Disclaimer: If I owned Stormhawks, then there would be soo much more drama, angst, death and romance!!! YAY! Of course, Stormhawks is still a happy go lucky kids cartoon show, so I guess I don't own it (yes, despite this crackish funny fic I love writing tragic angst stories with bitter endings... good thing this is a comedy...)

Recap: As it turns out, the Raptors were being idiotic and impersonating the Dark Ace. Now it seems as though the real Dark Ace is on Terra Fuji with Snipe so the Stormhawks set off to go after him. Starling splits up with our favourite sky squadron and heads to Terra Neon to confront Master Cyclonis...

Note on Terra Fuji: It is entirely made up by moi and inspired by my fondness for Japanese culture. If you've ever seen Japanese landscapes and pictures then just imagine Mount Fuji from Tokyo and a traditional feudal Japanese palace as the setting for this chapter.

Note on Aphro Crystals: They are also made up by me and inspired by… well… all those parody fanfictions making fun of rabid fangirls of all kinds. Yes, I know I'm also poking fun at myself :)

Whatever Happened to the Dark Ace?

Terra Neon was a place of fun, frivolities and careless pleasures. Every child in the Atmos swooned at the chance to go on the Terra's world famous rides or to win one of the Terra's cutest prizes. All the streets were filled with colour and luminescent lights whenever a family would walk by. As the saying went in Atmos: once in Terra Neon, you always come back for more. It was a place to forget your troubles, to laugh until you cried tears of joy or to scream because it was just plain fun to scream.

However, Terra Neon, as all places of fun did, had a down side, a darkness, a shadow. In the midst of such brilliant lights, there would be shadows cast, a deep darkness. In the presence of such glorious proportions, there would always be a lurking predator, a leering suspect who would take advantage of the citizens gathering for play... a pedophile or a criminal looking to cheat innocent minds. And as every evil doer knew, if you took away all the things that gave people joy away forever, and hoarded for yourself... then you would truly make them miserable. You would truly rule over anyone as long as you held the keys to their heart's joys... and forever kept the locks shut.

Of course... who gave a penny about that garbage? Master Cyclonis wasn't even thinking about being evil today. She was just being very possessive and beyond evil. That was a different story. As soon as the mastermind strolled into the park, every parent's jaws dropped at the sight of her. They knew who she was.

"It's... it's Master Cyclonis!" they whispered frantically to each other, unable to contain their fears and woes.

She smirked. It was always enjoyable to see people squirm in her presence. It was as if God had already told them the rules. She was superior and everything was hers.

"Ravess... Fluffy... I want everyone out of MY amusement park. Get rid of them." Cyclonis ordered smoothly, her voice holding her icy amusement. "I shall indulge myself in some rides."

Looking up at the ravenous three headed dog and the mad woman who was stringing arrows through the air at them, a bystander screamed, "WHY DO WE ALWAYS GET ATTACKED BY PSYHCOS?!"


"Terra Fuji is on the East Quadrant of the Atmos... We don't usually go there because it's for citizens with high class and hoards of wealth," Piper explained. "It's very hard to get into because the people who live there are very proud and greedy. They only let you in if you have the money."

"Money?" Junko exclaimed innocently, "Man, that's just... barbaric! How can people live like that?"

How could anyone NOT live like that?

Finn and Radarr exchanged mischievous glances before whistling innocently into the air. This didn't get overlooked by Aerrow who made sure to give each of them a firm kick under the table. He was still pretty irritated at both of them for obvious reasons. Then he looked over at Piper and smiled, letting her continue. She smiled back. The merb watched their exchange in silence...

Romantic feelings...? Stork thought, I better warn them later... I could be wrong... For once, Stork used tact. Romance, after all, was a disease that needed to be dealt with delicately...In the end, it was merely a guess.

Twirling a strand of her midnight blue hair in her fingers, Piper's eyes traced the page of the book softly, "... it's a mountainous region with a pretty distinct culture from ours and a lot of bitter history from the instances of exploring Atomosians and Kings seeking conquest. They have to make a living by promoting hotels, tea ceremonies, geisha dancing, and Fuji-style festivals, selling souvenirs such as katanas (Fuji swords) or kimonos (Fuji style robes and dresses)... Their best industry is in the Hot Springs called onsen and Massage Business with beautiful women."

Crash! Everyone looked over at Finn who had slipped off his chair and smacked his face against the floor. Before anyone could blink, Finn had regained his footing and sat up straight in the air, eyes gleaming with excitement, "hot springs, massages AND hot babes?! I'm sooo in!"

The Stormhawks could only roll their eyes in shame. Only one word could really describe their current situation: Finn.

"Ohayo ladies, I am Finn-sama of the Stormhawks! Aishiteru!" Finn babbled.

Stork rolled his eyes, "What do you know? He can speak the language too..."

"…what did that even mean?" Junko wondered.

"Ohayo means hello… Finn-sama means Master Finn; it's a term of respect to people of authority or fame and so on… Aishiteru means 'I love you'… Frankly Finn, please stop speaking Fuji language, it'll confuse people," Piper deadpanned in an extremely blunt manner.

Like the readers. Moving on…

"Let's get to those kimonos and massages! Fly Stork, fly!" Finn yelled, "Foreign love awaits me! Terra Fuji Babes!"

They all looked at him as if he had grown an extra head. Piper spoke up to bring Finn's over inflated imagination back to the ground once more, "what part of 'we need money' do you not understand? We're not going to Terra Fuji to relax and have fun; we're going to have to sneak in!"

Pausing, Finn shrugged, "so we're freeloading then! Even better!"

He went to fetch some clothes suitable for the trip in much ecstasy while Radarr followed suit. The rest of the team watched with blank awe in the daily actions of Finn.

Aerrow groaned, "there's no way we're going to talk sense into them," he pointed to Radarr and Finn who had already found some kind of yukatas and kimonos to wear (when had they even bought them?). The two troublemakers/masterminds were busy trying out the kimonos in great amusement and glee.

