Disclaimer: Despite my best efforts between the last chapter and this one, HIMYM still doesn't belong to me. I can't imagine why TPTB won't accept my offer of pocket lint in exchange for a financially successful TV show… ;-)

A/N: Many thanks to everyone who is still reading and reviewing this fic!


Chapter Four


"Shit," Robin muttered, frantically pulling on her clothes.

For whatever the reason, she'd slept straight through her alarm. And she highly suspected that Barney was still asleep, as he hadn't answered any of her calls so far.

"C'mon, pick up," she groaned, listening to Barney's phone ring.

And then – thank god.

Barney's sleepy voice greeted her with an only slightly grumpy, "What up, Sherbatsky?"

"Barney, it's eleven," Robin told him. "We overslept. We've already missed the start of the parade, but if we hurry, we can make the opening ceremonies at noon."

"Sleep instead?" Barney asked pleadingly, voice surprisingly small and childish.

"No. Up," Robin responded. "Look, if you meet me in the lobby within the next fifteen minutes, I'll even buy you a beaver tail from one of the stalls when we get there."

"When you say 'beaver tail,' do you mean –" Barney began.

"– I mean the delicious fried pastry," Robin interjected, not wanting to hear whatever innuendo he came up with at this hour of the morning. "Fifteen minutes, Barney, or I'm dragging you out of your room. And if you aren't dressed, that's your problem."

"And Canada's good fortune," Barney said, and Robin could hear his smirk.

"Fifteen minutes," Robin reiterated, and shut her phone with a firm snap.

-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–

Forty-five minutes later found Robin and Barney by the main stage for the Canada Day Parade's opening ceremonies.

In addition to purchasing Barney the promised beaver tail (which he was currently munching on), Robin had bought him a maple-leaf bedecked tie that – with great effort – she had wrangled him into wearing. For herself, she had purchased a Canadian Flag T-shirt.

Waves upon waves of people were packed around the stage, most of them in shades of red and white paired with denim.

"My god, it's like a meeting for the sartorially-impaired," Barney muttered, though very quietly. He had apparently learned his lesson about bad-mouthing Canadians to their faces the last time he'd been in the area.

The opening ceremony was beautiful and included a re-affirmation of the Canadian Oath as well as a (somewhat off-key) singing of 'O Canada' by the crowd.

By the end of the song, Robin's eyes were suspiciously watery and she felt overwhelmed with a sudden, fierce affection for everyone around her. She might be a U.S. resident nowadays, but she would always love her homeland.

Glancing briefly at Barney, she was surprised to note that he wasn't mocking the ceremony. In fact, he was watching her with a look on his face that she could only describe as fond.

Upon being caught, Barney gave her a small, genuine smile, and Robin felt a sudden rush of warmth that had nothing to do with the press of the crowd around them.

-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–

After the ceremony concluded, the two of them wandered around the area, taking in the sights.

"You know," Robin mused absently, sipping her newly-purchased coffee, "I've always thought it would be a lot of fun to march in a parade."

Barney nodded, attention absorbed by a juggling display over in a corner. Then what she'd said seemed to register and he snapped his head around.

"Sherbatsky," he said, a familiar wicked gleam in his eyes, "Challenge – wait for it – accepted."

-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–

In a surprisingly short amount of time, the pair had located an active parade and slipped into the line. Grinning, Barney and Robin marched along with the costumed performers, waving at the crowd.

"This trip," Barney conceded, "hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be."

"Told you," Robin said smugly.

Whatever Barney had been about to say in reply was cut off as he suddenly winced.

"Geez, Sherbatsky," he muttered, "I know your people are friendly and all, but some of these folk are taking it a bit far. Four men have pinched my ass since we joined this parade and six have called me 'sweetie.' Six. I mean, I know I'm good looking, but…"

Robin frowned. Barney had a point. Canadians were friendly, but not normally this friendly.

"Then again, I'm not sure this group is all that bright, anyway," Barney continued, gesturing to a nearby woman waving a small flag. "I mean, isn't your flag supposed to have a maple leaf on it?"

Robin took a closer look at the flag and noted its design for the first time: horizontal rainbow stripes.

"Uh, Barney –" she began in sudden comprehension, but it was too late.

Barney, being Barney, had already made himself the center of attention.

"My fellow parade-goers!" Barney proclaimed loudly to the crowd. "Before this week, I ridiculed you; you were the butt of my jokes and the scum under my well-polished Armani shoes. But thanks to my best friend here" – he clapped Robin on the shoulder – "I've come to understand that while you may not be like me, you are still human beings. I'll never understand your lifestyle – and frankly, I think your dress sense is hideous – but I now defy anyone who says you are worthless. After all, Robin Sherbatsky is one of you! And one of the best things about Robin is that she doesn't apologize for who she is… something that she learned that from you people. So for that, my friends, I salute you."

He saluted the parade solemnly and cheers went up from among the crowd.

Beaming, Barney began to chant, "Ro-bin! Ro-bin! Ro-bin!"

He paused, cupped a hand around his ear and said, "What? What's that I hear?"

A few nearby parade-goers picked it up ("Ro-bin! Ro-bin! Ro-bin!") and soon the entire crowd was chanting "Ro-bin! Ro-bin! Ro-bin!"

