A/N: Heay, thanks for the reviews. Was seriously Happy with them! J Nana lee, don't worry. Comments like that are what I need. I'm going to make mistakes while doing this, and I won't always catch them. I've changed the time Daniels parents exhibit was up. Thanks for pointing that out. I really just wasn't thinking. I know the story is quite dark and it will get darker yet. I do plan to go into Daniels past a bit more but it wont be for another couple of chapters yet. The subject is serious yes, I also have knowledge on it, and I wouldn't for one moment suggest that Daniel could over come this without professional support but Jack is going to play a major role in this story. Don't worry, the pros will be called in.

Thanks Fly Casual for your suggestions in the last chapter I meant to thank you then but got a bit distracted and forgot to add it while typing.

Starjems88 thanks too. Lovin' the reviews. J

Warnings: - Descriptions of self-harm, may include suicide in later chapters. Eh language, possible slash…not sure yet. Will change rating if it comes up. Yea that's about it for now. I will change this though if there's anything else.

Disclaimer:- I do not now nor have I ever owned the rights to Stargate SG-1. That lovely privilege belongs to the people in Gekko Film Corp and Showtime. I'm just borrowing the characters. Promise I'll return them good as new. J

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"Carter, how you holding up?" Colonel O'Neill walked into Samantha Carter's lab to find her fighting of tears.

"I just can't believe he's gone." she said. Tear tracks clearly evident now that she's turned to face him.

"Yeah, I feel the same way too. He'll be missed." He said.

"What are we going to do? How can we…" she trailed off.

"Yeah, I know. It's hard. He was our best friend, loyal, caring, always there when you needed him. It's not fair." O'Neill finished passionately.

"It was before his time. He was too young to die. So young. He had so much of his life ahead of him sir." she said.

"Tell me about it. Remember all the times we'd go walking in the park…he loved the park." his voice getting thicker with emotion.

"What time is the funeral do you know sir?" asked Sam.

"10:00 am, we've got him a real nice spot in the cemetery. He'll like it there, I know he will." Jack try to sound confidant.

"Sir, it's 14:00, we have to…"

"Yeah I know." he cut her off. "Come on. Let's go." Colonel and Major walk side by side their grief palpable.

"Teal'c, any news?" Jack asked their large friend.

"Indeed, Daniel Jackson has awakened. Doctor Frasier is checking him over as we speak."

Daniels POV:

I had just woken up a few minutes ago, Teal'c was sitting by my side. He told me the bad news. The dog Jack had bought Cassie years ago had been run over by a car this morning. It was a hard blow for all of them as they had each spent time with the dog while Cassie had been settling into life on Earth. He would be sorely missed.

There would be a funeral for him tomorrow in the pet cemetery not far from here. Apparently Jack had bought the dog a good plot. I hope I can go tomorrow.

That brings me back to my own problems unfortunately.

Yesterday afternoon I had cut myself several times.

However while the cuts were not too deep I had forgotten the pain medication Frasier had practically force feed me earlier that day. The two in combination had resulted in my previous black out. I'd been lucky in some ways. Had I cut any deeper I could have ended up in a coma or worse!

I supposed it depended on your take of things though, didn't it. It depended on whether or not I wanted to die that day. God, I really was mad.

"Is the bandage two tight, Daniel?" asked Janet.

"No, it's fine." I say. I actually feel fine today would you believe it! It's not fair really. It's not fair that my secret is found out when I've made the resolve to stop cutting. It's not fair that I feel completely fine today and yet because of yesterday I'm being sent to a therapist, not McKenzie thank God, but a therapist none the less.

"Daniel, Daniel look at me please." begs Janet.

"What?" I ask tiredly.

"I just want you to know that I am here to talk, if you ever want to. I won't turn you away, or not believe you. I want to help you. Please let me help you." she whispers the last part. I nod at her knowing I won't actually go to her about this, but it was nice of her to offer. Even if it did make the both of us feel uncomfortable.

"I'll remember that." It seems good enough for her. She nods and pulls back the curtains from the bed. To my surprise I see the other three quarters of my team standing by the door, looking at me.

"Daniel!" Sam exclaims and she rushes over to hug me. I feel the air rush out of my lungs as her force hits me like a ton of bricks.

"Sam…air…" I manage to gasp out.

"Oh, sorry." she had the grace to blush. Teal'c and Jack follow her at a more sedate pace.

"It is good to see you well again, Daniel Jackson."

"Thanks, Teal'c" he bows his head at me. I look over towards Jack under my eyelashes. He doesn't look like he's about to kill me. But then he doesn't look impressed either.