There was really no other option. If they were going to stop the Dark Ace from… well, whatever he was up too then they needed to get into that terra.

"Stork, make a course to Terra Fuji."

"WHOO HOO!" Finn hollered at the top of his lungs, causing Stork to clamp his ears down in disgust.

Both Piper and Aerrow exchanged similar glances. With what had happened in the first 3 hours of today already, the rest of the day would probably end up even worse.


Terra Fuji was picturesque: complete with rolling snow capped mountains yet brimming with cherry blossom trees of soft pink over the green plains. There was a nostalgic feel of magic accompanying this beautiful terra as herons flew in the sky with some snapping lizards. Small little creeks decorated the hills and in the outskirts of the large terra were lush green forests, stretching onwards to the edges of the mountains. Long wooden mansions of Fuji style were built, scattered around the terra with long bridges of eastern Atomsian design. Red lanterns which glowed of firelight hung from the trees along wires, lighting up the paths. Mystical.

In the center of the terra was a large palace of red with painted walls and more Eastern Atomsian designs of dragons, lotuses and clouds. Aerrow whistled with amazement as they walked out of the condor on foot. It was like a whole new world… another side to the Atmos he had never seen before.

The Atmos was certainly filled with untold wonders; he smiled thoughtfully, taking a look at the species of soft hued flowers which adorned the sides of the stone roads. He considered picking some later, for Piper… When they were younger he had done so frequently, but lately over the years he had stopped.

I wonder which ones Piper will like? He tried to recall her favourite colours and fragrances before Stork's exclamation of shock jolted him to attention.

"EEK! This place is crawling with fireflies… dragonflies and oh… my… god… is that a catfish in that pond over there?! Dear God save me now! I forgot to research the dangers of this Terra! I must be getting out of shape!" Stork swooned in his panic in the unfamiliar territory. "That's it! I'm wearing my anti-mind worm helmet! There's no telling what's lurking in this strange terra…"

"Stork, calm down," Aerrow caught the pilot before he could scurry to the Condor for refuge, "It's just a mission to find the Dark Ace… alright? We're not going to do anything else. I promise."

The merb shook his head in mourning, "there's nothing you can do, Aerrow."

"But-"

"Really, we're doomed. My danger senses are tingling. They tell me that unforeseeable doom will come upon us today! Didn't you see the SIGNS, Aerrow?! It all started with Finn's stupid question, Junko ruining my baby Condor, and then suddenly the raptors are cross-dressing and now BAM we're here in alien territory! I know a conspiracy when I see one, I bet you're not even the real Aerrow I bet you're an imposter! IMPOSTER I SAY-"

"STORK!" Aerrow smacked him on the head, "CALM. DOWN. AND. BREATHE."

Not wanting to get hit again, Stork complied. He took some deep breathes and then calmly looked Aerrow in the eye. "Oh, and uh, everyone just left without us."

"… oh ok… wait what?! Guys wait up!" Aerrow called after the rest of his squadron, "Stork! Why didn't you tell me?"

"… did you expect me to tell you anything coherent when I was busy hyperventilating in my totally sound arguments of paranoia?" Before Aerrow could answer Stork shook his head, "No. I didn't think so."

Aerrow reminded himself never to get into a debate with Stork. He'd never get the chance to put a word in. Instead, Aerrow contented himself with dragging Stork to the rest of group.

Until he bumped into a large crowd of girls… correction: a large crowd of drooling, squealing and rabid looking teenage girls. Uncharacteristically an shiver crawled up Aerrow's spine as he was suddenly pummeled by weights of countless female bodies all clawing at his clothes and screaming in who knows what strange language. Poor Stork shrieked, caught up in the horrible display of carnivorous women.

Strangely enough, all of their eyes seem mulled over by an eerie glow of magenta…

"Oh my GOD! It's Aerrow from the Stormhawks!"

"Take his clothes off! I want his hair for my everlasting collection of Aerrow artifacts!"

"I touched his hand!"

"Move over nerds, I'm going for his lips!"

The shrieking on top of the clawing traumatized Aerrow to no end, "SOMEONE HELP ME!"

"I'M KIND OF TIED UP AT THE MOMENT TOO, YOU KNOW!" Stork wailed as soon the Stork-fixated girls held the merb captive tied to a pole, "Don't touch me! I have the powers of… er… the Storkasaurus!"

"I can't believe it's really them, oh I could faint!" whispered Stork Fangirl #1.

Stork Fangirl #2 nodded furiously, "Now that we have them, what do we do?!"

"… I never really thought about it, I've always fantasized of…" Stork Fangirl # 79 trailed off into her world of strange Stormhawks fantasies.

"We could always dress him up in a dress!" squealed Stork Fangirl #49.

Stork Fangirl #65 nodded in agreement, "I love it when Stork cross dresses!"

This is bad… really bad, Stork thought hurriedly, if they succeed in their sick twisted plots I could end up… Gah! It's too horrible to imagine but luckily I have a plan! I have heard of the rumored rabid fangirls and I know how to fight them off…

At this point, Stork began to laugh like an insane serial killer bent on twenty hundred massacres. Yes, Stork was that scary. Some of his more intelligent Fuji Fangirls began to back away slowly in very wise fear.

"Behold!" Stork cried out for all 79 Fuji Stork Fangirls to hear him, "The power of the shirtless Stork!"

A ribbon was at the side of his shirt collar. Stork moved his neck and pulled on the ribbon with his teeth revealing his chest to all the doting fangirls, blinding them with the image of the shirtless Stork which was too fabulous for the Stork fangirls to behold.

"AH! MY EYES! It's too sexy!" Fangirl #46 screamed in terror, running around in circles before running into a tree.

