1 year and 6 months ago.
Katniss bathed in the afternoon and vowed to eat all her dinner later, for the sake of Greasy Sae. She didn't want her existence to be any more of a burden than it already was.
Hadn't the woman done enough? It had been her wrinkled hands that removed the thorns out of Katniss's, when she had ripped out the primrose bushes months ago. It had been Greasy Sae who had picked up the glass shards, after she had broken all the mirrors in the house the other month. It had been Greasy Sae who had swept the long, sporadically singed hair off the floor last week, after she had chopped it off at random in front of the fireplace.
It had been tough Greasy Sae, who hugged her this morning, after she saw Katniss's clumsily bandaged wrist.
Katniss hadn't thought of killing herself last night, not this time at least. She had just wanted to feel something other than loneliness and longing for Prim. She hadn't cut deep enough, but deep enough to feel pain. It was the familiar type, the type she had lived in the arena and that had unmoved her rather quickly. She had cleaned her wrist, put antibiotic ointment on, bandaged it, and gone to bed feeling both accomplished and disappointed.
This morning Greasy Sae had discovered it though, and without judgement had simply pulled her into an embrace.
However, now at dinner she had come in with an almost sober Haymitch trailing behind her. Greasy Sae had her work life in between the meals she brought Katniss and a granddaughter to look after. The ultimatum presented to Katniss was a call to Dr. Aurelius or moving in with Haymitch.
The choice was easy.
She figured living with her alcoholic mentor was a better bet than being sent to a foreign psychotic ward.
It took two days, but she finally had the information Peeta wanted. The hospital phone number and Thom's connections. So here she was walking to Peeta's, with uncertainty and determination to hand it over.
The run into each other near the Justice Building had been awkward. How was she supposed to introduce a man who mattered to her to another who never stopped mattering? The boy with the bread was still here.
She had realized it as soon as she had closed the door on Peeta, the night of his return.
He mattered regardless of time and distance, because she had been so wrong. He hadn't come back a stranger. In that short time he'd carried Haymitch to their house, she had recognized more traces of the old Peeta, the one the Capitol kidnapped and tortured into an actual stranger. She wanted to know about his time away, if had beaten the flashbacks and regained his memories, and if he thought part of his love would make it back to her.
She had wanted to run after him and into the past where he loved her. But she would sound selfish and insane saying it to him, so she didn't. Instead, she played her best card, evasion. She kept unexpected encounters short and polite. She graciously turned down lunch and dinner invitations.
New or old Peeta, he caused uncertainties in her and complicated her actions, as he always had.
She didn't want to dwell on it right now, instead she raised her fist to knock on Peeta's door.
"Hey," Peeta answered with a smile after the third knock.
"Hi," she offered.
"So what's up," he asked.
"Is Delly here," she asked, searching the background behind him for the blonde.
"No, she went to visit some of her family's old acquaintances from town," he replied.
"The few who made it," Peeta added on an afterthought.
Katniss didn't acknowledge that last part.
"Oh, well here then, it's the hospital's phone number," she said, pulling a scrap of paper from her pocket.
"I'll give it her, thanks," Peeta responded, glancing down at it after she handed it to him.
"No problem. Thom would also like to meet with her for an interview this Monday," she informed him.
Peeta raised an eyebrow, "He moved fast."
Katniss looked confused at what he meant.
"She had asked about positions before and told they weren't hiring," he explained.
"Oh, well he'll get her in. I'll make sure," she asserted.
"Thank you," he said sincerely.
"Alright, then I should get going," she stated quickly.
"Do you have some place to be," he asked out of curiosity.
"I was going to go eat lunch at Sae's booth," Katniss answered.
"Oh, okay," he said, readying his hand to close the door once she left.
Katniss's brain willed her mouth to stay shut, but failed, "Would you like to come with me?"
"If you're not busy that is," she added lamely.
Peeta smiled, "No, I'm not. I'll go."
They made small talk on the brief walk to the new Hob. It wasn't until they entered the premises that Katniss's face lit up. She was somewhere she belonged and she led Peeta toward her favorite booth.
In these two years, Greasy Sae had filled the role her mother had abandoned. Katniss had always respected the old woman, but now she had an equal affection for her too.
She owed Greasy Sae for recovering most, if not, some of her sanity. While the Haymitch living situation had been coerced on her and took time getting used to, it had been her saving grace. The best form of therapy had come in Haymitch's presence, as hard as it was to believe. They had both been plagued by nightmares at night and somehow, at some point had taken to sitting in front of his fireplace, together. Katniss had sat on the floor wrapped in a blanket and he had sat on the armchair taking sips from a bottle. It had begun as a silent comradery, until the night Katniss asked why he chose to save her in the first games over Peeta.
His answer had been, "You knew how to survive."
It had begun with that question, but it didn't end there. They were fed by Greasy Sae mornings and evenings, but late at night it was them two who talked about everything in chronological order.
One night she had finally asked the question that burned in her soul, if he thought it was all her fault, the war and the destruction.
His answer had been, "No, you were just a scared kid. It had never been under your control."
It had been the first night she had understood and accepted anything post-Prim.
She had been so grateful to Greasy Sae's inadvertent favor, she started taking care of herself from then on. She had begun with making her own meals and feeding herself, and by extension Haymitch.
It had also been about a year ago that the old woman and her granddaughter were displaced from their makeshift home. It was on a site the government had wanted to plough and build another medicine factory on. Katniss had lived with Haymitch for six months by that time and without hesitation had offered her empty house to them.
