Title: The Journal
Series: Stargate Atlantis
Theme: General/Romance/Mystery
Characters: Main Cast of SGA
Rating/Warning: PG-13/Mild Language
Summary: Many leave simple messages, gossip, jokes, songs and stories. But some leave their innermost secrets.
Links: devinem27 (dot) livejournal (dot) com
Journal Entries
Be it far from me to start a rumor, but I need to tell someone this before I burst. It seems that love is in the air in Atlantis. Yesterday I stumbled across……well, for the purposes of this story we'll just call them two prominent figures of this city, snuggling on the west…well, I won't say where either. But, I will say that he is hot and she's gorgeous. They make a lovely couple. I've always suspected something, but was never sure, but I'll be paying closer attention from now on.
Anywho, they weren't the only ones found spending quality time together. I guess everyone needs a little tender loving care, even wild men. I say no more.
I closing my mouth, but keeping my eyes wide open.
Hush
I miss home. There, I've said it. No one's dropped dead and as far as I can tell this world hasn't suddenly stopped spinning. I know that I should be content with what I have, and to a point I am. That I should focus on the here and now and think of my future. That I should stop looking to my past, but I can't help wondering, what if?
My career has given me numerous opportunities, benefiting both my professional and personal life. I've met some amazing people, a few who have become my closest friends. I've worked with Earth's best and brightest minds and have seen and done things that far exceeded my wildest imagination. For goodness sake, I live in Atlantis! I am living a dream. Every morning I wake up ready and willing to overcome whatever obstacles the day places in my path. I have nothing to complain about, but I do have one regret.
There's a sense of…not shame, or guilt, but unease that stays with me. I've told myself hundreds of times, 'You can't have everything' and for the most part I believe that, I do, but every once in a while a little voice from deep within me will ask, 'Why not?'. This inner turmoil tears at me. One moment I am content with my life and the next I am overwhelmed with the need to take that last step and finally say what I want. To say what would really make me happy. But now I fear that I've wasted so much time, so many opportunities, that it may be too late.
I'm going home and wouldn't you know it, I'm scared to death. The news just came to us and I've begun packing. I feel that this is happening for a reason. That this is my chance, I know it is. The timing is perfect and there are no excuses left that can hold me back. Turmoil still plagues me. One moment I'm angry to be leaving and the next I can't wait to go. It's time for me to finally speak from my heart. I'll miss Atlantis. I'll miss all of you, but it seems that unfinished business has called me home.
I wish you all success, good health and happiness.
Lonely in Atlantis
Riddle Answer: The Titanic
A Riddle:
- I am a protrusion that comes in many sizes.
- When I am not well, I drip.
- When you blow me, you fell better.
The answer? I'll tell you later. In the mean time…..
Clear Your Dirty Mind
How does one know when they're in love, really in love? Admiration, respect, trust, kinship, these are things that can be applied to all that we love. We show concern for their well being, we fight to protect them, sometimes we even give our lives to preserve theirs, but this can be said for all or most loved ones. How is 'love' and being 'in love' different?
Is it physical attraction? On this matter I have mixed feelings. I do believe that physical attraction is a requirement and yet even when combined with the usual characteristics of love, it doesn't necessarily equate to the feeling of being 'in love'. I've had loved ones that I found attractive and they reciprocated the feeling, but even then we both knew that what we felt was not the sense of being 'in love'. We loved, with a crush, but were never really interested in taking the relationship further. Which made me wonder, what else was missing?
I had, presumably, all the right ingredients and still was not 'in love'. Why or rather why not, I couldn't understand. I continued, for sometime, searching for the answer to my question, when suddenly it came to me. Or so I thought.
I fell in love with a very close friend. He gave me the support that I needed, when I needed it the most. He was familiar, comfortable and attractive and he made me feel wanted. It was impossible not to love this man, his gentleness and kindness nourished my soul, but after a while, I realized that something was still missing. Though I tried to push my doubts aside, they would not be held back.
I lost my love. He is gone in the physical sense, but remains in cherished memories. For a time after his death, I tried to convince myself that the feelings of love that I felt for him was the sensation of being 'in love'. I realize now, that lying to myself not only dishonors me, but him as well. I loved him, dearly, deeply, but I must confess that I was not 'in love'.
teal