"I will die now and go to heaven! Mmm-mmm!" sighed Fangirl #55 who fainted out cold upon the sight of Stork's strip tease.

As predicted, the rest of the fangirls followed suite in a domino effect of fainting girls. Stork sighed, "I am never ever ever ever ever strip teasing again—even if it is one shirt."

The humiliation… but then again, it was better then being gagged and kidnapped by hormone raging teenaged girls. Now that was scary.

Stork blinked, "Did I forget something…?"

"STORK!" the distant cries of the distraught Aerrow suddenly broke Stork's concentration.

"Oh yeah…" Stork shrugged, "He's a sky knight, and he can totally handle that pack of ravenous hyenas…"

Wrong.

Aerrow could fight the Dark Ace. Aerrow could fight Master Cyclonis. Aerrow could do stunts, triple flips, death defying jumps and more but he could not for the life of him fight off a pack of girls. In short, Aerrow was doomed.


"So…" Ravess tiptoed around the barren Terra Neon, on patrol.

Basically her orders were to chase off every civilian off the Terra so that Master Cyclonis could take over and do who knows what. Most likely the master wanted to go on the tea-cup rides, take all the little prizes, and ride the roller coasters at insane speeds—just more ridiculous pastimes during her time of the month. Ravess was pleased to be as far away from the master as possible, envying her brother Snipe who was even further away.

This was insane. Cyclonis had insisted for Ravess to bring her oversized three-headed pet Fluffy along for the patrol too… That thing wouldn't stop looking at Ravess with an untrustworthy gleam in its eyes. Something was peculiar about that dog and it was something Ravess did not like at all. Anything the master liked had to be bad news.

Fluffy jolted up, jerked Ravess forward. Her hand gripped on the long leashed the master had attached to Fluffy's collar. Ravess cursed, stumbling into a stand of shooting games, "what is it, you stupid mutt?!"

Normally the remark would get her hand snapped off by the jaws of the canine, but it went unheeded. All of Fluffy's attention was fixated on a tiny little squirrel. In fact, this squirrel was busy twitching its nose and minding its own business as it sat on one of the Ferris wheel Compartments, poking its head into a bag of abandoned popcorn.

Ravess' eyes widened. Uh oh… Fluffy bared his jaws, licking his teeth before taking a deep breath. Oh no, oh no, oh no… Ravess began to pray to God once more to have mercy on her soul for whatever sins she had committed in her past life.

The three-headed dog barked loudly, and the chase began. Ravess screamed as Fluffy chased after the frightened squirrel, which scurried underneath the deserted striped tents of red and white. Being dragged on the ground, Ravess cried out indignantly, hand still tied to the leather leash that connected her to the bounding dog.

"YOU STUPID ANIMAL!" Ravess yelled on the top of her lungs, being smashed into cotton candy stands and face paint booths alike, "I ORDER YOU TO STOP!"

Mr. Squirrel was still fleeing for his poor little life, dashing to and fro from display to display. It squeaked in undeniable terror as a looming shadow lunged towards him. Muscular canine legs slammed into pastel coloured stands of cotton candy and plastic. Giant stained teeth snapped dangerously at Mr. Squirrel that was weaving beneath ripped popcorn bags and snapped wood. The squirrel's heart beat furiously, only acting, jumping, reacting.

It really didn't feel like hanging out in a giant three-headed dog's stomach for the rest of eternity, thank you very much. Mr. Squirrel headed for the Mirror World Tent, where it was sure to divert its very enthusiastic predator.

In the meantime, Ravess was dangling helplessly by Fluffy's leash. Her head smacked into several balloons and face paint until her face was splattered with indistinguishable blobs of red, yellow and blue. With each slam against the ground, and who knows what else, Ravess cursed Fluffy and Cyclonis with every throbbing bone in her body.

"Someone-" her head cracked against a steel display of souvenirs, "-call this-" once more, her stomach was kneed by a hammer, "-thing off!"

A crash shattered any remaining sane thoughts from Ravess' mind. Fluffy has trampled into the tent of mirrors, ripping through the red fabric and smashing into halls of mirrors. Chills went through Ravess' spine. If her head hit any of the mirrors… that would hurt like hell…

Fluffy charged unexpectedly. Ravess' body lurched forward unwillingly, an unwilling captive being dragged into a hallway of endless accidents and future blood loss.

"NO!" Ravess scowled, gaining all her strength possible to move forward and grab the leash that was attached to her boot with her hands, "If I have to gnaw my foot off so be it!"

The squirrel crossed Fluffy's line of vision and the dog pounced on instinct. Ravess was ready for this; she forced her arm back to her bow and arrow and shot at the leash. Perfect aim. Her arrow flew and ripped through the leash, releasing Ravess from the canine's clutches. Falling back, Ravess fell against the leftover shreds of the tent fabric with bits of shattered glass on her clothes. The perfectionist simmered with the humiliation of allowing this dog to get the best of her.

"This calls for revenge!" Ravess vowed, gathering her bow and arrow for battle.

Her earlier mission to scour the Terra chasing off civilians and intruders was forgotten…


It was too quiet for Starling's liking… The entire Terra was deserted. Only the sound of some distinct crashes provided evidence of some presence on Terra Neon. Starling smiled bitterly, it was probably the Cyclonians. If Repton's tall tale was correct, then the master had some sort of business here.

Starling would stop whatever evil plans Cyclonis had in motion…

But this was ridiculous.

"Cyclonis… is riding a merry-go-round…?" Starling gaped from her hiding spot behind a stuffed animal booth, "… and she's eating strawberry ice cream while wearing… cat ears?!"

Yup. This story just got more random.


"Hey!" Finn waved happily to Stork, "Where have you been? We've almost got the plan under way to sneak into the hot springs!"

Piper gave him a look.

"Er… to find the Dark Ace of course…" Finn corrected himself.

"There's no time for that!" Stork shouted at Finn, waving his arms wildly, "Aerrow's getting jumped by hoards of rabid fan girls!"

