Sorry for not uploading for so long. I just realized that I can write these little comments. :D Ok, enjoy this last part of my fanfiction. CLIFFHANGERS FOR THE WIN!
"Well, hello, all my faithful students." Mr. Culllen, the 31 year old Health teacher at McKinley High, announced. "Today, we are starting a new unit. We are going to learn about a new disease that is plaguing America."
"Herpes?"
"Gonorrhea?"
Ugly people?
"No, no." Mr. Culllen said, silencing the class. "Today, we're going to learn about gay people."
"Eeewwwwwwwwwwwww! No, we don't want fags!" the students groaned.
Finn looked around at the intense hatred in the room. He locked eyes with Kurt, who was also speechless.
When the cacophonous teens simmered down, Mr. Culllen continued; "Ok, so I have some slides ready. Let's begin."
A giant picture of a man in a tutu appeared on the chalkboard.
"This is a gay man." Mr. Culllen stated. "Fact: Gays love pink and when they're out walking the streets, this is what they wear."
A light mummer spread around the room.
"Next," Mr. Culllen, changing the slide to a picture of a weird pinkish oval. "Gays aren't born in this place like the rest of us. In fact, gays are hatched from ostrich eggs that have been abandoned in the desert. When they come out, they don't have belly buttons. Instead of blood, the gay would have green sulfuric acid. Any questions?"
Finn watched as Kurt's hand went soaring up, his face full of indignation.
Mr. Culllen, seeing Kurt's hand, quickly said: "Kurt? A question? Really? You're gay. You should know all about this stuff."
Ouch.
"Now, let's continue." He went on to the next slide, a picture of a pink cat. "Now, gays only have one pet, and it's this: a pink cat. It's the only pussy they'll go near."
Zing.
"Yo, Mr. Culllen. How do gays, you know, do it?" Mike Chang squeaked.
"Thank you for bringing up that great question, Mike." Mr. Culllen said, going on to the next slide. It was a picture of Lady Gaga. "Fact: Whenever gays lose their virginity, they can only do so while listening to Lady Gaga's song, 'Telephone'. Because, you see children, Lady Gaga is their leader, and they cannot progress without her. Also, when gays come within a 1,000 mile radius of a straight person, their penises fall off. They don't have sex with their penises but by ripping off each others pubic hairs and extracting the blood from it. Because you see, even though gay blood is fatal to us, other gay people live off it. It gives them energy; and they must constantly absorb more blood because they refused breast milk as children. They preferred semen milkshakes from their fathers."
Kurt stood out of his seat. "Really, Mr. Culllen? What the fuck?"
Pardon my fucking French.
"This man is telling you lies! I have red blood, a belly button, and I didn't hatch from any egg! Oh my god! Don't believe this man! He's feeding you lies!"
"Mr. Hummel! Are you insulting me? Go the principal right now, young man!" Mr. Culllen said, the room suddenly getting quiet.
"Well," Kurt said, getting up from his seat. "I was going anyway. By the way, Mr. Culllen, I saw you in your car with that Latino guy. 'Harder, ugghhhh, harder.' Bring up any memories…Toodles."
The class went wild, hooting as Kurt exited the room. Mr. Culllen, his cheeks red and his palms sweaty, tried to regain control over the class.
"That guy is just crazy," Mr. Culllen said. "Fact: Whenever gay people see straight people have sex, their minds automatically change the woman into a man."
Nice save.
"Ok, guys." Mr. Culllen said after the commotion sizzled down. "You better pay attention. We're going to have a test tomorrow about how gays transform into lesbian hookers at night."
RING!
The bell finally rang, releasing Finn from Mr. Culllen's class.
Finn ran to Puck's locker. Puck was collecting his Algebra II/ Trig textbook.
"Hey, Puck. I was just in Health and Mr. Culllen was talking about 'our kind'." Finn whispered.
"I know, I had him first period. Did you know gays can breathe underwater?" Puck smirked.
So I can't drown my personal shopper when he gets faux Chanel?
All of a sudden, the hallway emptied and everyone was running outside, forming a mob.
"What's happening?" Finn questioned, pushing the other kids out of the way to get closer to the action.
And that's when he saw it.
Kurt, on the floor, his Calvin Klein stained with blood; about seven guys surrounding him like a pack of wolfs ready to feast on their prey.
