I wrote this while at work, trying to look like I was writing notes down in training. So enjoy!


I was cranky. I didn't sleep much again last night.

I couldn't understand why. That frustrated me the most.

I gave up on sleep after 3am. I kicked the blankets back and decided on a book, a glass of wine and a bath. It sometimes helped me relax after a big day.

I grabbed a book and my wine and laid back against the cold porcelain as the bath filled up. I took a few sips of my wine and tried to focus on the words on the page in front of me. I re-read the same line 5 times. In frustration, I threw the book to the ground and rested my head back against the tiles. Half an hour later I was officially a prune and over the whole trying to get relaxed theme.

I dressed in my workout gear and went into the spare room. I grabbed my iPod, since it was only 4am, my stereo would have to remain off.

A steady rock beat drummed through my ears, as my feet started pounding on the treadmill.

An hour later, lost in my own world of thoughts, I was still running. I wondered if anyone else ever willed their brains to just shut off, to stop ticking over. Just for a while.

I was meant to see a psychologist, just as a precaution. Procedures. I'd been dodging it quite well for the past few weeks. As had Hodgins. I didn't need to talk about what happened. Everyone knew what happened, everyone knew why. What was the point in going over it? It wasn't logical when the why's and what's had already been established.

What I needed was a new case, or even some in limbo cases to immerse myself into.

My body hadn't seemed to notice the workout I'd just given it. I dropped my pace down to a fast walk for a cool down. Looking down at my iPod, I saw it was 5am already.

Was I breaking my promise to Booth, by going in before working hours?

I decided it would be fine. I hadn't gone in all night, and I had tried to sleep. It would only be an hour or so before everyone else got in.

I jumped into the shower, toweled off and got dressed for the day ahead of me.

I walked back into the foggy bathroom, wiped the condensation off the mirror. I knew the image looking back at me, was me, but at the same time, the woman looking back at me looked haggard and sick. Dark circles were around her eyes, skin was sallow looking. Tiny red spider veins were appearing on the whites of her eyes.

One thing that I loved about my job was the fact that makeup was not a requisite.

Maybe today, it was going to have to be.


I knew before I'd seen her car in the underground carpark at The Jeffersonian, that she'd already be in.

I walked through the sliding glass doors and saw her hunched over a table on the platform. Her eyes intently fixed on a set of bones in front of her.

She shoved a stray wisp of hair out of her face.

Again, she looked like she'd spent the night here. So much for that promise hey Bones.

Disappointment and annoyance shot through me. The former, more so than, the latter.

I swiped my card and jumped up onto the platform.

"Bones, you promised." Her head jerked up at my voice.

Obviously she hadn't seen or heard me enter the lab. That in itself, spoke volumes. She never missed a beat. Even when I'd set Homeland Security to detain her at the airport, she'd observed my entry into the room, without even looking my way.

I shot her my 'I'm disappointed in you', parent look. It worked for Parker, I was hoping it would work for her. Although, she was far from a child.

"I didn't break that promise, Booth. I've been here since 6am." She said it calmly, but her eyes were willing me to challenge her. When I said nothing, her stare dropped back down to the bones in front of her.

Right, so she'd had no sleep, yet again.

"So, did you sleep at all?" I walked up behind her, looking at the bones she was squinting at, over her shoulder. "Hey, are you wearing makeup today? Got something special on tonight, or just dressing up for me, Bones?" I winked at her, as she straightened and twisted to face me.

"Yes, I did. It was fine, slept all night. I just have a lot on at the moment, so decided to get an early start. And no, I didn't dress up 'just for you'." She stepped away from me, walked over to the other side of the table.

"Right, which is why you're such a barrel of laughs, today Bones. So does that mean you have a hot date tonight?" I said, waiting for her to bite.

"I'll assume you're referring to my disposition today, so I'm going to choose to ignore that. As for tonight, that's none of your business." She said without lifting her head from the table.

