Author's note at the end of the chapter.
Chapter 4
Katniss's POV
It's five o'clock on Saturday morning, and I barely slept during the night. I was too worried about meeting him. If I hadn't promised Peeta, I would back out now. But I told him I would show him a beautiful place.
I take a water bottle and my meal basket. This week, Prim made goat cheese, so I include that in the basket. I check one last time to make sure I haven't forgotten anything, and I'm leaving. The light is still dim outside, but the promise of a sunny day is here.
He is already there when I arrive at the fence. He is smiling widely and seems very awake. He probably slept soundly, unlike me. He's brought a big bag with him.
"That's a big bag you've got." I point at his bag.
"I know, but there was some stuff I really needed to bring."
"You don't look tired at all. I'm impressed, since it's only six o'clock."
"Usually I get up at 4:30 in the morning, when it's my turn to work at the bakery."
That explains it. I feel stupid.
I pass through the fence, and he passes me the bag. It's not actually that heavy. I wonder if Peeta will have trouble going through the fence this time. But this time, the hole is large enough for him. I'm proud of myself.
"Oh! I didn't have trouble this time." He looks surprised, then looks at me in awe. "You made the hole bigger for me?"
I shrugs. He gives me a wide, sweet smile. I shiver. Strange, because it isn't cold at all.
"Thanks, Katniss."
"Let's go! The waterfall isn't very close. It will take a while. I hope you don't mind a long walk in the forest."
He shakes his head, and he doesn't hide his enthusiasm. I can tell he is thrilled to be here. I feel relaxed, not pressured. The day won't be long and painful, like I was dreading.
"I need to take my bow. You never know if you'll meet game on the road. I don't want to miss an opportunity."
He nods.
"Katniss. About what happened at my locker…my friends haven't stopped nagging me about it."
Right, of course they would. I wonder what he told them.
"What did you say?"
"I didn't want them to know about- you know, about Oliver and what I tried to do, so I made up a story. I'll tell you what I said to them. I hope you won't be mad at me."
I hope he didn't say anything stupid that would make me look bad.
"Well, I'm listening. What did you say to them?"
"Well, I tried to think of what you would do." He seems a bit shy, suddenly. "I said that a guy made you drop your books, and then I helped you and you were mad at me, because you aren't a damsel in distress who needs help." He says this all very quickly. I'm stunned, because my own lie was so similar.
"Are you angry?" he asks.
"No, just surprised, because I said about the same thing to my sister." I avoid mentioning Gale.
He looks stunned as well.
"That's cool. We made up the same story."
We arrive at the place where I hide my bow. I wonder if I can trust him. Can I show him where I hide it? Then, I remember: he is the boy with the bread. He took a beating to save my life. I don't hesitate anymore and take my bow.
"Can I see it?" He's very curious.
"Yes." I show him, but I don't want him to touch it. My bow is very valuable. He examines it with interest.
"It's a beautiful bow."
"Yes, my father made it himself," I say proudly. "Let's go." The sun is up now. I'll start seeing animals soon. It will be great to hunt. Except for one huge problem I quickly notice: the noise Peeta makes when he walks. I didn't even think it was humanly possible to make that much noise; he sounds like an elephant. Every step that he takes literally hurts my ears. After ten minutes, I can't handle the situation anymore. I lose my patience.
"Peeta, could you make a little less noise when you walk? If you could try not to step on every dead branch? The animals won't go near us." I try my best to sound nice.
"Oh! Sorry, yes. I'll be careful."
Yet nothing changes. He walks like a hippopotamus. I would be annoyed if he weren't trying his best not to make any noise. It's strangely cute, because he fails miserably.
"Sorry. I'm not actually that heavy. I think it's because of my wrestling habits. We learn to have our feet fully planted on the ground."
That's logical. It's not his fault.
"So Peeta, why do you wrestle?"
"It's a family tradition. All the Mellarks have been on the wrestling team. It was basically my mother's decision. I'm not bad at wrestling. Almost beat my brother last year."
"You can still try to beat him this year."
