It was a Wednesday when Rose decided it was time to approach Kanaya. Not, however, to flirt.
"This lady, Peixes- she's got the entire town under her thumb. I'm willing to bet that includes the flower shop kids. They'll know what the fuck the situation is, we have to talk to them."
After the incident with Her Imperial Condescension- as Ms. Peixes unironically had her underlings call her- the bickering between Rose and Dave had quickly been pushed aside.
Rose blinked at her phone for a couple seconds, still lamenting the sizeable chunk of profit that they'd lost in the "deal."
Dave was right- Kanaya and Karkat would know about this. But why hadn't they told them about the Condesce before she came? A little warning would have been nice.
"Let's go, then."
And that was how the two of them had found themselves in the greenhouse on Wednesday afternoon, jostled by a queue (rather, a barely contained sea) of patrons.
"What's all this bullshit?" Dave asked after being pushed aside by a hassled-looking parent with two small, rowdy children. Someone laughed (screamed?) in the distance. Rose immediately regretted coming.
"WATCH THE FUCKING LANGUAGE, DAVE. THERE ARE SMALL EARS." Karkat emerged from the crowd, looking as, if not more harried than the customers. He had several terracotta pots stacked under each of his arms, and colorful paint smeared on his face and clothing. "IT'S A WORKSHOP DAY- PEOPLE COME IN FOR GARDENING ADVICE, CRAFTS FOR THE KIDS, WHATEVER. IT'S TO BOOST SALES," he explained, pulling a face.
"Yeah that's not why we're here. Why the fuck didn't you tell us about 'Her Imperial Condescension?'" Dave surrounded the Condesce's ridiculous title with air quotes. Karkat paled, but didn't look surprised.
"I THINK YOU'D BETTER TALK TO KANAYA."
Karkat abandoned his cargo and turned around, weaving through the crowd to the back of the store, Rose and Dave in tow.
"… And That, Children, Is How You Make A Seed Bomb. Feel Free To Try Doing This At Home With A Guardian." Kanaya was sitting cross-legged amongst a gaggle of kids, teaching not in a classroom, but on a carpet of newspaper and plant seed. She was quite obviously in her element. A pity we are going to ruin her day, thought Rose. Kanaya looked up, noticing the new arrivals.
"Um, Kanaya. May we talk to you? Alone?" Rose blushed as her mind scrolled rapidly through all of the implications that statement had. Kanaya, like Karkat, was not shocked at Rose and Dave's appearance; rather, she was saddened. "Of Course. Karkat, Can You Take My Place While I'm Gone?"
Karkat nodded curtly, unenthusiastic about babysitting. "Rose, I'm gonna stay here while y'all talk. I'm learning how to make a bomb."
"SEED BOMB."
"Sure."
Rose narrowed her eyes at her brother, whose outdated sunglasses concealed a sloppily executed wink.
"Let's Go To The Storeroom," Kanaya suggested.
The storeroom, which was just a crowded closet that smelled distinctly of manure, had a single lightbulb to illuminate it. Kanaya fumbled around in the dark for a minute before locating the chain to switch it on.
"Okay, We Are Alone. What Do You Want To Know?" Kanaya's green eyes reflected the dim light, despondent. Rose was reluctant to be so harsh in her questioning, especially to Kanaya, but- for the sake of her business, her survival- she had to know.
"Everything. But first- who exactly is the Condesce?"
"Her Imperial Condescension- Known Colloquially As The Condesce- Is The Boss Of The Local Crime Syndicate. Anything Of Significance Around Here, From Business To Personal Affairs, She Has A Hand In It. She Knows Everything About Everyone, And Isn't Afraid To Exploit It," Kanaya sighed. "Quoted Verbatim From Her Business Card."
"Does that include you?" Rose couldn't stop herself from asking. Her companion's eyes wandered, meeting anything but Rose's eyes. "Er, Yes. And Karkat. That's Why She's So… Invested In My Business." Kanaya's guarded face told her not to ask what it was Her Imperial Condescension knew, despite her overwhelming curiosity.
"And that's what she does to everyone? Blackmails them so she gets a prime cut of their profits?"
"Yes, Essentially. I Assume She Has Leverage Against You And Dave As Well- Unless She just Threatened You With Her Bodyguards," Kanaya replied, casting an analytical eye over Rose's visage.
Rose took a step back. Kanaya really was quite astute- but she wasn't quite ready to bare the contents of her soul yet. "To an extent. But don't her activities alert the authorities? They're the exact opposite of legal- she should be behind bars several times over."
"She's Very Meticulous About Covering Her Tracks. It's Always Plain That She's Behind The Scams, But There Is No Clear-Cut Evidence To Prove It Is Her," Kanaya seethed, running a hand through her already thoroughly-raked hair.
"Innocent until proven guilty beyond a reasonable doubt," Rose mused. Her mind raced, assessing the situation- there was only one thing they could do. Rose burst out of the storeroom, a bewildered Kanaya in her wake. Dave and Karkat looked up from where they knelt on the floor, making less headway in their craft than some of the toddlers. They were tossing grass seed down each others' shirts when they thought the other wasn't looking.
"Dave, let's go. I need to make a phone call. Kanaya, Karkat- meet us at the café across the street on Friday." Rose promptly walked Dave, who was shedding seed, out of the shop.
Kanaya and Karkat stared after them, profoundly confused.
"What Have We Done?"
