Chapter 4

The thing about being a model was that you were often recognized, but especially recognized when you were with celebrities and the alike. Hana Sawada was almost never pictured with any, unless it was for purely professional reasons.

No after-parties for magazines, brands, or clothing lines. No parties just in general. No particular friends in the industry. Thus, rarely any paparazzi were interested when they could have been following more high-profile celebrities. And for that, it allowed Hana to focus on her studies while being on or off the job.

"Don't you ever feel lonely, Hana?" Hiro sat on her bed as usual, watching as she typed up a report of sorts. Hiro had homework too but he was in no rush to finish it.

"Not really," Hana answered. "I'm always busy."
"I worry about you. You've been so distant lately, even mother has been asking where you have been."

Hana turned back to her computer. She was in no mood to be talking about their mother, especially when she had to tackle her assignments. Hiro watched as his sister swiftly avoided the conversation as soon as he brought up their mother.

There was a knock on her door. Hiro called for the person to come in before Hana could even open her mouth. She gave a glare to her brother. A maid cautiously stepped in, apologising for intruding on the siblings and their discussion.

"Your mother wants me to remind you to get ready for the Suoh event tonight. You too, Hiro."

The siblings nodded and the maid left. Hana had been dreading this event for too long. But Hiro pulled something from behind.

"Also, I saw your shoot with Klein," Hiro flipped through the magazine to a picture of her kissing another male model for an ad campaign for the Hitachiins. "This is not what I want to see my little sister doing, kissing some… okay, very attractive guy who is probably older than you—"
"—Hiro. It was just part of the job."

Her brother scowled. "No. Unacceptable."
"I'm sixteen," Hana offered. "Old enough to be kissing boys."
"Nope."
"Don't be ridiculous."
"I won't have any of it." He crossed his arms.

Hana rolled her eyes which elicited Hiro to ruffle his sister's hair that was in a perfect braid. Hana was unamused by her brother's actions. Hiro proceeded to envelope his sister in his arms.

"You're my sister. Any guy who wants to be with you goes through me first."
"You can't even pack a punch," she pointed out. Good thing I can.
"I will be willing to smash my guitar when I use it as a weapon."
"Okay," she smiled.

Hiro pulled away to finally see a smile on his sister's face. That's what he missed. His number one fan wasn't allowed to be unhappy.


Side by side, the Sawada siblings looked very different besides their height and the same coloured eyes. Hiro had dark hair, mono lidded eyes with a chiseled nose and thick lips paired with a square jaw. Hana, whose hair was dyed an ashy brown, had large doe eyes, ones that foreigners were known to have. With thin lips and a v-shaped face, many people speculated plastic surgery.

But when compared to their childhood pictures, the two looked exactly the same as they did as children.

How could they possibly be related? Outsiders wondered.

Hana and Hiro did their duties, shaking hands, bowing their heads and making small talk whenever they were called upon in discussion with other affluent families.

"Hana," their mother called out for her daughter. "Come introduce yourself to Keito."

The girl stepped forward and plastered a smile on her face to the boy in front of her. She held out her hand and told him her name. He did the same, and shyly turned away with a blush on his face.

Keito's mother brushed off her son's shy behaviour. "He's star struck by your beauty, Hana. Being a model and all, of course."
Hana pretended to laugh, but watched Keito's eyes who looked past her. He was staring at Hiro. Hana stepped back and nudged Hiro instead, trying to do Keito a favour. But it was too late, Hana's mother had already moved somewhere else, and Keito had already turned around.

The girl was pulled aside by her mother.

"Keito is a nice looking boy, isn't he? Heir to an investment banking corporation, and he's only two years older."

Hana gently pried her mother's grip off her arm and said hello to the approaching family, swiftly ignoring her mother's hints to choose a bachelor to marry. Hiro followed in suit, introducing himself to the new boy. His hair was dyed a light brown, eyes losing focus on Hiro while he stared at Hana instead.

"My family owns a lot of real-estate. We have a villa in the mountains," the boy who introduced himself as Arashi boasted. Their mothers were off to the side, gossiping about who knows what.

Hana was going to reply with a snide comment, but Hiro stepped in between Arashi and Hana.

"As do we," Hiro politely answered.

"So, Hana," Arashi twisted his neck so he could catch a glimpse of her behind Hiro who was effectively third-wheeling their entire conversation. "You model, huh?"

Hana only nodded and apologised for cutting their time short since their mother had been gesturing them to move along. She latched herself onto Hiro's arm and exhaled.