"Well, I don't know if I could ever beat him. He's strong."
"I bet you could. You can easily lift those hundred-pound flour sacks."
"You've seen me carry the sacks of flour? But our deliveries are really early, and only once a month." He is frowning now. Damn! Did I just sound like a stalker or something?
"I saw you one time, when I went to the town early to sell strawberries."
In fact, I realise now, that I have always kept an eye on Peeta. I had also known that he was on the wrestling team.
The heat of a ray of sunlight warms my face. Peeta stops abruptly.
"What?"
He is struck by something. I look at the surroundings, but I don't see anything in particular.
"It's magnificent, Katniss. It's beautiful."
I feel stupid, not seeing what he's talking about.
"What's beautiful?"
He looks at me strangely.
"Open your eyes, Katniss. The sunlight is making a path through the trees and it's landing on the stream. It looks like the water is filled with diamonds. It's breathtaking."
I still don't see what he means.
He approaches me.
"Look, Katniss." He turns his head toward the trees and I notice the rays passing through the foliage. "The colors of the leaves, see the rays." It's true that it's pretty. In the forest, I don't usually have time to focus on these things. I'm always here to hunt, or to clear my head when I'm worried. I tilt my head to the angle of the sunbeams and his eyes are on the trickle of water. The water does shine. It looks like it contains dozens of small crystals. It's splendid. The water seems to be alive and sparkles like diamonds.
It seems like time has stopped. If paradise exists, I believe that Peeta has just opened the door for me. I feel as if I am in another world, far, far away from Panem.
"You see it now?"
"Yes. Thank you Peeta." It is splendid. The forest means so much to me- food, peace, and freedom- but I never paid attention before to its real beauty.
The sun's rays disappear behind a large white cloud. The magic moment flies.
"Let's go," I say. "We are almost there."
I can't wait for him to see the waterfall now.
About half an hour later, we arrive. This is not a big waterfall, but it has an enormous effect on Peeta. For several minutes, he remains silent, mouth partly open. His eyes are shiny. It makes me happy. Suddenly, he hugs me.
"Thank you, Katniss." I'm stunned by his attitude and do nothing. He lets go of me within a minute. Then he runs to see the waterfall. I still have not budged an inch. No boy, not even Gale, has hugged me before. I can still feel his strong arms around my body.
I do not know what to think. It was not unpleasant, but I felt like a fragile and tiny little thing in his big arms. I don't like the feeling. It felt weird. I have to tell him not to ever do that again.
I'm about to say so, but he is so excited to be here. He seems to be trying to watch the waterfall at every angle possible. Suddenly, he plunges his head into the water. It must be freezing. Is he crazy? When he comes up, his face is dripping and several strands of his hair are soaked. The sun bathes his face. Then he closes his beautiful blue eyes in order to fully feel the heat. He looks almost like a statue. His blonde hair seems to shine; he is dazzling. Eventually, he shakes his head and smiles at me. My heart is pounding.
"It's cold, but so good!" His cheerfulness is contagious. It is impossible to stay annoyed with Peeta Mellark. It's not important anymore what I was about to say about the hug. He is just a spontaneous person. I forgive him.
He settles on a large stone and opens his bag.
"What's that?" I ask.
"This is my small painting kit. I don't have much: a few brushes, black and white paint, and this sketch book."
He handles the objects with the same care that I do with my bow. I can't help but think everything must cost a fortune.
"Is the paint really expensive?"
He nods.
"I can't afford this stuff myself. Everything was a gift from Delly."
I know Delly. She is the girl who has always been with him since as long as I remember. She is exuberant, seems to like everyone, and is a little chubby.
"Is she your girlfriend?" Damn, why don't I think before speaking? What if he thinks it's not my business?
He looks me straight in the eyes.
"No, Delly is my best friend; more like my sister, in fact. We were born on the same day, and his mother and mine shared the same room in the maternity ward. I don't have a girlfriend."
I don't know why, but I have a sudden urge to run somewhere and escape his beautiful blue stare. But of course, I stay near him and try to act normal.
