I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I know! It's been FOREVER since I've updated!! It's just that stinkin school is taking over my life!! i hate it! hate it! hate it! and i have too much homework and that makes updating impossible...yeah...feel free to throw things at me, i deserve it after making you guyz wait so long, and then finally updating but with a short chapter....

and thank you to all my reviewers!! you guyz make me smile... :D

okay...here's chapter four...


Percy's POV

I can't remember the last time I cried. Whenever I feel the need to cry, I always push it away, trying not to show weakness. But today, I cried. I sobbed. I didn't even care; I just had to let everything pour out.

I wasn't crying because she left, no, I was crying because I was the one who made her leave, I was the one who had hurt her, I was the one who had made her cry. And I felt like a monster.

I don't even know what I did, but whatever it was I was beating myself up about it. I kept telling myself to get it together, but each time I tried I had another breakdown.

I felt stupid and weak, crying over a girl. But this was no ordinary girl, this was Annabeth Minerva Chase, and she was worth crying over. Annabeth is nice, funny, smart, brave, a good friend, no, wait, a great friend, beautiful even though she doesn't care about her appearance, if your sick she'll ask one of the nymphs to make you blue pancakes, she actually has goals, she can smile and scowl at you at the same time (which is impressive), she puts up with seaweed heads, she can build awesome sandcastles, if you push her because she was winning an argument she doesn't cry (but she does push you back), she can beat me in chess in 13.56 seconds, she used to be able to beat me at a spar in 12.48 seconds before I became invincible, she can beat the Ares campers in everything, she's so nice that she'll take the weight of the entire freaking sky for you, she's so tough that even after holding the sky for three days she can still fight, she is the best person I've ever known, she's the best girlfriend in the world and I love her to death.

Now a girl who is all that and more is worth crying over.

I don't know what to do with myself now that she's gone. Stay in my cabin forever? I would have to get out sometime to eat or else I'd starve to death. I will cry over her, but killing myself is a little much, don't you think?

I wanted to run away, get lost, escape. That reminded me of what Annabeth had told me before she left the other night: This is too much. I need to go, I need to get away. I wondered if she was feeling what I was feeling right now. That thought made me sick. I needed some fresh air, I needed to clear my head. It was like someone had slashed my heart into a million pieces and then thrown me into a cardboard box. I began to feel dizzy and sore from crying so much.

I opened the door that led out of my cabin my cabin. The sun blinded me and stung my dry eyes, but the fresh air renewed me. I took a deep breath and sat on the front steps of the Poseidon Cabin. I instantly began to come back to life with the breezy air and the sunshine.

If Annabeth were here, she would've come over and say: What's wrong, Seaweed Brain? And then she would laugh and mess up my hair. And I would feel better again, and I would laugh with her. Her eyes would shine and she'd offer to do me a favor, something to cheer me up. I could almost see her sitting next to me, "Gosh, Seaweed Brain, you can't honestly be crying over me?" she seemed to be saying. I sighed.

I could spend hours just thinking about Annabeth. Just remembering her, replaying her voice over and over in my head. And If I concentrated hard enough on those stormy gray eyes and beautiful blonde hair I can honestly say that I feel like she never left me, that she's here right now. I could feel her warmth beside me, I could see her out of the corner of my eyes. She was so close, yet so far away

I remember every look upon your face,
The way you roll your eyes, the way you taste
You make it hard for breathing
'Cause when I close my eyes and drift away
I think of you and everything's okay
And finally now, we're leaving.

I am officially a mess, I declared.

I got up and walked to the Athena cabin; thank the gods that nobody was in there. I found Annabeth's bunk and lay down.

Annabeth had a few secrets that only I knew; one of them was that she slept with a little blanket. When she first told me I laughed to hard I fell to the floor and earned a punch in the gut. Now I think Annabeth with a blanket kinda cute. Whoa, back up, note to self: never say that again. I don't know why the blanket was so special to her but I did know not to tell anyone and I respected that. Annabeth's blanket was pale and the sides were ripped and fringed from overuse. It was a white with yellow and green stripes, but the colors were faded. I took the blanket from under her pillow and hugged it to my chest. It was warm and smelled like her: lemony and sweet.