"Aw come on, Bones. No banter today? That's the crux of our relationship! You wouldn't love a good argument right about now?" I said grinning down at her.

"You know what I'd really 'love' right now? I'd 'love' to identify this man laying here in front of me, without interruption. So, do you have anything specific for me, or did you just drop by to have a chat, Booth?"

I stared at her. She held my stare. So this game again.

I knew she was lying about the sleep. I could tell just by looking at her. Makeup and all. Her attitude just confirmed it. Just like every other sleep deprived female, in that sense. Cranky, exhausted, but wouldn't let anyone know what was wrong. She was still capable of doing her duties.

How are us guys meant to know what's wrong, unless you girls tell us? I steamed silently. No point bringing that conversation up now.

She'd cut me a bit. I was only trying to be a good partner.

"Nope, no cases. Just wanted to say hi, and see how you were. Might catch ya later Bones." I turned and walked out of the lab, before she could say anything.

I knew if I left her like that, she'd stew over what was said. How she said things. Which would be good for her to do, before anyone else gets in.

Best for her to think of how her attitude affects those around her. Not everyone deals with people who can't talk back, who don't care what mood you're in. Some of us are still in the land of the living.


I knew I had been hard on Booth. I hadn't meant to be, it just came out before I could stop it.

I had to get out of this funk I was in. It wasn't productive for me, my work, or anyone around me.

With that, I pulled myself from the wreckage of my silent reverie.

The one thing I hadn't let surface, I had to let go of.

I wasn't cranky at Booth, I was cranky at myself. At the fact, that I needed another person to help me feel secure at the moment.

I wasn't quite sure on how to fix this dilemma either.


At 1pm I called her.

"Brennan" Curt, as always.

"Mood lightened up yet? We got a call out."

"Picking me up?" I could hear her packing her stuff up already. It was like dangling candy in front of a little kid at times.

"Depends if you're gonna be nice to me." I teased.

"Depends on whether you insist on teasing me full time." I heard the smile in her voice, despite the serious tone she was intent on using today.

"You know, you're not the only forensic anthropologist in town anymore." I said trying to sound serious.

"Yeah, but you and Zack kind of don't talk, so that poses a problem for you. Also, while I am aware my social skills aren't up to scratch, I do get your jokes now. Who would laugh at your jokes if I wasn't there?" She threw out lamely.

"Maybe we could get some good old 'male bonding' time in. Maybe I'd rather start working with someone less moody…"

I heard her huff, then, "So we both know you're going to pick me up, we have a body waiting. We can continue this in the car. I'll be waiting out the front." She hung up before I could say anything.

I couldn't stop the grin on my face, as I ran out of the building.


From the state of decomp, I would say he's been here around 2 years, give or take. I'll get Hodgins to check bug activity to confirm though." I was bent over the steel barrel the body was found in.

"So, male, bout 2 yrs. Race?"

"Hmm, brow and nasal ridges suggest Caucasian, but I'll have to get him back to the lab to get a more precise answer for you."

"Cause of death?" Booth looked down into the barrel, then backed off.

"Nothing outwardly obvious. Let's get him back to the Jeffersonian so I can get these bones cleaned up." I stood up and stretched. My back ached from being bent over the barrel. My legs were starting to protest to the run I'd had this morning.

"You heard the doc guys. Let's get this packed up and taken over to the lab."

My stomach grumbled, I looked down at my watch. It was 5pm already. We had an hours drive back to the lab. I hadn't eaten since I'd left my place this morning.

I grabbed my mobile and dialed Cam, while heading back to the car.

"Hey Cam, it's me. There's a body on it's way in. He's in a steel barrel. Not much flesh left on the body, but thought you might want to look and see what you can find. Yep, sure. I'll be there soon." I clicked off, jumped into Booth's SUV, and rested my head back against the seat.

Booth started the car. It's steady hum was soothing.

"Late night planned, then?" Booth's voice cut through the silence.

