"Shane." Carmen purred contentedly as she felt a peck on her cheeks.

"Shane Shane Shane. Who is this Shane?"

Carmen realized that it wasn't her girlfriend that just pecked her. She had a nagging suspicion that it was her mother, and when she opened her eyes, lo and behold, her mother stared straight at her.

"Momma!" Carmen giggled and lifted up to hug her mother. She planted a firm kiss on the elder woman's cheek and rested her head in her mother's embrace.

"I am starting to think, you are making this Shane character up? What you think this is? TV show?" Carmen's mother, Mercedes scolded lightly, smiling at the display of affection that her daughter was showing.

Carmen didn't know what else to do but laugh uncomfortably. Shane didn't have the guts to meet her mother, but she couldn't tell her mother that. Shane could only remain as a well-kept secret for the moment.

"Shane's afraid to meet you, Momma…" Carmen giggled again.

"What. This Shane got three eyes? No nose? Ears that hanged to the knees." Mercedes lifted an amused brow.

Eager to change the subject, Carmen shrieked as she spied a little plastic container.

"What did you bring me Momma, I hope it is my fave…"

"Change the topic. Every time we talk about this Shane, you change the topic. Yes yes, I made your favorite Leche frita."

Carmen stuck out her tongue in glee and bounced lightly on her bed. She was glad for the distraction away from the subject of Shane.

Carmen secretly let out a sigh in relief. It wasn't the time to broach on this subject. She knew that her mother was anxious to meet Carmen's partner. But she also knew that her mother trusted her wholeheartedly, she could see how well her daughter had got on under the care of this particular Shane. Well, until this dreadful illness came up about anyway.

Mercedes busied herself with the custards while reporting about the going ons at home. Carmen sighed again and turned to her side sadly. She didn't want to lead her mother on. But at the moment, it was easier to just let them assume whatever they want. It wasn't as if they didn't have enough things to worry about.

"So anyway, your brother Ricardo is coming back from Japan tonight and coming straight here to do the blood test."

"That is nice of hermano… Where is Rodrigo?"

"That little sneak. He skipped school today to go roller-blading. So I grounded him for a week, and he has to study for his chemistry."

Carmen threw her head back and laughed at the antics of her little brother. She wasn't around to cover his arse anymore, and so the not so bright boy got caught.

"Don't think I don't know you have been covering for him."

"Aww, momma, I promise the next time I will report him straight to you."

"You better." Mercedes scolded.

Trying to change the subject again, Carmen picked up the fritas and bit into in.

"I love your fritas, momma." Carmen said in between bites. Truly, she had loved her mother's fritas, but now, she couldn't actually taste any of the sweetness. The bites she struggled to chew were bland and the oil stang at her mouth sores. The fritas could be bitter and Carmen wouldn't know. The effects of the pills had kicked in and she felt queasy from the smell of the fried treats. Not wanting to worry her mother though, Carmen pretended to savor the little delicacies and made all the right sounds she remembered that came along with it.

Just then, Nurse Jan came strolling in with her sister Anna and Carmen shrieked again in delight. Anna was her closest sister and had flown in from Yale, taking a break from school to take care of her. Carmen had insisted that she could take care of herself, saying that Shane would take good care of her, but Anna refused to budge. Touched as she may be, Carmen knew that the situation would be even more complicated now.

"Anna!" Carmen threw her arms out to hug her sister.

"How was the tests?" Mercedes asked in concern.

Anna just shrugged her mother off as she drew back from Carmen. "It was fine, a few needles here and there. The results would be out in a few days."

Anna had herself tested to see if she could be a potential bone marrow donor for Carmen. With tears dancing in her eyes. Carmen reached out to hug her sister again, asking if it hurt.

"What I want to know if you are better." Anna said thoughtfully.

Carmen waved the concern off, smiling at the concern that her sister was showing her. Tears choked up in her throat, threatening to make their way down, but she willed it away. Not wanting to add to the heavy hearts of her family.


Shane reached the set of the movie "Blinking" an hour early. After setting her things down in the makeup trailer, she stepped out into the sun for a smoke.

Making herself comfortable on the make-shift rest benches, Shane lighted her first cigarette of the day and whooped out her trusty novel, trying to immense herself into it. She could always count on Jenny's out of the world novels to take her mind off the grim reality that she was facing. Only in the books could she finally let her tired mind rest without fear or phobia working on overdrive.

It was so much easier to follow the stories of the protagonist that fought with the bad guy to triumph at the end of the day. "If only real life was as simple." Shane sighed again.

She wondered if she was the protagonist or the antagonist at the moment. Was she letting her girlfriend down by shutting her family out? Would Carmen feel better knowing that Shane loved her with all her heart? Is that enough?

Even though she was supposed to lose herself in the novel, Shane couldn't help but let her thoughts drift back to Carmen. Not a single page of the book was turned and she was already on her fourth stick of cigarette.

"You are smoking too much."

Shane jumped, dropping her cigarette and burning her finger in the process. She turned to find Alice setting herself down on the bench across the table.

"What the fuck. Al! what are you doing here?" Shane hollered in a low voice.

"I haven't seen you in a while, so I thought I would drop by since I was in the neighborhood." Alice shrugged.

"You work across the street, you are always in the neighborhood." Shane laughed. "How did you get in here?"

Alice shot a 'duh' look at Shane. "I am a reporter."

But Shane just continued staring at Alice blankly.

"I was doing an interview and so I have a visitor's pass, okay?" Alice explained as she would to a three year old.

Shane laughed again whole-heartedly. She stood up and crossed the table to pull Alice into a big hug. As Alice tried to pull away, Shane hanged on, needing a shoulder to lean on at the moment.

Alice immediately got the idea and stroked Shane's back. She understood that Shane was in tremendous pressure right now. The only places she ever went to were the studio and the hospital now. Shane definitely needed someone to take care of her while she took care of her girlfriend.

"How are you doing?" Alice asked softly as she continued stroking Shane's back.

Shane just mumbled something inaudible, closing her eyes and resting her heavy heart.

When at last Shane let go of Alice and they both sat down, Alice took a good long look at her friend and was shocked to see the dark eyebags and the visible weight loss.

"You haven't been eating?" Alice questioned.

Shane sighed and shook her head lightly, pulling out her pack of cigarettes to light another stick.

"And you haven't been sleeping."

Shane turned her head and looked at Alice with defeated eyes. She desperately needed to confide in someone right now. Though she could pull through everything else without ever bothering her friends with her problems, it seemed this time she couldn't take it anymore. Alice was one of the closest people to her, her own family, and probably one of the best person to understand herself.

"Al, I cannot stop thinking about how I have let Carmen down." Shane sighed.

"Huh? How have you let her down?" Alice was surprised that Shane was willing to open up to her, but she didn't know what to make of Shane's words.

"She wants me to meet her family. But… I can't." Shane dropped her eyes to her shoes as she took another drag of her cigarette.

"Why not?" Alice whispered encouragingly, edging Shane to go on.

"Because… Her family doesn't know… That…" Shane drifted off in her thoughts again.

"That you are a woman."