Somehow the range age of loners had become a misfit family.
It was that reason that she hugged Greasy Sae on arrival. The old woman gave her a wrinkled smile and tenderly patted her back in the embrace.
Katniss reintroduced Peeta and while Greasy Sae was polite, he could feel the apprehension. She served them two bowls of rabbit stew and when Peeta offered to pay she waved him away dismissively.
Katniss laughed as she led him to a small area with table benches.
"I hope I didn't offend her," he said, while knowing he had.
"She's just stubborn," Katniss answered with a smirk.
"Reminds me of someone," Peeta joked, enjoying this side of Katniss the old woman brought out.
Katniss smiled, but stirred her spoon in her bowl longer than needed, over thinking something.
"What is it," Peeta asked, unsure he said something wrong.
Katniss answered truthfully, "Last time, you said Delly's brother works in the same hospital as my mom."
Peeta nodded, "Yeah, he does."
He took a mouthful of his stew while he waited for Katniss to continue.
"Did umm- did you ever see her," she asked.
"Yes, once," he told her.
She ate some stew before asking, "Did she look okay?"
"She looked like she worked too hard," he said before eating a second helping.
"Oh," she said, staring at her spoon.
"But she also looked at peace there," Peeta stated, sensing her worry.
Katniss smiled at his kind remark, "Thank you."
She asked, "Were you in District 4 all this time?"
"No, when I left, I went back to Dr. Aurelius," he said.
She ate another mouthful.
"When the media found out I was in the Capitol, he sent me to District 4," he added before she could comment.
She didn't, she just gazed back with those gray eyes and he had to look back to his bowl for a second.
He ate another spoon of rabbit stew and she did too. He didn't know what were safe topics of conversation, so he took another bite. They both ate in silence for a few minutes.
He didn't want it to be only awkward silence, so he risked it, "I saw Annie often."
Katniss ate another spoonful of stew and seconds later replied, "She sent me a letter with a photo of her baby."
Peeta was surprised, "She never told me."
Katniss stayed quiet, so he added, "Finn's a cute kid huh."
Katniss nodded finally with a smile, "Yeah, poor Annie."
Peeta's brows furrowed, "What do you mean?"
"Imagine him as teenager with Finnick's looks and charms," she said joking, like she rarely did.
Peeta beamed in memory of their friend, "Agreed, poor Annie."
"How about you," Peeta asked, nearing the bottom of his bowl.
"What about me," Katniss asked.
What happened to you all this time, while I left and you stayed?
"I don't know. How did you end up living with Haymitch?" he asked instead.
"Oh yeah, long story," Katniss answered.
"I have time," Peeta retorted putting his spoon in his now empty bowl.
Katniss took a mouthful from hers, prolonging a reply.
Peeta relented, "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I just-"
"No, it's fine. It just kind of gets grim," she said sincerely.
She wouldn't go into details, but there was no point in lying either. She had always been a bad liar and it's not like he can't figure out things were rough.
He seemed to have read her mind because he replied, "Katniss, my time away... it wasn't exactly a tale of excitement either."
She looked down to her bowl.
"How is living with him though," Peeta asked mockingly, trying to lighten the conversation.
Katniss snickered, "Ha, now there's the real sob story."
Peeta smiled.
"No, but in all honesty, he isn't so bad," she said with a smile.
"Wow," Peeta grimaced.
"I know," Katniss laughed, even if she loved Haymitch, saying nice things to him or about him didn't feel natural.
"That's a lot to take in," Peeta joked.
Katniss put her spoon in her drained bowl, "So what about you?"
"What do you mean," he responded.
"Delly and you," she said, looking him in the eyes, "If you don't mind me asking, how did you end up together?"
Peeta stammered, "Do you mean how did we end up here, in 12, together? …or did you mean as a couple?"
Katniss shrugged, "Both, I guess."
Here was his chance of correction, "Haymitch didn't mention that we're not together like that?"
"No," she said, shaking her head and regretting any nice adjectives about Haymitch.
"We're not dating. He asked me when we got here, but I made it clear we're just friends-" Peeta told her.
"-but you live together," Katniss interjected swiftly, sounding more interested than she should.
"-and we sleep in separate rooms," Peeta finished seemingly.
"Delly doesn't have anyone else here. She's staying with me until she can get a job and a place to live in."
"Oh," Katniss said feeling like an idiot.
Peeta stayed quiet for a moment before he stated, "Katniss, I know this all feels uncomfortable, to put it in one word, but I want- if you-"
He sighed, before finally concluding, "Would you ever consider the possibility of being friends... again?"
She didn't answer immediately, so he continued, "I know it's been too long and I don't have a right to-"
"Yes," Katniss said much to his surprise.
He heard her clearly, but wanting to make sure asked, "What?"
"Yes, it is all weird, but I do want to try to be friends," Katniss smiled, with that special dimple smile.
"Okay," Peeta said, trying to hide the sudden feeling of elation.
In a second of buzzkill, he thought out loud, "Your boyfriend won't mind?"
Katniss raised an eyebrow, "What boyfriend?"
"Thom," Peeta said.
"He's not my boyfriend. He's a friend too." she clarified.
"Oh, okay," Peeta said his smile returning.
Katniss faintly blushed and motioned to his bowl instead, "So did you like Sae's soup?"
"Yeah, I did. I really did," Peeta said with a deeper meaning.
"Good," Katniss smiled.
AN: Tell me what you think of this chapter?
