The swordsman meandered through the city looking for a bar, but wasn't having any luck finding one. He crossed a long, elegantly arched bridge spanning a fast green river and the road beneath his feet changed from stone to bricks laid in sophisticated circular patterns. The buildings grew larger and more ornate, and he began to suspect that the cheap bar he was hoping for wouldn't be found in this district.
He passed boutiques with laughably expensive price tags on apparently brand name wares displayed in their large, gleaming windows.
Zoro's eyebrows were lowering in annoyance at all the junk when he came to a sudden halt. His eye locked onto one shop's sign with a searching expression that you'd see on the face of a person who was having a hard time remembering someone's name.
"Isn't that the panda that's on his prissy pink apron?" Zoro mused, frowning at the strange black and white panda on the sign that read "Doskoi Panda" in stylized lettering.
From the window's display, it looked like they carried a variety of Doskoi brand items, from designer clothes to high-end homewares. The prices were just as outrageous as the other stores in the district.
Zoro started to walk on by, but came to a halt as he spotted a wicked-looking kitchen knife displayed in the window. He hesitated. The swordsman supposed there was no harm in looking. It's not like he even had enough money to buy anything in this store anyway.
He would just see how good the steel was and then he'd leave, that's all.
The green-haired man entered in, passing all of the clothes and home goods and beelining straight back to the wall of kitchen knives. The swordsman had initially come in just to check their quality, but ended up being absorbed by the display, carefully studying each finely-made knife as if he were selecting a katana to go into battle with. By sword standards, they were incredible.
He inspected many different kinds, but one in particular stood out, a chef's knife a little longer than the length of his hand. The steel was flawless, the edge crisp and dangerously sharp, and the handle artfully curved so it fit comfortably into one's hand. It was a blade with a soul, and Zoro wanted it.
He gritted his teeth when he looked at the price tag. It was nearly as expensive as a good katana! Reluctantly, he rested the superb knife back on the display, giving serious thought to why he was so disappointed anyway. There was really no scenario where buying the cook a knife was ok.
Except the one, he thought, swallowing hard.
He felt a weight brush against his side, tugging at his pants. The swordsman reached into his pocket and his mouth dropped open in bewilderment as he pulled out a fat, neatly folded wad of Beli, more than enough to get the knife.
Zoro automatically scooped it and its box up before he could second guess himself and took it to the counter, slapping the magically appeared money down determinedly.
The elderly cashier chuckled. "Your cook is very lucky, swordsman. Not everyone has a man who will spend hours picking out a knife for them."
Had he really been in there that long? Rivulets of sweat formed on Zoro's brow as a blush stung his cheeks.
"Well, uh, I'm not even sure if what makes a good sword makes a good kitchen knife," he replied as he took the small box out of the frilly gift bag she gave him and tucked it into the haramaki at his waist.
"You seem to know what makes a good lover, though, and that's what counts," she chuckled, watching in amusement as he left in a hurry.
Zoro exited the store feeling more than a little foolish and began retracing his steps, trying to remember which direction the temple was in.
The box tucked into his haramaki felt cold and strange against his skin. This was very bad. He had somehow bought a wonderful, expensive gift for a straight man who hated him.
Zoro thought he was prepared for what that damn kiss might do to him, but he wasn't expecting that Sanji would kiss him right back with such enthusiasm.
He wasn't expecting that touching the cook would feel so natural, so exciting.
And he definitely wasn't expecting that he'd begin craving something from Sanji that went beyond just sex.
Nothing seemed familiar to Zoro as roughly hewn cobblestones replaced the manicured bricks underfoot, and the crowds of common folk returned like an oppressive halo around him.
He wandered around for a good while before he heard a familiar voice call out to him.
"Oi! Shitty marimo! There you are!" Sanji swam through the traffic, and by the look on his face, he was not pleased.
"What the hell have you been doing? I had to leave Rikka-chan during dessert to come find you! You're lucky I still have this stupid marimo locator to follow, little lost swordsies," he taunted, clenching down on the cigarette dangling from the side of his mouth.
"Oi! I'm not lost, shit cook!" Zoro replied irritably as they both fell into their usual routine.
"That's a bunch of shit! You're so damn hopeless you can't even tell if you're lost or not!" Sanji angrily swiped at Zoro's head with his foot, and the swordsman caught the kick on the blunt edge of a katana.
"You're the one who's hopeless, curly cook. Whenever there's a woman around you're completely useless!" Zoro barked back, pushing back against Sanji's shoe with his sword.
"Maybe if you actually put some effort in with ladies you wouldn't be such a shithead all of the time!" Sanji flipped gracefully away from the blade, smoke waving from his cigarette like a proud flag.