They were all in a daze. Fan girls? What? Only Finn and Radarr snapped out of their astonishment to realize the pure gold they had on their hands. Thanks to the mini cameras that Radarr had snuck onto the heads of each Stormhawk member, Finn and Radarr would get all the footage they needed for their film…

Then Finn stopped his crafty line of thinking to realize something very important, "Wait… how come Aerrow has fan girls and not me?!"

"Finn…" Piper growled, "There's no time for envy, we've got to save Aerrow from… well… whatever they're going to do to him! Come on!"

In the distance, their esteemed leader let out a strangled cry. They all exchanged worried glances and ran to their leader.

"Aerrow!" Piper cried out, watching as Fan girls were killing each other for the chance of ripping his hair out to keep in their everlasting shrines of worship.

Fan girls with glowing green eyes…

"What do we do?! We can fight girls!" Junko stuttered. "It's just… wrong!"

"This is no time for chivalry!" Piper hissed, pulling out her crystal staff in a flaming desire to see some of those molesting… things… on the ground in pain. "Don't move Aerrow!"

Seeing as Aerrow had hands all over his face, tugging at his lips and eyebrows and even his nostrils, as well as hands ripping at his hair and his limbs, he couldn't move even if he wanted too. His eyes were wide in a pleading desperation, as well as a muffled 'stay back, Piper!'

There was no need for Aerrow to worry about Piper though. She twisted her staff in the air and threw off at least eight fan girls at once with a powerful blow. Her rush of superhuman strength (maybe from jealously?) did not simmer in any moment, for Piper jumped above the resisting fan girls to drop kick them into each other like dominoes. Her hand danced with her staff, taking out more of the fan girls that had resumed their charges.

Finn dashed into the crowd of fan girls blindly, hands outstretched in ecstasy, "Finn is here, ladies! Just keep the love flowing to me now!"

Crickets chirped. Every fan girl was looking at him oddly. Then they resumed their assault on Piper and molestation of Aerrow (his screams were now muffled underneath several gags and lipstick).

"Hey!" Finn scowled, "NO fair! Why does Aerrow get a screaming mob of hot chicks and I don't?! It's not fair!"

The fan girls regrouped, hair wild. They resembled a line of vengeful spirits instead of normal reserved girls in kimonos now. Pale faces stared back at Piper with lewd grins. Piper shivered.

Stork gave out a cry, "Piper, they're getting smarter! Hurry up and do something!"

"Like what?!" Piper wanted to know. "I've tried beating them off but that just makes them more angry!"

"Have you told Aerrow to try stripping?" Stork asked in a loud voice.

"No I haven't. Besides, he's all tied up and… wait… Huh?" Piper's jaw dropped half a mile. "Aerrow is a stripper?!"

In the stir of the moment, Aerrow bit through the gags… somehow. "I AM NOT A STRIPPER!"

Once again, he was jumped by girls, the moment his lips were free.

"That's… not what I meant…" Stork muttered pointlessly.

During her time yelling at Stork, Piper had let her guard down. The fan girls took this a moment of advantage. They charged at her, knocking Piper to the ground. Then they proceeded to wrench Piper up by the hair on the back of her head and smash her face against the gravel over and over again. Piper let out a cry.

She twisted her legs up and smashed the fan girls away, twisting her face upwards to breathe. One fan girl still had her clutches on Piper, determined to strangle her. With a growl, Piper swerved her body over and managed to switch their positions. Piper threw the fan girl off with her legs and then picked up her crystal staff from the ground, only to find herself using it to block another assault.

What was making these girls so abnormally violent?!

"Junko! Make a path!" Piper shouted, "Just pretend they're giant sloths from the Black Gorge!"

A fan girl literally clawed at Piper, hissing inhumanely with bloodshot eyes and mellowed skin. Piper yelped and knocked her away with a swift crystal staff movement. But she couldn't fend them off for long like this, even if she was particularly motivated to do so.

Junko nodded, determined to help his friends. "If you say so, Piper! Here goes!"

Punching his knuckle-busters together, Junko raised his fists which were emitting green light. He readied himself to punch a few fan girls, preying that he wouldn't hurt them too badly…

Miraculously, every girl froze at the sight of the green light. All of the violent storms that had been released were suddenly calmed as each girl became… captivated by the green light. The glowing green eyes of every fan girl slowly began to flicker and dim until one of the girls snapped out of her trance.

"… Oh my… what happened here?" she blushed at the sight of the disheveled Aerrow, and then looked at the unconscious bodies of numerous fan girls on the ground. "Oh dear… did it happen again?"

She stepped forward, with her head bowed down and apologetic eyes, "I'm sorry for troubling-"

"STAY BACK, FAN GIRL!" Stork yelled. "It's a trick, guys! Don't fall for it! These things could probably hypnotize you with the guise of friendliness and courtesy but I know it's lying!"

After Stork's outburst, the green light from Junko's knuckle-busters died down and the rest of the fan girls also followed a similar awakening…

"Huh…?"

"Where am I?"

"Whoa. This is so not the bar…"

"… Where'd my husband go…?"

Finn raised an eyebrow, and smirked. "Hey, can I get a number? Maybe we could catch dinner some time or something."

"… not on your life, dude," replied the awakened fan girl # 42.

Even when Aerrow's rabid fan girls were no longer rabid, they only had eyes for Aerrow. After snapping out of whatever violent phase the fan girls had gone through, they became shy, mild and blushing crowds of teenaged girls which stole dreamy gazes at the traumatized Aerrow.

Piper felt really irritated. "Ok, what is going on here?! You better start explaining…"

The girl raised her hands up in surrender. "I'm Crys. I run the inn here. What you just saw is the effect of Aphro crystals on the female population of Terra Fuji."

