The morning after the night before always brought forward some difficulties.

It was incredibly well known that DiNozzo's could hold their liquor, even though it began to falter slightly with age – proved only last week when Cath had quite literally drunken him under the table. It was fairly obvious from the first five minutes that she had inherited that particular gene from their dad.

During his frat boy days, he could party till the early hours, practically drink himself unconscious sleep anywhere he fell - which usually ended up being some ones front garden – and then jump up the morning after ready for training looking as if he had spent the entire night asleep rather than causing chaos on the campus.

Nowadays he wasn't quite so wild. After damaging his knee and basketball career beyond repair he had blamed everything and everybody for it. He simply didn't know what to do with himself, basketball had been the only thing he had ever wanted to do the only thing he had ever been good at, it made sense to blame the world because when something meant that much to him it surely he was not the one at fault.

It wasn't until years later that he realised that his life style may have had something to do with it.

Sure he hadn't been unhealthy. He had always managed to maintain his weight and fitness. He didn't smoke or do drugs. But when he should have been working out and resting, he was out partying, partying and being unable to remember it in the morning. Who knew what strain he was putting on his body when he was too foolish to realise that it may have consequences.

Not so long ago his frat boy buddies had shown him a video they had found of him jumping off a shed roof trying to get into a pool. Needless to say he had missed the pool.

It was no wonder his knee had given out on him. In fact he was surprised it lasted as long as it had.

It was his fault that he had lost the only thing he had moderately given a damn about, and that was like a kick in the teeth. If only he had known that this pattern would continue well into his adult life.

After that particular realisation he decided things needed to change. And going out and not remembering the night before was most definitely one of those things, particularly when it came to waking up in bed with yet another woman whose name he couldn't remember if his life depended on it.

He never drunk to a point that he couldn't remember, so why were his recollection of last night's events so screwed up?

Surely half of the team hadn't shown up at his door last night looking for a place to stay because they couldn't get a cab.

He knew they had been out, but he must had imagined them actually showing up, the beer had been making him think about crazy things the entire night.

It wasn't the first time something like this had happened. He had woke up in the past having had such a vivid dream that it was difficult to distinguish between reality and his subconscious.

While his dreams had never been particularly sinister they were disturbing all the same. The ones that involved a very naked and very enthusiastic Ziva were bad enough – especially that one when Gibb's and McGee had showed up precisely at the climactic moment – but the dreams that were the most unsettling were where he dreamt of a future. A future of being married, with kids and a dog, the whole sha-bang, though it was who he was married too that caused the worst controversy. Because truthfully how can you look your partner in the eye when you know that only the night before you were imagining your lives together, the furniture in the house you shared, and the two kids a girl and a boy that you had created.

It was pretty deep stuff for a guy that had severe commitment issues. Or a guy people thought had commitment issues.

It wasn't until a few years ago that he began having nightmares.

Real nightmares, the type where you wake yourself up your shouting that much, the types where you wake up in a terrified sweat not knowing where you are, or anything that may contribute in stopping the frantic movement and terror in your eyes. All because this particular dream was so vivid you couldn't interpret what had actually happened and what had not.

It was pretty easy to guess what most of his nightmares were about.

Of course he had them about every member of the team, always being too late, always having to make the choice of saving one over the other, leaving and getting on that plane knowing things wouldn't end well and leaving without her. Of terrorists and desert cells, of Saleem losing patience before they had the chance to kill him, of watching her bleed out colour fading from her already pale skin, the light fading from her eyes as he sat bound to a chair and forced to watch.

He couldn't bear to imagine what it was like for her, or couldn't bear the thought of her, his hard ass ninja chick being that scared. It was crippling.

In that sense he was at least glad she had Ray – even if he wasn't there all that often - to assure her that she was safe, that she was home and would never be back there again.

How many times he got into his car in the middle of the night and drove to her apartment block just to make sure her car was still there, that her mat was outside the door he doesn't know.

He never went inside, just found something that symbolised her living existence that would tide him over till the morning when he would actually see her in the flesh. Pathetic he knew, but it stopped him going mad, stopped him from experiencing the blind panic he felt when he didn't know if they had been successful or not.

The nightmares were less frequent now; Cath had yet to experience or know about them, though he was sure if she continued staying over as much as she did that it wouldn't be long before she witnessed one.