"I wish you had your guitar here."
"Me too, Hana," Hiro grumbled. "But that Keito guy was cute."
"Because he was into you," the sister laughed for the first time in the evening.

Hana and Hiro found themselves trailing behind their mother during most events, while their father was off with other businessmen. As a result, it was a lot of hello and goodbyes, handshakes and smiling. All of course, with champagne travelling around and beautiful gowns.

"Oh thank goodness, look it's Tamaki. He's here to get us." Hiro breathed a sigh of relief.

While the Sawada matriarch was busy speaking to another woman, Hiro took this chance to let his mother know that he would be spending time with the Suohs, who were hosting the event. One could not deny the opportunity for their child to mingle with the Suohs, one of the most affluent families in the room.

Hana was swept away by her brother to another part of the building. They followed Tamaki down the halls, away from the crowds and the stifling atmosphere.

"Where are we going?" Hana wondered.

"To a dinner party, hosted by yours truly," Tamaki happily answered while he led them to a different room.


"Aye, have you all seen Hana Sawada's ad campaign for our line?" Hikaru waved the magazine in the air.

The Host Club was gathered by Tamaki for a dinner party. He figured it would have been appropriate, given that their families were all invited.

Honey perked up. "Hana-chan is in that magazine too?" Hiro always brought magazines of his sister, laying the around the Host Club room. Kyouya didn't seem to mind, seeing as it often caught the attention of female customers gushing over Hiro proudly showing off his sister. It brought profit.

Hikaru gave the magazine off to Honey who sat on a stool with Mori peering from behind. Honey absentmindedly flipped through the magazine, coming across photos of Hana in peacoat jackets for the winter, oversized sweaters paired with skirts and leggings. She modelled alongside a male model who had his hands on her waist, his gaze fixated on her while Hana looked straight into the camera with her lips half parted, her eyes narrowed. The next few pages had the two growing closer in proximity, until the male model's lips were on her neck and the next shot was his lips on top of hers.

Mori found himself feeling strangely uncomfortable while he stared through these photos.

"Gets pretty racy, huh?" Kaoru smirked.

It was at that moment where Hiro and his sister stepped through the door with Tamaki. Mori's eyes were still reading the article, an interview with the male model and his experience working with one of Japan's rising teen models. He captured words like lips, soft, and sweet over the shoulder of Honey, the last sentence with the phrase of extremely professional.

"Hey, no, no, no, is that the magazine where my precious sister is getting violated by that ridiculously attractive model?" Hiro was quick to snatch the magazine. He glared at the twins, knowing that they must have been the ones to bring this around.

Mori's attention was quickly diverted to the familiar face at the doorway, dressed in a cream coloured gown with flower details sewn on the skirt with beads. Hana turned around to reveal a long V dip until the small of her lower back. She closed the door and waited for her brother to calm down.

She was greeted by Kyouya who easily avoided the chaos between the Twins and her brother, with Tamaki somehow in the mix. Mori watched while the two converse for quite some time. Haruhi walked up to the guest and introduced herself as the newest member.

She's worth a merit if Kyouya has been conversing with her for so long. Mori thought. He suddenly found his cousin approaching the model, tugging on the hem of her gown to interrupt her discussion with Kyouya.

"Hana-chan, your pictures are so beautiful. Hiro always brings your magazines in."

Hana crouched down to Honey's height and spoke to him at an equal level. People didn't do that often. Usually, people would stand at ease, looking down at his cousin while they admired his adorable nature. But Hana never did that, she always crouched down and looked him in the eyes while Honey stood comfortably without having to crane his neck. He noticed his cousin smiling and laughing freely with the model who effortlessly continued the conversation.

Mori followed his cousin as usual, keeping a safe distance so as to not interrupt the two. Kyouya walked over to the quiet one, jotting something down on his tablet. His height gave him the luxury of being able to freely glance over the Ootori's shoulder in one swoop, noting another minus sign beside Hiro's name. Kyouya of course, was not the one to ignore Mori's gaze from behind.

"It costs to ask an Ootori for financial advice," Kyouya explained but said nothing further.

All of the Host Club and their honorary guest sat down for dinner, and Tamaki made a toast to friendship during the meal while Mori snuck glances at Hana who ate quietly and smiled. She excused herself after the dessert to use the restroom.

When Honey took a small nap to recover from eating too much dessert, the rest of the Host Club had decided to enjoy their company together. Hana still hadn't come back.