"Aphro crystals?" Junko repeated. "I've never heard of them…"

As Finn helped Aerrow up, Aerrow gave an expectant look at Piper. As usual, Piper understood the situation entirely.

"You actually have an abundant source of Aphro crystals here? But they're super rare and extremely dangerous! Why are you allowing such high exposure to these crystals?" Piper demanded.

"Uh… you mind explaining what's going on to the normal people in the area?" Finn requested, "We're not all geniuses here."

"I understand perfectly," Stork told him.

"… well, you're weird."

Stork stared at him with raised eyebrows, "…That is such a sad comeback…"

Groaning, Piper explained quickly. "Aphro crystals are octagonal in shape and emerald green in colour. They have several unique properties because of their structure and composition. One of these properties is to enhance beauty to the naked eye. So, if a plain looking girl wanted to look prettier or more appealing to a boy, she'd wear an Aphro Crystal and she'd be instantly attractive."

"Cool, sounds like my kind of crystal!" Finn fantasized about the hoards of 'babes' he'd be able to catch then.

"Oh brother…" Stork sighed.

Aerrow smiled sheepishly as Piper threw the two another irritated stare.

"But there is a horrible side effect," Piper continued on, "… if the wearer of the Aphro crystal sees a green light he or she will begin to experience fits of obsession, violence and possession. If he or she secretly desires and covets something then he or she will stop at nothing to get it. Similarly, if say, I was flashing a green light at the bearer of the crystal, I could control and manipulate the bearer into doing whatever I wanted merely because I was the one in possession of the green light. It's dangerous and very deceptive, allowing a human will to fall helpless to being a blank slate…"

Finn gulped nervously, "I don't think I like the sound of that…"

"Then… the reason the Dark Ace is here must be to find the source of the Aphro Crystals for Master Cyclonis..." Aerrow deduced from Piper's explanation. "If Cyclonis gets a hold of even a handful of these, she could control any one! She could rule over entire Terras of people and even raise up an invincible army."

Invincible because they'd have no will. Invincible because they'd have no emotions but malicious and violent lust for war…

They had just stumbled onto a very sinister plot.

Their group was filled with an eerie silence.

"… I can't believe there was actually a logical explanation for all this," Stork blurted.

No one could help but to break into a smile after that statement. Piper looked at Crys, "Have you been selling these crystals then?"

"Yes. We thought the crystals were jade… a precious gem that is believed to be gone from the Atmos. Many girls bought them, praising the crystals for improving outer beauty. But lately there's been green glows emitted at dawn and dusk from an unknown source. Violence started to emerge from all the customers who bought the supposed Jade. My family and I finally realized that this was not Jade, but Aphro Crystal. But by that time, no one believed us. You see, the bearers don't retain their memories after being awakened from the influence of the Aphro Crystal.

"I was actually experimenting today with the Aphro Crystal." Crys sighed, "Earlier this morning, I bought one and wore it. I wanted to see if it was possible to break out of the Aphro Crystal influence on your own. I asked my friend Edmond to bring out a green flashlight and test it on me, but it seems that there were other girls in the vicinity wearing the crystals as well… Then… they attacked you and your friends. The fabled Stormhawks are very popular in Terra Fuji… especially Aerrow. The girls' affection for Aerrow became violent obsession because of the Aphro. I'm very sorry about this."

She bowed her head down in formal apology, "If there's anything at all I can do for you…"

"Oh no we couldn't possibly…"

"Well, you could give us a free stay at the inn…" Finn interrupted with his usual charisma.

"Finn! We can't just intrude on her like this!" Aerrow frowned, "Haven't you seen what she's gone through on this Terra?! Besides, we need to find the Dark Ace!"

Finn frowned, "Aw but Aerrow! It's FREE… she's the OWNER… what's the harm?! Who else is going to give us a free night at the hot springs inn?!"

"… Maybe I can," an amused voice rang out. "I'd be more than happy to pay for the accommodations of my friends."

They all turned around to see Princess Peregrine grinning happily at them all.

"Perry!" Piper ran over to give her a hug.

"Hooray for freeloading!" Finn cheered.


Sewers were dark, dingy and foul. Just plain foul. The Dark Ace's mood darkened considerably upon the sight of the blackened tunnel ahead. Damn women and their stupid PMSing… damn Cyclonis for sending him on such a rotten mission… and damn the sewers in general with all the rats and stupid bacteria in it!

The Dark Ace had pride. He definitely didn't want any of his enemies knowing that he had spent several days sulking in a sewer trying to find the 'doorway' Cyclonis spoke of. There was a doorway to the Aphro Crystal mines somewhere in this terra through the sewage lines… now if only the Dark Ace could decipher the Master's directions through the chocolate fudge smudges on the stupid map!

Note to self: have the talons ban all junk food from Cyclonis before her time of the month. She tended to get sloppy with her eating habits before hand. Another thing to hate about his really pathetic life—teenage hormone levels. They were to blame for everything! The Dark Ace frowned and turned around to see Snipe and Commander what's-his-name following behind, picking at their ears and fiddling with string… just as bored as he was.

"Are we there yet?" Snipe whined insistently.

The Dark Ace really wanted to punch something. Snipe would do at the moment but it wouldn't satisfy his morbidity so the Dark Ace ignored him.

Snipe didn't like being ignored. It made him feel belittled and inferior to the Dark Ace. He scowled; the Dark Ace was just being a prick.

"Oy! I'm talking to you!" Snipe yelled once more.

… Did he misplace his bottle of Tylenol? Damn. Another thing to hate. The Dark Ace would have to visit his pharmacist again. Oh the joys of being an insane secondary villain to Master Cyclonis.

I really need a new job, the Dark Ace twitched as sewage goo dripped on his helmet. How disgusting. Relentlessly, the Dark Ace pressed on. The will of Master Cyclonis was more… er… convincing then his pride.

"HELLO?!" Snipe yelled again, waving his arms around like a maniac.

