A/N: Sweet holy frick frack it has been forever. Like, crap, man, I'm so sorry. I've had this thing sitting in my documents for months and I just now finished it? If you're still even with me, you deserve an award for putting up with my crap but honestly? Work has been killing me. My job has gotten shittier than I seem to remember it and it's really draining... which isn't an excuse I know.
Um, here's chapter four. Next chapter will maybe be up soon? Hard to say, I'm in the middle of trying to start a new job and move soon... Once again, thank you so much for putting up with me.
Adara.
Chapter Four
"As of a few hours ago the First Order declared open war on the New Republic in an attack of terror that culminated in the instantaneous destruction of the Hosnian System."
A tall figure stood at the center of the holo-feed, unmasked and unadorned save for a white bandage across their shoulder as the call was broadcast.
"Five planets, and their respective populations were lost in the span of minutes by a supermassive weapon known as Starkiller Base in a show of malice that goes beyond even the actions of the old Empire. I fear this attack is only the beginning in a rapidly changing warzone by an organization that has surpassed separation and crossed over into tyranny. The Resistance is prepared to launch a counter-attack on Starkiller Base, however they are severely restricted in effectiveness by the size of their fleet."
The figure looked around the conference room, met the eyes of their Lieutenant and took a steadying breath at the answering nod.
"This is Void Commander reaching out to all active members of the Armada. I can not order you to join me in this fight, I will not; we are pirates, and you swore your loyalty to me to get away from the actions of politics and law. Even as pirates we can not abide these tyrants who command a weapon with the power of the stars at their beck and call. I am asking you to take a stand, to defend not only your own lives but the lives of every free-thinking, sentient being who does not want to live a life of fear. I am asking you to defend the rights of every sentient being who wants to be able to make their own decisions about their own lives."
"I cannot order you to lie down your lives with no promise of reward, but I can ask. I ask you to stand with me, to rebel and resist the First Order, to loan your ships and, yes, maybe even your lives to the effort to destroy this monstrous regime. Should you accept, contact the Command for the rendezvous coordinates. Should you decline… all I can ask is that you pray for your fellows. Void out."
There was a pause as the message was transmitted, the call broadcast across encrypted channels until it reached the right ships. The conference room was bathed in a haze of red before, one by one, the communication channels began to stutter and flash in green.
The Resistance base was in an uproar as the X-wings landed with not only the famous Millennium Falcon in tow, but also the infamous Void Command as well. Technicians and droids swarmed the docking ships in a hurry to assess damages and get the birds ready for the next attack. It seemed that everybody had something to do, some mission to accomplish, save for the two men—and one droid—standing off to the side of Black One.
"Poe!" Finn let his hand slide down the pilot's arm, the sensation of vibrant orange flight suit more tangible proof of Poe's existence than the sight of the man. "Poe I need your help."
They had to go back and get Rey; Finn understood the importance of destroying Starkiller, of finding Luke Skywalker and defeating Kylo Ren. He did. It was all very good and important, sure, but not as important to him as saving his friend was. He couldn't leave Rey at the mercy of the Order, not after already seeing—living—what they did to people. Not after what they'd done to Poe.
Poe, who was looking at him so attentively, his hand gripping Finn's shoulder in a touch that was warm and comforting. "What do you need?"
"My friend, Rey, she was captured by Kylo Ren. I have to get to her, have to convince the General to let me get to her." The ex-stormtrooper explained, the urgency obvious in his voice.
"Yeah buddy." Poe nodded. "We'll go talk to the General right—"
"Poe?" Finn frowned at the way the pilot cut off, eyes wide as they focused on something behind him.
"I'm—" Poe pulled away distractedly. "Sorry Finn. Hang on one second and we'll get you to the General."
"...okay? Is something wrong?" But the pilot didn't answer, taking a few steps towards… Finn turned around to see the source of Poe's distraction, reflexively taking a step back when he saw Void storming towards them.
No, not them; the pirate was heading straight for Poe and she looked furious. Furious was, perhaps, an understatement in light of the expression on the woman's face, severe enough to send the other pilots and techs scattering out of her way. Finn wondered if he should step between them, should try and save the pilot, but he was reminded of the woman's reaction back on Takodana. Void had been visibly upset when she'd thought Poe had died, so she should be happy to see that he was alive, right?