"I have to tell you something. At least I have to try to tell you."
I feel very tense, suddenly.
"Delly…she has a huge crush on your boyfriend."
"What?" I take a minute to try to understand what he just said. "What?" I repeat, like a parrot.
"Delly will kill me if she finds out that I told you about her crush." My brain is finally working again.
"Gale is not my boyfriend. He's my best friend. There's nothing between us." He stares at me so intensely that I feel the need to add, "I don't want a boyfriend." He frowns.
"Oh, you like girls?" he says with surprise in his voice.
My mouth is wide open.
"What? No, I prefer boys." What the hell? Shut up, Katniss!
"Why don't you want a boyfriend? Gale is very handsome..."
"I don't care about them being handsome." He is starting to annoy me.
"Do you prefer boys who are ugly?"
What the hell? He is driving me crazy right now.
"No! It's just that having a boyfriend is the road to marriage and children, and I don't want children. I don't want them to have miserable, horrible lives because of the Hunger Games."
I can't believe I said that. It took months for me to tell Gale and I just…
He is staring at me again.
"I understand what you mean about having children." He is serious, but suddenly, he looks at me with a funny face.
"What?"
"It's just, you are so serious about it… You need to warn the boys who have a crush on you that you don't date, or want a boyfriend, because you don't want him to marry you!"
"What? No!"
"That's exactly what you said! You said you don't want a boyfriend, because you don't want to marry and have children."
"Yes!"
He's laughing. He is making fun of me, and I don't understand why.
"You know, you can have a boyfriend and not end up marrying him." He's still laughing.
I glare at him.
"I'm just joking. You're so serious about everything. You should breathe sometimes. Just live in the moment more."
I'm so pissed at him right now. "You know what? I'm going to hunt, because I feel like I need to kill something right now. Enjoy your waterfall, and I'll enjoy hunting without an elephant following me."
I leave, but turn my head to watch him when he can no longer see me. I'm so furious with him. He looks sad and upset, and I feel a bit guilty. He was only joking with me…no! He was mocking me, and he deserves to feel bad for it.
The silence of the forest calms me down. When I think about Peeta Mellark, I'm confused. He talks a lot, and he is so different than Gale. I kill a rabbit and a squirrel. Then I start to feel hungry. It's probably noon, already, so I return to the waterfall. When I arrive, I'm welcomed with a smile.
"I didn't want to make fun of you. I'm sorry. How was the hunt?"
"I caught a rabbit and a squirrel. I forgive you."
"I'm hungry. Let's eat," he declares, and we both open our bags to get out our meals.
I have a piece of bread, goat cheese, and a bit of stew. I look at his lunch: he has a box with a large portion of overcooked rice and a slice of ham- and a piece of bread that doesn't look fresh at all. I'm a bit surprised that his lunch doesn't look very good.
He takes the bread and tears off a piece. I realise that I'm staring at him. He runs his hand through his hair and looks ashamed.
"You must think this is strange…we eat only the leftovers. If we eat the fresh bread, then we lose profits and have less to sell."
I understand. I just feel stupid and ignorant for always believing that he and his family had plenty of food on their table.
"But it tastes good! The bread, I mean." He smiles. Watching him eat it depresses me. Maybe I should give him some of my goat cheese? No! He made fun of me, and he didn't have to hunt for his food. Even if it's tasteless, he always has food.
However, he seems to have a large appetite. We finish our meal, and I remark aloud that I should have picked some berries for my dessert. I have nothing now.
He takes a huge blueberry muffin from his bag. "Not fresh. We didn't sell it yesterday, and I managed to get it before my brothers did," he tells me proudly.
I am furious with myself. If I had not been a spiteful cow and had shared a little bit of my stew or the goat cheese, I would have had the right to ask for my share in return.
He takes the muffin and breaks it in half. To my surprise, he hands me half of it.
"For you," he says with a wide smile.
"I don't want it. I don't have anything to trade for it." If only I had shared my goat cheese with him earlier.
