Author's notes:
I can't stop writing! I've got the Jagan bug :)) Thank you Kimmi for your support, means a lot!
This chapter Logan's starting to get hormonal so bare with him. Hey, yupy! Kendall's here! Who's happy about that? :))
Ok, go on, read and PLIIIIZ let me know what you think.
Thank you and lots of love.
The past couple of days went like a blur for Logan. He had never felt happiness like this. He had never been more grateful for getting wasted. Weirdly enough that had been the best decision of his life. He only had one worry on his mind. And that worry had a name and a surname - Kendall Knight and his reaction to his and James' new relationship.
He clearly could not focus anymore of his book. With a sigh Logan got up from the couch and made his way to the kitchen, in search of something to drink. Something like milk. Yeah milk - that sounded yummy right about now. Maybe soy milk. The one with vanilla. Yummy vanilla. Logan's mouth watered at the thought. He opened the fridge and found…chocolate flavored soy milk - who drinks chocolate soy milk? That's just gross! Logan made a face and placed the milk carton back. With another sigh he went to get dressed and go shopping.
He made his way back to his room and smiled like a child knowing that the only thing of his in there anymore was his extensive book collection and his clothing, as it would not fit in James' closet. Logan shook his head. "My boyfriend has more clothes than a shopping mall." He giggled and got dressed. At last minute he decided to text James and let him know of the impromptu shopping trip asking if he wanted anything.
James was at the gym again. The man spent half his life working out! Not that Logan would ever complain. Never! James looked like a Grecian God - HIS Grecian God! Wow! That sounded nice! HIS Grecian God. Logan smiled and changed James' name in his contacts to Grecian God, giggling at himself.
He bought his craved soy vanilla milk, drinking half a carton before he even paid for it, then went back to buy another carton, just to make sure he had enough. When he was heading back to the cashier to pay for his milk a little girl came up and asked for a picture. He smiled and accepted gladly.
"You look funny." The cute five year old told him. "Oh…why?" He asked in confusion. "Your mustache is white. Like Santa's!" She giggled and hugged his neck. Logan was taken aback by her cuteness so he left his little milk mustache as her mom took the picture. "That's because I'm growing it back, to have it full length by Christmas." Logan whispered to her, raising an index finger to his lips, as if telling her the biggest secret in the world. The girl's mother smiled warmly as his little fan gasped. "You're Santa?" She asked in awe, putting her little pudgy hands over her little mouth. Logan winked at her and nodded. She hugged him again. "Can you bring me a pink unicorn bike, please Santa! I'll be good! I promise!" She whispered in his ear. Her mom nodded "yes" and Logan agreed. The little girl left bouncing in happiness.
Logan smiled as he stood up, wiping his upper lip. He simply paid for his groceries and went home with a stupid smile, half imagining how it would be like to have a daughter as cute as that. He sighed knowing he wasn't destined to be a father. At least not to his and James' child. A tear ran down his face before he could hold it in. He wiped it away as he pulled into the BTR Mansion's garage. He put his milk in the fridge and went right to bed, flopping face down on the mattress, feeling sorry for himself, allowing tears to just fall of their own free will.
Carlos heard the garage door open. He got up from his lounge chair, by the pool, and went inside to see who it was. He saw Logan go to his room. To his old room. Logan didn't look right. He seemed depressed.
"If they had a fight, I'll bash both their heads in!" Carlos said, determined, to the air. Logan hadn't noticed him. Carlos sighed and went to check up on Logan. He found the door wide open and Logan, face first on his bed, crying. Crying like a child that lost his favorite toy.
Carlos got scared. Logan didn't usually cry. Come to think of it, Carlos hadn't seen Logan cry since first grade when he fell from a tree and broke his leg in two places. He thought of what to do. If it was about James, Carlos had said he would not meddle. If it wasn't about James, though, he should be a good friend and, at least, offer Logan a shoulder to cry on. But how to know the reason why Logan was crying? If he were to ask and Logan would say it was about James then Carlos could not leave his friend and just walk away…What to do? Logan's sobs were filling the room, hitting Carlos' eardrums like jackhammers. Jackhammers of guilt for standing like a statue in the door way. Then it came to him. Call James! Ask if he had upset Logan. Simple. Simple and fast.
