Author's Note: Yes, I'm still writing these. It's an obsession. Legal at bottom..

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ON BEYOND WRONGSICK

by SHADO COMMANDER

Chapter Four – Blue Moons, Black Holes and a Mean Green Sitch

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1

"Yes, yes, we see this a lot with you young Disney types… an unfortunate side effect of the censors forbidding anyone to tell you about the real facts of life while you're growing up on-camera, and no one thinking to go back and fill you in on the stuff you missed once the camera's are off." The Emergency Room Doctor smiled at the nearly naked Kim Possible, whose heroic young charms were just barely concealed by the half-buttoned shirt that was all she'd had time to throw on in her mad race to the hospital from Cheer Camp.

Kim sighed and looked at Tara, who was in turn looking at Ron inside the oxygen tent, where his skin had finally returned to its normal pink color after having turned almost blue. "It's just so embarrassing sir, but in the future I think they'll remember that it's the OTHER head that the condom goes over.

2

"THAT'S IT, I'VE HAD IT WITH THIS SHIT!" Shego screamed, grabbing her shrieking blue employer, carrying him over her head into the so-called facilities of the incredibly cheap lair he'd expected her to clean up all by her fucking herself due to 'budget cuts' and flung him bodily through the crudely cut round hole in the plywood seat of what could only generously be called an indoor outhouse.

Having finally decided to eliminate the great blue poop from her life, she decided to further punctuate the matter by defecating on said azure excrement, and it was only at the end of the most incredibly enjoyable and productive crap, piss and fart session of her life that she finally heard the meek little voice echoing coming from deep within the odoriferous bowels of the latrine: "Shego, turds hurt you know!"

3

"You're a bad, bad, bad, BAD girl!" Kim Possible… wearing nothing but huge green strap on and nine inch heeled boots… shouted as she used the butt of her cat of nine tails to discipline her equally nearly naked partner.

Shego, wearing only a gimp mask and the custom plasma-proof armbinders that secured her hands behind her back, merely shrugged as they walked back down the sidewalk to their parked car. "Okay, so I got some things mixed up, but on the bright side the Training And Restraint Association's annual party is tomorrow so we didn't miss anything and no one will EVER be able to complain that Tara's baby shower was dull or uneventful."

4

Totally, puzzled, Tara once again took off all her clothes, made sure she was within the focus area of her webcam, and sat on the edge of her bed provocatively with her legs spread wide. "Do I really have to do this every time to get the special pricing?"

"Absolutely ma'am, Glamazon has to make sure that you're really who you say you our for 'Get Your Order for 1/10th percent price' deal and with today's technology, a scan of identifiable body makings is the only 100% positive way," a disguised Wade Load responded promptly, his huge fake mustache covering the broad grin he'd had on his face ever since he'd hacked into Kim's attractive blonde friend's computer and convinced her that he was a super-discount online vendor with ridiculously unbeatable prices… whereas, in fact, he just paid full price for everything with a tiny fraction of the spectacular income her earned from the 'Tara-Tease' erotic webcam website he'd set up with his now enormous collection of photos.

5

"Now remember, first we saw Barney the dinosaur go in there, then Ziro the Hutt showed up and next it was the McDonald's Grimace…" Wego # 1's voice dropped off as yet another party came sneaking down the hall at the No-Tell Motel, where Team Go's lack of funds had forced them to stay while attending the National Animation and Merchandising Bit-players League of Associated Chararacter's (NAMBLAC) bi-annual convention in Portland.

As they stealthily watched Tinky Winky slip into Mego's room as well, and heard the off color giggling, laughter and show tune music coming from inside, Wego # 2 could only shake his head in amazement at his twin. "Okay, you win… maybe there really is something to that whole thing about purple colored characters after all."

6

Dressed in his best black t-shirt and with a fresh coat of "No More Grey for Blondes" on his mullet, Motor Ed patted the empty seat beside him as he drove his newly restored pink and purple Edsel slowly alongside the woman of his dreams… much to the irritation of the long line of drivers backing up behind him. "Aw, quit playing so hard to get and hop in Green… this ride is a seriously major pussy-wagon and you know it!"

"Yeah, but too bad it's already got a seriously major pussy in it," Shego fired back as she walked away with a dismissive smirk.

7

"It's just that Brick is such a picky eater,' Bonnie pleaded with what she hoped was a desperate expression.