-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–

Future!Ted: "Kids, a local news reporter happened to be filming that parade and caught Barney's impassioned speech on tape. When it became known that "Ro-bin" was not only the former Robin Sparkles, but also a celebrity news reporter, the story went viral.

Of course, neither Robin nor Barney knew that this was happening... yet."

-–-–-–-–-–-–-–-–

"Barney," Robin hissed, tugging his ear down to her mouth level, "I don't think this is a Canada Day parade."

"Of course it's a Canada Day parade," Barney scoffed. "Just look at all the Canadians here wearing weird costumes and holding signs proclaiming their 'pride' in their nationality. True, a lot of them seem to have gotten the flag wrong, but look at that fellow –" he pointed at a man dressed in a Roman gladiator costume, the Canadian flag as his cape – "Are you going to tell me that he isn't here because he's proud of his heritage?"

"I can't believe I didn't notice all the signs," Robin groaned. "Rainbow flags, people holding 'Pride' posters, men hitting on you more than usual… Barney, this is the annual Toronto Gay Pride Parade."

"What?" Barney said. "No, that can't be true. Look at those guys dressed up as Mounties! And what about the marching band? And the luscious-looking ladies dressed as moose?"

"All here for the Gay Pride Parade," Robin confirmed, shaking her head in amusement. "It must've fallen on Canada Day this year."

"Well," Barney said after a moment of surprised silence, "at least it makes for a good story. We can always tell James and Tom that we were here; they'll get a real kick out of it."

"True," Robin agreed, a small smile growing on her face. "Wanna go see what's playing on the" – she caught sight of the name on a nearby sign and snorted – "Viagra Village Stage?"

Barney snickered and raised his fist, which she promptly bumped.

"Y'know, Sherbatsky," he said as they stealthily exited the parade and headed towards the stage, "I think this parade is something else I'll have to add to my list of Canadian things that don't completely suck."

"Oh?" Robin said, her smile broadening, "and what's on that list so far?"

"Robin, Robin, Robin," Barney said with a sigh, "don't you read my blog anymore?"

"Uh, not when I'm on vacation with you," Robin said.

They had nearly reached the stage when her phone rang.

"Hold on just a sec," she said, checking her caller ID, "this is work. I told them that I wasn't to be disturbed unless it was important, so I should probably answer it."

And with that, she stepped to the side, flipped open her cell phone and said, "Hello?"

"Robin, Robin, Robin," Sandy Rivers' voice greeted her in its usual oily tones. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Tell you what?" Robin asked cautiously.

"It all makes sense now," he continued. "The way that you regularly turned down my advances… your oddly masculine fashion sense…"

Robin waited with growing trepidation.

"But it's the 21st century, Robin," Sandy said. "It's OK to be gay. We at WWN support you."

"Wait… what?" Robin sputtered.

Surely she'd heard him wrong. It was noisy here, after all.

"And we're so proud of you for coming out of the closet," Sandy continued.

"I'm not gay," Robin said flatly. "Where are you getting this from?"

"Shhh, it's OK," Sandy murmured in what he clearly thought was a soothing manner. "There's no use denying it; we just saw the footage of you at the Toronto Gay Pride Parade. And Robin, I must say, the producers are thrilled. We at WWN are progressive, you know, and this will do wonders for our ratings."

Robin massaged her forehead, a headache growing between her eyes.

"Sandy, what part of this aren't you getting?" she asked exasperatedly. "I'm. Not. Gay."

"There's nothing wrong with being gay," Sandy said. "We at WWN don't judge you for wanting to keep it a secret."

"There's nothing wrong with being gay," Robin agreed. "Only I'm not gay."

The conversation continued in this vein until Robin hung up on him.

Robin then proceeded to smack her head with her hand until another hand suddenly reached out and stopped her.

"Robin?" Barney asked, face concerned and puzzled.

"WWN," Robin said, barely containing her hysterical laughter, "apparently saw some live footage of your little speech earlier and now thinks that I'm gay."

Barney snorted with laughter.

"Really?" he asked delightedly.

"This is a nightmare," Robin informed him. "No matter what I told Sandy, he wouldn't listen to me. What do you want to bet this 'news' is going to be part of tonight's broadcast?"

"Oh my god, it all makes sense now," Barney said, practically giggling with glee. "No wonder your longest relationship was with Ted."

Robin stared at him, distinctly un-amused.

"You know, because he's a girl?" Barney said helpfully. "Making it a lesbian relationship?"

"I'm never going to be able to find a date again," Robin moaned. "And my parents…"

"Pssh," Barney said, waving her concerns off.

If it weren't for the fact that life as she knew it had just ended, Robin would have been thrilled with the smile on Barney's face; he hadn't been this genuinely happy since things ended with Quinn. As it was, however…

"You do realize," Robin said, "that this is all your fault?"

"Um, I'm not the one who brought us to Canada," Barney pointed out. "Nor am I the one who always wanted to be in a parade."

Robin pursed her lips and replied, "No, but you are the one who snuck us into this particular parade. And you're the one who just gave a speech about how I'm one of 'these people.'" Brain whirring at light speed, she continued, "There has to be some way we can fix this…"

And then it hit her.

A smirk settling on her lips, she said, "And I know just how you can help me…"