Carlos got his phone out. It only took a ring for James to answer. "Heya Los!"
"Dude! What did you do?"
"Do? What do you mean?"
"Logan's in his room bawling his eyes out. WHAT did you do?!"
"WHAT?! Carlos what are you talking about?"
"So…It's not your fault…" Carlos replied in a small voice. Now he was feeling guilty about scaring the shit out of James. He knew how protective James was of Logan. And that was way - WAY - before they ever got together.
"I'm coming home!" James ended their conversation. Carlos hung his head and walked inside Logan's room, putting a hand on his friend's back. "Logie… what's wrong?" He cooed, trying to get Logan to calm down. Logan just shook his head "no" and emitted a sound in the pillows. Yeah - that helped! Not at all. Carlos sighed inwardly. Logan could be such a child at times. Apparently this was one of those times. Carlos remained silent and kept on rubbing Logan's lower back gently - trying and failing miserably to calm him down.
James just took his stuff out of the gym locker, threw the key on the reception desk and ran out of there at full speed. It took him a fraction of the normal traffic time to get home. He didn't even bother parking the car properly before he was literally flying inside the mansion to find out what was wrong with his Logan.
He found Carlos rubbing Logan's back. Logan just kept crying. When their eyes met, Carlos got up and left the room, mouthing a little "I'm sorry" on his way out. James sat down on the bed.
"Baby?" He asked worriedly. Logan slowly turned to face him. His beautiful eyes all red and puffy. James' heart sunk, but opened his arms to allow Logan to hide his face in his neck. "Baby, what's wrong…?" James tried again, caressing Logan's soft brown hair.
"I'm not good enough for you." Logan sobbed harder than ever. James' heart stilled. "What?" If Logan was breaking up with him, he'd kick his ass to the Moon and back! "I'm not good enough…I'm…not…" Logan tried to pull away. James felt him move and tightened his grip, effectively pinning Logan against his chest. "You're perfect, Logan. You're everything. You're all I need." He went on, fear gripping his insides. "Don't ever say that again, Logan. I love you so much!" Logan sobbed harder.
"I'll never be able to…" Logan tried to explain himself but lost it again. "Please, Logie, please stop crying. Just… just tell me what got you like this. Please, baby, you're scaring me." Logan drew in a long breath. "…give you children." He whispered against James' neck and kept on crying. James wasn't sure he had heard right. He gently pushed Logan at arm's length to look him in the eyes.
"Logan, look at me." Logan did. His eyes red, his face red, his nose runny. "Where did that come from?" Logan shrugged. James ran a hand through his hair. How to explain to the man you love that you'd give up the world just for one single kiss from him? How to explain that you couldn't care less about having children if you had him?
"Having you is enough." Logan shook his head "no" and looked down at his own hands. "Logan. I said look at me." Logan looked up again. "I love you! Stop crying, baby. We can always adopt if we decide we want a child. Please, stop crying."
Instead of calming Logan down, James' words had the opposite effect, Logan falling into his chest once more. "See. I'm not enough. I can't give you YOUR children, James. You deserve to have children. Your own children. You need a woman…" James grabbed him by the shoulders and shook him. "I will punch you in the face if you ever say that again!"
That did it. Logan instantly stopped crying. He was in shock. His loving James was scaring him a little. "You are the only person I want or will ever want by my side, to share my days and my nights with. Ever!" James hugged Logan so tight he felt his ribs crack a little. "You're everything to me, Logan. Everything."
Logan hugged James back. "I love you so much, I just want…" Logan tried but James cut him off. "I know, baby, but it's ok. I'm ok with this. I'm ok with everything, just to have you. Only you." Logan sighed. He allowed James' love to wash over him and calm him down.
