AAAAANNNNNND…..go!

Disclaimer: I don't own one piece. Do I hafta do this every chapter?

"Soooooo…you said a few days travel.

"Yup."

"As in, we will be there in a few days."

"Uh huh."

"Do you count a week as a few days?"

"Shut up, Vic."

They had been traveling for quite a while now, and Vic was getting frustrated. A port town in a few days indeed – they had been walking for about a week, and Vic couldn't even see the ocean, much less a port.

Vic couldn't really say what he thought of Iris yet. She was strong, no doubt about that, but she was also the most sarcastic person that he had ever met. She was constantly making fun of him, hardly the way a first mate should treat her captain. Not that he was going to bring that up again. Last time he tried, she didn't stop laughing for a whole ten minutes. Vic was, however, severely beginning to doubt her directional skills.

"If only I had my plane…" he said aloud.

"If you had your plane, we wouldn't have met." Iris responded. Vic chuckled.

"Yeah. I guess that's true." He looked ahead on the road, noticing something. "Hey, is that a sign?"

It certainly was, and it was a wonder that the two of them had not noticed it before. It was huge, like a billboard, and seemed to be made of obsidian, with a golden plaque. The plaque read, Welcome to Mollosalle, the Best Place to Live, in flowery, sweeping print.

"Someone has a lot of hometown pride." Iris commented dryly.

"It was kind of like that were I lived too." Vic responded. "Generally, 'best place to live' translates to 'small farming town.' So, why are we here and not in Fuchsia?"

"Hmmmm….It doesn't make sense…we should have been there days ago!" She sighed. "Well, at least we've reached civilization. Fuchsia is pretty important, these people should know were it is."

"If it exists."

"Oh, like you've never gotten bad directions."

"I've also gotten lost. This feels more like that."

"Shut up, Vic." Iris began to scan the horizon. "I think I see the town, it's about half a mile down the road." Vic sighed with relief.

"Good. A pirate should not have to do this much walking. Ah, what I wouldn't give for a throttle in my hand, soaring though the clouds…"

Iris rolled her eyes.


As Vic had predicted, Mollosalle was little more than a small collection of buildings surrounded by masses of farmland. It contained a few stores, an inn (Vic sighed with relief), and a small Navy outpost that looked like little more than a sheriff's office. There was, however, one rather large building, towering above the others. It was gray, built of stone and brick, covered in stained glass windows and topped with a huge spire. There were exactly six huge windows, each elaborately decorated, and the entryway was flanked by a pair of huge pillars.

And it was around this building that a large crowd was gathered.

"Kaazan." Mumbled Iris.

"Huh?"

"I'm going to check out that church. You wanna come?"

"I'm not very religious." Vic laughed. "You check it out. I'll get us situated at the inn." Iris nodded. They parted ways, and she walked toward the mob.

She sensed fear in the people as soon as she was among them. Their attention was directed at a man in the middle. He wore a black overcoat that covered his entire body, and wore a wide brimmed hat upon his head. His face was incredibly thin, as if he had not eaten in days, and gave the impression of a vulture, waiting to descend.

"An evil has descended among you!" he roared. "At this very moment, wickedness works it's way toward the virgin heart of this town! For in the night, while good folk slept, descended the Ancient Hag, who entered the houses of your sleeping children, whispering dark secrets in their ears! And some children, they did follow the Hag, and read from her Crawling Book over her shoulder, forever tainted by it's twisted sorceries!"

"And so I have come, sent by the will of Kaazan, sent to wield His sacred Fire against the vile witch! I am your salvation!"

The crowd cheered, a cheer that amounted to a plea for help, a cheer of desperation. Iris shook her head. People needed to stand on their own feet, and this man was simply holding them back. She walked toward the inn, frustrated.


Vic was greeted by an equally strange site upon entering the inn. A…man?...was speaking to a smaller crowd, a bottle clasped in his hand. His entire body was swathed in bandages, save for the areas were his eyes were and a few parts of his head, tufts of hair visible. He wore a long, brown overcoat, and had a hammer at his waist.

"People of Mollesalle!" he yelled. "have I got a deal for you! From what I've heard, there are some problems with witches in these parts!" A murmur of approval went through the crowd, and the strange man continued.

"Sure, witches are nasty business. They lay curses, call hexes, and who's gonna stop them?"

"The Inquisitor?" one man yelled. A few people in the room laughed. The man sneered a bit.

"Right you are, but what are you going to do until he finds her? Till then, she'll be free to curse you all to her hearts content. Or she would be…" the man then held forth the bottle in his hand. It was a golden colored liquid, with a fancy label featuring a stereotypical, green skinned witch running for the hills.

"Cause now, with the help of Krazy Kyoya's Kurse-Be-Gone, you'll never have to worry about witches again!"

"See, I, Toma Kyoya, was cursed once, by the Hag herself!" Toma proclaimed. The crowd gasped.

"Yup, I was cursed. Couldn't move couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. But with a single bottle of Krazy Kyoya's Kurse-Be-Gone, I'm almost totally cured? All that's left of the Hag's curse is some body scars, and if it can do that to her spells, what chance does any other witch have? And for only five hundred beli, this cure can be yours!"

The crowd cheered, filled with hope.

"And," Toma continued, "Since I am such a nice guy, today only, buy one, get one free!" The crowd cheered even louder, and began buying bottles of the magic potion.

Vic stared on in amazement. That was it? A man with no credibility said something, and no one doubted it? He grabbed a bottle from one of the people around him, oblivious to his protests. He opened the bottle, and smelled it.

About a minute later, he stood on a table.

"Toma!" He yelled. "This potion is ingenious!"

"Thank you!" The bandaged man said. "I created it while –

"I mean, how to you make a curse banishing tonic with ink and urine? That seems pretty hard."

The entire room went silent. Toma finally spoke.

"You must be mistaken…"

"I dunno. If it looks like urine and smells like urine, it is probably urine! Come on, are you people really gonna buy into what this zombie is selling?"

At that moment, everyone in the tavern began to scramble away. Toma had begun to smile an eerie, forced smile.

"Excuse me." He said, still smiling. "Did you just call me a zombie?"

"Yes, I –

"Kaazan Storm!"

Vic had not noticed the hammer extending. He had not noticed the man jump. He had not noticed the vein rippling on Toma's forehead. So, he got smashed in the face. He flew back, slamming into the wall.

"Say it again!" roared Toma. "I dare you to say it again!" So, I'm a zombie, a mummy, a giant assed Frankenstein Monster made of dead people!!?!"

"I….didn't say any of that." Vic mumbled a bit confused.

"You drove away my business and slandered my product. For this, I can forgive you. But you, guy, have crossed the line. You are gonna die!" Vic stood up, clearing his head.

"Little problem with that." Vic sneered. "See, I'm not the King of the Pirates yet. So for now, I can't die."

"I don't care if you're the divine forefather of the Celestial dragons!" Toma shouted. "My name is Toma Kyoya, fallen Paladin and templar of the Church of Kaazan, and I will show you what that means!!!"

"Sure." Said Vic."Come and get me, corpse boy."

With a war cry, Toma charged.

Yes I'm ending it here. I'm a bad man.

So, for right now, I am looking for villains. Feel free to submit anything, but that is my target. Peace out, y'all!