Yes he had some slight issues with understanding the difference between real life and dreams but something tells him he wouldn't have thought up of this one on his own.

His memory was growing slightly less foggy though as the blanket of sleep shrugged off him, memories of McGee quite literally crashing through his door, the awkward moment of silence as the three of them spotted the blond woman sitting on his couch and of Cath introducing herself before Tony had the chance, though tactically not informing the team that they were in fact related.

In all honesty Tony wasn't sure how they hadn't seen it. Within their little threesome was two skilled investigators and a forensic scientist, even if they had had a little bit too much to drink, surely they saw how much he and Cath looked alike.

He himself was shocked when they first met, both of them working the operation Frankenstein case. He recognised that she was a pretty girl but he wasn't attracted to her in the slightest –that he was truly grateful for, though honestly he didn't go for the young and blond types anymore.

But something about her had instantly seemed off, not in the way he thought he couldn't trust her, but he felt like he already knew her, or had seen her face somewhere - which was close to impossible considering she never seemed to stay in one place for more than five minutes, never mind going for fancy meals and partying.

When he had introduced himself as Anthony DiNozzo, her eyes had been as wide as saucers as she sucked in a breath and desperately studied his face intentionally not meeting the green pupils of his own eyes.

She admitted later that she had been desperately doing the math of his age and her own age in her head, all while trying to keep her cool, which didn't exactly run as smoothly as she had hoped.

It turns out that after his own mother's death, Cath's mom had been one out of a long line of women who had been taken in by DiNozzo seniors charm as he tried to swallow his grief through the only way he knew how. One night stands and Booze.

After a certain business trip to LA, DiNozzo senior had left leaving a little bit more behind than just a broken deal.

He had been long gone before Julia Lashley discovered she was pregnant, but with only a name and knowing just how eager he had been to leave the morning after she had decided to not bother contacting him, deciding to raise her then only daughter on her own. She had went on to marry and have two more kids, giving Cath an amazing step dad , but Cath had always planned on finding her real dad. Not for a big mushy father daughter reunion like you see in the movies, but to quite readily inform him of the fact he had a daughter before proceeding to call him every name under the sun for getting her mom in that situation in the first place.

She had actually informed Tony of their relation before she contacted senior.

He really shouldn't have been so surprised, and he did still feel slightly guilty about the way he had recoiled the second she told him, particularly when she mentioned how nervous she had been.

He felt he had made up for it though as after he got over his initial shock he had gathered her in hug, and insisted that they tell their – that still felt so weird to say – dad together.

Cath had quizzed him endlessly about what to expect, and while he was glad that she wasn't looking for a beautiful relationship with the guy -Tony had been known about his entire life and he still didn't have that sort of relationship with him – something put him off being brutally honest with her about what senior was really like.

Call it the hopeless family man in him, but a small part of him still hoped that his dad would accept Cath, that he would appreciate the fact he had such a successful daughter as well as a son and be desperate to get to know her whilst begging for Tony's forgiveness and actually trying to mend his ways.

Needless to say it was nothing like that.

Senior had almost fell out of his chair when he it was announced that Cath was not Tony's girlfriend – it was actually a bit weird that everyone kept thinking that if he was honest – but was in fact his sister.

His face had turned a shade of purple that Tony had never even seen before, and for a moment he glanced at Cath wondering if the man was in fact choking on something. Then came the accusations.

So convinced that Cath wasn't his daughter and that she was making it up, he actually started to laugh, laughing to the point that tears were streaming down his face while the rest of the diners in the restaurant sat and stared with the same blank expression on their faces as Tony and Cath.

When he eventually stopped laughing, anger seemed to burst from every pore. If they thought he had been causing a scene before, it was nothing compared to this. Practically screaming in the faces of Cath and Tony, his denial of fathering either of them and that they were trying to steal his money was quite possibly the lowest he had ever sunk.

He had the right to be surprised, but to actually insult both of their mothers, his own late wife, was a completely new level of being an ass as Cath had so delicately put it later.

Tony didn't know how he felt about it only that his hatred for a father he had tried desperately to help over previous years had sky rocketed.