When he felt Logan relax in his embrace James dared to ask "What brought this on?" Logan bit his lip. "I went shopping." James nodded. "A little girl recognized me. She was so adorable. I just…" Logan started to tear up again. A little. He controlled himself this time. "I just wondered how it would be to h-h-have a daughter like that…" James kissed Logan's neck. "She'd totally get your brain and outsmart me." James played along. "But she'd get your eyes. And your smile." James smiled at the thought.
It did sound amazing. A child made from both of them. James could almost see their little girl, running around the house, making a mess, playing him and Carlos to her every whim. "We could get a surrogate." James told Logan in a whisper. "Really?" Logan's voice was full of hope. "You'd want us to have a child?"
"Yes, Logan. I would."
Logan kissed James. Desperately. Gratefully. Lovingly.
"What did I do to deserve you?" Logan whispered against his lips.
"You were born." James hugged Logan again. The fear of losing him was now melting away, but he still needed Logan's warmth to calm himself down.
Logan let the hug go on for as long as James needed it to, he himself needing the reassurance. And then his stomach broke the magic again. "You're hungry." James - captain Obvious - stated. "Yeah."
"Lets find Carlos and go out for food?" James suggested. Logan agreed. "But we have to be back in time to pick up Kendall from the airport… what time is it, anyway?" Logan's brain function was coming back. James looked at his watch. "We still have 4 hours till we have to be at the airport."
They found Carlos talking on the phone with Stephanie. "Hang on, Steph. Yeah, guys?" He asked, putting a hand over the receiver of his phone. "We wanted to go grab a bite to eat before going to pick up Kendall from the airport. Wanna join?" James asked. Carlos shook his head "no". "Steph and I already made plans…" He said with an apologetic voice. "So, we're going on our own to pick up Kendall?" Logan asked, raising his eyebrow. "If you guys don't mind…" James sighed. Carlos did have the right to find happiness. "Yeah, sure, whatever…" He shrugged. "Say "hi" to Stephanie for us." He said as he pulled Logan out the door.
Carlos sighed as he watched them go, happy they were both ok. "Yeah. The mansion's all ours, if you want to come over…" Carlos purred in his receiver. "Oh, and the boys said to say "hi" for them." He added. "I'll be there in 10." Stephanie's voice rang clear over the phone. Carlos nodded, even though she couldn't see him. "See you." He ended the conversation, running to his room, making sure everything was squeaky clean and tidy and perfect looking for his girlfriend.
Fifteen minutes later, Stephanie was knocking at the BTR Mansion door. Carlos opened the door almost the same second, pulling her in a heated kiss even before closing the door behind her.
"Hi, boyfriend." Stephanie giggled against his lips, sending sweet little shivers down his back. "Hi, girlfriend." Carlos pecked her lips once more then just rested his forehead against hers, breathing in her sweet floral scent. The scent that made his head fuzzy. He closed his eyes a second and got lost in her scent. "You smell good." Carlos finally said. "It's the perfume you gave me." Stephanie giggled in the girly-est way possible. It made Carlos happy. The sound. It made Carlos happy.
"What were you doing before I came?" Stephanie asked when Carlos moved away, pulling her, gently, to the living room. "Waiting…" He played. "Fooor…?" She insisted. "The most beautiful girl on the planet." Carlos replied. When Stephanie visibly melted Carlos got a impish grin on his face. "But the you showed up…" Stephanie gasped and punched Carlos in the arm as hard as she could. Which wasn't hard at all, but Carlos still broke out in a light run around the couch. "You little…" Stephanie panted, laughing, running after him.
Seeing how she had no chance of outrunning her boyfriend, Stephanie decided on a simpler form of attack, she jumped over the couch, right in Carlos' chest, but catching her leg on the couch back, causing them both to fall to the ground with an "umph" from Carlos. "Ouchies…" He let out after his body settled on the hard floor.