"You lied to me." he says.

"Huh?" I try to think what he means.

"You. Lied. To. Me" loud and clear then.

"How? When?" I'm trying to figure this out. Sam and Teal'c look about as confused as I do. Well Sam does anyway.

"I asked you did you want to stop. You said yes! You didn't stop though. You Lied!!"

Slowly the gears click into place.

"No, no it wasn't like that. I wasn't thinking straight at the time. It wasn't a conscious decision to break my promise. Please, Jack, you have to believe me." Jacks trust in me means a great deal. I wasn't sure I could cope without it.

"Why?" he asked. Mouth taunt.

"Why? Why what?" I ask. I'm not trying to act dumb. I'm genuinely confused about all of this.

"Why didn't you come to me?" he seemed to force it out past his teeth.

"I-I well, we'd just fought, and I thought that…"

"So it was because of me then…" he cut me off.

"No!" I shout over him. "It was me. All me. Stupid me, messing up as usual. You have no blame in this."

"Then why didn't you come to me? Even after we'd fought?"

"I'd thought that maybe you wouldn't want to see me so soon after we'd fought." I muttered quietly.

"Daniel, I don't care if we've just torn shreds out of each other. If you need to talk I'll listen no matter what the circumstances. I know I'm not exactly patient at times but I'm only human. Please, talk to me. I'll listen."

"We all will, Daniel." says Sam. "You can talk to any one of us. We'll NEVER turn you away. You got that!" she asks. I'm starting to realize just why she's a Major in the Air Force.

"Yeah." I say as I turn a lovely shade of magenta.

"Daniel, why'd you do this to yourself?" asks Sam.

"I too am confused as to the purpose of your actions, Daniel Jackson." said Teal'c.

"I don't know."

It's not a lie per se, but right now I really don't know. Everything is just blurring in my head. My emotions are raw and I feel trapped.

Everyone's finally left me in peace. I'm still in the infirmary unfortunately, and on suicide watch.

They all seem to believe it wasn't a suicide attempt knowing exactly what effect the pain killers had, had on me at the time, but they're not taking any chances either. I should be annoyed at them all but I just don't seem to have the energy to care.

Jack, Sam and Teal'c were kicked out of the infirmary about an hour ago and I was been glad for the respite. After my refusal to answer any of their questions they took the not-so-subtle hint and changed the topic.

Janet said I could go to the funeral tomorrow though. I want to be there, to support Cassie. Janet said she'd taken his death very hard.

"Dr. Jackson?"

A small man with darkish hair walked over to him. He was wearing jeans and a light blue sweater. He had tennis shoes on and seemed to project a very relaxing atmosphere.

"I'm Dr. McNally, Dr. Frasier may have told you why I'm here."

Ah so this was the therapist Janet had been telling me about. I sit back on the bed and consider him for a moment. I can see immediately that he knows what I'm doing and allows me to look while he waits.

"Well, you don't waste time do you." I say. I give him a small indulgent smile. He grins back at me.

"No, no I don't. How's about we get out of here. Go top side for a while?" he asks. Desperate to get outta the infirmary, even for just a little while I readily agree.

"Sure, but I need to get some clothes." I tell him. I really hate the gowns they give us here. Especially since it gets draffy if you have to get up and go to the toilet.

"Right." he walks off whistling and returns with some clothes and closes the curtain around my bed. I shake my head in disbelief. Or maybe it's in wonder? Oh well.

We make our way up and out of the mountain until we're sitting up top. We sit in silence for about 20 minutes and I begin to get twitchy. I start to fidget until eventfully I give in and ask what we're supposed to be doing.

"Whatever you want, Dr. Jackson…."

"Daniel." I tell him. He nods his head in the affirmative,

"Whatever you want, Daniel. This is your session. It's all up to you." he tells me. I really cannot get my head around this guy.

"Okay then. Um, can you explain what supposed to be going on?" I ask.

"Well that depends. If you're asking me what's supposed to be going on in your sessions, I'd have to say I don't know. 'Cause like I said, that's up to you. But if you're asking me what's to go on in sessions in general…" he trails off looking at me for his answer.

"Yeah, that's what I mean. How are things done? What's the, oh, I don't know, protocol for these things?" I look at him curiously.

"Well . . . officially this is our first session, so it would be expected that we'd only talk about small things. Ease you into it, if you get my drift. Afterwards I'd ask about your relationships; family, friends, sexual. We'd speak about your past and what you hope for, for the future. Hopefully we'd begin to discuss your self-harming and all that goes with that.

