As soon as I woke up, I decided to go find Genkai and apologize for not making it to the tree. I had failed at the task she had given me, and she seemed the type to look down on failure no matter what the excuse. She would probably punish me.
My head down, I walked out of the bedroom and quickly found Genkai. She was sitting Indian-style in a dojo, the black mat underneath her looking a little thin and worn. The mat was possibly as old as the woman.
"Genkai, I apologize for failing," I said softly but firmly, making sure she could hear me. There was no point in apologizing if no one could understand a word I was saying.
"What was your excuse?" Genkai asked, merely glancing at me for a moment.
"Excuse?" I repeated, unsure about what she wanted to know.
"Why did you fail?" she clarified, sounding annoyed with me.
I shrugged slightly. "I don't know," I replied, not knowing what else to say. "I don't have an excuse." Truthfully, I had suffered from withdrawal, but my mother had always hated excuses, and I had a feeling that Genkai was the same way. Actually, I knew a lot of other people who hated excuses--my old teachers and classmates.
Genkai seemed to be intrigued by my answer, slightly raising one of her eyebrows. "No excuse, huh?" She grinned, but the expression was not comforting. It gave me a bad feeling. "Well, then, perhaps you would like to try again?"
I nodded my head. "Yes."
"Good." She began to walk off, not even turning around to make sure I was following. Of course, she didn't need to. I kept at her heels, knowing exactly what she wanted me to do. It wasn't that hard to figure out. She wanted what everyone else wanted--she wanted me to obey her.
Soon, I was back out in the dark forest; however, there was one difference--no one was watching me. The familiar eyes of Hiei had yet to lit on me, which I was thankful for. He had probably found something better to do with his time, which couldn't have been hard. I was pretty worthless.
After a few moments, I found out that Hiei hadn't decided to do something else. I could suddenly sense his eyes on me again, which meant I probably needed to have another talk with him. Yippee. Just what I wanted to do--socialize with someone. I preferred merely to be left alone.
Perhaps there was another way to be rid of him though. If I walked into some danger or toward the bad things I sensed, perhaps he would refuse to follow me anymore. It was certainly worth a shot, especially if I could convince Hiei to leave me alone without saying a single word to him.
Watching where I stepped, I picked my way through some underbrush and toward a "bad" area, hoping that Hiei would stop following me. He didn't. Oh well. It seemed that I would actually have to walk into the bad area. It couldn't be that bad, and if it was, the worst that could happen would be my death. After already facing death, the option didn't even worry me in the slightest... not that it ever had anyway.
I stopped walking when I was as close to the bad area as I could become, which left me standing at the edge of a minuscule pond. Actually, it reminded me of a puddle more than a pond because it was so small, and steam rose off the surface. Perhaps it was a hot spring, but that left me the question of why I felt so uncomfortable around it, while it felt like I was in danger. Surely the water was harmless. Unless, of course, there was something in the water... like a poison.
My manner calm I knelt down by the hot spring, making sure I didn't sit on my hair. I smelled the air around the water, but I couldn't detect anything unusual. The air smelled normal, so I moved my attention to the plants around the water. They appeared to be perfectly fine--green, strong, and healthy. So, that meant no poison.
It seemed that the feelings I had were absolutely worthless. Go figure. I'd never been able to do anything right before, so it made sense that I would continue to do everything wrong. Of course, that could possibly explain why Hiei was still following me. He didn't trust me not to do something incredibly stupid. Then again, maybe it didn't explain why. He had struck me as the type who had no problem letting weak or stupid people fall.
Mentally sighing, I tentatively reached out and dipped my hand in the water, which turned out to be hot enough to soothe aching muscles but cool enough not to burn skin. Nice. Perhaps Genkai would allow me to return to the hot spring and use it. I didn't dare hope though; knowing my horrible luck, she would probably forbid it.
Suddenly, a small blue face appeared just under the surface as blue webbed hands reached out and grabbed my wrist. I had just enough time to gasp before the creature pulled me into the hot spring and then underwater.
The hot liquid enveloped me, and my hair soon proved to be the greatest problem. It floated around me, tangling around my body and blocking my line of vision. My clothes restricted my leg movement, making it hard to swim back up to the surface. The blue creature kept a tight grip on me through it all, its hands the only thing I could feel that wasn't warm. It dragged me down farther as I quickly ran out of oxygen. For some reason I couldn't make him release me. I wasn't strong enough. It seemed I was going to die by drowning.
I froze for a brief moment, finally realizing the true depth of my problem. Dying didn't bother me, but if I did drown, then I wouldn't be able to help people. I wouldn't be able to save another little girl. With that thought on my mind, I focused all my strength and attention on getting back to the surface.
Strangely enough, I was able to swim up. It almost felt like the water was pushing up on me, trying to help me. Of course, I was suffering from oxygen deprivation, so I was probably merely imagining it all. First of all, water couldn't move to help me--it was an inanimate object; and second, no one--or nothing, for that matter--would ever help me. No one ever helped someone who was worthless.
Right before I broke the surface, I had to gasp in an instinctive attempt to put oxygen back in my lungs. Since I was still underwater, I breathed in the hot liquid. Not a good thing to do, that was for sure.
I surfaced, coughing and sputtering, trying to empty my lungs of the water before the creature had a chance to drag me back down. The instant I felt myself begin to fall back underwater, the creature released me. Deciding to contemplate over the reason why later, I hauled myself out of the hot spring, which was quite a feat for me. My water-logged hair was enormously heavy. Then, I coughed up the rest of the liquid that had invaded my respiratory system. My lungs and throat burned, but the pain I was experiencing was nothing compared to what I was used to. After all, my mother had tried to drown and choke me a few times.