"You deserved it!" Stephanie teased. She tried to get up, but Carlos held her there by her waist. "You know you're the most beautiful girl to me." He said seriously, looking her in the eyes. Stephanie smiled. "Then, let's get you off the floor and look at your back…I think you'll get a bruise…" She tried to push herself up, from Carlos' chest, to allow him to stand up. Carlos didn't let her move an inch.
"There's only one thing that will make me feel better." He whispered. "What?" Stephanie asked in the same low voice. Carlos simply locked their lips together, his heart beating at 100 miles per hour under Stephanie's gentle touch. She didn't fight him, just answered his kiss with the same amount of need.
Carlos rolled her on her back, breaking their kiss so he could watch her features. Her brown hair was framing her face in such a way that it almost looked like an angel's halo. Carlos supported his weigh on his arms while looking down at the beauty in front of him. Stephanie just smiled and caressed Carlos' face.
When he kissed her again it tasted differently. It tasted right. It wasn't heated or demanding, just a slow movement that drove Carlos crazy. It went right to his groin. He felt himself grow hard and blushed without control. He moved his hips higher so Stephanie wouldn't catch on.
They'd been dating for a few weeks, almost two months. Carlos wanted more, but he didn't want to push. He respected Stephanie too much to do that. Lately it had gotten harder and harder for him to wait. His dreams were getting away from him and mornings were harder to take in when he seemed to wake up more and more in soiled undergarments. Yet, still, he waited. Carlos thought it was only normal for him to do so. His mom had taught him a long time ago that women are to be respected and treated like precious china. And his momma was always right. So Carlos waited. And waited. And moved his hips away when he had to. Every time. He gently broke their kiss and pulled Stephanie to her feet.
Stephanie felt him move away. She felt the reason why. She was a bit confused. She knew it wasn't the first time that this had happened. She had hoped for Carlos to take charge and get them to the next step of their relationship. She knew she wasn't his first girlfriend - he wasn't her first boyfriend either - he had to know what to do. She knew he liked her that way. She could feel it in his kisses. And yet… Yet Carlos pulled away. "Not this time." She thought with determination. She was desperate for his warmth, his touch, his kisses. She wanted it all, not just half of…him!
Carlos gently guided her to the couch and sat down. Before he could pull her beside him, Stephanie saddled his legs, sitting right on top of his crotch, feeling his need for her. She knew he'd get the point sooner or later. The heat radiating from her could not be mistaken, not even by her sweet innocent Carlos.
Carlos' eyes went open wide, as big as saucers, but he didn't have time to react as Stephanie bent down and kissed his lips roughly, her hands tangling in his raven hair. A moan escaped his lips when Stephanie took control of his mouth, rolling her hips on top of him. His hands were hovering half an inch away from her back, not sure weather or not he should touch her, knowing that, if he did, he would no longer be able to control himself.
Another little move of Stephanie's hips on him and Carlos felt like coming. His hands rested on her waist, trying to still her, but when she moaned his name, in between kisses, Carlos' hands found their own way to Stephanie's ass, squeezing, kneading, touching, doing whatever they wanted to.
Stephanie smiled at her triumph. If she would have known Carlos only wanted her to make the first move, she would have done so weeks ago! She moved her mouth to his neck, kissing, nibbling, licking, making Carlos moan. She loved the sounds he emitted under her touches and kisses.
"Steph…" Carlos panted. "We need to stop…"
"Why, Los?"
"I won't be able to later…"
"So?"
Carlos looked in Stephanie's brown eyes. Something had changed. There was a new spark inside of them. Carlos licked his lips.
"I don't want to push you…" Carlos groaned when Stephanie replied with a nicely placed movement of her hips.
"I want it all. I want you to make love to me." Stephanie told him without hesitation, her heart racing at the speed of light, in time with Carlos', beating erratically under the palm of her left hand.
"Steph…" Carlos tried, his voice hoarse with lust.
"I'm sure." Stephanie replied.
"Not here…" Carlos finally managed to get out. Stephanie nodded and got off his lap, on shaky legs. Carlos steadied her and pulled her up in his arms, carrying her to his bedroom. Stephanie smiled and cradled her head in the crook of Carlos' neck, her arms wrapping around his neck.