Two of them held his hands, while three more punched him in the stomach, making Kurt cough up blood. Still, the other two guys were kicking his face. They all jeered at Kurt, but he could only lay there, in a pool of his own blood, defenseless.
"This is what you deserve, FAG!" one of the attackers shouted.
Overcome with emotion for his friend, Finn ran over to the scene of the fight.
"Let go of him! NOW!" Finn yelled.
All of the attackers stopped and looked at Finn.
"Who the fuck are you, his boyfriend?" one of them cackled.
"No, I'm his friend, something that none of you will ever have." Finn said, punching one of the abusers, who then fell to the floor.
"Why da fuck did 'cha hit Danny?" a short, chubby one retaliated. "Come an boys, let'z get 'em."
Before he could realize what was happening, four of the guys were on Finn. Finn managed to shake off two of them, but one of the short ones punched him in the gut, making him lose his balance. Finn reflexively kicked him, his head smashing into the floor.
Three of the large guys grabbed Finn's arms and evaded his kicks. Suddenly, Danny, the one Finn punched, got up and ran off. Finn got one of the hooligans off of his arms, but, he punched Finn in the groin. Just then, Danny returned with a crowbar. Finn tried to evade the strikes, but the hoodlums held Finn in place by his arms while Danny struck his head with the blunt weapon. The blows to Finn's head left him breathless, and he knew he was losing consciousness, the last sound he heard was his head colliding with the concrete.
Finn could barely open his eyes, which kept on fluttering open and closed. And when it seemed his soul would slip away, he saw something in the faint vision that remained.
"P-P-Pu-" Finn stuttered.
All Finn could hear were punches being thrown and people yelping in pain. Then, for a while, nothing. Silence.
But then the silence was broken by Puck's sweet, angelic voice.
"Call 911." The words came out like rich, succulent honey.
Finn felt a warm feeling near his leg. "Finn! Can you hear me! Please answer!"
Only one thing mattered to Finn at this moment. "K…K…Ku"
"Kurt's fine. We called his dad. He's taking him to the hospital now. Oh, here they are!"
Finn could just manage to hear the blaring sirens of the ambulance. Finn felt the earth shake as the paramedic drew closer.
"Are you a relative of this child?" the paramedic asked Puck.
"I'm'…uh…his friend." Puck said, his voice full of worry for his boyfriend. The large crowd that was surrounding Finn didn't really help.
"Oh, ok. Well, it looks like your friend took some damage." The paramedic said. "He doesn't appear to be breathing."
"NOOOO!" Puck sobbed, cold, wet tears running down his face. "He's my boyfriend! He can't die!" Puck ran to Finn's body, ripped off Finn's shirt, pumped his chest as hard as he could, and tried CPR.
As soon as the people of the crowd heard Puck's words, they immediately started to murmur and text their friends.
Where's Gossip Girl when you need her?
Suddenly, all Finn could see was a blinding white light. "Come into the light!" a soothing voice cooed.
"Elvis? Is that you?" Finn asked. He felt strangely weightless and pain-free.
"Yes my child. Now, come forth."
Finn was about to walk towards the light when he felt a tingling sensation. It was this feeling, he knew he felt it so many times before, and it could only be one thing.
"Finn! Please- wake up! Do something-anything- if you can hear me!"
Almost like magic, the light faded and was replaced by Puck's glorious face, glowing in glory.
Or, you know, maybe the sun?
Finn felt disappointed. Puck was trying desperately to save his life and he couldn't do a thing except enjoy Puck's wet lips against his. Just then, Finn felt something spring up.
"Finn! You're alive!" Puck shouted, his cold tears falling onto Finn's uncovered nipple.
"How can you tell?" the paramedic questioned.
"Because," Puck said through a barrage of tears. "Look at his pants." He motioned to Finn's tight jeans. "That's a boner! Dead guys don't get boners!"
Wood does save lives!
"Let's get this kid on a stretcher, STAT." the paramedic said.
The crowd dispersed as Finn was transported into the ambulance.
"P-Pu-Pu-" Finn gasped when the vehicle started to move.
"It's ok, baby. Just sleep. You'll get better." Puck said, kissing Finn on the forehead.
"I-I-l-lo-love-y-yo-you." Finn managed.
"I love you too, Finn."