"She's probably on the phone sorting something out for her job," Hiro waved off.

Mori slipped away from the room without notice, and immediately he felt a cold breeze. Curious, he walked around the halls to find the source of the draft. The first thing he recognized was the V-lined dress, her bareback in the cold winter air while she casually leaned on the railings on the balcony. Luckily the dress had sleeves, but Mori could only imagine how cold it must have been for her.

He took his blazer off and approached her from behind, draping the jacket over her shoulders while keeping a good grip on her elbows. He felt her immediately tense up before relaxing to recognize who was behind her.

"You scared me," she murmured. "I was going to elbow you."

Mori saw that coming and smiled to himself. "Sorry."

"Thanks," Hana murmured. "I was… just getting some fresh air."

Mori made an affirming noise and leaned on the railing with her. He turned his back against the railing while she faced forward. It made it less obvious when he snuck glances at her. She was in a daze, her eyes narrowed while she contemplated thoughts that Mori wish he knew. There was something about her that made him feel comfortable.

"You too?"
"Yeah," he lied, looking away from her. Mori just wanted to see if she was alright. If she was lost, or caught in a situation. Or… he just wanted to see her again.

He always found her contemplating her thoughts. Hana always looked forlorn. Busy in her thoughts. Busy with life. Busy, with no break. The only time he had seen her take time away from her forlorn self was on the mat when they fought.

"You look beautiful," he whispered, just low enough for her to hear. Just enough to distract her from her thoughts for just a moment. Enough to place a small smile on her face. It just rolled off his tongue, effortlessly. He meant it in the most innocent sense, a sincere compliment.

"Thank you," Hana looked him in the eye when she thanked him. She reciprocated his sincerity. "And you look very handsome tonight."

He looked away, pretending to divert his gaze elsewhere.

"Thank you for keeping me company out in the cold," Hana added. He answered with a hm. "You didn't have to."

He shrugged. I wanted to.

"Have your bruises… healed?" Hana remembered their last encounter. It was weeks ago by now.
He nodded. "And yours?"
She nodded too.

The wind whistled in the background, as if coaxing them to make conversation.

"Your brother…"
"He's a handful," Hana laughed. "He's jealous that I got to kiss the model while he didn't, I'm sure."

Mori raised an eyebrow. Hana didn't bat an eye. It wasn't a secret. Hiro never hid it. It was just something people never brought up, or even noticed.

He watched as she looked below the balcony, easing back into her usual self. Forlorn. Questioning. Confused. Lost. It was all over her face. It was something no one else seemed to see. No one else that was allowed to see, perhaps. But even in her forlorn state, Mori could not help but to feel oddly elated by her presence.

Granted, they only saw each other occasionally. Perhaps every couple of months, under the right circumstances. They led lives that were complete opposites. How could their paths possibly cross? But it was that exact thought that made Mori wonder. How was he allowed to cross paths with her like this? It must have been a gift, some kind of entangled fate. Some stroke of luck. Anything.

"Do you run?"

Mori snapped out of his daze. "Now?"

Hana laughed. "Yes, in the cold with me in my gown and heels."

Mori smiled at his own silliness, embarrassed that he didn't logically think it through. He really should have been listening. The girl took her phone off the ledge and handed it to him. His hand lingered at her cold fingertips. He wondered if it had been the cold that made him pause. Either way, he didn't mind the lingering.

"I run when I'm not training with my grandfather. Maybe, instead of sparring, we could… take a run instead?" her tone hopeful. "I… I don't know when or if I even can but… I'd to like run with you. No sparring. Just a good run. You and I."

Mori took her phone and typed in his number without question. He dove into his pocket and handed her his own phone so she could do the same. Quickly, she typed in her number and they exchanged phones. Hana placed her phone on the ledge again, this time putting the phone on silent so that they wouldn't be interrupted. She was kept warm by his jacket that comfortably sat on her shoulders. The cold winter air was a refreshing change to the stuffy atmosphere indoors.

The boy glanced at his fingers. He wasn't sure if he was cold, or if it was from her touch. But his fingers tingled after separating his hands from hers. She was so cold and yet she chose to stay outdoors without complaint. Mori cleared his throat.

"You like running?"
"It clears my mind," she explained. "It… distracts me. How about you?"
Mori shrugged. It's alright, I guess.

He contemplated what to say. He wondered what she spoke to Kyouya about. Just as he was about to ask, she beat him to the finish line. He was thankful she was more of a natural conversationalist than he was. Everything fell into place with her. There was something very comforting about that.