"Poe Dameron," The woman snarled, jabbing a finger in his direction, "You have got to be the most arrogant, reckless, idiotic and absolute worst pilot I have ever seen in my entire life! You are a terrible spy, an awful person, and your hair is dumb!"
Finn gaped at that, at the slight smile on the pilot's face as he watched her approach. "Is that right? Going easy on me are you?"
"Easy? You can't cook, you obnoxious, self absorbed pfassking sack of bantha shit and—" With a smooth jerk Void ripped the helmet off her head and tossed it to the ground before launching herself into Poe's arms. "—I thought you were dead! I hate you, you had me worried sick you bastard!"
Poe choked out a laugh as he gathered the woman into a tight hug, face pressing into her shoulder, and Finn was shocked to realize that they looked almost like clones of one another. It was a happy reunion in spite of the rocky beginning and after a few long minutes the two pulled apart. Poe kept a hold on the woman, arm slung around her shoulders as he steered her towards where Finn was waiting, the confusion still evident on his face.
"Finn, buddy," The pilot grinned, "This is my twin sister Nia."
"We've already met." The ex-Stormtrooper offered on instinct as his dark eyes dropped to her shoulder. "How's it feeling?"
Void-Nia-shrugged absently at the question with less than a passing glance. "Nothing a little bacta and some whiskey can't fix."
It made Finn wonder how many times she'd been shot in the past to be so unconcerned with the injury. There was an open ease to the woman that he hadn't seen before, though the few hours that Finn had known her wasn't nearly enough to speak for her typical body language. Still he wanted to believe that the relief and comfort had something to do with Poe's presence beside her; Finn was certainly in a much better mood to know the pilot had survived the crash on Jakku.
"The General is waiting for us in the briefing room, wherever that is." Nia was looking at her twin, arms crossed over her chest as her head tilted ever so slightly in response to a technician that passed by marginally closer than the others. "It's time to plan the assault on Starkiller."
"We've got to get to Rey." Finn remembered his earlier urgency, reaching out on instinct to grab Poe's arm.
The pilot nodded, looking between the two of them and then glancing towards a squat building to the left of them. "Right. Alright, we'd better get going then. C'mon follow me and-don't forget your helmet."
"Don't leave home without it." With a smooth motion the pirate leaned down and scooped up the discarded helmet as they moved together, shoving it onto her head. "Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is when I'm not wearing this thing? It feels like I'm naked."
Finn, as someone who had spent most of his life, could commiserate while simultaneously feeling nauseated by the prospect of wearing another helmet. He still couldn't shake the nagging sensation that everything was wrong; that he should be wearing his armor, his helmet, that he was just a number and he shouldn't let his face be seen. The Stormtroopers were meant to be interchangeable, disposable, just faceless bodies that served to pull the trigger and accomplish any and all tasks for the First Order. He felt naked without his helmet, he felt like everyone was staring at him-judging him-and it was both terrifying and exhilarating.
He wasn't just a number anymore. FN-2187 was gone and he was Finn now, Finn who owned a jacket and a name both given to him by Poe. Finn, who had lost his best friend in the world and was now going to get her back, no matter what it took. Not that he said any of that. Hell, Finn wasn't sure there would be a way for him to vocalize everything that he was feeling and, either way, it was a throwaway comment in a private conversation between the twins.
"You're not going to get any sympathy from me." Poe told her matter-of-factly, "I always said you looked better without the damn thing."
"He says that," Nia tossed a look over at Finn, a grin curling her lips. "Because we look identical."
Which was something that completely baffled him. He knew what twins were, there were two in his early training block, a set of sisters that he could still remember. They looked similar, but not to the point of Nia and Poe. Even with the few minutes that the pirate was unmasked Finn had been struck by the fact that they were nearly the same. Poe was just a few inches shorter, his eyes shades darker, and he didn't have the freckles. Or the scar.
"That's a lie. You're much better looking than me." The pilot chuckled, his own smile softening when his sister gripped his arm. "Don't pull of that shade of red quite as well though."
