Update (20/10/2016): Chapter 4 now edited, enjoy it again or for the first time!
''What happened to me? Why can't I remember?'' Barry asked, looking directly at Caitlin, finally showing some emotions, looking for answers and help. Small tremors could be heard in his tone, instinctively pushing Caitlin to put a comforting hand on her friend's arm.
''Calm down, you're ok now. Deep breathes, Barry.'' Reassured Caitlin, closely watching her friend breathe deeply.
''You were taken that night, Barry, in the fire. We've been searching for you all over…you just fell off the face of the earth.'' Gently answered Iris, getting her eyes watery at the still way too fresh memories. Barry was closely listening to Iris' broken voice, while contemplating the young woman wipe the fresh tears on her face. It somehow made him fall into an almost hypnotized phase, before simply nodding and turning his attention back to Caitlin with a blank expression.
''Why...why can't I remember?'' The speedster asked, totally serene again now.
''Could be a numbers of reasons Barry, '' Continued Caitlin, trying to push aside the inexplicable, uncomfortable, feeling she had right now just by being in the room with her friend. ''Just let me do a few tests and I might-''
''No.'' No hesitation, harsh. That's how it was spoken, cutting off her sentence. For a fraction of a second, Caitlin could almost swear she saw sparks of electricity passing in his eyes, but she dismissed it; it was probably just the light.
''Barry.''
''No. I just wanna go home.'' The speedster said flatly.
Caitlin was taken back by this, Barry had always been a stubborn patient who wasn't so keen on sitting still and resting, but still, he never refused any treatment so harshly.
''Ok…Barry, ok. No tests, for now. But you need to stay here at least until tomorrow. You've been kidnapped, lost your memories and been in a coma for over a week. ''
''Not my first time in a coma.'' He stated.
Caitlin looked around for help but everyone looked just as puzzled as her about what to do. Iris decided to step it.
''Please, Barry, just one night and you can go home. Promise.''
''Alright…'' sighed Barry before sinking back on to the pillow, deciding on his own the conversation was over.
''We'll let you rest, bro.'' Finished Cisco before eyeing his friends and the exit. Iris glanced one more time, tenderly looking at Barry before leaving, closely follow by the team.
While Joe's daughter was moving away, Caitlin intentionally slowed down to let Iris get far enough so she wouldn't hear the question.
''Cisco, wait.'' She grabbed her friend's arm and stopped, waiting for the engineer to turn around, which he did, questions in his eyes, even while he still had a huge smile from ear to ear.
''Cisco, don't you think Barry's a bit, I don't know, strange to you? ''
''What do you mean? He's back, Caitlin! Everything's back to normal.'' Cisco was clearly overwhelmed by joy with his best friend back from the dead and while Caitlin hated to burst his bubble, she really needed to share her gut feelings.
''I mean, don't you think he was a bit too composed and cool about everything that he's been told? ''
Cisco frowned, his smile fading as he thought back about the conversation before shaking his head.
''Come on, Cait. You heard his voice when he asked what happened, he looked pretty shaken up to me. Give him a chance to process all that information, he's in shock right now.''
''Yeah...you're probably right.'' she said, smiling, even if it felt forced to her. There was something else, something wrong with Barry that she couldn't put her finger on just yet. She witnessed first hand the shock in Barry's eyes when he woke up after his first fight with Zoom and realized he was paralysed. The look she saw on his face wasn't shock, the over composure of her friend was unnerving and there was something about the look he gave her when she talked about testing him that she just couldn't shake off.
Seeing the talk was over, Cisco gently patted his friend on the shoulder and walk away in Iris' footsteps.
***FLASHFLASHFLASH***
Once everyone had left the lab , Caitlin sat next to the bed in the medical lab and tirelessly studied once more the results of the tests she conducted while the speedster was still in the coma, working in an almost complete silence, only broken up by the steady beeping of the monitors, trying not to disturb the speedster's sleep. She needed to find out what was wrong with Barry's memories. The doctor only paused in her work from time to time to take a look at the sleeping speedster, trying hard to not let her mind wander off.
Even if, from Barry's perspective, the time stood still, he seemed changed for some reason. Was that really just shock like Cisco said and she just had a way too wild imagination? *Yeah, Cisco was probably right. Come on Caitlin, Barry needs time to clear his mind*, it's all she told herself *Everything was going to be ok.* . Barry was back, alive and mostly healthy. The rest, they could deal with it.
All sense of time was lost until approaching footsteps prompted the doctor to swiftly turn around and jump on her feet in time to witness Joe walk in the lab. She threw one quick glance at the sleeping hero and left the room to go meet Barry's foster dad. She didn't notice the eyelids opening behind her and the green eyes looking at her every move as she left the room, the same eyes who closed just as swiftly when he felt Joe was about to look his way. Even with his eyes closed, Barry's ears stayed attentive to every word.
Before Caitlin could greet the man coming her way, Joe was already talking, his eyes moving quickly from Caitlin to his son and to Caitlin again, mixture of worried and relief all over his features.
''I'm sorry, I've been in a meeting all morning and my phone was dead. Iris just came at the station to tell me.'' He stopped mid-sentence to take another look at his son who hadn't move a single muscle in the last minute. ''How is he? Iris told me about...the problem.''
Only good news of the day: Caitlin wouldn't have to deliver the news, which was something.
''He's sleeping now. I was able to talk a little more with him after Cisco and Iris left, he's pretty coherent and calm. He remembers everything before the night he disappeared; including all of us, where he is and pretty much everything else about his life, which is the good part.''
