A/N: I give you the new and improved: Chapter 4
Thanks for reading and reviewing. You guys are awesome!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter 4
I sat down quickly and took my notes and biology text book out of my beat up backpack. I felt Bella's eyes on me and was immediately self conscious. Suddenly I wished I had paid a bit more attention to my appearance today. I never did, but sitting with the beautiful creature across the table, I suddenly felt out of place. I looked around the dimly lit library whose shelves were filled with shabby, outdated copies of the typical array of high school books. The carpet beneath the soles of my scuffed up shoes was worn and faded and the table we were sitting at looked older than us.
I finally dragged my eyes to Bella. As I took in her ethereal appearance, I realized that I wasn't the one who was out of place; I fit right in amongst the stacks of dusty books and small town students and teachers, in comparison to the magnificent girl across from me.
"Should we get started, Edward?" I loved the way my name sounded on her lips.
"Uh, yeah. Sure," I answered, nodding my head in agreement.
We reviewed some of the material that we knew would be on the test next week. I was pleased to learn how quick Bella's mind was. At times it seemed like she didn't even need her notes as we studied. The fact that she was intelligent only further piqued my interest in her. After about forty-five minutes of solid studying, I decided to attempt to engage her in a non academic conversation. I yawned and stretched my arms up over my head, leaning back in my chair.
"So, Bella…" I began.
She stopped writing and looked up at me with one eyebrow raised.
"You live with your aunt and uncle right? What do they do?" It wasn't the question I had originally planned to ask, but I chickened out at the last second.
"Charlie is the chief of police in Forks and Reneé is a homemaker," she answered smoothly.
"Chief of police, huh? That must cramp your style a little." Cramp your style? What is this, nineteen ninety-two?
She rolled her eyes and shook her head before going back to her writing.
"You seem like you're pretty close with your sister, Jessica," I asked, trying once more to engage her.
Bella smiled as she looked into the distance for a moment before answering. "Jessica is my best friend." I could sense from her response the bond the two sisters shared was strong.
"You two don't seem to have a lot other friends besides your…cousin is it? Michael?" I pressed on. Did I just infer that she was unpopular? Alarm bells started going off in my head, warning me that I was entering dangerous territory. Sure enough Bella narrowed her eyes at me before answering me in a flat voice.
"Not many people understand our…situation, with our parents. It's hard to open ourselves up to strangers. It's just easier to stick together. We are lucky to have each other."
I could tell by her clipped tone that she was irritated with me, so I asked the question I originally meant to ask.
"Why do you always look so frustrated by me? Do I annoy you that much?" I questioned softly.
She didn't answer. After a minute, I thought maybe she would just ignore me, that my window to Bella had closed shut again. Then, when I had almost given up and decided to resume studying, she spoke softly.
"I'm not frustrated with you. I'm frustrated with myself." Her tone was different now, softer again.
Now it was my turn to furrow my eyebrows at her. What could she possibly be frustrated with herself about?
"Explain, please," I requested leaning in closer to her.
She hesitated for a moment, seeming to debate whether to answer me or not. Finally she sighed and looked up.
"I don't seem to be able to--" she paused, seeming to search for the right words. "keep you from being interested in me."
I felt embarrassed. I knew that I hadn't exactly been playing it cool with her, but I suddenly felt like an idiot. I felt the familiar heat creeping slowly up my collar.
"Please, don't misunderstand me, Edward. It's flattering; I'm just not used to it," she said quickly, apparently seeing my expression and obvious embarrassment. I couldn't help what I said next.
"Bella, how can you possibly not be used to receiving attention from guys? You are absolutely gorgeous." Yep, no filter.
She sighed and looked out the window near our table.
"Edward, it's…everything is complicated." She shook her head, frustrated again.
"Bella," I said quietly, my heart beating in my chest, "I am interested in you. I'm sorry if that upsets you, but I can't help it. I want to get to know you. If you don't want to get to know me, then that's fine. Say the word, right now, and I'll leave you alone." My chest clenched at the thought, but I pressed on; I had to finish what I had to say. "But I don't think you want me to leave you alone. I think you're scared because for some reason I cannot even begin to fathom, the guys in this school have not paid you the attention I know you deserve. But I want to give you the attention you deserve. Will you let me?"
I held my breath as I watched for some sign from her.
Slowly, almost imperceptibly, she nodded. She didn't look up from her paper, or make eye contact, or even smile, but she nodded. I couldn't help the grin that spread across my face.
"I have to go," she said softly. My heart thumped. Not yet, I wasn't ready for her to leave yet.
"I just…wait," I stumbled. "Please. I…when can I see you again?" I asked, trying and failing to keep the note of desperation out of my voice. She was leaving, but she had nodded. That nod would have to be enough to sustain me until I could get a little more out of her.
"Tomorrow in class," she said, suppressing a smirk.
"Funny, Swan. What about outside of class." I clung mentally to her nod.
She sighed and put her small delicate fingers to her temples, as if she suddenly had a headache.
"I have to go into Seattle on Saturday. Feel like taking a road trip?" she asked.
I swallowed quickly. It was my turn to nod, suddenly mute.
"Okay, see you tomorrow then," she said as she gathered her things. I watched her go and was finally rewarded with a smile. It was a real smile. Not the timid small things I had been getting since I met her. No, this was a full blown smile, with teeth and everything. It took my breath away, and I sat, staggered as I watched her walk gracefully out of the library.
Saturday. That was two days away. As I sat in the dingy, cramped library of Forks High I wondered how I would make it till Saturday.
A/N: Thanks to Belle of the Boulevard and My Smile Is My Tears for beta'ing for me. They're from Project Team Beta, and they ROCK!!