"Get real laserbrain." Poe managed to startle a laugh out of Nia, Finn's lips twitching as he listened in amusement to their conversation. It wasn't so different in the First Order; the Stormtroopers had their own inside jokes, as surprising as it might seem. The only difference in this is that for the first time Finn felt included. Even if he wasn't expected to offer any sort of input they were still acknowledging his presence which was a novel sensation.
The three sobered as they approached the squat complex, Poe shoving himself in front as he waved away different officers and they entered the building. It was dank and cool, the stone lit with installed lighting and overgrown with trailing vines that twined around support pillars all the way to the ceiling. The admiralty board was deep in conversation, arguing with themselves about their course of action and nobody looked up as Poe led them straight to…
Well.
She was easily one of the smallest women Finn had ever seen in his life, wearing a simple jumpsuit with her silvery streaked hair braided elegantly. Her features looked tired, eyes that had seen too much hardship, and yet there was a determined set to her jaw as she spoke with one of the admirals. Ben was standing not too far behind her beside a man that could only be his father if the matching scowls were anything to go by.
"General Organa. Sorry to interrupt, but this is Finn and he needs to talk to you—" Poe began, drawing the shorter woman's attention.
Finn stiffened in surprise and a little bit of awe as she reached out to grab his hand, her eyes oh so gentle despite the iron will behind them. "And I need to talk to him; that was incredibly brave what you did. Renouncing the First Order, saving this man's life—"
"Thank you ma'am—" Phasma would have flayed him alive if he'd ever thought of interrupting her, and Finn would never even imagine trying it with Hux. "But a friend of mine was taken prisoner—"
"Rey." Something pained flashed across General Organa's features, old and haunted, and Finn noticed the responding flinch as Nia dropped her attention to the ground. "Yes. I'm sorry about what happened and rest assured we will do everything we can to get her back, but first you must tell us everything about the Starkiller base."
The General turned to look at Nia, her features hardening into a familiar stern mask. "How many of your people have you been able to contact?"
"Of the ones near enough to offer assistance, all of them have offered their services." An edge of pride lined Nia's voice as she forced herself to look up. "I have twenty seven ships ready for further orders ma'am."
"Twenty seven?" The admiral repeated in astonishment. "Are their ships outfitted like yours?"
"The Command is a unique ship, Admiral." Nia snorted. "There isn't anything outfitted like her. But my fleet can take a TIE in a dogfight any day."
Leia nodded briskly at that, lips pressed together. "Temmin Wexley is on his way with the reconnaissance report; we need to start drawing up a genuine plan of attack."
"The sooner we get rid of that thing the better." Ben cut a look to Finn, his expression bitterly amused. "Hope you've got some good news for us Big Deal."
"I've got something for you, if you want it." Nia broke off her conversation with Sasha at Poe's interruption, turning from her Lieutenant as her brother approached the Command.
"Is it those three hundred credits from where you bet against me in the last Cage?" Poe faltered at that, brows pinching together briefly as he considered her words.
Sasha on the other hand scoffed, checking the charge on her blaster as her eyes lifted to the pair of them. "He only owes you three hundred? That must be nice; I make one bet against you and I owe you twice as much."
"I'm the favorite though." Poe replied good-naturedly. "But not what I mean. Come here."
Nia allowed herself to be pulled away from the ship with a parting wave to Sasha. The cyborg grunted in response to the gesture, no longer paying them any mind as she returned to making sure that the ship was prepped for launch and battle. Poe led her down a long line of X-wings, all painted white with detailing in shades of red, blue, green and brown. The pilots nodded in greeting to their Commander, the respect obvious in their gazes as Poe passed them and Nia dismissed the swell of pride as she realized just how well respected her twin was. It was a good thing; they should respect her brother considering the fact that he was the best pilot in the damn galaxy.
"So what is this?" She asked curiously as they neared the end of the ships. "Because if you have something sappy and sentimental to say to me I don't want to hear it Poe."
"Shut up and take a look at this." He placed one hand on her back, between her shoulderblades as he used the other to gesture to the X-wing in front of them.
"What am I-oh." Nia tilted her head up to take in the entirety of the ship, jaw dropping slightly as her eyes hungrily devoured the sleek lines of the X-wing. "She's gorgeous."
