Chapter 4- To you I'm just a novel that you wish you'd never wrote.

(Lyric in title is Academia by Sia)

3 MONTHS LATER

"What the hell?!"

"I told you, I knew I would school your sorry butt."

"No, you cheated."

"How could I cheat, Lucas?!"

"I don't know."

"Exactly. Just admit you lost."

"Admit you cheated, Hales!"

Haley rolled her eyes, throwing the controller at Lucas. She was sitting cross-legged in Dan Scott's living room with Lucas, in front of the big screen TV playing basketball videogames.

"Haley!" Dan said from the kitchen. Lucas raised his eyebrows at Haley, who tipped her chin up towards the ceiling and groaned.

She got up from the floor, and walked into the kitchen. This summer has been crazy. She had been at Dan Scott's house all summer, to keep an eye on him and spend time with Lucas. She slept there, too, because she had nowhere else to stay. Dan had allowed it, surprisingly. Haley guessed he didn't know she didn't sign the annulment papers. "Lemonade or liquor?"

"Excuse me?" Haley asked, and Dan laughed. "Do you want to drink lemonade or alcohol?" Dan said, and Haley was a bit taken back by Dan. He had been so nice to her since Nathan left; he had been so nice to Lucas. Sometimes he threw in his little sadistic comments, but that's it. He left all his torturing to Deb.

"I'm not thirsty, Mr. Scott." Haley said a bit uncomfortably, and he nodded, smirk on his face. Haley realized where Nathan got it from.

He put the pitcher of lemonade in the fridge, the bottle of vodka in the cabinet. "You know where to get it if you want it." Dan smiled, then grabbed a bottle of hot sauce, and took Deb's cup of coffee that she had left on the counter.

He lifted the lid of coffee up, and poured the whole bottle in. "So hot." Dan murmured, and Haley eyed him for a second, and then turned to leave.

"Kind of like flames." Dan snapped, and Haley turned around. "Are you okay, Mr. Scott?" She asked, and he looked up.

He grinned. "Call me Dan." He said eerily, avoiding her question. Haley nodded slowly. She went back into the living room, where Lucas was sitting on the floor, on his laptop. "Looking for basketball cheat codes?" Haley said, amused.

He slammed his laptop shut. "Nope." He said, putting the laptop on the couch behind him.

"What did Dan want?" Lucas asked. Haley sighed. "He wanted to know if I wanted to drink lemonade or liquor." She said, rolling her eyes.

"Seriously?"

"Yup. So, does he know who just happened to pull him out of the dealership fire?" Haley said, and Lucas clamped a hand over her mouth. "Mmph!"

"Hales!" He hissed, craning his neck so he could see into the kitchen. Dan opened the glass doors, and gave Deb's coffee to her, grinning. "You can't say that to anyone, Haley. You swore."

"I know I swore, Lucas. I'm not talking about it to anyone else but you… Not that I have anyone to talk to besides you." Haley muttered, crossing her arms.

"Yeah, with Brooke gone for the summer and Peyton shutting you out, you have no one." Lucas teased, but Haley looked at Lucas seriously. "What are you going to do when Brooke comes back?"

"Hope to god she wants to be with me too. What are you going to do when Nathan comes back?"

"Hope to god he wants to be with me too?" Haley said, and put her head in her hands.

"If you knew things would have gotten this screwed up because you left for tour, would you have done it?" Lucas asked.

"Of course I wouldn't have done it, Luke!" Haley said, looking at him. She was surprised he would even ask her that. "Hell, I would never have sung to Nathan that night in the Café if I knew." Haley said, and Lucas nodded.

"I screwed up and I can't take it back now, Luke. But I can fix it." Haley said determined, putting her head on Lucas's shoulder. "I know, Hales." Lucas said, looking at the start menu for the game they were playing on the TV.

"One more game?" Lucas asked, and Haley giggled. "You're on." She said, reaching for the controller.

"Do you want to be on the same team this time?"