Still, the Dark Ace was caught up in his inner monologues and musings which included his list of hated things as well as his habit of thinking up morbid deaths for everyone he met. He even made a list at home, kept a journal of morbid deaths. Once, he'd even come up with a great death for Cyclonis. Choking on a peanut. Ha! Take that, Master Cyclonis! You shouldn't eat chocolate with almonds in it! Your weakness for chocolate will be your doom! Ahem, anyways…

"DARK ACE, ARE YOU IN THERE?!" Snipe knocked against his skull, making the Dark Ace whirl around and pin him to the sewer wall… which was still filthy by the way.

"WHAT are you babbling about now, Snipe?!" the Dark Ace hissed at him. "CAN you not SEE that I am clearly thinking about IMPORTANT THINGS?!"

Like how to kill Master Cyclonis with a toothbrush… or how to decapitate Ravess with a toilet plunger. What? The Dark Ace got creative with his morbidity. Seriously. He even started writing a book about a character that died in every chapter but got miraculously brought back to life via unexplainable plot device.

"Hey, you're the one who's deaf and socially retarded! You can't even respond when someone's talking to you!" Snipe literally spat in his face.

The Dark Ace inwardly crinkled his nose. Ew. That was so going on his list of complaints when he handed in his future never-gonna-happen letter of resignation to Master Cyclonis requesting that his job was too idiotic to even show up for. Right… And who said that the Dark Ace couldn't be sarcastic every once in a while?

Anyways… back to maintaining his dark and evil image.

"Shut up and keep walking. We'll find the Aphro Crystal mine in time… just follow my orders till then!" The Dark Ace commanded in a cold tone that he had perfected quite well.

He liked to practice his evil laughs and dramatic evil-guy poses at home in front of his own catwalk. It was fun. Good times.

Er… right… off topic.

"WHAT crystal mine?! We've been looking for two days and I haven't even seen any hint of a crystal! There's NOTHING here! Cyclonis is just being mentally retarded from all that PMSing that's going on!" Snipe loudly put in his two cents of… well, what ever he usually came up with.

"… Excuse me but I think the Dark Ace is right we have to-"

"No one cares, Commander Chickenface so just sit there like a good side character!" Snipe shouted at what's-his-name.

Wow, Snipe had actually learned to intimidate someone. When had that happened…? The Dark Ace tried to recall but inwardly shrugged. Oh well… he had probably been too busy reciting Shakespearean soliloquies in his at the time.

"I have a name! It's Commander Samurai 101!" what's-his-name stated proudly.

The Dark Ace had no idea why the idiot would be so proud to have such a name. It had numbers in it for crying out loud! That was hardly cool or evil sounding. It made the commander sound like a robot… or someone from the internet. How the Dark Ace knew about the internet has nothing to do with this story, so moving on…

"… Commander Samurai… what? Wow… sorry but dude, even I think that's lame," Snipe told him cruelly, "Face it, you've been immortalized as Commander Chicken… head… or was it leg? Hm…"

Poor what's-his-name (the Dark Ace really needed an attendance list of all the Talons, it was hard to remember who they were!) went steadily red in the face and shouted, "IT'S CHICKENFEATHER YOU NINCOMPOOP!"

All went silent. Well, except for the sound of the sewer water gushing out by their feet and the squeaks of the rats.

Snipe tackled what's-his-name and began strangling him, "DID YOU JUST CALL ME A NINCOMPOOP YOU NAMELESS JERK?!"

… The Dark Ace just twitched. And to think, that his oldest ambition as a child was to be closet poet. Not that he still wrote poetry or anything…

No he was not in denial!

… Ok, maybe he was.

Ok, so maybe he still wrote some love poems….

OK, OK, the Dark Ace was STILL a closet poet who had a flair for the romantic tongues of old, happy?

Good, because this was the part where the Dark Ace, Snipe and Commander Chickenfeather fell through the sewage pipe and into the underground laundry chute which just so happened to connect to the hot springs inn. Screaming at the top of their lungs (not the Dark Ace though, he practiced on the essence of bad-ass non-screaming in his shower) the three Talons fell into a pile of silk yukatas and kimonos, dizzy from impact.

The Dark Ace coughed and crawled out of the Terra Fuji clothes pile, realizing that a yukata robe had now slipped around his shoulders. He liked the material of it, really nice and smooth, rich fabric. This place had style.

"Oh my! Are you three alright?" murmured a maid that had come through in all the commotion.

"Er…" They all froze, unsure if they should attack or not.

"Ah! Silly me, I left the laundry there and you must have slipped! Come, I'll show you to the hot springs, you can relax there while I clean up," the maid smiled politely, ushering them in the direction of the open hot springs.

"Er… wait… lady we're not customers we-"

"Sure!" The Dark Ace elbowed Snipe swiftly without the maid noticing. "We'd love to see your hot springs!"

It would not due for them to get caught in the act of snooping around for those Terra Aphro Crystals… The bonus was that they got to soak in a genuine hot springs… and maybe even get massages.

What? The Dark Ace had hormones too… even though he was most likely older than 34… Ok, so he was a closet poet AND pervert. He was a man. A guy's got needs right?

Unknowing, the Dark Ace had just stepped into the events that were unfolding.


"So, Perry, how come you're at Terra Fuji?" Piper asked her brightly.

Perry smiled back, a beam of sunshine. "Well, Klockstoppia was just so boring! I needed something exciting to do that involved the usual princess duties AND exploring Terras and I found this old treaty that hadn't been fulfilled by my father. Terra Fuji and Klockstoppia have a friendly trade with each other as they're both isolated Terras compared to the rest of the Atmos. My father was supposed to come visit annually to their hot springs as a respect to that trade. So, I'm just here to fulfill my father's neglected duties in his passing away as well as to have some fun!"

"Gah, how exciting! Thanks so much for treating us by the way!"