Poe watched his sister out of the quarter of his eye, lips lifting at the giddy way she lifted her fingers as though to touch it. Nia had been born with the same obsession with X-wings as him, and Poe often wondered what might have been different if she'd been given the same chance at her future as he had. Would Nia have joined the Republic navy with him? Poe liked to imagine so; they'd had dreams of defending the Republic together, ardent supporters of democracy and freedom and the right to choose and they'd been as far as looking at applications when the Academy fell.
"Yep." Poe couldn't help the goofy smile on his face at his twin's excitement. "She's yours if you want her."
Nia turned when he set a hand on her shoulder, her brows drawing together in confusion. "What are you talking about? I'm piloting the Command."
"Yeah, but we both know your crew can manage without you Nia. I need you out here, on my six. You know there's no one I'd rather have at my back in a dog fight." It wasn't that Poe didn't trust his pilots; he had one of the best teams there was but he wanted his sister with him.
BB-8 let out a small trill, rolling forward to bump into the backs of her legs before chattering in agreement.
"You're ganging up on me too?" Even with the annoyance in her words her eyes slid back to the X-wing.
It looked a little beat up and she wondered at it's last pilot but… well, she would be a liar if she said the offer wasn't tempting. There were implications to it though; a pirate helming a Resistance fighter was one hell of a message to send. She wasn't concerned with the Order knowing who she threw her lot in with-with a select few exceptions she attacked with prejudice-but the rest of the pirates? It would be a bold move to say the least, one that could potentially weaken her reputation.
This battle was, without a doubt, one of the most dangerous ones that the Resistance had ever engaged in and she had already lost her brother once. In that X-wing Nia stood a better chance of watching his back, and that small fact in of itself was what made up her mind. There wasn't a damn thing she wouldn't do to protect Poe.
"Alright hermano, I'll fly with you." She decided, lifting a finger to jab at the air in front of him. "But. Only this once and-aw kriff you're gonna want me in one of those ugly orange flight suits aren't you?"
She did kind of hate her brother's dumb, smug, face. "Safety is our highest priority."
"Kriff off." Still, she was anxious to get her hands on a T-85. "Is there a rest of Gold Squadron?"
"Just one. A Thrysian named Nico. I'll introduce you if you'd like?" His smile was practically sunshine.
"You may as well, if I'm going to be flying with them." He let out a whoop of victory then, grabbing her by the arm and dragging. "Easy there hotshot!"
"We've gotta prep for launch." Poe waved down a few technicians that were standing around and looking considerably out of something to do. "Go ahead and give Gold One a scrub down, we're taking her out."
"Yes sir!" Nia quirked an eyebrow at the salute, catching her brother's eye.
"Don't you start with me."
"Yes sir, Commander Dameron sir." She laughed as she followed him and BB-8 to one of the equipment lockers on the tarmac. "Looks like you've moved up in the world."
BB-8 beeped a confirmation, and Nia took a step out of the way as her brother dug through some spare flight suits. The droid noticed her distasteful grimace and let out a noise of mild offense and distress that had her shaking her head.
"No sweetheart, you look good in orange. I, however, do not." The pirate assured the droid, prompting a cheerful jingle. "This thing is ugly though."
"No sass out of you, Gold Leader." Poe tossed her a suit, catching the helmet as it was handed over. "I do appreciate this by the way."
The raven didn't answer at first as she fiddled with the strappings of her own external body armor, pulling at the fasteners. The practical purposes of the armor aside, there was a metaphorical significance to shedding her armor here at the base on D'Qar. There was a time-that time was yesterday-that she would have killed anyone who had tried to unmask her, would have taken her birth name to her grave, and was content with the fact that only two people in the entire galaxy knew that Nia Dameron was alive. And yet, here she was about to broadcast her identity to everyone and their uncle. For the most part it wasn't a huge deal; nobody really cared who Nia Dameron was and in comparison to some of the things she'd endured this was low on the list.
Ben knew though, so did Leia and Han and Chewbacca and everybody else she had grown up with. There was something freeing about that, and there was something that made her sick to her stomach at the same time.
"Besides," Poe grinned crookedly. "Technically I outrank you on this mission."
"The hell you do, little brother!" She yelped. "I'm a Captain-technically I'm a queen!"