"Afraid you'll get beat again?"

"No, I just thought-"

"You thought wrong."

--

"71 to 47!" Haley said triumphantly. She threw down her controller, jumped up, and started dancing. "Do you charge by the hour or are you free?" Deb muttered, walking into the living room. She took a big sip from the vodka bottle that Dan offered Haley earlier. She either wanted to get drunk really fast or wanted to get the taste of hot sauce out of her mouth.

Haley was going to give her a rude remark right back, but she knew Deb could throw her out if she wanted. Haley just sat down, and smiled politely.

"That's what I thought." Deb sneered, going to the staircase. "You already corrupted one Scott brother. Don't go screw the other one."

"I wouldn't dare do that, Mrs. Scott. After all, isn't that your move? You corrupted Dan then screwed Keith?" Haley said, clamping her hand over her mouth. "Hales!" Lucas gasped, but Deb smiled.

"Whore." She mumbled, and swayed a bit. It was all she could think of as an insult, but then she grinned. "Make sure you wash Luke's sheets. Wouldn't want Nathan finding them when he gets home." Deb said, walking up the stairs.

"You know how sick that is?" Haley said, shuddering at the thought of her and Lucas together once Deb was gone.

"She's… A mess." Lucas sighed. He paused for a second. "So, you going to keep trying to avoid the fact Nathan's coming back?"

"I'm not avoiding it, I just…" She groaned. "Alright, I'm avoiding it. What if he doesn't want me back?" Haley sighed.

"Then I'll sock him a good one!" Lucas said, and then purposely wheezed like an old man.

"Funny." Haley said sarcastically, and Lucas laughed.

"I'm serious, Luke." Haley said after a pause.

"He's not going to not want you back, Hales. You just have to give him time. You broke his heart, and Nathan doesn't know what that felt like before you came along. He's probably thinking right now he should never have opened up to you and he's probably telling himself he's never going to open up to a girl again."

"Oh, well, thanks for the comfort." Haley muttered, fumbling with the control stick on the video game controller.

"Haley, you know I didn't mean it like that."

"Sure."

"Hales, you just have to prove to him you're not going anywhere." Lucas said gently, knowing he was pushing his boundaries on a touchy subject.

Haley nodded. "I know. But how am I supposed to do that? He didn't even say goodbye when he went to High Flyers. I remember that day, Lucas. I went to Karen's, remember? She let me sleep there. I woke up, and decided I'd go make everything right. Do you remember when I came to the door to find out from Deb, of all people, that he was gone?"

"Yeah, I remember. You cried in the bathroom for two hours." Lucas teased, and Haley furrowed her brow. "I did not!" She said stubbornly, crossing her arms. "I was… Uh, doing my hair." Haley's argument was weak, even she knew it.

"Please, Haley. Since Nathan left all you do with your hair is put it up." Lucas said, and Haley touched her hair insecurely.

"Well, not like I have to impress anyone." Haley murmured, and then looked at Lucas. "But wait, you're the one to talk! You don't even run a brush through your hair, and I haven't seen you in anything but sweatpants and a t-shirt since Brooke has been gone!"

"You want to talk about clothing, now? You haven't worn anything that matches since Nathan has been gone, and even when we leave the house you're in pajama pants and a sweatshirt!" Lucas argued. Haley looked down at her outfit. He was right; she was wearing purple pajama pants with white and dark blue polka dots, with a green tank top with gray stars and a turquoise zipper-up sweatshirt.

"This totally matches, Lucas. White and gray matches with everything." Haley crossed her arms. "And your statement isn't exactly true; when I'm working I wear those beige pants with the red shirt and an apron!"

Lucas scoffed. "The last day you worked was two months ago, Hales. Care to explain that one to me?" Lucas asked, and Haley shifted uncomfortably, playing with the zipper on her sweatshirt.