"You spend tons of effort on women and you're still the biggest shithead I know," the swordsman snapped.
"Tch. You're just jealous that all the ladies love me, marimo," Sanji scoffed.
"Whatever, curly brow. Then go find one to bother and get out of my hair." Zoro grumbled, emptying his lungs in one frustrated sigh. He gripped onto Wado's hilt with white peaked knuckles.
"I'm only in your hair because of this stupid thing!" The cook raised his hand and dangled their thread of fate in Zoro's face. "Once it's gone, we never have to speak again for all I care. Got it, shitty moss head?"
Zoro sucked in a sharp breath as he spotted something in the crowd just ahead.
Sanji found himself thrown into an alley without warning and pressed flat against a brick wall behind a stack of crates.
"Get the hell off, mari-" the cook was silenced as Zoro slapped a hand over his mouth.
"Shut up," he whispered in his ear.
Sanji turned his head to peer through the slats of one of the crates. A peek of a white cape emblazoned with black kanji passed in front of the mouth of the alley only feet from their hiding spot like a dark cloud over the sun.
Zoro felt the cook's muscles tense, but he held them both completely still, hidden behind the wooden boxes. Sanji's breath rushed over his hand in agitated puffs as the cook shifted under the weight of the muscular frame plastering him to the wall.
Zoro became lost for a moment as he pressed his face into the cook's neck. He began to focus on the heat from Sanji's body seeping through their clothes, the sound of his heart, the faint scent of the ocean on his skin.
"Get off!" Sanji hissed in a whisper as soon as the threat had moved on, and he pushed Zoro's shoulders away roughly, his cheeks aflame.
As the swordsman took a step back, their eyes met for an unguarded instant, and each saw the other's pupils dilated and heavy with urgent, clothes-ripping lust.
Their wide eyes darted away from each other like repelling magnets.
"Quit looking at me like that, you shitty bastard!" the fuming cook snarled at him, ramming his hands into his pockets.
"If you don't like it, don't look at me," Zoro grumbled, crossing his arms over his chest. He felt his own heart thumping madly through his wrists.
The swordsman quickly shifted his concentration from his red-faced rival to the immediate problem of now being trapped in the alley. If they could make a clean break right now, they could run ahead and choose a place to face the Admiral that wasn't a tight street in the middle of a crowd crammed with women and children.
"Can you jump up there?" Zoro asked, pointing to the tops of the buildings they were sandwiched between.
Sanji glowered at him, then nodded seriously. "But I'll have to kick your useless ass up first."
After another quick glance to the end of the alley, the cook hooked his leg like a perch for the swordsman, who jumped on with practiced ease. With a dramatic shift of his weight, he catapulted Zoro to the top of the building then sky walked after him, zigzagging on puffs of air.
Zoro ducked below the lip of the roof and Sanji plopped down next to him.
"It's kind of weird that he's here," Zoro said, watching Sanji from the corner of his eye.
The cook cracked open his lighter, hostility muddying his expression. "There are a lot of weird things happening here that shouldn't be," he stated icily.
"I'm going to assume you mean what happened with the kiss," Zoro said bluntly, raising a green brow. "What's the problem? It served its purpose. We both liked it," he spoke with calm nonchalance. Really liked it.
"That's exactly the problem! I know we're supposed to be in a damn love trial, but I'm not gay and this-" Sanji alternated pointing between them, "is not happening. Nami-san and Robin-chan would be heartbroken if they knew about all of this. That's why that shit stops now. No kisses, no touching, no weird looks. Got it?" the cook ordered as he jabbed his cigarette in the swordsman's face at each point.
Zoro's cocky smirk didn't falter. "So you admit you liked it."
"That's it!" The seething cook launched into the air and attacked, his long leg rushing down at the swordsman's head in a black blur.
Zoro just barely caught the heavy kick on his crossed katanas, then threw Sanji off of with a slice of the blades. The cook backflipped away, landing nimbly on his feet.
An impossibly fast beam of light suddenly streaked in between the fighting pirates, and they dove apart. The swordsman swiftly unsheathed Wado and fed it into his bite, then unknotted his black bandana from his arm with a shake and tied it on his head.
Countless pinpricks of blazing light streaked to the rooftop and began to form the outline of a person. Zoro rapidly coated his swords in Haki, the indigo tendrils of energy snaking down their lengths.
The vision of a past horror in oversized sunglasses, a tacky gold suit, and a long Navy coat stood before them.
"Ahh, if it isn't the Straw Hat Crew," Admiral Kizaru lilted in a sing-song voice.
"I recall that fighting me last time didn't work out so well for you." His eyes moved slyly between them from behind smoked amber lenses.