"Sure you're a pirate queen, and that would be really impressive if we were out in the Rim, but it doesn't really translate into Resistance Chain of Command…" Poe caught the inner jumpsuit that was tossed at his head, folding it. "Plus I'm older."
"You can take those thirty six minutes and shove them right up your—"
"Dameron, are you in here? I thought I heard your—" THe twins froze at the arrival of the new pilot, a younger looking girl with long black hair and a distinct blush on her face as she took in Nia's half-clothed state. "I-um, hello. Didn't know you had company, Poe."
And holy hells she was cute.
"He doesn't, but I wouldn't mind being your company." Nia purred, sliding her arms into the sleeves. "Now, which Dameron are you looking for darling?"
She couldn't help but wink at the flustered woman while BB-8 shifted their optical sensor curiously between the two. The pilot blinked once, twice, before giving herself a slight shake as her eyes lit up. "Well I was looking for Poe, but that was before I realized I had options. I'm Jess Pava, to whom do I have the distinct pleasure?"
"V-Nia." It was a little odd, giving her birth name out to a complete stranger, but she supposed there was no need for the secrecy here in the Resistance. "Y'know Jess, I used to think these flight suits were the ugliest things until you came in wearing one. I bet they'd look even better on my bedroom floor though."
"Hey! Hey, no. Not-uh." Poe slid between the two women waving his hands and glaring at his sister. "Nia stop trying to seduce my pilots. Testor, what do you want?"
With a pout she zipped the uniform and muttered "Kill joy."
"Saw they were working on Goldfinch." Jess shrugged by way of explanation. "Guess now I know why. Also thought I'd give you a warning; Solo's finished loading the Falcon-which holy kriff-and we've got a fleet of pirate ships? When the hell did that happen?"
"Technically not the entire fleet." The suit was a little tight in her shoulders and hips, the sleeves shorter than she'd like, but it fit well enough. "Most of them are too far out to be of any help. Speaking of which…" She brought up her comm. "Hey Sash? I'm going to hop into one of these X-wings-yeah he roped me into it I know-I'm putting you at the helm of the Command."
Jess shot her an astounded look, and Nia blew her a kiss. "If you crash my ship I will kill you. Actually, if that's your attitude maybe I should put Ki'dara in charge? No? Okay that's what I thought."
"Go kriff yourself, you sack of bantha shit." Sasha snapped back good-naturedly. "I hope you get shot down."
"Even if I do you're still not getting my stuff! Love you!" Poe was watching her expectantly, and Jess… well she was pretty sure the girl was going to swallow some bugs if she didn't close her mouth soon. "Crew's good. I'm going to go find, um what did you call it? Goldfinch? That's a cute name. But yeah, I'll go find Goldfinch and get myself acquainted."
"You do that. See if you can find Nico and introduce yourself too. You'll notice them by the green hair." She waved her brother off as she left the supply locker, leaving Jess with a much more sincere farewell, and stepped out into the sun.
The way the flight suit caught the light was enough to make Nia crince and instinctively reach for the chain around her neck. She didn't go so far as to pull out the pendant, but it did succeed in calming her nerves if only a little bit. It was hard not to feel like a target, especially while wearing neon orange, hard not to feel like she was being watched, and oh how she longed for the comfort of her gear. There was a safety to it, the anonymity of being masked and being Void. The sense of safety in being a complete unknown that had driven her to the callsign, that had allowed her to take Nia Dameron, her ghosts and her demons, and lock them away. To shove them into that empty space in her mind and forget… if only for a little while. Where as now she felt raw, on display, and she hated it.
Hence why she had taken so long to actually come to the Resistance.
Hell, Nia still wouldn't be here if it weren't for Kylo Ren taking Rey. But… she cared about the kid, had given up too much to keep Rey safe and Nia would be damned if she wasn't going to do anything to get the scavenger back. She arrived at the ship with minimal issue and, minus one very confused technician, it seemed as if the X-wing was ready for launch.
"So, you're the new Gold Leader?" Nia twitched at that question, dropping back to the ground from the first step of the ladder as her eyes sought the source.
The Thrysian was flicking through the log report for Gold One, brows pulled together. "And you're a pirate?"
