Ch. 4 Thinking of You



I walked into the party, wondering why I was here. I barely knew anyone, except the guys I had met through Layla last night.

Layla and I had been on again off again friends since second grade or so. The reason we never really hung out anymore is because she always makes everything between us a competition. Basketball camp? We ended up in a huge fight because she couldn't stand that the coaches liked me more. Weight loss boot camp for kids? Huge fight because I lost more weight.

But for now, we were getting along fine. Her new friends go to a different school in town, so I don't really know them. Apparently, they liked me so much that they wanted me to come to this party.

So far, it was just a bunch of underage kids drinking, smoking, and I'm pretty sure some of them were in the backyard doing drugs.

Layla forced drinks into my hands, while I rejected most of them after a few sips.

"Why don't you try a shot?" she asked, I looked at her skeptically. "Come on! You're so boring!" I sighed heavily and tried a shot of what I'm pretty sure was vodka.

I ended up choking and feeling like crap because my throat and lungs were burning like hell.

I sat down on the couch, my arms crossed, looking like a loser most likely. Layla had gone to make out with her new guy, so I was alone. Alright, I'll admit that I've done my share of partying, but nothing where alcohol or drugs were involved. Most of the parties consisted of going for a sleepover and sneaking guys into the house after like midnight.

After about three minutes, Jared, one of the guys I met last night, sat down next to me. He was cute, I guess, with blonde hair and blue eyes, but nothing really attracted me to him.

"Layla told me to make sure that none of the dicks here were trying to get with you."

I nodded and stared at the floor.

"She also told me that we should get together," my head snapped up and I could tell through his smile that Layla had actually told him that but he wasn't taking it seriously.

"Speak of the devil," I muttered, as Layla came in with Greg, otherwise known as her new beau.

"Scoot over," she slurred, obviously drunk. She sat Greg down next to me where I'd made space and immediately straddled him to make out some more.

I guess I made a face, because Jared laughed and said, "Yeah, I know, right? They've been like this for a while."

I laughed and scooted farther away from the two tonsil hockey players, my knee hitting Jared's. I stared at it. The feeling of another guy touching my leg besides Kyler made my skin tingle, although it felt nothing like the warm, fiery flames that licked up and down wherever Kyler's skin made contact with mine.

I looked back up at Jared, confused as to how I was feeling, "Do you want to go outside? I need a cigarette."

I knew he smoked; he had smoked when I met him last night. "Yeah, sure," I said.

I was still really distracted about my feelings for Kyler; I thought I was over him. Which I guess is the reason why I let Jared take my hand and lead me onto the back porch with all the other smokers, where there was only one chair left.

Jared sat down, and pulled me into his lap. I just sat there; I didn't know how to react. The one boyfriend I'd had, we never did anything like this, and then with Kyler it happens so often I barely feel anything at all anymore.

"Yay!!" shouted Layla, coming outside. She seemed to be following Jared and I. "Now kiss!" she said. Jared and I looked at each other.

"Maybe she'll leave us alone if we do," Jared whispered in my ear. I turned to him and kissed him quickly, but when I tried to pull away, Jared pulled me back to him. It felt nice; it really did, kissing someone who wanted me back felt really good.

A kid suddenly ran outside, "Everyone upstairs! Now!"

There was slight panic, but once we were upstairs, Jared had me in his lap again and we were kissing again, and I felt like I was wanted again. Like I wasn't some fat hag that everyone hated.

After that Layla said that she felt sick, which is probably because she hadn't eaten all day, you can't drink without any food in your stomach. Well there was no use in staying if everyone was finished partying, so we all piled in some guy's car and Jared and I made out almost all the way to Layla's house. We texted a whole lot after the party, and then most of the next day until Layla and I went to his house around seven.

Once at his house, Jared led me to his dark bedroom, and we made out for about thirty minutes. When Jared started messing with my thong and asking me to take my shirt off I told him I just wanted to watch T.V.

"Okay baby, whatever you want," I smiled and kissed him some more. "I thought you wanted to watch T.V."

I laughed and got up, pushing him off of me and pulling him into the game room I'd seen on the way into his room.

"Oh. Gross!" I shrieked when I walked in.

"Put it away Greg," Jared said laughing, sitting down in the chair across from the couch where Layla and Greg had just been… well you get it.

For the rest of the night we just hung out and made out. Going outside to let the guys and Layla smoke every ten minutes or so.

When I went home I was exhausted and exhilarated. Jared had asked me to be his girlfriend. Something I still don't know how I felt about. Because the whole time I was with Jared, I was thinking about Kyler. The whole time I was kissing Jared, I was thinking about kissing Kyler.


Alright people! What'd you think? this is actually a true story, almost to the point, except the guy never asked me out. Now I've heard from some of you and you all think that Ember should end up with Kyler... but I don't know. we are soon approaching the future (i.e. stuff that has not happened to me yet) and I'm not sure what I should write. or who I want to end up with. 'Jared' is out, and I have a nice, drama filled, break up planned. but someone new might be an option. I still dont know about 'kyler' hes so strange i might never figure him out. (oh and if you're confused, I have based this entire story on my life, or recent events that have happened to me, and whenever I put a characters name in quotes, it means im talking about the real person in my life.)