After Seniors furious rampage ran out of steam, he went to stomp out of the restaurant telling them they could pay the bill – not that he would have paid it anyways – but not before demanding a paternity test, though only from Cath – obviously remembering that he had been scrounging off Tony's health insurance for quite some time – to which Cath calmly replied "hope to hear from you soon, it's been nice meeting you" raising an eyebrow as she took a sip of her water. She most definitely had the whole smug bad ass thing down to perfection.

A few weeks later the results had came through. Tony knew he could have went to Abby for them, but he had really wanted to keep the whole thing on the down low, nothing like making it obvious that your dad was an arrogant twit like doing a paternity test in the NCIS lab. He may as well have hung a banner over the bull pen informing everyone.

Unsurprisingly the tests had in fact been positive. Even though he had never even met her his entire life, Tony was convinced that Cath was telling the truth and had no hidden agenda.

Not that he had expected it, but no apology or even an attempt to reconcile came from senior. Neither Tony nor Cath had seen him since that day in the restaurant.

It was a sad truth that their dad simply did not care, but it simply left the pair of them to build a relationship, to find out more about one another, and it worked out for the best anyway when Cath was asked to work yet another case in DC, though she decided to rent a place anyway she spent most of her time at Tony's and it didn't seem to concern her too much either. It was practically perfect.

It was almost perfect.

Even after settling into an easy going routine of juggling spending time with Cath and going to work, both of them having intense work commitments, Tony had felt like something was missing.

It wasn't until last night that he realised that that 'something' was in fact a someone.

Seeing Ziva in his apartment again, walking round with such a familiarity set off something in him that he had thought he had buried a long time ago.

It was typical that the most distinctive memory of the previous night was Ziva standing close to him, the smell of her, that hadn't changed in all the time he had knew her, filling his senses with a dizzying intensity, the spark between them flickering dangerously brighter as they invaded each other's personal space.

He hadn't been playing dumb when he had denied what Cath had suggested that she had been jealous. Suspicious yes, slightly hurt maybe, but jealous?

The more he thought about it though, the more his resolve faltered and the faster his heart rate beat, though it already felt as if it was bouncing around his chest cavity.

The look on her face when she had pulled away, the look he had struggled to name out of pure fear of what it could mean, he knew now with upmost certainty she had felt the spark too. And if she had felt it, then what did that mean for her relationship with C-I-Ray? But more importantly what did that mean for them?

Hearing talking coming from the kitchen he glanced over to the empty side of the bed, which had obviously been straightened out. If nothing else Cath was a perfectionist, though why she had to wake up so damn early he truly couldn't understand. The only other person he knew who was up that early was Ziva. The woman stuck to her morning routine like it was law, he didn't think he had ever heard her once say she had just lay in bed for the day simply because she wanted too. Though then again, he didn't know that much about her these days.

He wondered if she stayed in bed all day cuddling with Ray. Then again he really didn't want to know.

He turned over with a stifled groan burying his face in a pillow as his brain finally caught up. Of course it was Ziva in the kitchen with Cath at this time, who else would it be? The pair had obviously been awake sat drinking his coffee for hours now, no doubt discussing all the stupid things he had ever done.

He wondered if could make it along the ledge outside his window and onto the fire escape? Because in all honesty he did not have the energy to face the emotionally draining rollercoaster that was a conversation with Ziva David, he missed the times when things were easy.

Sighing he picked himself up and began rooting through his draws, he knew they had the morning off, but that still didn't meant he was making himself more vulnerable by strolling out in his sweats and t-shirt. The slightly small jeans that hugged his ass didn't exactly hurt either though.

It was time to face the aftermath of the night before. Though he realised as he sauntered into his bathroom, it wouldn't be long until he had to face an entirely different type of aftermath altogether. And who knew how that one would turn out.


Ziva had awoken earlier than she usually did.

She had tossed and turned for hours before she had finally drifted off into a restless sleep, made worse by the fact Abby continually kicked her through the night, sleeping in a coffin clearly did not teach an awareness of personal space.

Personal space, why the hell had she not thought of this last night when she was practically pressed up against Tony and only made a half hearted attempt to move away?

There was absolutely nothing 'friendly' about it, they both knew it, it was practically a live re-enactment of their younger days when they would try to see who would crack first. Who would give in to the temptation and grab the other by the collar, pinning them against the wall and relieving that god awful tension that was strung so tightly between them.