She relaxed, noting the green hair and assuming that this had to be Nico. "Temporarily, yeah. My career choice isn't going to be a problem is it?"
Nico straightened and took a step forward, shrugging their slim shoulders as they tried to mask the aggression in their frame. Instinctively Nia shifted to the balls of her feet, sizing up the approaching alien and scanning for weaknesses. Instinct beaten into her from early years of Cage fighting, by the time the slender pilot was a few feet away Nia was prepared to put them down in three moves or less. But aggression didn't necessarily mean violence, and while they were angry, they didn't look like they wanted to fight her.
"I'm Nico, I'll be your Gold Two. I saw what you came in on, you think you can fly one of these things?" They asked.
"My last X-wing was a T-70, but yeah." Nia relaxed slowly, accepting the proffered hand. "Hear these ones handle easier. I'm Nia."
"Engine thrust will sneak up on ya if you ain't careful, but with the beauty you came in on? It shouldn't be a problem."
"You a fan?" Tension loosening, smile almost reaching the eyes, Nia felt slightly more at ease with the Thyrsian as she realized that the posture was a response to the upcoming battle.
They huffed out a laugh at the question, passing over the data pad. "Everything looks good, right plasma trigger's a little sticky though." When they leaned in, she caught the faint scent of amber and black currant and kriff if that wasn't a good smell. "Fan is an understatement; I was close to signing on with your crew before the Resistance recruited me."
Nia needed to have a conversation with her brother about all of the attractive pilots, because they were apparently everywhere on D'Qar.
"I'm willing to bet we have a better retirement plan." Considering that for the most part she didn't send her men to go destroy large planet-exploding superweapons, she felt it was a pretty safe bet.
There was an easy sort of camaraderie between her and Gold Two now that she was certain that they weren't going to fight. "Oh yeah. Better pay as well, but… I have few regrets joining up here."
"That's where I run into trouble;lots of regrets as a pirate-too much alcohol oft leads to poor life choices." She confessed, a swear ripping out of her mouth when the comm went off suddenly and made her jump. "Damn thing. I guess we're about to get into position."
"Yeah, well, you've got company incoming." Nico jerked their chin to where Ben was approaching, attention focused entirely on her.
She swallowed the slight flutter that crawled up her throat, because damn he looked good and, damn, he looked like a man on a mission. "How do you know he's coming to see me?"
"Sister," The pilot smirked, "I'm not lucky enough to have Ben Solo looking at me like that. I'll make myself scarce and give you two a bit of privacy."
Please don't. Nia almost wanted the pilot to stay, if only for the buffer of having another person around to keep Ben from saying anything emotionally compromising. She'd rather save the heartfelt conversation-say for never. Not that that would stop Ben; the two of them were complicated enough and this was only going to make it worse. And Nia didn't do complicated, though the current situation would call her a hypocrite… okay, she tried not to do complicated. Stars knew how hard she tried to avoid the smuggler the first time she saw him; on the run from the Hutts, just like his father. She should have walked away, let him handle his own problems, she'd tried but…
But he was Ben and she was Nia and they'd always been something to each other.
"Heard you're all ready to go." She called in greeting, trying to forestall the inevitable. "Got some sort of hair-brained scheme to get Starkiller's defenses lowered?"
"Shut up." Nia lifted a brow in surprise at the order.
Surprise that quickly turned into annoyance. "Excuse me? That's rather juvenile of you, don't you—"
"Shut." Without breaking stride Ben grabbed her arms, careful of the bandaged shoulder. "Up."
There was a tightness in his voice, tension in his frame that Nia didn't want to argue with. So she waited, heart lodged firmly in her throat as his dark eyes traced over the features of her face. Features that he hadn't truly seen in almost sixteen years. And that was the thing; sixteen years was a long time to go without seeing someone, thinking that they were dead only to have them come back two in one day. There was a part of him that was angry, so utterly furious at Nia for not only hiding the truth about Rey but also about herself. It would be one thing if they just passed through each other's circles, friendly but ultimately distant, but they didn't. They were there, they had fought, bled, and slept together regularly. They were… something more than acquaintances.