Zoro didn't hesitate as he rushed forward, his katanas arcing into a bright, Haki-imbued slash of energy that he threw at the Navy Admiral.
Kizaru darted away at inhuman speed, letting the frustrated swordsman's strike rush past him. A white-hot sword of light materialized in the older man's hand.
"Very scary, Roronoa Zoro. But you'll have to do better than that." His slack mouth puckered into an oily smile.
Zoro growled and threw his weight into his swords, wrapped darkly in Armament Haki, and sliced viciously across Kizaru's chest. To the swordsman's shock, his blades passed through the Admiral as if he were made of clear air. Zoro flew forward propelled by his own momentum and harmlessly sailed through the Logia eater's body to the street below. People screamed, clearing the area around him.
"What the hell?" Zoro exclaimed in disbelief as he tumbled to the side to avoid a piercing beam of light. He saw Sanji launch a fearsome attack from behind, swinging a heavy kick like a battering ram at the Admiral's head, flames licking at his streaking leg.
Unsurprisingly, the cook's attack fell right through his immaterial body. Zoro cursed and gripped his katanas' Haki-shaded hilts, which should have cut his enemy just fine. But he hadn't trained two years just to run away.
The admiral streaked down to the street in pursuit, menacingly raising his long, glowing sword.
Zoro crossed his arms in front of his chest and leaned forward, his unforgiving swords rising like two horns on either side of his shoulders.
"Rengoku Oni Giri!" The swordsman surged forward, the cutting rush of steel flaring out into bright spires of power before him.
His eye widened as he watched Sanji leap above Kizaru, launching into a tight spin that smoldered with orange fire as he drilled down towards their enemy.
Their attacks slammed into the Admiral at the same time, crushing and slicing through solid flesh and bone, to Zoro's shock. A spray of blood spattered across his white uniform in an ugly, irreparable stain. Kizaru went down heaving onto one knee, but looked up at them through his cracked sunglasses, his normally sagging mouth twisted into a hateful snarl.
"We have to hit him at the same time!" Sanji called to the swordsman.
Zoro gave him a hard nod, wondering how the hell the cook was always able to instantly solve these things. His spine straightened as he saw another figure step out from two buildings behind the cook.
"Cook, behind you!" Zoro urgently shouted.
Sanji saw the glow a second too late as a molten column of lava knifed straight towards him. At the last moment, a dark shape skidded in between him and the magma, silhouetted by the intensely bright, sparking wall of flames.
Triple knife-edged slashes leapt from Zoro's katanas and scythed through the heaps of lava, splitting and flinging the majority of it to the side.
To Zoro's dismay, more of the scalding magma replaced it, lancing straight through his side and sending him sailing through the air and crashing through the wall of a shop.
Sanji launched into an impressive series of flips and dodges to avoid a similar fate as a thick, smoking tendril of molten rock fell where he had just stood. The cook lunged away from Akainu, weaving around the deadly, flaring attacks of two of the Navy's most elite as he made his way to the fallen swordsman, vaulting into the crumbling building.
He peeked back through the huge hole destroyed in the wall and saw Akainu momentarily distracted as he yelled something at the wounded Kizaru. He quickly searched for Zoro.
"Marimo!" Sanji called, throwing debris off of his still body. He cursed as he picked up a brick, slippery with blood. "Time to get out of here, idiot," he said soberly, making a quick check for all three swords before shouldering the badly burned man. The cook burst through the wall on the other side of the small store with a sharp kick then ran into the alley.
It wasn't long before he sensed his pursuers close behind. Sanji spotted a bridge crossing a fast river ahead and he ran for it, stopping in the middle of the solidly-built span. He spun around to face the two Admirals.
Sanji hefted Zoro's weight further up on his shoulder, and the swordsman groaned. His intelligent blue eye shifted between his outrageously powerful enemies and he took a step back, scuffing into the side of the stone bridge.
"Marimo," he whispered, hoping the injured man was conscious enough to understand. "Take a deep breath and hold it." He felt Zoro's chest shudder and expand.
"What do we have here? A Supernova on his last legs. I'm going to end this ridiculous Pirate Era, one pirate at a time." Akainu snarled, his arm melting into a smoldering plume of goopy lava. Kizaru appeared on his other side, holding his blood-streaked chest but aiming his finger threateningly at them.
"Tch. Idiots. You can kill every last one of us, but as long as there are people who want to be free, there will be pirates," Sanji replied passionately, a wild blue ocean roaring in his visible eye.
As another pillar of intensely bright, steaming lava blasted at the pirates, Sanji launched in a dramatic leap backwards off the bridge, Zoro in tow.