"How are you?" Hana asked. "I probably should have begun with that, instead of trying to elbow you." She searched in his eyes for some kind of answer. She was still learning how to understand him. Mori could tell. The effort she made, the way she gazed at him with such concentration.

Mori only replied with good. Nothing more. Nothing less. A satisfactory answer for most people.

"Genuinely," she added. It wasn't quite as satisfactory as he hoped.

Mori shrugged. He didn't have much on his mind aside from Honey, kendo, and his studies. He lived simply.

"Your silence… sometimes worries me. I often wonder if I'm annoying you and you're just an incredibly polite person to stay without complaint. Either that, or you're just a very patient and kind person. The latter, is what I'd like to believe," Hana explained.

She didn't know that her presence was enough for him to feel like he was the one being given the favour. The favour of being the one to listen. The favour of being trusted. Mori was just unsure about how to express that. But he was not the one to complain about being seen as kind and patient.

"Are you alright?" Mori turned the conversation over.
"Fine," Hana lied.
"Genuinely," he added, mirroring the same line she used on him.

Hana chuckled to herself. She should've seen that coming. He waited for her to meet his eyes. Hana could tell he knew more than what he led on, he had a gut feeling that he relied on.

"I don't know," Hana murmured. "We all obey our parents, simply because we don't know what else to do. We do our duties, because we're taught that it is right. But I question… my duties."

She turned from the ledge and leaned on the balcony railing with her back, putting her in the same position as Mori side by side. Mori turned his head to wait for her to continue.

"Am I doing the right thing? Is my life just… pretty smiles and hand shaking? I am nothing but a pawn to join families together. But my brother is… well, he is everything. He'll be respected. He'll be useful. He gets autonomy. I get… well, what do I get?"

Mori hadn't realized that fact. She was destined to marry someone of the same social standing. Like that model she was photographed kissing. It felt like a punch in the gut. Suddenly, things were put into perspective. She was the mountain. He was the sea. They were on two different standings. And yet, the mountain moved to be by the sea. Mori gazed at her. She looked down on the ground.

"I get… to look pretty in front of a camera. And for a while, I thought I had a purpose. Maybe, a direction in life. But tonight, I realized I did not. Not at all. I have no control over what happens in the future."

Hana sighed and looked up from the ground. It was unfair for him to have to listen to all the swirling thoughts in her mind. She wished that he didn't have to burden him like this.

She put on a smile and took off his jacket and handed it to the boy who kept her company for the night. Her eyes were tired, exhausted from life. Still lost, wandering through the days that passed. He silently took the jacket from her, lingering at her cold fingertips again.

"I'll see you whenever, Morinozuka-san." She bowed and left Mori standing in the cold.

He watched as Hana composed herself again, her back straight and her powerful stride came to play. She put on the same shield and left with wounds still unhealed.

Oftentimes, Mori thought of her as a distant planet, or even the sun itself. A star. An object in the sky. Something that everyone could point out and could recognize. Everyone was fascinated by her. Captivated by her beauty. He only saw her from afar.

She was so distant. Perhaps that was why people were often so captivated by her. The mystery of what lies in the distance, fuelled by curiosity. But she was untouchable. She was too far away. But every once in a while, their orbits would align. Just enough so that Mori could see her closely, study her in ways others didn't.

And just like that, their orbits would continue while he waited patiently for the next time.


Hana boarded the plane to Seoul for another photoshoot. Travelling made her feel numb. The world seemed so monotonous to her as days moved forward. It was no ordinary life, travelling and modelling while studying. She had opportunities that people would die for. It was a cycle of guilt and confusion. Was she being a spoiled brat, ungrateful for the opportunities she had? Probably. Was she okay with that? No. And that was unsettling.

As she took her seat, she checked her phone for messages before turning it off for a long nap.

You'll find your purpose someday.

The text was sent in the early morning days ago, buried beneath phone calls and other text messages.

She mulled over the words, reading the message over and over again.

Someday.


A/N: A relatively short chapter this time around. I'm still churning out the pre-written chapters I had before, so I apologize for the lack of consistency in length (if that bothers any of you). I wanted to post this up now, in an attempt to update more frequently - anyway, I'd love to hear your thoughts. The pace is slow, and I too, am struggling (with both these characters). Like I said last chapter, I appreciate your patience and your time! More thoughts over on my tumblr, if you're so inclined to hear about the writing process.