"I don't care. I took it for you, too."
I feel crappy. I do not deserve his kindness.
"Keep it," I reply.
But Peeta Mellark can be stubborn, and he decides to put half of the muffin on my knees. "I won't eat it. This is your part of the muffin. Do what you want with it. You can give it to squirrels if you want, because this is yours. And you don't owe me anything. I just want to share it with you because it makes me happy."
His comment reminds me of the conversation we had at the beginning of week. I will not feed the squirrels, and I can't waste food.
"Thank you." I take a bite, and I don't regret it. It is delicious- the best muffin I've ever eaten.
"Do you like it?"
I nod.
He smiles tenderly at me. His smiles are real traps. It is really impossible to stay upset with Peeta long, when he smiles like that.
Once we are done, he returns to his sketches. To my surprise, his drawings are great.
"I'm not finished. It's going to take me a few hours. Do you mind?"
I shake my head. "No, I'll watch you, if that's okay with you."
"Of course. But I'm not very talkative when I paint."
"That's okay."
He goes to work, and it's fascinating to see how his large hands wield brushes with such lightness, skill, and detail on the paper. Especially when I consider how heavy he is on his feet.
Like he said, he doesn't speak, but I am amazed to see the waterfall come to life on the paper. The more he works, the more I'm impressed. He is not just gifted, he has a real talent. He is totally concentrated, too; I believe that nothing but his painting exists for him right now.
This is yet another side of Peeta I've never seen before. I'm torn between the desire to bring him back to reality and have him to notice that I'm here, or to let him be.
I start to yawn. My eyes are slowly closing, probably because of my lack of sleep last night.
When I open them, I feel rather comfortable. It's weird, because last time I checked, there were no pillows in the forest. That's when I realize that I have my head resting on Peeta's knees. How did I get there? I look up, and he has also fallen asleep. A strange feeling comes over me. I feel rested. I'm glad that he is sleeping. I don't want his blue eyes to catch me in such an embarrassing position. I rise very slowly and throw a glance to his sketchbook, which is placed next to him.
The waterfall he illustrated in black and white is a masterpiece. I can't imagine what he would be able to do with colors.
"Oh, I fell asleep?" I hear his voice.
"You finished the waterfall! It's splendid, Peeta."
"I think it has a few mistakes."
"You're much too modest."
"No, I'm still only a beginner. I still need to learn, but thank you. I've always wanted to paint a nature scene like this, and this place is really perfect. Thank you, Katniss."
I'm smiling at him. As soon as I realise it, I stop smiling. I shouldn't lose control like that.
"It's a shame that we live here. You could make a living as a painter if things weren't what they are."
I think back to my conversation with Gale. It saddens me.
"You're partly right, but I don't think we're doomed."
"You are so naïve!"
"No, I just don't want to resign myself. I can still try to make my dreams come true."
"And what are you going to do? You're going to attack the Capitol and change everything?" I'm mocking him a bit.
He shakes his head.
"No, Katniss, I'd go to harass the only person in District Twelve who has access to the Royal Decree of the Capitol galleries. Haymitch."
"The alcoholic Hunger Games victor? Good luck with that. Nobody can even go into his house without being scared away."
"Well, he's my only option, and it's not like I have anything better to do. I do need more practice in painting. But I don't want to think my life won't ever change, and..." he approaches me and whispers, "…and let them rule my life."
I'm in awe.
I think about Gale. He would be surely impressed to see that there is at least one person in District 12 who wants to take his future in his hands, even if it seems impossible. But something bothers me.
"Wouldn't you mind selling paintings to the Capitol? These people take advantage of us, live on our backs, and cheer for the Hunger Games."
He takes a few minutes to reflect on what I've said.
"I see what you mean. You know, the power of art is that you can use it to change people's thinking…to show them some truth."
"That's a dangerous game. The Capitol would kill you."
"No, not if the meaning isn't obvious. Or just enough for the smart people to notice, but without breaking the law. Who knows? You can never tell what's going to happen. A week ago, Effie called my name to go into the Hunger Games, and today, I am here with you. Who would have guessed?"