He had either been far too stubborn or simply downright stupid. Though what did that say about her?

So why had they let themselves be drawn in again? They had managed to fight it for so long, putting it down as a lost cause, something that was part of their past and would remain there as long as they wanted to keep each other in their lives. Because when they got too close bad things happened. Even after a few months of knowing each other that was obvious. When they got to close they were either nearly killed, or someone else took the hit.

When they had been separated she had been unable to think of anyone but him, why he wasn't calling, how he was dealing with Jenny's death. She was driven to distraction with 'what if's' and wondering when they would be reunited. It was only after she was injured undercover that she decided that it had to end, her feelings could exist, and if she couldn't get rid of them they had to be locked away in the depths of her mind, isolated from matter.

Yet in one night, in not even mere minutes, the jerk had barrelled head first, making an incredibly large hole in the wall that surrounded her heart, and she knew now it wasn't long before it started falling away in chunks.

She couldn't allow it. She cared for Ray sure, but he hadn't even made it within spitting distance of the wall. If he died, she can't deny that she would be upset; she had enjoyed their time together in the beginning and would always look back on it fondly and with a smile. But if Tony were to be killed, well she honestly thinks it would destroy her, she couldn't imagine a life without him there even when they didn't have a one in the first place. That was why she couldn't allow anything between them, because if she couldn't fathom a reason to carry on without him when they were just friends, then how could she possibly survive after letting herself be close to him in the most intimate way possible.

The man was a mind-fuck no doubt about that.

With a sudden craving for a very large mug of coffee, she pulled on some clothes which Cath had left out for her the night before – why did she have to be so nice? – pulled a comb she found in the bathroom through her hair and headed to the kitchen.

At one point in her life she probably would have been able to hear Cath stealthily moving her way around the kitchen, from the spare room down the hall, though that skill was clearly absent this morning as she walked through the door and nearly walked straight into a very fresh faced and cheery Cath.

"Hey, good morning Ziva" she was clearly very much a morning person if the way she beamed directly at her whilst pulling mugs from the cupboard was anything to go by "You want coffee?"

"That would be nice, thank you" she replied, knowing that the smile she returned didn't quite meet her eyes.

"Stupid question really, though I always found Tea works better for hangovers. Though if I'm honest you don't even look as if you were drinking last night, lucky thing" she added babbling slightly as she poured coffee into two mugs. "I'm afraid I can't say the same thing for your friend McGee over there though" pointing to the couch where McGee still lay sprawled, though thankfully he had not threw up again.

"I prefer Tea too, Coffee sometimes just seems a little easier sometimes" she said taking the mug from Cath's hand as they both leaned against the counters.

"Yeah I know what you mean, Tony actually had a few tea bags in a box when I first started coming over, but then he didn't buy anymore, I don't know why, think it's about time me and him took a trip to the grocery store." Ok so that had been a slight lie, Cath knew exactly why Tony had tea bags in his cupboard the reason was standing right in front of her. But Ziva didn't know that, and trying to analyse her reactions was just too tempting right now, it was for the greater good she convinced herself.

"I've never known Tony to drink it" Ziva shrugged, trying to maintain her poker face. They had been bought for her when she had demanded she went shopping with Tony, when time after time he didn't have anything in the fridge that she liked. The fact that Cath had used them, just made her feel irrationally angry for some reason, they were only tea bags for goodness sake. But it was the fact that Tony hadn't made a point of saying that they were hers, even though she supposed they were in his apartment, and he had paid for them, but still, would it have been that hard to just tell the woman?

Cath was staring at her now, watching her facial expressions intently, she had forgotten that she was a psychologist, and she knew from personal experiences with them that they were always looking for something to analyse, and if Cath was as good as Abby had said she was, then she probably already knew exactly what Ziva was thinking and was planning to tell Tony as soon her back was turned.

The idea of her partner's new girlfriend knowing about her feelings for said partner didn't exactly fill her with joy, but there were some things she needed to know. Things she knew for certain she wouldn't get from Tony.

"So how did you and Tony meet?" she asked, trying to be casual while taking a sip of her coffee.

"We were both working a case" Cath replied "They needed a psychologist to come in to work with some of the more disturbing sides of it" she added.