"Well, okay, I guess I can understand that you'd want to be sure of how it tastes in actual use," Tara finally agreed and as Bonnie watched in delight as her friend stripped down, lay on the bed and began applying samples of the kiwi-flavored love gel to the 'appropriate areas' so for 'taste-testing,' it was clear that phase one of Operation Lesbos was go and now all BonBon had to do was come up with a semi-convincing reason for the blonde to let her 'test-drive' her new strap-on as well…

8

"Sorry Doc, but this is a new low even for you and I'm not going against anyone with that kind of financial resources," Shego growled to her nominal employer..

"But they were CLEARLY making fun of me in their act," Drakken whined, ignoring the glares from the three slightly charred blue mimes and six dozen audience members who were all pressing charges after his 'accidental' release of anti-matter at the Blue Man Group matinee.

9

"Fear not young maiden, I have come at last!" Hego announced to the quivering blonde.

"Then for God's sake, get off of me so I can breathe," the bewigged and mostly in drag Drakken grunted in falsetto, incredibly thankful that his secret mission to collect sperm samples from the incredibly unobservant dumb blue ox had gone off without the inconvenience of the dim-witted hero noticing that the 'hot chick' he'd just scored with actually had a penis and testicles.

10

"What the… a tie and two pairs of socks?" Shego puzzled as she looked up from her just unwrapped gift to stare at her girlfriend in confusion.

"Oh shit," Kim gasped, now all too aware of why her father had been looking at her so strangely during the family get-together earlier and where the present that SHOULD have been in the green vixen's package… a homemade coupon for 'Fifty Hours of Great Oral Sex' had gone.

11

"When my contract comes up for renegotiation this clause is definitely coming out!" Shego growled in disgust.

"Hey, it's your fault for not looking at the fine print specifying what 'employee will wear appropriate apparel in accordance with employer's preferred holiday traditions' meant," Drakken grinned as he placed the angel on top of Shego's head while the irritated villainess was preoccupied with keep the wires, electric lights and other ornaments draped around her naked body from coming loose and exposing her to all the henchmen gathered for the traditional 'Rated XXXMas YuleTide Bash and Hanu-Kegger.'

12

"You've been a bad boy, and I warned you… so into the black hole you go!" Mr. Dr. Possible leered.

"Oh, just put it in honey," a sweating Dr. Ann Possible sighed as James came in for a 'docking maneuver' with the 'alternate access hatch,' wishing her husband would come up with a different euphemism and wondering when their daughter would finally catch on as to what he was really talking about doing to her boyfriends.

13

"Okay, maybe I wasn't so great, but you have admit I'm blue," Drakken whimpered as the mighty green female warrior Warmonga crawled naked out of the bed and stared skeptically at his tiny, shriveled and thoroughly intimidated male member.

In response, the alien battle no-longer-a-maiden merely picked up her battle fork and unlatched the hidden catch so that it unfolded and separated into an individual knife, fork and spoon. "It matters not in any case, for having completed the mating ritual, I must now, as custom requires, slay, eat and devour he who has inseminated me… would you prefer the knife or shall I just bite off your head?"

14

"Kim, have you seen my… GREAT JUMPING GOSHAROOTIES!" Ron squealed like a little girl after opening the door to the hotel room he'd seen Kim slipping into earlier.

A cigarette dangling from her lip, Kim looked up from one of her mother's copies of Basic Surgery for Beginners halfway through the act of removing the unconscious girl in the ice-filled tub… Bonnie's… left kidney and heard the sound of her illicit cheerleader organ brokerage flitting away. "Well, I guess THAT blows my good girl image, huh?"

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Ye Old Legal stuff: Kim Possible, Shego, Ron Stoppable, Rufus, Wade Load, Mr. & Mrs. Stoppable, Dr. Drakken, Warmonga, Motor Ed, Bonnie Rockwaller, Tara, Hego, Mego, the Wegos, Brick Flagg, Drs. Anne and James Possible and all other characters borrowed from the wonderful KP Universe are the creations of Mark McCorkle and Bob Schooley, and those names are all trademarks of the Disney media organizations. The Grimace is the property of and a trademark of McDonalds, Zito the Hutt is a property and trademark of Lucasfilm and Barney the Purple Dinosaur is the property and trademark of HiT Entertainment. EDIT: Twinky Winky was created by Anne Wood and Andrew Davenport, and is the property and a trademark of Ragdoll Productions and the BBC... and you just try suing us, Mr. Tee Nguyen Kee (yes, we know your real name,) and we'll publish those photos of what you really carry around in that purse of yours! Somehow I don't think the Energizer Bunny would like that at all, would he? Although use in this context may be considered fair under parody law, just in case: this work was not created for profit, no money changed hands etc. Also, this story takes place at a time at which all characters shown should be considered to be over the legal age of 18…