"Your mom told me I could work when I started school again. She said she didn't really need the help." Haley said. It was half true. Karen knew how uncomfortable Haley felt there, with little reminders of Nathan creeping up on her at the most random times. She had told Haley she could work whenever she wanted to, and she didn't need much help. Haley figured that when school started again, that everything would be better. Hopefully.

"The last day you saw your mother was two months ago, Luke. Do you want to explain that one to me?" Haley said, quick to change the subject. The curiosity to what happened between the two had gotten the best of her, so she just straight out asked Lucas.

Now Lucas was the one that was uncomfortable. He looked into the kitchen, where Dan was. He was peacefully eating his breakfast, with a small smile on his lips as he read the newspaper. "We got into a fight about me staying with Dan. You know I went to visit her at least every other day, the first month of summer. I think it was a day or two after you stopped working. The café was closed, it was getting pretty late. Mom was cleaning the counter, and I was eating some coffee cake. It was all silence."

Lucas paused for a minute, looking down at the floor then back up at Haley who was listening intently. "It was always silence. We didn't talk, I would just watch her clean and close up the café and I'd just eat. We both had so much to say, but neither one of us knew if it was the right thing or not. It was awkward, because I knew I hurt her and I knew that I was still hurting her by staying with Dan."

Haley broke eye contact with Lucas for a second, still wondering why Lucas was living with Dan. She had heard the two in the hallway, late at night, whispering for at least ten minutes. She couldn't hear them even when she pressed her ear against the bedroom door, but she had a feeling that Dan was giving Lucas something in exchange for him being there. Money, maybe? What else would Lucas need?

"The only thing we said was 'Hello' when I came into the Café, and 'Goodnight' when I left. No 'I love you', nothing. Just silence and unspoken regrets between those two words. It was eating away at everything, and she could feel it too. So Mom finally asked me why. Why I was staying with Dan. After I didn't answer, she threw her towel down onto the counter. She stared at me with a look, a look that told me she was pissed. It was really bad, Hales. Remember that time Mom had this crazy idea of going to church every Sunday? Remember when she decided that you should come with us? And then we go in the backyard and you pushed me into mud?"

Haley giggled. That was when they were ten, and Karen had gone through a church phase to thank God for what he had given her and Lucas. It was pretty important to her at the time, and then Haley went and pushed Lucas into mud.

"Then I took off my suit jacket and put it on the fence, but it kept falling off, remember? You went over to it, and held it up." Lucas said, and Haley nodded, smiling.

"You blasted me with that hose!" Haley said, and Lucas nodded, laughing. "My suit was all wet and muddy, and your dress was soaked. She was so mad. She grounded both of us but then you pointed out that you didn't live at her house, and she called your parents and told them to ground you. They figured whatever you did was worth grounding if Mom suggested it, so they grounded you for two weeks." Lucas said, and Haley rolled her eyes, remembering how mad Karen was.

"But anyways, the look in her eyes was even worse… And I could see hurt in her eyes, mixed in somewhere. She started yelling and asking me how I could do that to her, it was just… Horrible. I felt like a piece of shit, but I have to do what I have to do, you know? I left the café, haven't been there since." Lucas rubbed his neck, and Haley put her hand on his shoulder.

"Luke, if you know that you're hurting her, then why do you keep doing it?" Haley asked, and she could see he was getting mad. She went over the line that time.

"You knew you were hurting Nathan while you were on tour, why did you keep doing it? You're just as selfish as I am, so don't give me crap." Lucas said angrily, shaking his shoulder so Haley's hand fell off. He looked at Haley's hurt face. She was at loss for words for a second, but she didn't say anything. She just nodded slowly, and stood up.

"Real nice, Lucas." She muttered, leaving the room.

Lucas threw the controller at the PlayStation angrily. The screen went snowy, screeching out its static sound. Lucas sighed. He knew he shouldn't have said that to Haley, it just came out. Lucas muted the TV and sat there in silence, staring at the TV screen like a zombie.

The front door opened and slammed behind Lucas.

"Still mooching off my parents?"