"The Frankenstein case" it was a statement rather than a question, even those who remained outsiders on that case knew that it had been particularly troubling. The only reason they had gotten involved in the first place was because Tony had been shot, had he not been wearing a vest he no doubt would have been dead. It wasn't something she liked thinking about; especially when she considered that he should have had at least some form of back up. At least Cath hadn't been assigned to that part, if she had than Ziva thinks she would have her on the floor, beating her senseless asking why she didn't protect him better.

"Yeah that's the one" Cath replied twirling a spoon around her coffee "I'm guessing you know EJ, huh?" not bothering to make her dislike hidden.

At that Ziva laughed, give the girl her credit, she had good taste in people "Yes I do have the pleasure of knowing her; she was around quite a bit last year".

"I swear, that woman is the most unlikeable, untrustworthy, shifty character I have ever met, the woman is nuts!" she said raising her hands to emphasise her frustration "And Tony, he was the worst around her, fell for everything she said, not in that way" she added seeing Ziva's eyes widen at the thought of Tony being in love with EJ. Considering she was supposed to be a trained assassin she was easy to read, though there was something about her, in her face that she couldn't quite get. "She would tell him things that were quite obviously lies, and he would always choose to believe her, time after time, always giving her the benefit of the doubt."

"Unfortunately that is Tony. He is so willing to give second chances, to allow himself to be hurt" she swallowed pushing back the memories of her throwing him to the ground, a pulling a gun on him, when he had only ever done anything to help her.

"Must be nice to be like that"

"Yeah" she replied softly, smiling more genuinely this time. As much as she hated it, Cath was very difficult to dislike, and it wasn't as if she was playing any mind games with her. Or maybe she was, either way, Ziva felt at ease around her, the kind of ease she only had with one other person.

"So do are you seeing anyone at the moment Ziva?" Cath enquired, taking another gulp of her coffee. "Just it's difficult to find someone who understands such intense work commitments, trust me I should know" she continued as Ziva's head shot up at the fairly personal question.

"Yes I do know, and I am seeing someone at the moment, Ray, though sadly his work commitments mean he is not here much" she replied nodding her head enthusiastically, though her heart just wasn't in it.

"Serious?" Cath asked pretending she hadn't noticed the way the light in Ziva's eyes faded when she had changed the subject from Tony.

"I believe so, though a lot needs to be talked about"

"So talk about it?"

"It's not as simple as that" for some reason Ziva had the feeling that they were no longer discussing her relationship with Ray, but something else entirely, which made no sense at all. Surely she was imagining it; any ordinary girlfriend would most definitely not be encouraging that type of talk. What had Tony told her?

"Look Ziva, I barely know you, but I have seen a lot of people like you, a lot of agents that are fearless but are scared of the world because of the job. You can't pretend like your past didn't happen, your past and the people in it make you who you are, and lead you to the person you're supposed to be with. And yes the world is an ugly place, a place full of hurt pain and death, but you can't run from it, and being with that one person that makes your eyes light up and your chest flutter, well that makes it slightly more beautiful" she paused for a moment, looking at the shell shocked expression on Ziva's face "Nothing is simple, nothing is easy, but that doesn't mean that you shouldn't fight for it, and settling for someone just because you're scared of getting hurt, well it's just stupid, because in the long term that is just going to hurt more."

Ziva couldn't form a coherent word, in the space of a minute, the girl had summarised everything she was scared of and why perfectly. But it hadn't lifted any weight in fact it had made her more terrified of what was to come and the inevitable decision she would have to make.

The air in the room had suddenly become a lot thicker.

She was about to open her mouth to try and laugh it off, when half of the problem came sauntering through the doors, running a hand through his hand through his hair, a habit he had had for all the time she had known him, even when his hair had began to recede slightly.

Not that that mattered to her of course. The man was insanely attractive. Incredibly tall and lean with those piercing eyes and chiselled jaw line. And his hands, god his hands, the number of fantasies that she had about them picking her up, making their way down her body, caressing her skin and travelling further to – damn she needed to stop this. The man had simply walked through the door and she was planning several different ways to peel him out of those jeans.

"Morning" Cath chirped rousing her from her thoughts "My god Tony, its nine in the morning and you're actually out of bed? Are you feeling alright?" she said as she poured coffee out for him the way he liked without even having to ask.