"But, I would like to point out that you control these sessions. If there's something you want to talk about, then talk. If there's something you don't want to talk about tell me. I won't push. But there's one thing I require from you. Honesty. I have full clearance of this facility so you can talk to me in confidence. I have read over a few of your mission reports so I do know you deal in unusual things. The point is, you don't have to hide anything from me. Everything you tell me is in the strictest confidence. The only way I could break my oath is if you were to call me up some time threatening suicide. Or else if I somehow discover you've been taken over by one of these Goold's" he says.

"Goa'uld." I say.

"Huh?"

"It's pronounced Goa'uld." I tell him.

"Oh, right. Thanks. Anyway, you get my point right? You're in control. For the moment we'll be speaking for about an hour every day or so. We can change that if you want. Eventually the sessions will space out a bit. This is just for in the beginning." he stands up and stretches.

"Oh, don't you have other patients?" I ask, surprised at the amount of time I'm going to be spending with this man.

"No. I'm special therapist for the military. Only do one person at a time. There's about 20 of us employed by the military. There are others but they are like Dr. McKenzie, they work with several people at a time." he tells me.

My stomach drops at the thought of McKenzie. How close I came to 'talking' with him again.

"You don't like Dr. McKenzie?" he asks.

"No, I don't. Have you read the reports on the Ma'cello incident?"

He shakes his head in the negative.

"Well . . . do."

"You know, Daniel I can't just read the report on everything. I need you to be able to tell me. To be able to say what happened and how it affected you emotionally."

"I understand. But, it would help me if I didn't have to stop and explain every little detail. You need to be able to understand what I'm talking about and that might take homework."

"Okay, that's fine. I'll read the file on this Ma'cello case tonight and we'll talk about it whenever you bring it up. Is there anything you want to talk about now however? We still have half an hour." he informs me.

I know I'm being all pleasant and nice. I know I must seem like I'm being co-operative but frankly, while I am intrigued I'm not ready to give this guy anything yet.

"No, not right now thanks."

He stares at me. "Daniel, what did I say the one rule was?"

I look at him blankly. "Oh, eh, honesty." I say.

"Exactly. So do you want to try again?"

He's good, I think. Wonder how he can tell people are lying to him so easily.

"What do you want me to say?" I ask.

"Well the truth would be nice."

He's looking at me now, so intently it's beginning to un-nerve me. I'm not telling him this. I'm not comfortable just opening up to him like this. He has no business pushing me like this.

"You're angry now. Why is the truth so difficult for you? Or maybe it's not the truth but what it represents. Am I right?"

I just keep staring at him.

"Yes, I think I am right. It's not the truth you fear but the feeling of being so open. Exposing yourself to someone. Especially someone you don't know."

He seems pretty confidents in his assessments.

"WHERE THE HELL DO YOU GET OFF SUGGESTING THINGS LIKE THAT!! HOW DARE YOU IMPLY THAT…" I've started shouting and pace in front of the man. I look at his face and if I didn't know any better I'd say he was smiling.

"What could you possibly have to smile at?" I ask him incredulously.

"Well, I had wondered if I'd see your temper at all today. I mean you were too polite. Most people can't stand shrinks and normally fight tooth and nail. You on the other are sneakier aren't you? You were going to play the good little patient and try and slip away as quick as possible."

I felt myself blush not realizing I'd been so obvious.

"So want to answer my question now?" he asks me.

There's no getting around this guy. If I'm doing this I'm doing it for real.

"I don't want to talk about anything else right now because I don't feel comfortable enough to do so." I sigh as I watch his face.

It's stupid I think. He probably thought it was something more serious and yet here I am just being a baby, too afraid to talk to him.

"Thank-you for being honest with me, do you think you will be able to talk to me? Eventually? You can't have a therapist you don't feel comfortable talking to." he says.

"Try telling that to McKenzie." I mutter. He's looking at me expectantly, waiting for an answer. I don't doubt for one second that he heard my last comment but he's choosing not to repeat it.

"Yeah, I think so. Just, just not right away."

He nods.

"That's good enough for me. So want to head back in or stay here for a little longer?" he asks me.

He's not looking at me though, but at the view. Much as I'd like to stay out here a little longer I need to be on my own. Think a little. Some space would be nice. Maybe I could convince Janet to let me back into my office for a little while. Even just an hour would be nice.

"Eh, go back in I think." he seems to understand why and leads me back into the mountain. He stops at the elevators though.

"I think you can make it back to the infirmary yourself, eh?" he winks and turns in the other direction.