"No prob, we're practically twins!"

Stork was watching the exchange with mortified eyes. Ugh, girls and their giggling gossiping… who knew how much brain damage Piper would suffer under the Princess' influence?! He shivered, not wanting to find out.

They were in the lobby of the inn, which had padded floors so shoes weren't needed. Barefoot was preferred in the households of the people of Terra Fuji. The maids had insisted that all of them wear yukatas instead of their battle weapons. Aerrow had been stubborn and kept his knives with him, even though the maids assured him that there was no need for such precautions. The Terra was peaceful, they told him again.

Right. And that was why Aerrow had been attacked by rabid girls. Aerrow preferred not to relive that experience any time soon. In fact, he was quite embarrassed that Piper and the others had had to step in to save him. He was team leader right? He should've been able to handle a few crazy deluded girls himself. For the umpteenth time, Aerrow wondered what Piper thought about it. Piper was occupying more and more of his thoughts as the day went by…

Pink filled Aerrow's cheeks. Perhaps he really was becoming a pervert, just like Finn and Starling had hinted? Perhaps he was becoming a bad person, thinking of his teammate as more than a friend. Wait, no! He wasn't thinking of her like that! They really were just friends. Aerrow was just overanalyzing this because he had been caught off guard more times than usual today… right?

Besides, he'd never forgive himself if he ever treated Piper badly. Piper was important to him…

But wasn't that evidence of some kind of affection towards her as well?

Aerrow let out a frustrated gasp and slapped himself, literally. He was being stupid…

"Uh, Aerrow you ok? You just slapped yourself…" Junko pointed out.

Aerrow frowned, "I know."

"… ok, just saying… no need to snap…" Junko backed away, sensing Aerrow's dark mood instantly.

It was funny how Stork was the only one who had figured out that Aerrow was in denial over Piper. Sigh. Stork rolled his eyes, what was this world coming too that he was the most perceptive of all of them?

Maybe that meant that Stork needed to give Aerrow some love advice. Stuff like that. Stork gulped. Oh god, not love advice…

In the meanwhile, Aerrow had still not noticed the adoring looks his subdued fangirls (who were coincidently maids in the Inn hired by Crys) were sending him. Finn, being the guy he was, had. Let's just say Finn was jealous.

"Damn it…" Finn muttered to Radarr who was busy editing all the video footage they'd recorded so far on their multiple cameras with a mini computer watch. "I don't get it! Why is Aerrow so popular? Why does Aerrow get all the fangirls? I want fangirls too! Why don't they like me?!"

Radarr gave him a look of do I care?

Finn crossed his arms. "Gee, thanks for cheering me up Radarr."

The furry creature smirked up at him smugly. Whatever, man… that look seemed to say.

Sometimes Radarr really annoyed Finn and that was saying something, considering that Radarr couldn't speak back to him.

A light bulb came on in Finn's head. "Maybe the Terra Fuji girls like the gentleman type of guy or the hero type! I can be that kind of guy!"

Radarr snorted, shaking his head. No way, you are NOT gentleman or hero material, Finn. That shake of the head seemed to say.

"You're on! I'll show you Radarr!" Finn scowled.


It was minor, really. Piper hadn't even noticed it until Perry pointed out how many girls were looking over at Aerrow, how many interested girls were looking at Aerrow. Nope, Piper was not jealous. There was no way that Piper could be jealous. Aerrow was just a boy. A boy who happened to be her best friend and leader. No… she was not jealous…

Even if she gave Aerrow the cold shoulder for a bit. But then she felt bad and smiled sheepishly at him, telling him that she and Perry were heading for the hot springs for a bit. They all needed a break from this Dark Ace thing. She needed a break from these random urges to growl at those maids to back off.

They had just been rabid fangirls… they had no right to look at Aerrow now…

Then Piper would feel guilty again.

"Perry, what do you think of Aerrow?" Piper asked her tentatively.

"He's too perfect, too good and too heroic to be true." Perry summed up, "why do you ask?"

Piper shook her head, smiling. "Nothing."

Some of what Perry had said was true. But some of it wasn't. Sometimes Aerrow could be as immature as a baby, as immature as Finn even. The episode with Craver had proven that Aerrow could get jealous and insecure. Sometimes Aerrow needed the rest of the team to save him from fangirls… he wasn't all perfect or all good or all heroic. He was just Aerrow. Good, old idiotic, yet good Aerrow.

"I was just being insecure," Piper laughed it off.

Aerrow wouldn't ever leave them for a random girl. No, she'd have to special for him to do that. Aerrow would always be true to the Stormhawks, his family and friends, his people because that's who Aerrow was. He could have as many fangirls as he wanted, but Piper knew he'd never leave them behind.


"Well I'm off to get massaged!" Finn sang, dancing as he did so. "Radarr, you're coming too! I'll show you what the Finnster can do!"

The boys were staying in a large and expensive suite, courtesy of Perry. The girls were in the room next to them. These rooms were first-class and had a lovely view of the Terra with its rolling scenery. Below, Aerrow could feel the mist of the hot springs.

The chimes, hanging from the windows, sang out softly in the wind.

Reluctant, Radarr rolled his eyes and followed.

"I guess I'll go check out their sushi buffet then!" Junko said excitedly, following Finn and Radarr out the door.

Stork merely shrugged and sat down on the floor, content to just lie around for now. Even Aerrow felt tired from the day's crazy events and proceeded to lie down as well. He found the yukata quite comfortable and easy to move around in. Maybe he'd buy one later for a souvenir.

Terra Fuji wasn't so bad a Terra after all, despite the Aphro crystals… the rabid fangirls… the evil trauma…

"Aerrow…" Stork sounded uncomfortable.

Rolling over to face Stork, who was now standing next to a portable chalk board (where had Stork found on in the first place?!) in front of him, Aerrow's eyes widened.

"Uh, what's going on?"