I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head, not believing that I was about to do this, but I opened my mouth and did it anyway. "Annabeth," I whispered, "I know your not here, and that you won't even hear me, but I want you to know that I'm sorry," I felt extremely stupid, "and…I love you." I felt even stupider. "I feel your pain, I do, and I know that I am completely responsible for it and that I will do anything to make it up for you. Anything." When I was done, I looked around, making sure that nobody heard me or saw me. Then I curled up in her bed, taking in her scent and her warmth that still lingered between the sheets, and fell asleep.

~^^^~…

Annabeth's POV

Today is a winding road that's taking me

To places that I didn't want to go, whoa

Today in the blink of an eye

I'm holding onto something

And I do not know why I tried

"Welcome to Massachusetts" I read off a big sign as I sped down the highway. It took five and a half hours to drive from New York to the coast of New Hampshire. So I bet your wondering: If it takes five hours to get there, and you left last night, how come you're only in Massachusetts? The sad truth is that I started to cry the other night as I drove away from Camp, away from him. And then I started to sob and the tears made it absolutely impossible to drive. So I pulled over somewhere along the beach and got out of my car. Then I ran to the water and dove in, letting the freezing waves numb out my pain. Being in the ocean again made me feel like his arms were still around me and his lips were still on mine. I never wanted to get out, I refused to get out. So I stayed in the water. I woke up the next morning lying on the sand. It took me a while to recover so I only really started to drive about four hours ago.

"Stupid, stupid Seaweed Brain." I muttered. I mentally smacked myself in the face for blaming him for what was my fault. This was my entire responsibility: the pain, the tears, his broken heart. Everything was caused by my entirely insane actions. "Stupid, stupid Annabeth." I modified my first comment. I was silent for a long time, but then I screamed, "Stupid, stupid Aphrodite!"

I groaned and rested my head on the steering wheal of the car my mother had rented for me. A black minivan beeped at me from behind and I sped up.

Images from last night flashed back into my head: Percy's beautiful, perfect, sea green eyes, filled with concern as he stroked my face, and the hurt in those beautiful eyes when I pushed him away. Every time he tried to love me, I pushed him away. I would never make that mistake again. I felt so heartless and empty.

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

Don't let me go

How could I be so cold-blooded? All I wanted was him, and because I wanted him so much, I left. I was angry at him because I thought that he would leave me, I thought he was a low-life cheater for kissing Thalia and then abandoning me. Now I'm just as bad as I thought he was, actually, I was probably worse. Percy would never leave me like I thought, never, and I realized that too late. "Stupid, stupid love. Stupid, stupid boys. It's ruining me!" I shouted.

I am officially a mess, I declared.

"Annabeth, calm down," I told myself. "You are making the right choice."

No your not. My conscience disagreed.

"Yes I am." I insisted.

No your not.

"Yes."

No.

"Yes."

You left him when he needed you most.

"I left him for a good reason!"

No. You thought you could escape your problems by leaving, when really your just making it worse.

"Im doing this for my mother!"

Please, the shell means nothing. She even told you that she could've found it herself, if you had backed out it wouldn't have made a difference.

"Okay, okay! Just leave me alone! I've done enough suffering."

He loved you…loved is past tense. I'm not sure how he feels now.

"HE DOES TOO LOVE ME! What do you know anyway!?"

I'm your conscience, I know everything.

"WELL DO YOU KNOW ENOUGH TO SHUT UP!?"

A lady in a big jeep gave me a weird look before cutting in front of me. I sighed. I was going crazy.

A part of me wanted to just turn around and drive back to New York. I would run past the camp border and wouldn't stop until I was safely in Percy's arms. I would kiss him and kiss him and kiss him. I would tell him that I was sorry and that I loved him. And while I was dreaming, he would kiss me and kiss and kiss me. And I would tell him that I was sorry and he would say It's okay, Wise Girl, and then he would tell me that he loved me. And I would say How could you love me after I left you? And he would say I love you, Annabeth, I love you to death, I've never stopped and I never will. Ha! Stupid, stupid conscience! He does love me! I groaned. Who am I kidding?