Joe took another glance at his adoptive son before passing a hand on his head, slowly turning his mental state into a problem solving mode.
''Alright. That's a start. What's the bad part? Why can't he remember the last four months?''
Caitlin bit her lip before answering. ''Honestly, I'm not sure. With all the scans I took yesterday, I can't find any physical reason that would cause an amnesia like this. I would love to take more specific brain scans, but Barry is opposed to any more tests.''
''Why would he refuse? '' Frowned Joe. ''Isn't he worried that something is wrong? Should we be worried?''
''Since there's no head injuries or traumas, we don't have any reasons to get alarmed right now.'' Answered Caitlin, purposely avoiding the first question. ''Look, if it's not physical, it could very be psychological. '' She added, seeing the concern in Joe's face. ''There's some rare occurrence when people suffered through such traumatic events that caused their brain to basically shut out and block these incidents. It's possible his brain does remember everything, but it's blocking it from his conscious mind.''
''What could we do to unblock them?''
Caitlin shrugged, biting her lips. Of course she understood why Joe was so keen on Barry regaining the memories of these last four months; the detective badly needed revenge, or justice, either would suffice, for everything and the memories were his biggest chances to find Barry's captor.
''Joe, look, I understand how you feel and why you want to know more, but if Barry's mind is unconsciously cutting off the memories, it's probably for a good reason. For Barry's sake, it's probably better for them to stay buried.''
Joe's blood has been pumping harder in the last minutes, but at the wise words, he stopped himself and took a deep breath to clear his mind and calm himself. Of course the doctor was right, but could they really let someone go unpunished? He let Caitlin continued.
''Look, the only clues we have are where Barry was found, in Star City and we already have Oliver looking up there. Until he actually finds something or till Barry remembers anything, our place is with him''
Joe nodded, seeing reason, for his son.
''Alright, you're probably right. What's the plan now? ''
''Well, Barry badly wants to go home. I want to keep him here under observation tonight, but tomorrow morning you should come pick him up. Being back at home, with his family, might just be what he needs to readjust. Just don't push him. ''
Joe simply nodded again, his son needed him. Caitlin was right; Barry was his first priority.
***FLASHFLASHFLASH***
While Barry clearly did expressed his desire to go home and leave the labs, he kept his blank expression all the way home on this cold Saturday, staring outside the car window from his view on the passenger seat.
''So, Barry.'' Started Joe to break the silence. ''Talked to the captain yesterday, everyone at the station is thrilled that you're ok and you can take all the time you need before returning to work. I'm not working 'til Monday, but we can stop by the station if you want, to say hi to everyone.''
''Thanks, I'm good.'' answered Barry with a low tone, not bothering to turn around from his contemplation.
Unconsciously tightening his grip on the steering wheel, Joe looked up in the mirror to share a look with his daughter in the back seat who just shook her head. Not knowing what to do or say, they both felt of no use right now. Moments later, the car arrived in the West house's driveway, taking its place next to Wally's car.
''Look like dinner's here!'' joyfully tried Iris, failing to gain a smile from the hero who looked like he didn't even hear her.
There was no hurrying in getting out of the car for Barry, dragging his heavy feet into the house, where he instantly got greeted by Wally who turned around, standing next to the dinner table where he just finished putting plates on it.
''Barry!'' He exclaimed, smiling ear to ear to see the boy back. ''Welcome home! How are you?''
''Hi Wally.'' He said half-hearted.
''Dinner's ready.'' Said Wally, moving away to let Barry and the rest of his family entering behind the speedster see the open pizza boxes on the table. ''Pepperoni, olives and jalapeños.''
''Thanks, but I'm not hungry. Might just go lie down for a moment.'' Barry said before heading toward the stairs, leaving Wally standing still, unsure how to react.
''It's your favorite, Barr.'' Vainly tried Joe.
''I'm just tired.'' answered Barry, disappearing upstairs, not giving a second look or word to the people behind him.
''Did I say something wrong?'' Asked Wally pitifully .
''It's not you.'' Reassured Iris, touching her brother's arm. ''He's just...I'm not exactly sure.''
''Is he ok?'' Wally asked as both he and his sister turned to Joe who wished he could have the answer.
''I really don't know.'' He said, looking at the top of the stair where his son was one minute ago. ''He will be.''
There was nothing harder for a parent than seeing your children in pain, whether it was physical or psychological. Joe hoped having one of Barry's favorite meals would cheer him up, he wasn't sure where else to start. Hopefully, like Caitlin said, being home would help him get back on his feet. If only, if only he knew what exactly was wrong with his son, that could give him something to start with. Physically, he was fine according to Caitlin, but mentally?
''You think he's still grieving Henry?'' Suddenly added Iris, as if she was reading her father's mind. ''For him, time stood still for months, For Barry, he lost his dad last week.''
For the first time of the day, Joe smiled lightly. Yes, it could be this simple, right? It was hard to put themselves back into their set of mind of May, when they just had defeated Zoom. He wrapped his arm around his daughter to press her on his side, and gave her a kiss on her forehead.
''What would I do without you?''
''That's what I'm always wondering too.'' Iris joked.
A/N: Ahaha Guest, best comment ever! Your theories are great guys, let me tell you it's really hard to keep my mouth (or keyboard) shut and not share what's really happening just yet. Thanks for the support! Going to try and get the next chapter ready before the end of next week.
Don't be shy, share your thoughts, it's always deeply appreciated