Stiff, Stork cleared his throat. Then he let out a deep breath. "As the oldest member of the team," he recited, as if from memory, as fast as he could, "it is my sole responsibility to educate you in the ways of the birds and the bees for the time may come for you and Piper to uh… engage in affairs of… mutual understanding. I must prepare you to have the knowledge of using uh… protection and… uh… always making sure to have the opposite gender's consent before proceeding to 3rd base!"

All the colour drained from Aerrow's face. "… what?"

The chalkboard flipped over, and Stork pulled out a meter stick, pointing it to the diagrams on the board. He had the look of the devil. "Aerrow…" he said slowly and ominously, "welcome to sex-ed."

Two seconds past before Aerrow let out a huge scream, and then ran out of the room as fast as he could.

"WAIT! I HAVE TO TEACH YOU ABOUT CONDOMS!" Stork yelled. "WHAT IF YOU'RE NOT SAFE WHEN YOU'RE DOING IT?!"

It was no wonder that all the maids stared at Stork bewildered, as if he had grown two heads.


Piper and Perry were in the change rooms, preparing for their dip in the hot springs. Piper covered herself with a towel before proceeding to change…

Aerrow burst through their door, hollering at the top of his lungs.

They froze.

Suddenly Aerrow realized where he was.

Blink. Blink. They blinked some more.

Then Piper screamed, "PERVERT!"

And threw a towel at his face. Aerrow went rigid, "Wait Piper, it was an accident, I swear I-"

She shut the door in his face.

"… Piper?" Perry murmured.

"… yeah?" Piper shivered.

"You are aware that you never took your clothes off right?" Perry pointed out the obvious. She liked poking at the obvious romantic tension between Aerrow and Piper.

"… oh."

Pause.

Instantly Piper scrambled to her feet and rushed out the door, "AERROW I'M SO SORRY!"

Ah, that never failed to stop being cute, Perry chuckled to herself.


"I can't believe this…" Starling muttered, looking at Cyclonis who was still on the merry-go-round. "This is ridiculous… how am I supposed to attack her when she's being… girly?!"

A huge crash sounded in the distance. Starling got to her feet, num-chucks ready when…

A giant three-headed dog rushed past her, chasing some kind of furry rodent. Ravess came chasing after it.

Ravess caught Starling's eye in mid-run and scowled, "You!"

"Nice to see you too," Starling replied drily.


"You'll see, Radarr. I can get any girl!" Finn walked into the massage room. What greeted him was a row of lovely ladies, of all different types. He was in heaven. "Hello…"

One of the girls looked up at him and scoffed, "He's no Aerrow, girls. But we have to give him the damned massage."

The girls all sighed sorrowfully.

Radarr chuckled at the stab to Finn's pride. Finn merely frowned, "I'll show you!"

Sure he would…

Of course, Radarr didn't notice the leering eyes of a certain bird with an obsession for him…


"I'll take 64 pieces of tuna sushi, 84 pieces of veggie sushi, 76 pieces of puffer fish sushi, 16 pieces of sashimi, 21 pieces of salmon sushi, 89 California rolls, 57 pieces of cucumber sushi, 88 pieces of crab sushi, 98 pieces of shrimp sushi, uh, 69 pieces of sea urchin sushi and 47 pieces of your classic sushi," Junko finished his list, "Hm… is that all…?"

The trembling waiter, who had to write down a very long order, hoped so.

"Move over whelp! I want to order now!"

Junko's eyes widened, "Snipe?"


Aerrow decided that after that he needed to take a good relaxing soak in the hot spring. Dressed only in a towel, Aerrow headed out, whistling as he got into the hot spring… the nice warm hot spring. It felt good to just lie down and worry about nothing.

Finn was right. There had been too much work today. Aerrow closed his eyes, humming to himself, and also hoping that Stork wouldn't find him here.

"Nice day…" Aerrow sighed wistfully.

"… Sure is…" answered a voice.

Leaning his head against the rim of the large outdoor spring, Aerrow smiled. "Terra Fuji is a great place huh?"

"… yup."

Slowly Aerrow opened his eyes just a bit. "Are you writing something?"

He couldn't quite see his companion in the mist.

"Yup. Poem. About dead people and zombies. I've also got a line of love poetry too," came the casual answer.

"Huh… cool…" Aerrow nodded, sleepy.

That voice… sounded familiar… Deep… Dark… Really foreboding…

Wait…

Aerrow got up instantly, "The Dark Ace?!"

Several splashes answered him as the Dark Ace got up as well, also clad in a towel, "AERROW?!"

And if things couldn't get even more cliché, the lights went out.

-

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-

I updated… after 6 months! Yay! Don't kill me; I had a lot of Biology and Chemistry to study for. I'm really sorry for being extremely late. I made up for it with the length of the chapter, hopefully.

Yeah, so there was a lot of fan service in this chapter. Stork being shirtless… Aerrow and the Dark Ace in a towel… It only verifies my blatant insanity. If I haven't scared off half my readers yet, I will promise that the next update of this story will be up before the end of June! July at the latest!

By the way, Crys is an OC. I guess I own her. She's a minor character, don't worry. Just there to serve as the random-person-who-owns-the-inn kind of character if you know what I mean :)

Next time: Dark Ace vs. Aerrow in a battle of sky knights who don't actually have their weapons… Junko vs. Snipe in a… drinking contest?! (don't abuse alcohol at home guys ^^), Finn vs. Samurai 101/Commander Chickenfeather/what's-his-name with only a window cleaner standing between victory and defeat, Stork vs. return of the rabid fangirls, Piper vs. the actual villain of this story (there's an actual villain?!), Perry vs. the closet (seriously), Ravess vs. Starling in a world of cosplay and finally Radarr vs. Stalker chicken!

Man, that's a long preview.

I apologize for severe oocness! Thank you for reading! Please point out any grammar/spelling errors :)