When he reached his huge water bed, Carlos placed Stephanie down on her feet, right next to it. "No shoes on my bed." He looked her in the eyes. "Especially not heals." When Stephanie raised an eyebrow at him Carlos explained. "Water bed." Stephanie giggled. "Of course. It's so you."
Carlos blushed as Stephanie sat down gingerly, trying to keep the watery mass under her as still as possible while she took off her sandals. The straps were giving her a bit of trouble, but, then Carlos kneeled in front of her covering her small hands with his. She looked in his eyes and allowed him to take off her shoes. As he did, Carlos placed gentle kisses on her feet. To her ankles and back. To her knees and back. On her lips.
Stephanie shivered under the gentle touch of Carlos' fingers trailing up her legs. She melted in Carlos' kiss and allowed him complete control over her body. Her hands moved up Carlos' arms, to his neck, tangling gently in his hair.
No words left their lips, just soft breaths, little moans of pleasure as their fingers traced special spots on their body. Carlos was the most gentle of men and his water bed made it easy for them to move as one. Stephanie reached her very first orgasm without knowing, tumbling over the edge, right in Carlos' arms who followed her, grunting her name in the crook of her neck.
As Carlos came down from his high he felt grateful that his water bed allowed him to remain on top of Stephanie without squishing her. Carlos gently moved by her side. Stephanie sighed and cuddled in his embrace.
"Thank you." She whispered, kissing his chest, right above his heart. Carlos smiled. "What for, girlfriend?" Stephanie blushed deep. She was thankful that Carlos had his cheek on the top of her head and would not be able to see how embarrassingly red she had turned. "My first orgasm." She smiled.
Carlos gasped out loud, pride invading every cell in his body. "Steph… really?" She simply nodded against his chest, hearing the giggle inside of him. "Wow. My pleasure. Anytime, milady!". Stephanie flicked his nipple. "Stop teasing."
Carlos lifted her chin and kissed her lips. "Wanna try see if I can do that again?" He asked playfully. "Emm… yes?" Stephanie answered, locking their lips together as best she could, due to Carlos' ear-to-ear smile.
Sitting at the airport waiting area James saw Logan fidget, a complete bundle of nerves. "Loges, what's wrong?" He tried to move closer to his boyfriend, but Logan just back up a little step. "Paparazzi…" Logan mouthed before giving him a fake little smile. James grunted and closed his eyes under his aviator sunglasses. "What's wrong?" He asked again, sticking his hands deep in his jeans pockets and leaning against the wall behind him.
"I'm…just worried…how…he'll react…" James lowered his sunglasses a little. "He'll be ok with it." James stated and shrugged, pushing his glasses back up. Logan wasn't reassured.
When they announced Kendall's flight had landed Logan almost jumped - that's how scared he really was. James saw right through him. Knowing someone for literally all your life will give you a bit of an insight. He sighed and carelessly flung his arm around Logan's neck. "Relax." He whispered.
Logan looked up. James' scent and warmth were making him feel somewhat better. His body actually followed James' order and he stopped fidgeting, but his mind was another story. They saw Kendall's honey hair over the crowd and Logan's heart sped up. "Relax! We'll tell him at home…" James whispered and let go of Logan to hug Kendall tightly.
"Dude! I've missed you!" James told Kendall, ruffling his hair. Kendall growled a little "I haven't missed you - especially when you do this!" He shoved James in the ribs, playfully. "Logie!" Logan grinned and welcomed Kendall's hug. "Two weeks is too long, dude!" Logan replied, tip-toe-ing a little to hug Kendall properly.
"He so is the girl!" James thought and smiled at the sight in front of him before throwing Kendall's bags in the trunk of his jeep.
"Where's Carlos?" Kendall asked, looking around a little. "Home. With Stephanie." James and Logan answered as one.
"You two spend too much time together." Kendall joked, not knowing even the half of it.