"No one." He has a point. Is it possible for us to have a different future? He seems to think it is.
Peeta is an incredible person. I think I've just found one of the only dreamers of District 12. But he has a realistic way of living out his dreams. Not like Gale and I, making pointless plans to escape, then infiltrate the Capitol to kill Snow.
Suddenly, I'm looking back at the dandelion that I picked up after meeting his eyes years ago. The hope I found. The opportunities that I hadn't thought about until this very moment.
Peeta Mellark...I don't know anyone who looks like him. It's true that I don't know very many people. But he seems so different.
"Where are you from?" I didn't say that out loud, did I?
"What?"
"Nothing. Your paint is dry."
"Yes."
"Well, we'll need to get started."
"This day went by so fast."
He's right. I haven't even noticed the time passing, and despite our argument, I've had a great day. We have to get home before sunset, though.
At one point, I try to teach him to walk more lightly. But it's pointless. I give up after half an hour. And then he tells me that tonight, he needs to make the icing for a birthday cake that the bakery will deliver tomorrow. He is happy, and he tells me what he will do. I listen more than I speak, but it goes well. Besides, he is so enthusiastic that I feel like I'm a part of his bakery team.
Eventually, it's time to go our separate ways.
"Well, this was an extraordinary day," Peeta says.
I think it's over; I've just paid my debt. I don't owe any more to Peeta Mellark. We will resume our separate lives. The idea makes me sad, but we have no reason to meet again.
"Yes."
We don't move, only stare at each other.
"Well, have fun with your frosting."
"I will."
We still don't move.
"I have to go. Prim must be waiting for me."
"Katniss."
"Yes?"
"I'll make a drawing of the birthday cake so that you can see the final result, okay?"
"Okay."
I become monosyllabic again.
"I'll put it in your locker."
"Perfect."
He slides a hand through his hair.
"If some day, you have another free day, don't hesitate. I would love to go back to the forest..."
To my surprise, he doesn't wait for my answer and leaves.
I suddenly feel empty, lonely, cold and I don't know why. I have to go back.
At home, my mother is warming the stew that I didn't want to share with Peeta. Prim comes to see me.
"How was the hunt?"
"Not very good. I only brought back a rabbit and a squirrel." I can still hear Peeta's loud footsteps in my head. Then I take a bath and I recall how Peeta plunged his head in the water.
It's all over now.
That night in bed, I can't sleep. It must be because of the nap I took. Then I remember that I slept on Peeta's lap. I toss and turn in my bed, annoyed because I can't find sleep.
But eventually, I fall asleep. The next day, I see Prim running everywhere.
I have to prepare myself to find Gale. This time, I am sure that I'll bring back more game than yesterday. Gale has steps of velvet. He won't be any trouble.
"What's going on, Prim? You look upset."
"I'm looking for dad's plant book."
"It's in our mother's drawer. Why?"
"I found some roots yesterday, and I want to check something." She goes up quickly and returns with the book. She turns the pages and seems to be really bored.
"So?"
"I don't know. Our father didn't draw very well. I do not know if these are the roots are not. This book needs to be updated. Some of the drawings are even fading by now."
Suddenly, a crazy idea comes to mind.
"I know someone who could help to fix the book, Prim."
"Really?"
I know, he would probably offer to do it for free, but I have an idea.
"I think we could negotiate this in exchange for a few berries and goat cheese."
He needs to eat some more fresh food. I'm not doing this because I want to see him. I am doing it because it helps both us and him. It's a win-win-win situation.
End of Chapter 4
I hope you liked that chapter more than chapter 3 . Only 3 reviewers ( A big thank to them ). I guess I failed with the previous chapter. I was a bit discouraged. I don't really know if I'll continue to work on this or not. It's a lot of work for me and My beta ( Futurefantasywriter thank you very much ). At least I didn't want to stop without one more chapter. Give it a chance.
So I hope you liked the chapter. Please review if you did. ^^