But my daydream was far from reality. One of the main reasons was that Percy and I have never told each other that we loved each other. It was just too awkward, I guess.

Some things we don't talk about

Rather do without and just hold the smile

Falling in and out of love

Ashamed and proud of, together all the while

Another was that there was no way Percy would ever talk to me again, much less kiss me.

About ten cars beeped at me at once and I realized I was holding up traffic. I quickly stomped on the gas and drove away.

I kept driving without another thought of Percy, that is, until I reached the bridge. I got through the EZ-pass lane and drove up over the sea. I looked down at the ocean, expecting it to be calm and blue, but instead the waves were strong and high, making it impossible for the poor kayakers to get anywhere. The water was a mixture of a deep blue and a muddy brown. I understood immediately what that meant: I had hurt Percy very badly and he was probably crying his eyes out.

My heart shattered when my brain showed me an image of Percy sitting in the Poseidon Cabin, curled up in a ball, and sobbing. Percy hardly ever cried, he was too strong and brave and always managed to look on the bright side of things, but the ocean told me that he was crying now, and all because of me. I felt like someone had just dropped the sky back onto my shoulders. I couldn't move, I was petrified with grief. I didn't know what to do, so I just sat there, inching along in traffic, staring out at the angry sea, and feeling extremely alone, atrocious, and heartbroken.

I started to cry too. Tears fogged up my vision and my loud wails made it impossible to concentrate. I pulled over.

I told you he didn't love you, my conscience reminded me, but you didn't believe me. That only made me cry harder.

This wasn't worth it. Forget the freaking shell. The only thing that mattered right now was Perseus Jackson.

I had to let him know that I loved him, I had to make things right. I found a piece of paper and a pen in the glove compartment. I leaned the paper against the window and began to write:

Percy—I'm sorry. I never ever should've left you. I'm so sorry, this is all my fault. Please forgive me. I need you and I lo I stopped writing for a second. Three tears landed on the paper as I questioned if I should tell him I loved him. If only Percy was here to wipe these tears away and kiss me like last night, only this time I would never push him away. I love you. I finally wrote. I really, really do. I understand if you don't believe me, I understand if you never want to see me again. I understand if you don't love me back. I deserve it. I promise I will fix this, maybe not right now, just give me some time and I will make things better. You have no idea how hard this is for me. And again, Im so sorry. I love you—Annabeth.

After I spilled all my secret feelings onto the scrap paper, I folded it up and slowly, oh so slowly, opened the door and stepped out. All of the cars inching by in the traffic jam stopped and stared at me. I heard a lot of: What in the world? and Should we go help her? and Oh look, Mommy, there's a girl out there! and then the following answer: Not now sweetie, Mommy's driving. I ignored all of them.

Tears spilled out of my closed gray eyes and ran down my cheeks. I was shaking as I began to walk toward the side of the bridge, I clutched the folded paper to my chest until I reached the edge, and then I carefully dropped it off the side. I watched as it slowly drifted into the angry sea and then dissolved into the water. I said a quick prayer to Poseidon before I walked back to my car and drove away.

Yeah I'm walking on a tightrope

I'm wrapped up in vines, I think we'll make it out

But you just gotta give me time

Strike me down with lightning

Let me feel you in my veins

I wanna let you know how much I feel your pain.


Ohh!! depressing!! ok, i promise, this is probably my last depressing/crying chapter, the next one will be HAPPY!! *smiles*

and sorry again, i was gonna make this chapter longer but it wasn't working out for me so i decided to just post wat I already had cuz i didnt wanna make you wait any longer...

and OMIGODS I AM OBSESSED WITH OWL CITY!! who else?? and Tik Tok by Ke$ha is the best song....just had to say that...

sooo....okay guyz!! click that button down there!! The one that says REVIEW. AND NO FLAMES!! they make me sad :'(

xx

miheadisfullofkelp