Pushing my hair out of my face, I glanced back at the hot spring. The water was slightly red, and the body of the creature was floating near the surface, one of its hands caught between two rocks. Its throat had been slit. Someone had saved my life.
Feeling familiar eyes on me, I figured out who had helped me--Hiei. The only question was, why had he done it? I couldn't think of a single reason. I couldn't even figure out why he was still watching me. Surely he had figured out I wasn't worth his time.
"Thank you," I said softly but clearly. Whether I understood his reasons or not didn't matter. He had still helped me, so he deserved to be thanked.
As I expected, no response came. So, I stood up and began wringing out my hair and clothes. Soon, the ground beneath me resembled a small swamp. My long hair could hold quite a bit of water, it seemed.
After determining that I was as dry as I was going to become, I began walking again. I avoided all the areas which gave me bad feelings. I had learned my lesson at the hot spring, and it wasn't like putting myself in danger did any good. No matter what I did, Hiei continued to follow me like a shadow. How tiring... at least for him. He should have grown bored with me a long time ago.
Sometime later, I made it to the tall tree. At least, I assumed it was the tree I was supposed to reach. Genkai was standing underneath it, hands clasped behind her back. She looked a little surprised to see me.
"What happened to you?" she asked, frowning. I briefly wondered how long she had been waiting for me, because she sounded unhappy. It seemed that I had messed up yet again... not that it was a big surprise. I was always messing up one thing or another.
"I fell in a hot spring," I answered unemotionally. If she was angry, then it would be best not to aggravate her any more.
Genkai gave me a look that said she knew I was omitting information, but I didn't care. To say more would have been foolish and stupid. It would have sounded like an excuse, and I didn't make excuses... ever. Excuses just angered people.
"Very well. Follow me," she stated, voice neutral. I couldn't tell if she was angry at me any more. "We're going back to the shrine."
"Yes, ma'am." I trailed after the short old woman, trying my best to ignore how heavy my wet clothes were and the pair of intense eyes following me. Hiei watching me had most definitely grown tiring for me, and I really didn't feel like talking to him again about it. If I did, he'd just probably yell at me or hit me. I always tried to avoid that.
Genkai and I arrived back at the shrine in no time at all, which was probably a good thing. I could feel my withdrawal symptoms slowly returning. Oh well. As long as I didn't faint and bust my head open all over the paths that I had just swept, I didn't care what happened.
I followed the old woman inside, pausing only slightly as I crossed the threshold. Would my shadow continue watching me? It didn't matter to me what he did, but I couldn't help but wonder a little. Why was Hiei constantly following me? I wasn't interesting nor a threat to him or anyone else. I was simply worthless--a little girl with funny-colored hair and pink eyes. For heaven's sake, I looked more like a circus freak than anything.
Once inside, Genkai handed me a cloth and a bottle of window cleaner. "I assume you know what to do with this," she stated, voice as rough as normal.
I nodded my head. "Yes, ma'am."
She glared at me. "My name is Genkai. Use it."
"Ma'am?" I cocked my head to the side, unable to comprehend what she was telling me to do. She was asking me to call her by her name? Why? If I obeyed, would she yell at me afterwards for lack of respect? Hmmm... I couldn't tell by reading her face, which, of course, left me completely clueless.
"What I wouldn't give for at least one student with brains," Genkai muttered and then sighed. "Alright. Let me spell it out for you, dimwit."
I mentally winced, knowing what was coming next--a lecture and then violence. I didn't like being hit. It hurt. Everything my mom had put me through had really hurt. Being dropped off the back deck at age seven had ended with me in the hospital, both legs broken. It had been agony the whole time, and my mother hadn't cared in the least.
"You constantly calling me ma'am annoys me, so stop it and use my real name," she ordered, tone stern. She obviously meant business.
"Yes, Genkai." I could obey direct orders like that, even if I couldn't understand exactly why they were given. Maybe, someday, I'd be smart enough to comprehend, but I doubted it. Worthless people remained worthless.
"Now, get to work on the windows. Then, after supper, we'll continue with your training," the pinkish-gray haired woman informed me.
"Okay." I walked off to do my job, fighting against the dizziness that was sweeping through me. It took some effort, but I managed to stay upright and conscious... quite a feat for me.
I was interrupted only twice while I cleaned windows. Yukina checked on me once, making sure I was still alive and functioning. It confused me about how sweet and kind she was to me. Of course, I had the feeling she was that way with everyone. Some people were just that way, although even they tended to avoid me after a while.
Yusuke was the second one to come up to me. He said he was leaving; he also mentioned the mall and someone named Keiko, but it was hard to tell with him muttering. He didn't sound happy; but then, he was talking to me, so I couldn't really blame him. No one was happy around me. Such as life.
I finished with the windows just in time for supper, which I found rather amazing. Genkai's shrine had quite a few windows, most of which had been rather filthy. It probably should have taken me at least an hour more, but it seemed that my demon body was good for something. It had better speed and endurance... when it wasn't going into withdrawal.
Supper was an informal affair, especially since Genkai claimed she couldn't cook. Tea was more her thing, so Yukina and I prepared the meal. Naturally, the red-eyed girl took charge, gently telling me what she needed done. I did whatever she asked; and, in no time at all, supper was ready.
Everyone was quiet while we ate, which I had no problem with. The only thing that bothered me was the fact that Yukina and Genkai let me eat beside them. No one had ever allowed me to do that. Both women confused me so much that I put them in the same category as Hiei--the category of people I couldn't understand and probably never would.
CotA: Sorry, no review responses today. I'm a little busy. I'll get them all on the next chappie. Promise.