I stand still for a moment. I'm confused. This guy is really throwing my through a loop today. He doesn't fit the therapists mould. I turn and begin to head towards the infirmary. That's another thing. I was told I had to have an escort all day today. Constant supervision. And while I'm not exactly completely own my own, security camera's, it does feel good to be allowed to walk on my own. I realize that at the moment it's a privilege.

"Daniel! Where is Dr. McNally?" Janet rushes over to me. I smile down at her.

"It's okay. He left me at the elevators. We talked." seeing I really am okay she calms down a little.

"Oh, how was it?" she asks.

"It was all right. Surprising really. He's not like other therapists is he?"

She laughs a little.

"No, you're right. He's not. He reminds me of you actually." she tells me with a gleam in her eyes.

"Me! Why me?" I splutter.

"Well your personalities are quite similar. I'd say had you met under different circumstances you'd be quite close."

"Right, well Janet I was wondering if I could go back to my office for a bit. Not long and I won't work. I just want to have a look through a couple of my books." She doesn't look certain. I pout to seal the deal.

"Fine, but I want to back in 1 hour." I smile.

"Thanks Janet." I say as I walk back towards the infirmary doors.

"But you have to take someone from SG-1 with you." I freeze. Slowly I turn back around at look at Janet in disbelief.

"Are you serious?"

"I'm sorry, Daniel. You know the rules. Dr. McNally letting you come down from top-side on your own was one thing. Leaving you in your office, where you harmed yourself, for an hour is another thing entirely. You have to have supervision." She did sound genuinely sorry. But right now it didn't matter.

"Fine, whatever." I ground out and left the infirmary. I didn't know that Janet had called the rest of SG-1 to be on the lookout for me.

I didn't know who to go to. I really did just want to be on my own. Teal'c would probably start to Kel'no'reem with me, but I'm too twitchy to meditate properly.

Sam, scientist that she is would try and find the answers. Even if I didn't know them myself. She cares about me of course, and would never hurt me on purpose, but sometimes she just didn't know when enough was enough.

That left Jack. Could I go to Jack?

Was I comfortable enough to go to him, even after all that's happened?

'If you wanna talk or if you just want to sit in silence and you don't feel like being alone, I'll be here. I promise'

Turning right I head down the corridor that contains Jacks office. Normally I'd just walk in but today I knock.

"Come In." I walk in and shut the door quietly behind me.

"Daniel. What can I do for you?" he asks.

He shuffles some papers, closes a folder and puts everything to the corner of a clean desk. For a moment I blink.

"…Desk…" I hold my hand to my heart. He chuckles deeply.

"No, not that simple. Come . . . look." I walk towards him.

That's when I see 7 or 8 stacks knee high, piled on the ground.

"There was too much on the desk. I had some SF's transfer the piles to the floor before there was an avalanche!"

I laugh quietly with him for a moment.

"So what brings you 'round these parts anyway?" he asks again.

"Eh, you busy?" I ask uncomfortably.

He looks at me for a moment. His eyes searching.

"No. Wanna talk?" he asks.

"No." I shake my head.

He seems to sense that I'm not finished yet. I sigh and sit down on the couch in his office.

"What I really wanted was to be alone. I have some stuff I need to…think about. But Janet said I couldn't go to my office without someone from SG-1."

"You want me to go to your office with you?" he asks.

He'd go with me too. I can see that.

"No, I just, I just need to think. But maybe Janet's right and I shouldn't be alone. Not for the moment anyway."

"Do you feel like…" he trails off.

"No, just…lonely I suppose." I hug myself as Jack moves to lock his door. I raise a questioning eyebrow.

"We don't want anyone to disturb us do we?" I smile at him.

"No, I don't suppose we do." Jack comes to sit on the couch beside me. I'm still nervous about this whole comfort thing. I don't know how to ask for it and I'm not always comfortable receiving it.

"Come here, Danny." Jack raises his arms as I scoot over to him a little. I feel somewhat awkward and I don't know where to put my arms but he's helping.

"Shh, relax now." He pulls me closer now.

My head is resting on his chest, just above his heart. It's soothing. He's rubbing one hand on my back with circular motions. His other hand is on my arm, rubbing it in downward strokes. I sigh in contentment.

"That's it Danny, you just take all the comfort you need. I'm here."

He's whispering these things in my ear and I'm finding my eyes grow heavy. I don't fight it. I feel like I fit into Jack perfectly. It's so comfortable.

"Sleep, Danny. I'll be here when you wake up." he says while he continues petting me like a cat. I take his advice and fall into Morpheus' gentle grasp.

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A/N: Heay, well don't forget to Read/Review. I'm always happy to revive constructive criticism, else how will I ever learn.

Re-edited on April 4th 2009. Thanks for all reviews.