"Uh, yeah, I guess so. See if I can get the bones cleaned tonight." I glared down at my still grumbling tummy.

"Whoa! Was that you're stomach, or some animal I'm unaware of in the back seat?!" He said looking at me in mock horror.

"My stomach. I haven't eaten since I left home this morning. It's now protesting. Think we could get something on the way back to the lab?" I asked hopefully.

"Sounds like a plan."

"Kebabs." Oh yeah, that would definitely curb my hunger at the moment.

"Pushy."

"What?"

"Pushy. You, with dinner. What if I wanted, say, Chinese?" He said shifting his gaze over to me at a red light.

"But, you didn't say what you wanted. You just said 'Sounds like a plan', so I thought I'd suggest what I wanted." How was I being pushy?!

"But the point is you didn't pose 'kebabs' as a question, you just said it, like it was a definitive."

"Fine." I said exasperatedly. "What would you like for dinner then? Does it really matter? Are we going to be having dinner together anyway?"

"Kebabs sound good." He said with a smug grin.

"What was the point of arguing, if you wanted kebabs in the first place?" I huffed. This man was so infuriating at times.


I dropped Brennan off at the lab after getting our kebabs, and drove home.

Picked up some clothes and drove back.

"How's it going?" I asked Hodgins.

"Yeah, not too shabby. We found a fair bit left in the barrel. Lots of fun squishy bits to look into! Not even my birthday dude!" He punched at my arm.

"Where's the boss lady? Cleaning the bones?"

"Nah, she won't be able to get to that until tomorrow. She's in her office I think."

I walked in to find her trying to keep her eyes open on her couch. Her back was to me. I walked up behind her.

"Time to go home, Bones." I said pulling her up under her arms.

"No, I haven't finished." She protested.

"You can't do anything until tomorrow, so may as well get a good nights sleep. Like last nights, right?"

"Yeah, just like last nights." She looked down at something on her couch.

"Come on, lets go."

"Ok, I guess since I can't get to anything. Although there is paperwork." She said grimacing at the pile on her desk.

"Tomorrow. Tonight, sleep." I said firmly.

I got her in the car, after arguing over whether she would drive herself home. Then got her to her apartment, without her falling asleep.

"Thanks, Booth. Can you pick me up in the morning? My car is at the lab." She said rubbing her eyes with her hands.

"It's ok Bones, I'm staying the night. No need to pick you up!" I said taking off my seat belt.

Her head shot up, "No, Booth. It's fine. I don't need someone there to help me sleep. I'll be fine. Look at me. I'm so tired I'm just going to drop. I'll be fine."

"There were a lot of 'fine's' in that sentence, Bones."

"That's because I will be fine."

"Are you trying to convince yourself, or me?" I looked over at her. She looked like she was having a silent debate with herself.

"I need to work things out for myself, Booth. We're partners, and friends, but I can't expect or want you to put your life on hold for me. I know I have needed someone to help me feel secure over the past few weeks, but I can't anymore. Thank you for being that security, and for all that you've done, I do appreciate it Booth, but I need to get back to how I was, by myself." Her eyes were fixed on mine.

"Right, I guess I'll see you in the morning then." I re-clipped my seat belt and started the car again.

"Please, don't be angry Booth." Her tone pleaded for me to understand, and I should, but the fact was that I'd appointed myself as her guardian, I guess. So being shoved away stung a bit.

I should've seen this coming. But for some reason I didn't.

"It's fine Bones, I'm not angry. Guess I'm just tired too." I smiled over at her. No point in her thinking I was angry at her. I wasn't. It wouldn't help her sleep either.

"Uh, ok, well. Don't worry about picking me up in the morning. I'll just walk to work. It's not that far." She said with a glance at me.

"Sure Bones, I'll see you at the lab sometime tomorrow then." I said evenly.

She leaned over and took my hand. "Booth? Thanks again." Then she jumped out of the car and walked into her building.