"Ha very funny, I will have you know I have a very strict exercise routine, that I follow every morning"

"Yeah I believe that. So how come I have never seen it?"

"Because I'm always back in bed before you even wake up"

Cath let out a very loud guffaw as she picked up her bag from the counter "Sure you are, might want to review that training schedule then, those pizzas certainly aren't being worked off." She laughed as she walked passed him to the doorway.

"You're mean, and you were the one who wanted pizza last night"

"I'm sorry" she grinned "You can choose what to have for dinner tonight, some sort of salad I presume?" she added as she leaned forward and pecked his cheek quickly from behind his shoulder. "Right I got to go, was nice meeting you Ziva" she waved from the doorway.

"You too, hopefully I will see you soon?"

"Of course, tell Abby and McGee I said bye too, not that McGee will remember me" the apartment was filled with her laugh once more before she the door slammed shut with a click.

In all the energy of Cath's departure Ziva had forgotten that this then left her and Tony alone in his kitchen. He turned round with an amused smile on his face before he moved to get something to eat from the fridge.

"You want anything?"

"I'm good Tony, thank you"

"You and Cath already been ransacking through my cupboards huh?"

"Only discussing the contents of them" she said trying to keep a straight face but laughed when she saw Tony's confused expression. "We were simply discussing the fact you have no tea"

"Really that's what girls talk about these days? It seemed a bit more exciting in my head" he replied dodging when Ziva threw a spoon at him "Hey, what was that for?" he laughed.

"For being a jerk"

"I don't really understand how I'm the jerk in this little scenario, the pair of you did take over my kitchen just now" his face straightened in what seemed to be contemplation "Anyways I did have tea, it was yours"

"Yeah, I heard Cath drank it" she replied, almost seething. She really needed to get some control on this jealousy thing about was 'hers'. First the movie night now tea, yes she was absolutely ridiculous.

"Well it's not as if you come round anymore is it?" out of all the answers she could have given, he had not expected that one, but he sure as hell wasn't going to let this conversation drop, it may just be catalyst for a conversation that had been brewing for quite some time now.

"You never invite me" she shot back.

"You both know that isn't true Ziva" he watched as she swallowed, clearly remembering the last time she had been invited over "and it's not as if you need an invite anyway".

"You know I can't Tony"

He knew that he was digging himself into a much deeper and painful hole hear but he honestly couldn't help himself "Why not? It's not as if Ray is ever around is it, and even then, we're friends, we have known each other for a long time Ziva, we've been through so much"

"That is the problem Tony" she whispered refusing to meet his eyes "We claim that we are friends, and on the surface that is true, but we tell each other nothing."

"Cath" he stated, the perfect example he could think of.

"Cath" she repeated not sure what else to say.

"What do you want to know?" he asked, not sure if he himself was yet ready to begin discussing feelings and the past while Abby and McHungover were sleeping in the next rooms. At least this would give her some answers, even if it meant he would look like the complete fool, explaining that she was in fact his sister. Knowing how explosive Ziva could be, this had to be handled incredibly delicately.

"She is very pretty" Ziva stated whilst twirling a lock of hair around her finger. Why did this have to be so hard, why couldn't they just talk things through and be done with it, like mature adults? But then she realised that the problem wasn't their lack of maturity but their excess amounts of it. They had both seen too much, suffered great tragedies and loss, that admitting weakness and fault simply did not come naturally to them.

"Yes she is" Tony agreed, trying desperately to think of a way to broach the subject.

Realising that she hadn't actually managed to ask Cath all the questions she would have liked, she decided to take advantage of the fact that Tony was being truthful and taking a deep breath asked "How long have you two been officially seeing each other?" Clearly news of the relationship had not reached EJ whilst they were working the case otherwise it would have been around the navy yard twice in this time.

"Yeah about that" Tony started but was cut off by the sound of Ziva's phone ringing, growing ever closer down the hall way, carried by a very rough looking Abby.

"Fancy answering this thing Ziva, it's been ringing none stop for fifteen minutes now, my head feels as if it's about to cave in" she said thrusting the device into Ziva's palm before staggering over to grab the pot of coffee.

Hoping to be able to just ignore the call before continuing her questioning of Tony, though slightly more subtle now Abby was in the room, she turned the phone over looking at the caller ID before pausing.

It had to be Ray, didn't it.