to becoming his halfhearted accomplice. She felt oddly dizzy.

"Agreed. Let's get back to our guests, else they might get hitched before we do. Ladies first!" Jack crooned mockingly, ushering his companion out.

Emilia gave him a sour look, before resigning herself to having lost this battle, and leading her obnoxious partner out.