As much as Void had insisted that it meant nothing, they both knew it was a lie. Especially now, now that he knew who she was, why she felt so familiar.
His palms scraped over the itchy material of her flight suit and Ben couldn't help but stare. "It's you."
He never would have guessed that Nia was the one hiding beneath that helmet. She was the one who made him laugh, made him so angry he couldn't see straight, made him fall apart exclusively to have her put him back together.
"It's kinda not actually, at least not in the way you're thinking." She had more freckles than he remembered, and she'd never worn her hair this short, but Chaos help him it was her and she was beautiful. "That's… I'm not really her anymore. I'm more Void than anything else."
"Nia, that's not—" He opened his mouth just to have her speak over him.
"I'm still a pirate, still a criminal with an inability to emotionally open up with anyone, this actually doesn't change anything at all, Ben. Nia Dameron, the girl you knew, was soft and weak and she had to go. So… you know, if that's what you're hoping for you're better off moving on and forgetting about me." It wasn't necessarily that she wanted Ben to walk out of her life; she was selfish, wanted to keep him close without having to let him do the same, but this was for the best. The best for both of them.
"You…" He paused, swallowing hard as he gathered his thoughts. "You're so full of shit. Honestly it's a wonder you're not surrounded by flies.
His hands reached up to cup her face and neck, fingers splaying and thumb brushing across the sharp line of her cheek. "I'm not asking you to marry me. I'm not telling you to stop being a pirate to join me on the Falcon. I don't know who it is I suddenly think you are, but you don't have to try and be that person. This might come as a surprise, but I happen to know the person you are now, and strangely enough, I like that person. Asshole."
She almost smiled at the faint insult, turning her face into his touch. "I'm not a good person anymore."
"And I am?" He lifted an eyebrow at that. "I don't want you to change, Void Commander, but you can't just expect this not to matter to me. This does affect things, like it or not."
"I choose not." She decided, reaching out to rest her palm on his chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath his sternum. "You're going to want to talk. I don't like talking."
"And yet you do it so often without saying anything." Everything around them seemed to quiet, just a little, and Ben couldn't bring himself to look away from the amber cast of her eyes. How often had he wondered exactly what color they were? Nothing in his imagination could stand up to the warmth that he saw. "Just come back in one piece. We'll go from there."
They were soft, those words, and they reminded her of the mission at hand. They were about to launch a potentially suicidal rescue mission against the Starkiller. And Ben was leading the ground charge… where he could easily die. Or she could get shot out of the sky as well.
Fuck.
"You be careful yourself, Solo." Nia warned, unwilling to let herself get distracted by the flighty ache in her chest at the thought of something happening to him. "I need you alive and uninjured if I'm to have my way with you during the victory celebration."
He was in charge of the most dangerous part of the mission; if things went wrong they would all die.
"You're more beautiful than I could have ever imagined under that mask." Those words sounded too much like a goodbye, his hands on her face burning and desperate. It felt final, something hot and possessive and under normal circumstances she would recoil but-no, she wasn't going to let him go off and get himself killed.
It was when he started to pull away that Nia lunged forward, angry and scared and maybe a little emotional as she threw her arms around his neck to pull him down. The kiss itself was hard, lips bruising and teeth nipping as she slotted her body against his trying for as much physical contact as possible. Nia let him swallow a soft sigh that sounded just a bit too much like a sob when the smuggler dropped his hands down to her waist and lifted.
Her movements were erratic, hungry and pressing as her hands roamed over every inch of his body that she could reach, trying so hard to commit it all to memory. She could hate that little whine later, but right now Nia needed to convey every thought and emotion she would never be able to say to him. Ben, at least, seemed to understand intuitively what she was doing, clinging to her just as fiercely. She wanted to taste him, to draw him inside of her, right into that hollow space in her chest where she could keep him safe.
And that fucking terrified her.
"You bring yourself back to me Ben Chewbacca Organa-Solo, do you understand?" She growled, tugging on his hair so that their eyes met. "That's a kriffin order."
"Yes ma'am." Nia had to bite back a reaction when he pressed one last kiss to her forehead. Her heart was lodged firmly in her throat and she had to rip her gaze away from him.
She would kill Kylo Ren with her bare hands if he took one more thing from her.
